Zamkati
- 1. Amatopetsa
- 2. Amasungulumwa
- 3. Ali pachibwenzi chomuzunza
- 4. Kubwezera kugonana
- 5. Sadzidalira
- 6. Ali paukwati osagonana
- 7. Akudzaza chosowa m'maganizo
- 8. Chifukwa amatha
Kodi mumakayikira kuti mkazi wanu sakhulupirika 100%? Kafukufuku wa maanja omwe amagonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha adapeza kuti 19% ya azimayi omwe ali pachibwenzi chachikulu akuti ananamizira anzawo. Ziwerengero zikuwonetsa kuti ngakhale amayi omwe amati ali pamaukwati achimwemwe amavomerezabe kutenga wokondedwa kumbali.
Ngakhale ndi chiwerengerochi chofufuzidwa bwino, amayi samadziwikabe kuti ndiabodza momwe amuna amakhalira. Kodi ndichifukwa choti amayi nthawi zambiri amabera mwachikondi m'malo mwa masewera, kapena kodi ali bwino pobisalira? Mayankho angakhale odabwitsa.
Nazi zifukwa 8 zomwe amai amabera
1. Amatopetsa
Maanja amakonda kudutsa pamapiri ndi zigwa mukamakwatirana. Kukhala muubwenzi wanthawi yayitali, wodzipereka kumatanthauza kuti muli ndi munthu yemweyo tsiku ndi tsiku. Ngakhale izi zimabweretsa zikhalidwe zabwino m'moyo monga kukhazikika, kukhazikika, ndi chikondi, zitha kupangitsanso ena kukhala otopetsa, nthawi zina, ndi ubalewo.
Maganizo oterewa amabwera muubwenzi uliwonse. Koma, akakhudzidwa ndi zinthu zina monga kusamvana m'banja, mkazi akhoza kukopeka kuti ayambitse kena kake kunja kwa banja lake. Atha kuwona kuti iyi ndi njira yokometsera moyo wake, kukhala ndi china chake chosangalatsa kuyembekezera kapena atha kunena kuti akuchita izi "kupulumutsa banja" podzipangira yekha kanthu.
2. Amasungulumwa
Pomwe mkazi amatha kupatukana ndi banja lake kuti azisangalala, zifukwa zakusakhulupirika kwa amayi ndizomwe zimakhudzidwa. Chifukwa chimodzi ndi kusungulumwa. Ngati mwamuna kapena mkazi wake amakhala akugwira ntchito, kucheza ndi anzawo, kapena kutopa kwambiri kuti angamupatse chikondi komanso kumulimbikitsa, mayesero ake oti abere amakula.
Kunyalanyazidwa kapena kugonana ndi mkazi kapena mwamuna wanu kumamupangitsa kuti akhale wosungulumwa komanso wokhumudwa. Izi zimatha kupangitsa mkazi kufunafuna chilimbikitso komanso kukhudzana ndi kwina kulikonse.
3. Ali pachibwenzi chomuzunza
Sizikunena kuti ngati mkazi ali pachibwenzi chazunzo kaya m'maganizo kapena mwakuthupi, sangakhale wokhulupirika.
Okwatirana omwe amamulamulira komanso kumuzunza amatha kugwetsa mzimayi ndikumupangitsa kuti azimva ngati kuti sali woyenera chilichonse. Izi, mwachilengedwe, zimamupangitsa kuti apeze chikondi, ulemu, ndi kuvomerezeka kunja kwa banja.
4. Kubwezera kugonana
Kubwezera-kugonana ndi mwatsoka, chifukwa chofala cha kusakhulupirika kwa amayi. Kupeza kuti mkazi kapena mwamuna wake ndiwosakhulupirika ndikopweteketsa mtima kwa mkazi komanso kudzikweza kwake, kotero atha kuyang'ana zogonana kunja kwa chibwenzi ngati njira yochotsera zowawa zake. Kapena, ampatseni chidaliro.
Ngati mayi atazindikira kuti wokondedwa wake akuchita chiwerewere, amathanso kubera mayeso kuti apweteketse mkazi wake momwe amamukhumudwitsira. Amatha kusankha munthu wapabanja kuti agonane naye, monga m'bale wawo kapena mnzake wapamtima, kuti awapweteketse.
