Zamkati
- Frank, wazaka 43, amadzidalira chifukwa chodziwa kupanga maluso, koma sizinali choncho nthawi zonse
- Mary, 39, adatenga nthawi yayitali kuphunzira za kupanga chikondi ndikuchita zinthu moyenera
- Walter, wazaka 50, wapereka moyo wake wonse kukhala wokonda kwambiri
- Mark, wazaka 49, amalankhula za pomwe adamvetsetsa zomwe zimakangana
Mbalame zimachita, njuchi zimachita, ngakhale nthata zophunzitsidwa zimachita - Cole Porter anali kuyimba zakukondana, koma mawu ake amathanso kugwira ntchito popanga chikondi.
Kupanga chikondi ndichimodzi mwazinthu zofunikira kwambiri pamitundu yonse.
Mwakutero, mungaganize kuti zingakhale zosavuta, zowoneka bwino, zopanda pake, sichoncho? Ndipo ndi, kapena itha kukhala. Koma tonsefe nthawi zina timakayikira ngati tili odziwa bwino ntchitoyo. Timadandaula zakusangalala kwa anzathu ndipo ngati tikuwatembenuza. Timadandaula za momwe timagwirira ntchito. Tikufuna kukhala okonda abwino komanso owolowa manja.
Tiyeni tikambirane ndi anthu ena omwe adzipereka kuti agawane zomwe akumana nazo pankhaniyi, yachinsinsi kwambiri komanso yosangalatsa pamadongosolo, nafe.
Frank, wazaka 43, amadzidalira chifukwa chodziwa kupanga maluso, koma sizinali choncho nthawi zonse
Mukudziwa, mukangoyamba kumene, ndikuganiza tonsefe anyamata sitimadziwa zoyenera kuchita ndi abwenzi athu. Ndimakumbukira zochitika zanga zogonana ndi chibwenzi changa. Tidali okalamba kusukulu yasekondale ndipo "timakhala okhazikika" monga amachitchulira pamenepo kwa miyezi isanu ndi umodzi.
Ndakhala ndikufuna kuchita naye zogonana kuyambira tsiku loyamba, motero pomaliza adati chabwino, ndimakhala ngati kavalo wotulutsidwa pachipata.
Ndikuganiza kuti zomwe zidachitikazi zidakhala ngati masekondi 30. Ndinadabwa ndikumverera. Koma zachidziwikire, sanachite chidwi. Koma nthawi yotsatira yomwe tidachita, zinali zabwinoko pang'ono, ndipo momwe timapangira zochulukirapo ndinayamba kuzipeza bwino.
Komabe, tinali achichepere ndipo sitinkadziwa kwenikweni za momwe zinthu zimagwirira ntchito. Sizinali mpaka nditakula, monga 35 kapena apo, pomwe ndidayamba kuyang'ana kwambiri pazomwe mnzanga adakumana nazo osati zanga.
Tsopano ndili pabanja, ndipo mkazi wanga adzakuwuzani kuti ndine wabwino, wokonda. Timadziwana bwino matupi a wina ndi mnzake komanso momwe tingatsegukirane. Osati kuti ndichizolowezi chilichonse, ayi!
Timasewera pabedi, ndipo nthawi zonse timayang'ana zinthu zatsopano kuyesa kununkhiza makondedwe athu.
Mary, 39, adatenga nthawi yayitali kuphunzira za kupanga chikondi ndikuchita zinthu moyenera
Ndinakulira m'banja lomwe silinkalankhula zogonana. Ndinapitanso kusukulu yachikatolika ndipo sindinaphunzitsidwe zakugonana. Zowonadi, njira yokhayo yomwe ndimadziwira momwe ana amapangidwira ndikuwona agalu athu atakwatirana tsiku lina.
Izi sizinandipatse chithunzi chabwino pakupanga chikondi!
