Zamkati
Kukhala ndi kukonda munthu yemwe ali ndi matenda amisala kumakhala kopweteka, kopanikizika, kovuta ndipo kumakupangitsani kumva kuti mulibe mphamvu. Osangoti chifukwa choti muyenera kuwonera munthu amene mumamukonda akucheperachepera kapena kukhala wopanda mphamvu pamaso panu, kapenanso chifukwa choti mnzanu wodwalayo akhoza kukhala pachiwopsezo kwa inu kapena nokha. Koma palinso kuzunzika komwe kumachitika chifukwa chodziona kuti mulibe vuto (chofanana ndi wopulumuka wolakwa) kapena kuwakwiyira kapena kuwakwiyira kapena kuwakhumudwitsa chifukwa cha malingaliro awo omwe mukudziwa kuti sangathe kuwalamulira.
Chifukwa chake sizosadabwitsa kuti banja lomwe limakhala ndi wokwatirana ndi matenda amisala nthawi zambiri limabweretsa chisudzulo, ndipotu, muyenera kudzisamalira nokha kuti nonse muzidwala.
Koma ndizovuta ziti zomwe muyenera kukumana nazo ngati mukufuna kusiya banja lanu lomwe likudwala matenda amisala? Malingaliro awa siapadera koma ndiofunikira ngati muli ndi mnzanu yemwe ali ndi matenda amisala ndipo chisudzulo chili pamakadi.
Chidziwitso cha kutayika
Ndizovuta ngati muyenera kusudzula mnzanu wathanzi. Ngakhale simungathe kuyimirira kuti muwayang'ane kenanso padzakhala kutayika kwazomwe zinalipo kale ndi zomwe zatayika. Koma ngati uyenera kusudzula wina chifukwa sakupeza bwino, zikuvutitsa kwambiri chifukwa nthawi zonse padzakhala zotsatira za 'bwanji ngati'.
- Nanga atakhala kuti akwanitsa kuchira ndikawasiya ndikuwapangitsa kukhala owipitsitsa?
- Bwanji ngati sakupirira okha?
- Nanga angadziphe okha?
- Bwanji ngati akhala bwino ndikuwasowa?
- Ndingatani ngati sindimakondanso wina aliyense momwe ndimakondera wokondedwa wanga ali bwino?
Nachi chinthu, tonse tili ndi njira zathu m'moyo, ndipo sitingakhale moyo wathu kwa ena (pokhapokha titakhala ndi ana ang'ono omwe akutifunikirabe).
'Bwanji ngati' sichinachitike. 'Bwanji ngati' sizingachitike, ndipo kuganizira za iwo ndi malingaliro owononga omwe angakugwetseni pansi.
Chifukwa chake, ngati mukulimbana ndi mnzanu yemwe ali ndi matenda amisala ndipo chisudzulo ndi njira yanu yokhayo, pangani chisankhocho ndikuyimira. Onetsetsani kuti mumathandiza mnzanu kupeza chithandizo ndi chithandizo chomwe angafunikire kuti athe. Tsatirani upangiri uwu, tengani pachibwano ndipo musayang'ane m'mbuyo - kutero ndikudzivulaza ndipo palibe amene ali ndi malingaliro abwino ayenera kuchita izi!
Kulakwa
Chifukwa chake muli ndi mnzanu yemwe ali ndi matenda amisala, chisudzulo chili pamakadi, ndipo ngakhale mukudziwa kuti ndichinthu choyenera simungadziletse kuti musalemeredwe ndi liwongo.
- Kudziimba mlandu kuti simungathe kuthandiza mnzanu
- Olakwa kuti mudasudzula mnzanu wodwala matenda amisala
- Dziwani kuti ana anu ali ndi kholo lamavuto amisala lomwe simungathe kuwathandiza.
- Limbani momwe mnzanu yemwe ali ndi matenda amisala adzakhalire pambuyo pa chisudzulo.
- Kudziimba mlandu kuti simungagwirizane ndi mnzanu bwino kapena moyipa.
Mndandandawu ndiwosatha, koma kachiwirinso, uyenera kuyima!
Simungalole kuti mudwalidwe ndi nkhawa komanso kudziimba mlandu chifukwa cha izi sizithandiza aliyense. Ngati muli ndi ana muyenera kukhala olimba chifukwa cha iwo ndikudzaza ndi mlandu sikungathandize aliyense makamaka mnzanu kapena ana aliwonse omwe muli nawo.
