Kira Asatryan ndi mtsogoleri wothandizirana naye komanso wolemba Lekani Kukhala Osungulumwa: Njira zitatu zosavuta kukhazikitsa anzanu apamtima komanso maubwenzi apamtima. Amalankhula nafe ku Marriage.com za buku lake, amawona kuyandikira ndikupereka malangizo amomwe mungakhalire osangalala.
Ukwati.com: Tiuzeni pang'ono za inu ndi buku lanu Lekani Kusungulumwa: Njira zitatu zosavuta kukhazikitsa anzanu apamtima
Kira Asatryan: Ndine wothandizira ubale wabwino wotsimikizika yemwe amagwira ntchito makamaka ndi maanja. Cholinga changa polemba Lekani Kusungulumwa anali kungoyankha ena mwa mafunso omwe amkandisowetsa mtendere m'moyo wanga. Momwemonso, ndimakhala ndikudzifunsa kuti: Chifukwa chiyani maubale anga ena amamva kuyandikira kuposa ena? Chifukwa chiyani ndimachoka pazomwe ndimakumana ndikusungulumwa, komanso momwe ena akumvera Zambiri wosungulumwa?
Momwe ndidazindikira ndikufufuza kambiri ndikudziyesa, yankho lidali loti maubwenzi anga ena anali ndi zambiri kuyandikira mwa iwo - ndipo chofunikira ichi chidapangitsa ubale kukhala wabwino. "Kuyandikira," monga momwe ndikutanthauzira, ndikumverera kwakumverera anamvetsetsa (kudzera mu "kudziwa") ndi wamtengo wapatali (kudzera mu "kusamalira").
Ukwati.com: Maganizo anu ndi otani pankhani yosungulumwa m'banja? Kodi maanja ayenera kuchita chiyani kuti athane ndi nkhaniyi?
Kira Asatryan: Wokondedwa akakhala wosungulumwa m'banja, ndichifukwa chosowa kuyandikana. Zikutanthauza kuti anthu awiriwa sangamvetsetsane bwino (samamvetsetsana), zosowa zawo, maloto awo, mantha awo, ndi zina zambiri) kapena sakusonyeza kusamalirana kokwanira (monga umboni wa: chidwi mwa munthu winayo, kuchita nawo zinthu, kukhazikitsa nawo moyo wabwino, ndikuwonetsa chikondi ndi chithandizo). Gawo loyamba, ndinganene, kuthana ndi kusungulumwa m'banja ndikuwona ngati kusowa kwaubwenzi kuli mbali ya "kudziwa" kapena "yosamalira".
Ukwati.com: Ndi upangiri wanji womwe mungapatse anthu kuti apange kulumikizana kokwanira komanso kozama m'mbali zonse za moyo wawo?
Kira Asatryan: Gawo loyamba pakupanga kulumikizana kokwanira komanso kozama m'mbali zonse za moyo wanu ndikuwona yemwe pamoyo wanu angakhale "mnzake wapamtima" wabwino. Nthawi zambiri uyu ndi wokwatirana naye, amathanso kukhala wachibale, mnzanu, kapena wina akhoza kukhala ndi zibwenzi zingapo. “Mnzanu wapamtima” wabwino ndi amene angawoneke kuti akufuna kukuyandikirani, amatha kugawana zidziwitso za iwo eni, amatha kumvetsera ndikusunga chidziwitso chokhudza inu, ndipo amadziwa bwino momwe angaperekere ndikusamalira .
Ukwati.com: Nchiyani chomwe chiyenera kuchitidwa ngati wina akufuna kukulitsa kuyandikira koma winayo akuchoka? Kodi munthu amachita chiyani akakumana ndi zopwetekazo?
Kira Asatryan: Ili ndi funso labwino!
Mukayamba kuzindikira kuti wina akukuchokani, mwachibadwa mumakhala osokonezeka ndikudzifunsa zomwe zikuchitika. Chinthu choyamba kuchita sindikuchita mantha. Ikhoza kukulitsa vutoli pazifukwa zambiri. Choyamba, zingakupangitseni kuti muchite zinthu zomwe zikuwoneka ngati zopanda nzeru ndikukuyikani pachiwopsezo chokwaniritsa chibwenzicho kuposa chabwino. Chachiwiri, pakuchita momwe mumachitira, mnzanuyo amakhala ndi mwayi woti atulutse nkhawa zanu ndikukutchulani kuti "çrazy". Muziganizira zenizeni ndi kumvetsa momwe inu mwatanthauzira zomwe iwo anachita.
Mpatseni munthuyo kwakanthawi ndikukonzekera zomwe angafotokozere. Pamapeto pake, ngati akupitilizabe kukupewani, ndizotheka kuti chibwenzicho chitha. Munthawi yovutayi, mutonthozedwe podziwa kuti mwayendetsa bwino vutoli.
Ukwati.com: Kodi ndi malangizo amtundu wanji omwe mungapatse aliyense kuti akhalebe achimwemwe?
Kira Asatryan: Ngati mukulimbana ndi kusungulumwa kapena kukhumudwa chifukwa chosowa maubale abwino pamoyo wanu, chinthu choyamba chomwe ndingakulangizeni ndi kusiya kudziimba mlandu. Pali zifukwa zambiri zachilengedwe chifukwa maubwenzi ndi ovuta masiku ano kuposa kale (ukadaulo, malo okhala, ndi zina zambiri), ndikudziimba mlandu ("Ndine wamanyazi kwambiri," "Ndiyenera kuyesetsa kwambiri," ndi zina zambiri .) zidzakusungani m'malo osasangalala. M'malo mwake, khulupirirani kuti ndinu munthu wamtengo wapatali yemwe muyenera kukondedwa ndi kuyandikira, ndipo kusungulumwa ndimavuto kunja kwa inu omwe mutha kuchotsedwa kwathunthu. Lekani Kusungulumwa ikuwonetsani momwe mungachitire izi.