Zamkati
- 1. Dziwani chifukwa chake zimachitika
- 2. Mvetsetsani zomwe mukufuna
- 3. Kuthetsa vutolo
- 4. Imani ndi kakhalidwe kamene kamakupangitsani kunyenga
- 5. Ganizirani zogwira ntchito ndi katswiri
- Sinthani kuti musinthe
Ndikosavuta kuweruza obera, makamaka ngati mudapwetekedwa ndi kusakhulupirika kwa mnzanu kale. Komabe, Owabera sikuti ndianthu oyipa, ngakhale adapanga zisankho zomwe zidapangitsa kuti apweteketse anzawo. Mwina sangadziwe chifukwa chake adachita izi, ndipo izi zimapangitsa kuti kubera mayeso kubera kuvute kwambiri.
Kuonera kumakhala kofala. Kafukufuku adawonetsa kuti m'modzi mwa anthu asanu amavomereza kuti amachita zachinyengo. Chiwerengerocho mwina ndichokwera chifukwa anthu amatha kukayikira kuvomereza kuti akuchita zinthu zosayenera pagulu. Ambiri mwa iwo mwina akudabwa, kuphatikizapo inu, momwe mungathetsere kubera.
Onani njira zisanu za momwe mungadzitetezere ku chinyengo zomwe zingakuthandizeni kusiya kubera mnzanu.
1. Dziwani chifukwa chake zimachitika
Monga vuto lililonse m'moyo, kumvetsetsa chifukwa chobera ndichinthu chofunikira kwambiri kuti muchotse. Dzifunseni, “Chifukwa chiyani ndimayesedwa kuti ndibere?” Nchiyani chimayambira kachitidwe konyenga? Kuti musiye kusakhulupirika, muyenera kumvetsetsa zomwe zimapangitsa.
Ngati simukutsimikiza, ganizirani momwe amachitirako zachinyengo ndikuwona ngati mukudziwa kuti ndinu ena mwa iwo. Kubera ikhoza kukhala njira:
- Pewani kukhala pachibwenzi kapena kudalira wina amene muli pachibwenzi,
- Kulanga mnzako
- Thawirani pachibwenzi chomwe simukusangalalanso, kapena
- Muzimva chisangalalo.
2. Mvetsetsani zomwe mukufuna
Momwe mungalekere kubera? Mvetsetsani kuti kubera kumakhala pachibwenzi chotani. Ngati mukuganiza kuti mungathetse bwanji chigololo m'banja mwanga, yang'anani ukwati wanu bwino.
Funso lovuta kwambiri kufunsa sikuti mungaleke bwanji kubera mayeso; m'malo,
Chifukwa chiyani ndikusankha kukhala wonyenga?
Kodi kuonera kumakuthandizani kukhalabe muukwati wopanda chikondi, kapena ndi gawo limodzi loti muchoke?
Kodi kumwerekera ndi kubera njira yoti mukhalemo osasintha chilichonse muukwati womwewo, kapena ndi njira yodziwonetsera nokha kuti pali zambiri pamoyo ndikusiya zophweka?
Kodi mukuchita izi kuti mulange mnzanu chifukwa cha china chake, kapena mukuchita izi kuti mupeze zomwe mukuganiza kuti ndizosatheka m'banja?
Momwe mungalekere kubera?
Onaninso bwino mafunso awa, makamaka pankhani ya kusakhulupirika mobwerezabwereza m'banja. Mukamvetsetsa zomwe mukufuna, mutha kuyesa kuzikwaniritsa munjira ina m'malo mongobera.
3. Kuthetsa vutolo
Mukazindikira zomwe mukufuna kuchokera pachibwenzi, mutha kuyamba kuyesetsa kukwaniritsa. Kumvetsetsa chifukwa chake kukuwongolera zomwe mungatsatire.
Ngati mwakwiyira wokondedwa wanu, muyenera kulankhulana ndikugwira ntchito pokwiya. Yambani kugawana zambiri ndikukambirana pazinthuzi. Kufuna kwanu kulanga mnzanu kudzera mukuchita zachinyengo sikudzatha pokhapokha mutayankha chifukwa chomwe mumafunira kuwalanga poyamba.
Ngati mukufuna kuchoka ndipo simukuziwonanso kuti muli pachibwenzi, yambani kulingalira momwe mungayankhulire ndi nkhaniyi. Chifukwa chiyani simunakhale ndi mantha poyambira kuthetsa zinthu ndikusankha kubera?