Dzimasuleni nokha ndi ena onse mwa kuchita khama kuti muchotse malingaliro aliwonse olakwa. Dzilolezeni kuti mulanduwu upite tsopano ndikupanga moyo watsopano kuti athandize onse omwe akukhudzidwa.
Nkhani ya moyo weniweni (wosinthidwa mayina) imakhudza mkazi yemwe anali ndi BiPolar Disorder wokhala ndi zizolowezi zama psychotic. Mwamuna wake adayimilira kwa zaka zambiri koma adaumiriza kuti amakhala kunyumba kwa mchimwene wake ndipo sanamulole kuti asamalire mwana wawo wamwamuna wachinyamata (zomwe zimamveka).
Koma adamusiya atagona limbo akukhala kunyumba kwa mchimwene wake kwa zaka zambiri akumalonjeza zopanda pake kuti abwera kunyumba mwezi wamawa, kapena m'miyezi ingapo (yomwe idakhala zaka) chifukwa samatha kuthana ndi vutoli ndipo sanatero mudziwe zoyenera kuchita.
Pambuyo pake adakhala ndi chibwenzi kuti alowe m'malo mwa banja lomwe adataya ndipo patapita nthawi adalola mkazi wake kubwerera kwawo. Sanasangalale ndipo sanathe kuchira, amadziwa kuti ukwati wake watha koma sangachoke.
Zinatengera banja lake zaka khumi kuti amulimbikitse kuti achoke.
Zaka zisanu pambuyo pake, ali wokondwa, akuchita bwino, amatha kukhala yekha ndipo sawonetsa zodwala. Mwamuna wake wakale amasangalalanso ndipo amakhala ndi mnzake watsopano, ndipo onse amakhala bwino kwambiri osavutikanso. Ngati amuna awo akanamumasula kale (pomwe samatha), akanakhala achimwemwe posachedwa, ngakhale zimawoneka zovuta panthawiyo.
Chitsanzo ichi pamwambapa chikuwonetsa kuti simudziwa zotsatira za zomwe mumachita, ndipo simungathe kuwongolera munthu wina kapena kukhala moyo wanu.
Simungayimire moyo wanu kapena kuyesezera kuti mutha kuchita china chake moona mtima, nthawi zina, chovuta kwambiri kuthana nacho.
Ngati muli ndi mnzanu yemwe ali ndi matenda amisala ndipo chisudzulo chili pamakadi, muyenera kuwonetsetsa kuti chisamaliro chake chikuyendetsedwa bwino komanso kuti akuchitiridwa chifundo ndi chifundo mukamapereka chisamaliro kwa wina. Muthanso kukhalabe abwenzi nawo pambuyo pa chisudzulo.
Chilichonse chomwe mungasankhe, bola ngati simukuvulaza wina mwadala, muyenera kuvomereza momwe alili ndi kuwalola kuti adziwe kuti mwakwanitsa kwambiri panthawiyo.
Tikukhulupirira kuti chisankhocho ndi chomwe chingafune kuti athandize aliyense wokhudzidwa kuthana ndi vutoli.
Nkhawa
Kodi pa dziko lapansi mnzanu yemwe ali ndi matenda amisala angathane bwanji ndi banja lanu? Ili lingakhale funso lomwe mukufunsa ndipo lingafunse kwa nthawi yayitali banja litatha. Linalidi vuto pamavuto omwe atchulidwa pamwambapa - mwamunayo sanafune kuti zinthu ziipireipire, koma sanali wokonzeka kuthana ndi mkazi wake wodwalayo kapena m'maganizo mwake ndikupangitsa zinthu kuipiraipira.
Zachidziwikire, mwina mufunika kukhazikitsa njira yothandizira mnzanu ngati gawo la chisudzulo, ndipo pali upangiri wambiri mozungulira, mautumiki ambiri ndi mabungwe othandizira omwe angakuthandizeni kukhazikitsa izi ngati gawo la chisudzulo chanu kukonzekera.
Koma ngati mumagwiritsa ntchito nthawi pazinthuzi osanyalanyaza, zidzakhala zosavuta kuti muchoke, podziwa kuti mnzanuyo ali ndi chisamaliro chomwe angawathandize kuti apite patsogolo ndipo mutha kusiya nkhawa.