Zikwati Zikufuna Mgwirizano Osati Chilolezo

Zamkati

• Anthu amakwatirana pazifukwa zambiri
• Kodi cookie imasweka kuti?
• Momwe tidalili
• Malangizo athu oti "Mungakwatiwe ndi ine?"

Tsiku lina ndidakambirana zosangalatsa ndi mwana wanga wamwamuna wazaka 10, yemwe posachedwa adachita chidwi ndi zida chifukwa cha otsogola onse omwe amawona atawanyamula. Adandifunsa funso labwino kwambiri lomwe linali "amayi ndi mfuti zoyipa" pomwe ndidamuyankha ndikuti mfuti sizoyipa mwa iwo eni, koma ziyikeni m'manja olakwika, ndipo pali njira yodzetsa tsoka. Zomwe mukusowa ndi chiphaso chonyamula chida. Ndipo monga tatsimikizidwira kowawa m'mbuyomu, chiphaso ndi chiphaso chabe, osati chitsogozo chogwiritsa ntchito chitsulo chomwe chimapha. Zofanana, koma zowerengera kwambiri ndikukhulupirira kuti ndilo lingaliro laukwati. Pomwe munthu atha kulowa mu City Hall ndikukwatiwa mu mphindi 10 zaka zingapo zapitazo, tsopano ali ndi njira yapaintaneti pomwe polipira chindapusa, mutha kulandira chiphaso chaukwati nthawi yomweyo; zosavuta! Ayi, sichoncho, pamene muyenera kusintha njirayi ....

Anthu amakwatirana pazifukwa zambiri

Pali zifukwa zambiri zomwe zimapangitsa anthu kukwatirana. Ena amakwatirana chifukwa cha chikondi, ena amakwatirana chifukwa chopeza ndalama, ena amakwatirana chifukwa chaudindo wawo, ena akwatiwa kuti akule bwino pantchito, ena akwatira kuti akhale ndi banja lomwe analibe, ena amakwatira chifukwa akuona kuti akuyenera kutero, ndi ena. Atatha kuthetsa mikangano pafupifupi Zaka 20, ndawona ukwati wa mawonekedwe osiyanasiyana, ndipo sindiweruza.

Kodi cookie imasweka kuti?

Komabe, mosasamala nthawi, chikhalidwe, kapena zaka, chinthu chimodzi chomwe maukwati onse amafunika kuti akhale olimba, ndiubwenzi wokondana. Kumvetsetsa kuti ndikakupatsani A, nditha kuyembekezera kupeza B. Zikumveka zosavuta, koma sichoncho. Maukwati ambiri amalephera chifukwa awiriwo sangakhale limodzi. Mwanjira ina, mnzake sangathe kumvetsetsa kuti mnzake wamukwatira chifukwa amamukonda, ndipo winayo akumvetsetsa kuti avomerezedwa ndi banja chifukwa amakhala ndi nyumba yabwino, wodalirika, komanso wabwino ana ndipo amatha kukhala ndi flings pambali. Kapenanso, akuganiza kuti ndi okwatirana chifukwa amakondedwa chifukwa cha momwe alili, koma ali ndi malingaliro andalama zawo ndipo amukwatira chifukwa ndiwokwaniritsa zosowa zake.

Momwe tidalili

Zaka mazana ambiri zapitazo, kuzungulira padziko lonse lapansi, kuphatikiza Asia, Middle East ndi Europe pomwe panali wofunsira wina, zifukwa zaukwatiwo zidatchulidwa chimodzimodzi monga bizinesi. Mwachitsanzo, mwina ukwatiwo uyenera kubweretsa mtendere m'maiko awiriwo, kapena umalola kuti banja lipitilize ndi zotsatira zake, kapena udabweretsa chikhalidwe ndi chitetezo kumzinda ndi zina zambiri.

Sindikunena kuti ine ndikuchirikiza chilichonse mwazifukwazi kapena kuwalimbikitsa. Komabe, chowonadi ndichakuti, masiku ano, maukwati ambiri ndi maubale omwe amatembenukira kumaukwati ndizosangalatsa kwambiri. Iwo ndi mtambo wosokonezeka woyandikira, wothamangitsidwa mopanda nzeru; Chilakolako chimasokonezedwa ndi chikondi, ndi mgwirizano wopanda phindu kapena maziko olimba. Ndi makanema otchuka pa TV, monga momwe mungakwatirane ndi Miliyoneya, The Bachelor, Wokwatirana pakuwona koyamba, Wife Swap, gulu la Desperate Housewives, The Ninety Day Fiancé etc. sizosadabwitsa kuti tasokonezeka! Apanso, sindine pano kuti ndiweruze. Ngati wina amakhulupirira chikondi poyamba pomwe akufuna kukwatiwa ndi amene amamukonda pomwepo, ndipo ali bwino kukhala ndi mkazi wopambana, zili bwino mwanjira zonse. Koma wokondedwa sungadabwe mukapeza zomwe mumapeza, chitseko chikatsegulidwa ku bokosi la Pandora kapena magetsi akazima.