Ngati mungasankhe kukhalabe muukwati ndipo muyenera kudziwa momwe mungasiyire kubera, yesetsani kumvetsetsa zomwe zikusowa muubwenzi wanu. Lankhulani ndi mnzanu kuti nonse mudzipereke kuti banja lanu likhale bwino. Kuthetsa mavuto omwe muli nawo, yesetsani kuthetsa kusamvana, ndikuwonetsani chisangalalo.
“Chitani zomwe mudachita pachibwenzi ndipo sipadzakhala kutha” -ANTHAWI ZABWINO
Kugwira ntchito pamavuto olumikizirana, nkhani zaubwenzi, komanso kuyambitsa chilimbikitso muubwenzi ndikofunikira. Sitikunena kuti zigwira ntchito 100%, koma zimapatsa banja lanu mwayi.
4. Imani ndi kakhalidwe kamene kamakupangitsani kunyenga
Anthu osiyanasiyana amawona kubera ngati zinthu zosiyanasiyana - kutumizirana mameseji, kutumizirana mameseji, kupsompsona, kugonana, ndi zina zambiri. Kodi inu ndi mnzanu mumapanga pati? Kudziwa izi kungakuthandizeni kupewa, osati kungodzinyenga nokha, komanso njira zomwe zingakupangitseni kubera.
Nenani kuti inu ndi mnzanuyo simukuwona kuti kuchita zachinyengo ndi kubera. Ngakhale zili choncho kwa inu, kodi mudaganizapo momwe zimathandizira pakubera? Zingakuthandizireni kuti muchite chigololo mofanana ndi kutumizirana zolaula.
Kudutsa malire kumapangitsa kukhala kosavuta kuwoloka gawo lotsatira, ndipo musanadziwe, mwina simukudziwa momwe mungalekere kubera. Dziwani chilichonse chomwe mungachite kuti muchite chibwenzi kuti muphunzire momwe mungapewere kubera.
Onani katswiri wodziwika bwino paubwenzi Ester Perel akupereka malingaliro ake mu Ted talk kuti mumve zambiri.
5. Ganizirani zogwira ntchito ndi katswiri
Ngati mukuganiza kuti mumakonda kunyenga mnzanuyo ndikudzifunsa momwe mungalekere kubera pachibwenzi changa, lingalirani zamankhwala amisala. Katswiri wophunzitsidwa akhoza kukuthandizani kuzindikira zomwe zimayambitsa, zomwe zimakupangitsani kuti muzichita zachinyengo ndikuthandizani kudziwa momwe mungapewere kubera. Kaya mukufuna kupitiriza chibwenzicho kapena kuchisiya, kukhala ndi wothandizirana nanu kudzakuthandizani kuti izi zikhale zosavuta komanso zopindulitsa.
Kuphatikiza apo, ngati mnzanu amadziwa za chibwenzicho ndipo akufuna kukhala limodzi, upangiri wa maanja ndiwofunika kuchipatala. Ngakhale nonse mutha kukhala ndi othandizira anu, ndizo Ndikofunika kuti wothandizira awiriwa akuthandizeni kuthana ndi mavuto omwe mwakumana nawo. Amatha kukuthandizani kuthana ndi zovuta zakusakhulupirika komwe kukukwiyitsani, kuthandizira kukhululukirana, kumvetsetsa zomwe zimayambitsa kusakhulupirika, komanso kulimbikitsa ubale kudzera kulumikizana.
Sinthani kuti musinthe
Palibe yankho limodzi momwe mungaberere. Zikadakhala zosavuta motero, palibe amene angachite. Kuphatikiza apo, kuphunzira momwe mungalekere kubera ndichinthu chomwe chimafuna njira zingapo komanso nthawi.
Kumvetsetsa chifukwa chake zimachitika nthawi zambiri ndichinthu choyamba komanso chofunikira kwambiri poletsa kubera. Kudziwa zomwe mukufuna kuchokera pachibwenzi komanso ngati mutha kuzipeza pakadali pano ndikofunikanso. Kodi nkhani yomwe ikukuthandizani ndi yotani? Kodi muyenera kukhala ndikumenyana kapena kuthetsa ukwati ndikupitirizabe?
Ngati mungaganize zokonza ukwati wanu, lankhulanani ndi mnzanu, ndikuphatikizanso katswiri wazamankhwala.
Palibe mayankho osavuta, koma ngati mugwira ntchito yofunikira, mutha kuwulula chifukwa chomwe mumayesedwa kuti mubere ndi momwe mungalekere kubera tsopano komanso mtsogolo.