Zamkati
- Kodi kukhala ndi mwana kumakhudza bwanji banja lanu?
- Kulinganiza kulera ndi ukwati
- Malangizo 15 oyanjanitsa ukwati ndi kulera
- 1. Phunzitsani ana anu kudziimira paokha
- 2. Gwirizanani mfundo zanu zachikhalidwe
- 3. Lumikizanani ndi aliyense m'banja
- 4. Osamenya nkhondo pamaso pa ana
- 5. Kambiranani ndi kusiya pang'ono
- 6. Pangani ndandanda yomwe imagwira ntchito kwa aliyense
- 7. Khalani gulu
- 8. Kulankhulana, kulankhulana, kulankhulana
- 9. Ikani patsogolo nokha
- Sewerani ndi ana anu
- 11. Musamadziimbe mlandu mukatenga nthawi
- 12. Gwiritsani ntchito tsiku lililonse
- 13. Idyani pamodzi
- 14. Mangani miyambo
- 15. Musamenyane pamaso pa ana anu
- Mapeto
Amanena kuti zotsutsana zimakopa; zikafika pakusanja ukwati ndi kulera, icho chingakhale chinthu chabwino. Banja lirilonse likubweretsa maluso ndi maluso osiyanasiyana panjirapo, monga banja, mutha kuphunzira kuchokera kwa wina ndi mnzake ndikukhala ndi zokumana nazo zambiri limodzi.
Mwachitsanzo, mkazi wolankhula momasuka angathandize mwamuna wolowerera kuchita zambiri, ndipo mwamuna wadongosolo angathandize mkazi wosachita bwino kukwaniritsa zinthu zambiri. Ndipo mndandanda ukupitilira.
Pamodzi, mwamuna ndi mkazi angathe kuthandizana wina ndi mnzake kukula. Ngakhale izi zitha kukhala zokongola m'banja, zikafika pakubereka, nthawi zina kutsutsana si chinthu chabwino.
Mwina ndi wokhwimitsa zinthu, ndipo mkaziyo ndi wofatsa; amakhala wosasinthasintha, mkaziyo amatha kusinthasintha, kapena mwina sakudziwa za yemwe amabwera koyamba: mkazi kapena ana.
Mukabweretsa anthu awiri osiyana, okhala ndiubwana wosiyana komanso makulidwe awiri kuti akhale kholo limodzi, zimatha kukhala zosokoneza.
Kodi mumatha bwanji kulera ndi banja? Mumatani pamavuto oyenera kulangidwa? Mwana wanu akalemba mawu kusukulu, kholo lililonse limafuna kuthana nalo bwanji kunyumba?
Nanga bwanji kuchuluka kwa nthawi yowaloleza kukhala kunyumba kwa anzawo, kapena kuchuluka kwa nthawi yowaloleza kugwiritsa ntchito zida zamagetsi? Nanga bwanji ntchito zapakhomo, kapena ndalama kapena kugwiritsa ntchito magalimoto anu? Zowonadi, pali zinthu zambiri, zofunika kuziganizira.
Kodi kukhala ndi mwana kumakhudza bwanji banja lanu?
Kulinganiza bwino ukwati ndi kulera sikuli kwa mitima yofooka. Kuyika mnzanu woyamba m'banja ndikusamalira maubwenzi anu pambuyo pa ana kumatenga nthawi yayitali komanso kuleza mtima.
Sitingathe kulera ana athu momwe makolo athu adatikulira, ndipo izi zimapangitsa kuti zikhale zovuta kwambiri kuthetsa ukwati wanu ndi chisangalalo chokhala kholo, makamaka tikamagwiritsa ntchito nthawi yathu yambiri osachepera theka la diso lathu aang'ono.
Malinga ndi Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts, zovuta zazikulu zosagwirizana komanso kusiyana pazinthu zakulera pazifukwa zingapo zopatukana. Ndikofunika kuti musatenge mopepuka.
Kodi mungatani kuti mukhale ndi nthawi yokwanila yolera ndi kulera komanso kupeza nthawi yokwanira yochitira zonsezi? Chabwino! Pali njira zothetsera ukwati ndi kulera. Tiyeni timvetse izi, kamodzi.
Wina akhoza kuthetsa ukwati ndi kulera mosavuta koma ayenera kutsatira malamulo ena kuti akwaniritse ntchito yomwe siingatheke ngati pro.
Nanga banja lingakhale bwanji mogwirizana m'njira yogwirizana? Momwe mungapangire ubale kuti ugwire ntchito ndi ana? Ndizotheka kuzichita zonse ndikuzichita bwino.
Kulinganiza kulera ndi ukwati
Kulinganiza bwino ukwati ndi kulera kumafunikira kufunitsitsa kwanu kukonza banja lanu. Kukhala okonda kwinaku mukulera ana kumawoneka ngati ntchito yovuta ndi zambiri zomwe zikuchitika pafupi nanu zomwe zimawoneka ngati mukusiyana pang'ono ndi banja lanu lokoma.