Ena atha kunena kuti zaka 50 kapena zingapo zapitazo, pamene ma baby boomers anali atangokwatirana kumene, panalibe maubale okhalitsa kwakanthawi ndipo mitengo yosudzulana inali yotsika kwambiri. Zowonadi zake ndizakuti, chifukwa anthu amakhala limodzi, sizitanthauza kuti zinthu zikuyenda bwino.

Malangizo athu oti "Mungakwatiwe ndi ine?"

Mu positiyi, ndikukupemphani kuti muganizire za mgwirizano waukwati ngati mukuganiza zopititsa ubale wanu pa sitepe yotsatira kapena ngati mwakumana ndi chikondi chimenecho poyamba pomwe mukufuna kumangiriza. Kodi mumadziwa kuti zaka zana limodzi zapitazo, boma lisanalowe m'banja, ndipo panali ziphaso zaukwati, panali maukwati? Ndiko komwe lingaliro la dowry, limachokera. Zipembedzo zosiyanasiyana komanso mayiko osiyanasiyana, ali ndi matchulidwe osiyanasiyana kwa iwo. Katuba mu Chiyuda, kapena Katb-el-Ketab mu Chisilamu, kapena Masakramenti Achihindu ndi mitundu yonse yakale yamalamulo okwatirana kuposa chilolezo chokwatirana ndipo ali ndi zofunikira zosiyanasiyana. Ngakhale zimakhudzidwa kwambiri ndi zachuma komanso kulepheretsa amayi kupeza ndalama, zipembedzo zambiri zimalamula kuti akhale ndi mgwirizano wachipembedzo ndi atsogoleri achipembedzo, pomwe onse awiri adagwirizana zovomerezekazo asanapite paulendo.

Sindikupangira mgwirizano wazachuma; ngakhale ndikukhulupirira kuti malowa akuyenera kuphimbidwa ndi mgwirizano poganizira kuti ndichofala kwambiri chothetsa banja. Koma kodi mumadziwa kuti mosiyana ndi zomwe ambiri amaganiza, maukwati osakwatirana sindiwo chifukwa chachikulu kusudzulana? Inde, zochitika kunja kwaukwati, nkhani zandalama ndizizindikiro koma osati zomwe zimayambitsa. Kutengera mavoti ambiri, choyambitsa chimodzi choyambitsa ndi malingaliro olakwika chifukwa cholumikizana bwino. Chifukwa chake, zomwe ndikupempha ndi mgwirizano wopindulitsa, pomwe onse awiri afotokozere momveka bwino zolinga zawo zokwatirana, chifukwa chake ziyembekezo zawo kuchokera kwa okwatirana. Mgwirizanowu mwachidziwikire udzafunikiridwa asanakwatirane osati pambuyo pake chifukwa panthawiyo, zoyembekezera zilizonse zidzalephera.

Nawa madera 11 akulu omwe akuyenera kuphatikizidwa mu mgwirizano wamphamvu waukwati:

1. Makonzedwe antchito

• Kodi padzakhala wopezera ndalama woyamba kapena onse mbali zonse zikuthandizira ndalama zofananira
• Kodi padzakhala akaunti yolumikizana, akaunti yolumikizana ndi akaunti yothandizira payokha, kapena maakaunti osiyana okha?
• Maola antchito. Maola angati pa sabata osankhidwa kuti agwire ntchito ndiolandiridwa. Dera ili liphatikizanso kuyenda komanso ngati onse awiri akugwirizana ndi nthawi yoyendera.
• Pakakhala kudwala, kuchotsedwa ntchito kapena kuchotsedwa ntchito, ana, mavuto am'banja, matenda amisala, pomwe mnzake sangathe kugwira ntchito, ziyembekezo zake ndi ziti?