5. Sadzidalira
Ngakhale ndichabechabe komanso chosazolowereka, chifukwa chimodzi cha kusakhulupirika kwa amayi chimakhudzana ndi kudzidalira kwake.
Pali kukakamizidwa kwambiri kuti akazi azitsatira miyezo yokongola ya anthu. Izi zitha kumpangitsa kudzidalira kukhala chinthu chosalimba, makamaka ngati satengera thupi loonda kapena lovomerezeka la ola limodzi lolimbikitsidwa muma media.
Ngakhale mnzake wokondana akatsimikizire kangati mkazi wake kuti amakopeka naye, iye angangolakalaka kuti amve kuchokera kwa wina. Ayenera kudzimva kuti ndiwofunika kukhala mkazi ndipo atha kufunafuna zogonana kunja kwa banja lake kuti athetse nkhawa zake.
6. Ali paukwati osagonana
Ukwati wopanda kugonana ndiwokhumudwitsa onse. Wina akukhala ndi chilakolako chogonana komanso chilakolako chogwirizana ndi chilakolako, pomwe winayo amamva kukakamizidwa kuti azichita zachiwerewere pomwe sakufuna.
Kafukufuku wopangidwa ndi wolemba Stephen Davidowich adapeza kuti mawu oti "ukwati wosagonana" amafunsidwa pakusaka kwa Google ndi ogwiritsa ntchito 21,000 mwezi uliwonse. Ziwerengerozi ndizodabwitsa, zotsatira zakusaka uku zikumenya mawu ena odziwika ngati "banja losasangalala". Kukhala muukwati wopanda chiwerewere kumakhala ndi mavuto ambiri m'banja, kuphatikizapo kusakhulupirika.
Sitiyenera kudabwitsidwa kuti, chifukwa chomwe azimayi amabera chifukwa cha kusowa kogonana pachibwenzi, Khalani kugonana kosakhutiritsa, kugonana kosakhudzidwa, kapena kukhala pachibwenzi.
7. Akudzaza chosowa m'maganizo
Pali zambiri kuonera kuposa kugonana kunja kwa chipinda chogona. Amayi ambiri amafuna kuchita zinthu zosokoneza ukwati. Maubale ndi okhudza chikondi, kuyanjana, ulemu, ndi kukhulupirirana. Ngati mzimayi akumva ngati kuti sakumukonda kapena kumukonda mokwanira bwenzi lake amakhala osochera kunja kwa banja. Zochitika pamtima, kapena "zochitika mumtima" zimaphatikizapo kudzaza zosowa zam'malingaliro kapena zamaganizidwe a munthu wina osati mnzanu.
Ngakhale kubera m'malingaliro nthawi zambiri kumaphatikizapo kuuza munthu wina mseri momwe mungachitire ndi mnzanu, zitha kuphatikizaponso nkhani zonyansa, lonjezo la chibwenzi chamtsogolo, kusinthanitsa zithunzi zosayenera ndipo zitha kuchititsa chibwenzi.
8. Chifukwa amatha
Zinthu ndizopweteka kwa wina amene mumamukonda, ndipo chisokonezo chomwe chibwenzi chimatha chifukwa chakuwononga osati okwatirana okha koma achibale komanso ana omwe akukhudzidwa. Komabe, mofanana ndi amuna, akazi ena amachita zosakhulupirika chifukwa choti angathe kapena chifukwa choti chisankhocho chapezeka. Amayi ambiri amaganiza kuti chibwenzi ndi chotentha, chosangalatsa, ndipo amazigwiritsa ntchito ngati njira yokhutira kapena akhoza kuthamangira ku mahomoni ndi dopamine yotulutsidwa mwachinsinsi.
Maganizo Omaliza
Kusakhulupirika kwa amayi kumafala monga kubera amuna - amangobisala bwino. Chowonadi ndichakuti, amayi amabera pazifukwa zomwe amuna amachita: kusungulumwa, kunyong'onyeka, kudzimva osakondedwa kapena kusayamikiridwa, kapena chifukwa mwayi ulipo.