Komabe, ndi njira yoyenera, kunena zoona, komanso kukhulupirirana, mutha kuyendetsa bwino ukwati ndi kulera popanda kuda nkhawa kuti banja lanu litha.
Ukwati pambuyo pa ana ndichinthu chodabwitsa chomwe chimafala kwa mabanja ambiri. Izi ndichifukwa choti maanja amakonda kunyalanyaza ubale wawo pakati pa zovuta zapantchito, zapabanja, pabanja, ndi zina zotero.
Chifukwa chake, momwe mungakhalire moyenera pakati paukwati ndi kulera? Kodi pali njira yothetsera ukwati pambuyo pa ana kapena yothetsera mavuto aukwati pambuyo pa ana?
Malangizo 15 oyanjanitsa ukwati ndi kulera
Mphamvu zakubanja ndi kulera zikusintha kwathunthu. Nawa maupangiri othetsera ukwati ndi kulera popanda kupenga:
1. Phunzitsani ana anu kudziimira paokha
Siziwathandiza kungokhala ndi chidaliro akamayamba kudya kadzutsa, kuyeretsa chipinda chawo, komanso kusewera yekha, zithandiza kuchepetsa nkhawa kwa makolo ndikupatsa amayi ndi abambo nthawi yambiri yocheza.
Zitha kuwoneka zoyipa poyamba koma pang'onopang'ono kukulitsa kuchuluka kwa ufulu kapena kudziyimira pawokha kwa ana anu kumangowathandiza kuphunzira maluso ofunikira kuti akhale okha kapena ndi ena.
Ukwati ndi kulera mwana kumatha kukhalapo pamodzi. Yesani malangizo ali pamwambawa; ngati sizingatheke, pezani upangiri waluso kuti muthandizire vuto lanu.
2. Gwirizanani mfundo zanu zachikhalidwe
Chikondi. Banja. Ntchito. Chimwemwe. Zilizonse zomwe mungakonde pankhani yolera, zilembeni. Ikani omwe ali patsogolo panu, kuti muzikhala nawo nthawi zonse kuti abwerere.
Tikukhulupirira, mfundo zazikuluzikuluzi ndizoyambira bwino kukuthandizani nonse kudziwa zofunikira pakulera; Izi zitha kukuthandizani kuti muzitha kuchita zinthu bwino komanso mogwirizana m'banja mwanu mukamakhala kholo.
Kumbukirani kulera ana achimwemwe poika ukwati wanu patsogolo. Kuika ukwati wanu patsogolo kapena kuyika wokwatirana naye patsogolo pa ana kumatha kukhala kofunikira pakulinganiza ukwati ndi kulera.
3. Lumikizanani ndi aliyense m'banja
Osachepera mphindi 20 patsiku, onetsetsani kuti gwiritsani ntchito nthawi yokha ndi mnzanu komanso ndi mwana aliyense. Nthawi ino athandiza munthu aliyense kukhazikitsa ubale wokhalitsa womwe ungasunge zinthu mnyumba mwanu.
Zizolowezi zomwe mumachita tsiku lililonse zimakhudza kwambiri ana anu. Kugwiritsa ntchito nthawi yabwino pabanja kungathandize ana anu kuti aphunzire kusanja zinthu pamoyo ndipo mwachiwonekere kumakufikitsani pafupi nawo.
4. Osamenya nkhondo pamaso pa ana
Ndizovuta kuti musasemphane pazisankho zakulera mukakhala munthawiyo ndi ana anu pomwepo, koma muyenera kuziyika patsogolo.
Mwina mwana wanu wazaka 9 amachita zinthu mopupuluma; zimawapangitsa abambo kupenga, ndipo amafuna kuwakalipira ndi kuwalanga pomulanda mwayi, koma amayi ndiopirira ndipo amaganiza kuti chilango chokhwima ndichofunika.
M'malo molankhula pamaso pa mwana wanu, muzikhululukirana kwa mphindi zochepa. Muzikambirana ndi mwana wanuyo. Gwirizanani kenako kambiranani ndi mwana wanu wamwamuna.
Izi zikuthandizani kuthetsa kusamvana kwanu komanso kukhala gulu losasinthasintha la kulera mwana wanu.
5. Kambiranani ndi kusiya pang'ono
Ngati mukutsutsana mumayendedwe anu aubwenzi, ndiye kuti nonse muyenera kusiya zina mwazolinga zanu kuti mukhoze kukhala patsamba limodzi. Izi zidzafunika kukambirana pang'ono ndikukambirana.