Ndikuganiza kuti ndinaponderezedwa kwambiri ndipo mwina sindinali bwino ndi zibwenzi zanga zoyambirira. Ndinali namwali nditakwatirana ndili ndi zaka 21, monganso mwamuna wanga. Tinakhala ndi ukwati wamanyazi usiku. Sanathe kumangika pomwepo, ndipo pomalizira pake, kulowera kunandipweteka kwambiri kotero kuti sindinathe kupitiliza.
Tinaganiza kuti tikufunika thandizo lakunja ndipo tidagula mabuku angapo ogonana ndikuwerenga.
Izi zinatithandiza kwambiri.
Zomwe tidakhulupirirana zidatilola kuti tizigonana kotero kuti kupanga kwathu kukhale kosangalatsa tonsefe. Tsopano timatengedwa ngati "banja lowopsa kwambiri" mgulu lathu lamatchalitchi!
Timagwiritsa ntchito zoseweretsa zakugonana, monga kuyang'ana makanema olaula, ndipo timakhala akapolo pang'ono nthawi ndi nthawi. Ndinganene kuti ndili ndi zaka zopepuka kuchokera kwa mtsikana wamanyazi, woopa kugonana yemwe ndidali pomwe ndimayesa kupanga zibwenzi.
Walter, wazaka 50, wapereka moyo wake wonse kukhala wokonda kwambiri
Kupanga chikondi ndi, kwa ine, luso.
Nthawi zonse ndimakhala wokondweretsedwa ndi chinthu chonse, kuyambira kupsompsona koyamba mpaka kunyengerera wokondedwa wanga, kutsalira, nkhani yonse. Ndipo ndikofunikira kuti ndiwoneke ngati wokonda wabwino.
Zimatanthauza chiyani? Zikutanthauza kuti ndimamuwonadi, kumuyamikira komanso kumumvera mnzanga. Pogona ndi kunja kwa kama. Koma makamaka pakama. Sindimachita manyazi kumufunsa zomwe amakonda ngati ali ndi ma taboos omwe sitiyenera kuchita, malingaliro aliwonse omwe angafune kuti afufuze bwinobwino ndi ine.
Amayi akuwoneka kuti amayamikira kalembedwe kanga ka chikondi chifukwa ndimawalola kuti azitseguka nane.
Izi zimangochitika, zachidziwikire, chifukwa ndimagwira ntchito kuti ndikhale ndi mgwirizano wolimba ndi atsikana anzanga tisanagone. Kugonana pogonana kunali kwabwino ndili mwana.
Koma kupanga zopanga ndi kulumikizana kwabwino, kwamphamvu ndiko kwabwino kwambiri. Zimatilola tonse awiri kukhala omasuka kwathunthu komanso omasuka pazochitikazo, zomwe ndizofunikira kuti tipeze ziphuphu zabwino zomwe tingakhale nazo.
Mark, wazaka 49, amalankhula za pomwe adamvetsetsa zomwe zimakangana
Ndinakwatira bwenzi langa la kusekondale. Ndiye mkazi yekhayo amene ndidagonanapo naye.
Sanakonde zogonana kwambiri, ndipo ndimazilemekeza motero sindinayese kumutsimikizira kuti zinthu zitha kusintha. Kodi ndimadziwa chiyani? Ndinali ndi chidziwitso cha zero.
Patatha zaka 26 tili m'banja, tinasudzulana. Kenako ndidakumana ndikukondana ndi mkazi yemwe amakondadi kugonana. Ndikutanthauza, amamukonda kwambiri.
Anali womasuka kwathunthu ndi thupi lake, nthawi zonse amafuna kuyesa zinthu zatsopano kuti ziwonjezere chisangalalo chathu. Linali dziko latsopano kwa ine, ine amene nthawi zonse ndimayenera kutsimikizira mkazi wanga wakale kuti kupanga chikondi ndi gawo la banja lathu.
Anandiphunzitsa momwe tingapangire chikondi, munthawi yonseyi. Momwe sizinali zosowa zakuthupi zokha, koma chidziwitso chenicheni, chachikondi pomwe panalibe manyazi pakati pa akulu omwe amavomereza. Ndimathokoza nyenyezi zanga zabwino tsiku lililonse chifukwa chomuika mayiyu panjira yanga.