2. Nkhani zapakhomo

• Ndani amayang'anira kuphika
• Ndani amayang'anira ntchito yoyeretsa
• Ndani amayang'anira zochapa zovala
• Ndani akuyang'anira kugula
• Yemwe amayang'anira kukonza
• Ndani akuyang'anira kulipira ngongole

3. Zosangalatsa

• Ndi zosangalatsa ziti zomwe munthu aliyense ali nazo zomwe angafune kuti azipatula ali yekha akuchita
• Ndi zosangalatsa ziti zomwe banjali limakhala limodzi zomwe angafune kucheza limodzi
• Ndi ndalama zingati zomwe amapeza omwe angawononge pazinthu zawo zosangalatsa
• Adzawononga maola angati pa sabata / pamwezi pazinthu zawo zosangalatsa
• Zomwe zingadziwe ngati chizolowezi chayamba kuchita zambiri ndikusokoneza mbali zina za moyo

4. Kugonana

• Kangati pa sabata amaonedwa ngati moyo wathanzi wogonana
• Ndi zikhalidwe ziti zovomerezeka ndi zosavomerezeka zogonana zomwe anthu awiriwa ali nazo limodzi komanso payekha
• Kodi kukhala ndi mkazi m'modzi yekha ndiyofunika kapena mwina
• Momwe mungasungire chilakolako chamoyo ndikukhala osaganizira ena (monga ukhondo, kulemera, ulemu, kutopa, ndi zina zambiri)

5. Kuwononga ndalama

• Kodi ndalama zimasankhidwa bwanji? Kodi onse awiri azichita nawo bajeti kapena padzakhala wosankha?
• Bwanji ngati gawo limodzi la ndalama zomwe mumapeza mwezi uliwonse zomwe mungagwiritse ntchito mwakugula zikugula motsutsana ndi "Ndikufuna" kugula
• Kodi banjali lipeza bwanji zomwe zikuyenera kuchitidwa mwachangu ndi zomwe sizofunika kugula mwachangu?

6. Kodi banjali likufuna ana

• Ngati ndi choncho kangati komanso liti
• Ndani akhale woyang'anira wamkulu wa ana ndipo ngati onse ali, ntchito zosiyanasiyana monga kudyetsa, kuyeretsa, kulanga, maphunziro, zochitika, kuyendera kwa Madokotala, masiku osewera, ndi zina zambiri zidzagawidwa bwanji.
• Ngati pali matenda omwe samalola kuti banja likhale ndi ana, ndi njira yanji yomwe adagwirizana. '

7. Kuyenda

• Ndi gawo liti la ndalama zomwe muyenera kusankha kuti muziyenda
• Kangati pachaka mudzakhala mukuyenda
• Kodi kuyenda kudzaphatikizapo onse awiri kapena m'modzi mwa mabanjawo?
• Kodi malo omwe amapitako amasankhidwa bwanji?

8. Zachinsinsi

• Zomwe zidzafotokozedwe za miyoyo yawo limodzi kapena payekhapayekha
• Adzatembenukira kwa ndani nthawi yamavuto

9. Achibale ndi Achibale

• Ndi nthawi yochuluka bwanji yomwe banjali payekhapayekha komanso / kapena limodzi amakhala ndi achibale pamwezi kapena sabata
• Atani kapena asachite nawo chiyani kapena abale awo

10. Moyo Wachikhalidwe

• Yemwe akukonzekera masiku ausiku
• Yemwe amakonzekera zochitika zapa banja
• Ndi nthawi yochuluka bwanji pa sabata yomwe aliyense amafunika kuti azicheza ndi abwenzi, netiweki, mabizinesi, ndi zina zambiri.
• Ndi ndalama zingati zomwe banjali liziwononga pamwezi
• Kuchedwa mochedwa kumawonedwa kuti ndikochedwa kuti tisamacheza

11. Nthawi za mikangano

• Momwe mungasankhire nthawi yakufunsa munthu wina
• Kodi phungu ndi ndani (waluso kapena ayi) omwe banjali lingapite kukafunikira
• Zoyenera kuchita mukakwiya
• Momwe mungalumikizirane ndi zomwe munganene kuti mupewe kusiya munthuyo kapena vutolo

Inde, payenera kukhala chinthu chodabwitsa muukwati. Inde, payenera kukhala kutseguka kwa zokumana nazo, ndipo inde chikondi chimatanthauza kuvomereza. Koma simungalandire zomwe simukuzidziwa. Ndipo sikukuvomera koma kukakamiza kapena kumva kuti mukukakamizidwa ngati mukukumana ndi chowonadi osati kale koma mutanena kuti "Ndimatero".