Mwachitsanzo, ngati wachinyamata wanu akufuna foni yakeyake, ndipo bambo atakana ndipo mayi akuvomera, mwina mungakambirane kenako ndikupeza njira yoti nonse muperekeko pang'ono.
Ngati mungathe kukambirana kuti mulole mwana wanu kuti alandire chimodzi ngati azilipira yekha, ndiye kuti ngati nonse ndinu osangalala, aliyense amapambana.
6. Pangani ndandanda yomwe imagwira ntchito kwa aliyense
Pezani zinthu zonse zofunika zomwe zimapangitsa aliyense kukhala wosangalala komanso wokhazikika. Tikulankhula za nthawi yogona, nthawi yachakudya, kutuluka pabanja, kugonana — inde, ngakhale kugonana.
Mukamabweretsa ana muukwati, muyenera kukhala owonetsetsa momwe mumagwiritsira ntchito nthawi yanu, kotero kukonzekera kumatsimikizira kuti zinthu zofunika kwambiri zimabwera patsogolo.
7. Khalani gulu
Munakwatirana chifukwa chokondana. Mwinanso mumasiyana pamayendedwe amakolo, koma dziwani kuti nonse muli ndi cholinga chofanana - kulera ana abwino, osangalala m'banja lachikondi.
Odala makolo, ana okondwa!
Mvetsetsani momwe mungapangire wokondedwa wanu kukhala wosangalala, yesetsani kukonza ubale wanu ndi mnzanu, kugawana nawo zovuta mukamalera ana anu, kuti wina asamve ngati akuchita izi okha.
Onani zomwe akatswiri akunena:
8. Kulankhulana, kulankhulana, kulankhulana
Titha kumveka ngati tikudzibwereza tokha, koma kuphunzira kulumikizana bwino mosakayikira ndichimodzi mwazinthu zofunikira kwambiri zomwe mungaphunzire kukuthandizani kuti mukhalebe ndi banja komanso moyo wanu monga makolo.
Mutakhala m'banja kwakanthawi, mutha kupeza nthawi yokhayo yolimbana ndi pamene kulumikizana kusokonekera pakati panu. Muyenera kuyeserera maluso anu olankhulirana - momwe mungalankhulire komanso nthawi yomwe muyenera kuyambitsa nkhani.
Kusamalira banja lanu ndi ana anu kungakhale ntchito yovuta kwambiri kwa ambiri.Mwachilengedwe, pali zovuta zomwe mumafuna kukambirana ndi mnzanu, koma ana anu amafuna kuti muzisamala, makamaka akadali makanda.
Koma, musayambe kukambirana nkhani yovuta nthawi ya 3 koloko m'mawa pomwe ana sangagone, ndipo nonse mwatopa. Izi zitha kutha nonse nonse kukhumudwa ndikumenya nkhondo - osati chifukwa chakuti mumakwiya wina ndi mnzake, koma chifukwa chakuti mwatopa komanso mwakhumudwa ndipo simukudziwa njira ina iliyonse yodzifotokozera.
Nthawi zonse zimakhala bwino ngati mungakhale ndi nthawi yophunzira kulumikizana ndi kulumikizana, m'malo mongonyalanyaza mnzanuyo ndikulola kuti zomwe akunenazo zipite khutu limodzi ndi linzake.
9. Ikani patsogolo nokha
Kukhala ndi banja losangalala ndi ana, kudzisamalira ndi chimodzi mwa maluso ofunikira omwe mudzaphunzire monga okwatirana komanso kholo.
Ndikosavuta kunyalanyaza wekha ngati uli ndi ana omwe amadalira iwe ndi wokwatirana naye yemwe amafuna zinthu zochepa zomwe simunagwiritsepo kale ana, koma ngati mukufuna kuthetsa ukwati ndi kulera, muyenera kuphunzira momwe mungakhalire patsogolo wekha kamodzi kanthawi.
Simuyenera kunyalanyaza maudindo ena kapena anthu ena m'moyo wanu. M'malo mwake, pangani nthawi kuti mukhale nokha, ngakhale ndichinthu chaching'ono ngati kutenga mphindi 20 kusinkhasinkha kapena kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi.
Nthawi yomweyo, muyenera kuphunzira momwe mungakhalire patsogolo. Khalani ndi wina wosamalira ana ndikukonzekera tsiku usiku kamodzi pamwezi kapena kamodzi sabata iliyonse, monga ndalama zimaloleza. Mudzakhala otopa komanso opanikizika, makamaka m'miyezi ingapo yoyambirira mutangobereka kumene mwana.
Kupanga nthawi yamasana yamasiku onse kumakupatsani mwayi wopumula ndikuphunzira momwe mungapangire zinthu zoyambirira, zomwe zingakhale zovuta kwa ana kunyumba.
Dziyambitseni nokha, ana anu ndi ukwati wanu sizongogwirizana. Ndizoyeserera pang'ono, koma ndiyofunika pamapeto pake.
Sewerani ndi ana anu
Zikuwoneka kuti aliyense ali ndi malingaliro amomwe muyenera kulera ana anu. Chinthu chimodzi chomwe tonsefe tingagwirizane nacho, ndikuti ana samasewera panja monga momwe timachitira.
Ngakhale zaka zikwizikwi omwe adakulira m'ma 1990 anali ndi ufulu wowunika ndikusewera - komanso zolimbikitsira zochepa zokhala m'nyumba. Tsoka ilo, kusintha kumeneku kwadzetsa kuchuluka kwa ana omwe akuvutika ndi kunenepa kwambiri paubwana.
Pakadali pano, ana opitilira 12 miliyoni ku United States amakhala m'gulu la onenepa kwambiri.
Njira yosavuta yothetsera vutoli, kapena kuchepetsa zovuta zake, ndikutenga nthawi yosewera ndi ana anu. Pitani panja ndikukacheza nawo pabwalo m'malo mokhala pa benchi ndikuwayang'ana akusewera.
Mutha kudabwitsidwa kusangalala komwe muli nako, kuphatikiza kukuthandizani kuti mukhale ndi Cardio, inunso.
11. Musamadziimbe mlandu mukatenga nthawi
Ngati simuli kholo langwiro, mungakhale ndi nkhawa kuti anthu akuyankhula za inu kumbuyo kwanu.
Nanga bwanji ngati ali? Malingana ngati aliyense m'banjamo amadyetsedwa, atavala, komanso akusangalala, musamve chisoni ndikupatula nthawi yoti inuyo kapena mnzanu mubwererenso.
Kudzisamalira sikodzikonda.
Ndipo kudzisamalira kumaphatikizapo kusamalira ubale wanu ndi wokondedwa wanu kapena omwe muli nawo ndi ana anu, kuwonjezera pa kudzisamalira nokha. Umu ndi momwe mungasinthire banja lanu komanso kulera ana nthawi yomweyo.
12. Gwiritsani ntchito tsiku lililonse
Kupeza malire pakati pa kholo ndi banja lanu sizingachitike mwadzidzidzi. Palibe choyenera kuyesetsa kuyesetsa konse.
Khalani ndi nthawi yochita masewera olimbitsa thupi ndikupeza malire anu.
Muyenera kuyigwiritsa ntchito tsiku lililonse ndipo mwinanso mupeze maluso angapo, monga kudzisamalira, mwaiwala pakufuna kwanu kukhala kholo kapena mnzake woyenera. Dzisamalireni nokha, zisamalireni nokha, ndipo zina zonse zidzisamalira zokha.
13. Idyani pamodzi
Ndizodziwika bwino kuti banja lomwe limadyera limodzi limakhala limodzi. Ngakhale moyo wanu uli wotanganidwa motani, nthawi zonse khalani pansi kuti mudye limodzi chifukwa ndi gwero la chikondi, kukwaniritsidwa, ndi chakudya chokwanira.
Kuphatikiza apo, chakudya chimadziwikanso ngati njira yolumikizirana kwambiri. Anthu amanenedwa amamva kuyandikira akudya chakudya chomwecho ndikudya limodzi. Nthawi yosangalatsayi yabanja ikuthandizaninso nonse kulimbikitsa kulumikizana kwakukulu ndikupanga ubale wabwino pakati pa makolo ndi ana.
14. Mangani miyambo
Banja lililonse lili ndi miyambo inayake. Nthawi zambiri amachokera m'mabanja amwamuna ndi mkazi omwe amatengera moyo wawo atakwatirana. Komabe, payenera kukhala miyambo ina yosiyana ya banja lililonse.
Kwa maanja omwe ali ndi ana, yesetsani kupanga ndikulemekeza mwambo wabanja lanu- zomwe mukufuna kuti ana anu azichita akamakula ndikupitilira m'miyoyo yawo.
15. Musamenyane pamaso pa ana anu
Kumenyera pamaso pa ana anu kumabweretsa mavuto. Amakula akuwona makolo awo ngati malingaliro awo, ndipo akawawona akumenya nkhondo, zimawapweteka mumtima. Izi zitha kuwatengera kutali ndi makolo awo kapena adzawatenga mbali.
Komanso, ana amakula ndikulimbitsa ubale m'miyoyo yawo pokhapokha adzawona makolo awo akugwirizana chotere.
Mapeto
Nthawi zonse pamakhala nthawi zovuta m'banja koma ndi njira yoyenera, mutha kulera bwino ana komanso ukwati mosavuta.
Izi sizikuthandizani kulimbitsa ubale wanu ndi mnzanu komanso kuthandizira kukulitsa ubale wolimba komanso waulemu ndi ana anu, omwe nawonso amakula ndikumakhala ndiudindo muubwenzi wawo.