Zamkati
Ndakhala ndikugwira ntchito ndi maanja pazolumikizana kwazaka zambiri. Kuthandiza anthu kuti azilankhula bwino limodzi ndikumva kuti akumvetsetsa kumatha kuthandizira kwambiri kukonza maubale. Pali lingaliro limodzi lomwe lakhalapo kuyambira ma 1950 lomwe maanja ambiri akuwoneka kuti akugwirizana nthawi yomweyo. Amatchedwa "Transactional Analysis." Zimapita monga chonchi ...
Wokondedwa # 1 - "Simundithandiza kuti ndizitsuka pano! Ndikudwala nazo.! ”
Mnzanu # 2 - "Sindingathenso kumangondivutitsa nthawi zonse!" ... amachoka, akumenyetsa chitseko.
Chikuchitika ndi chiani apa? Malinga ndi Transactional Analysis, tonse tili ndi malo atatu omwe timachokera mkati mwathu polankhula ndi munthu wina. Ndiwo malo a MAKOLO, malo a MWANA ndi malo AAKULU ... ndipo tonsefe timalowa ndikutuluka m'malingaliro awa tsiku lonse.
Tikubwera kuchokera kumalo athu MAKOLO pamene timva mawu akutuluka m'kamwa mwathu monga "Uyenera ..." "Simuna ..." "Nthawi zonse ..." "Mukuyenera ..." Malingaliro awa set zimachokera pazomwe tidamva makolo athu akutiuza, malamulo, malamulo azikhalidwe, ndi zina zambiri.
Tili aang'ono, tinkachita tikamalankhulidwa motere. Monga akulu, tikamenya, kufuula, kukhala opanduka, kapena kutseka tikubwera kuchokera kwathu kwa MWANA. Tengani kanthawi koganizira momwe mudachitira mukapanikizika mukadali mwana. Onani zofananira zilizonse ndimomwe mumachitira ndi mnzanu wamkulu?
Mukudziwa, chinthu chodabwitsa chimachitika tikamalankhula ndi munthu wina. Alinso ndi malo atatu mkati momwe amachokera kukambirana, ndipo kulumikizana ndikulosera. Wina akamachita mawu a MAKOLO mwangozi zimamupangitsa mnzakeyo kuti asachite dala kuchokera kwa mwana wawo. Onani chitsanzo chathu pamwambapa.
Mnzanu # 1 akuchokera momveka bwino kuchokera kumawu AWO MAKOLO. “Simundithandiza konse kuyeretsa kuno!” Akachita izi Wokwatirana # 2 amachokera kumalo awo ANA. "Sindingathenso kumangondivutitsa nthawi zonse!" ... akuchoka, ndikumenya chitseko.
Kodi tingatani?
Tikangodutsa zaka 18 tsopano ndife akulu akulu. Mwamwayi, tili ndi malo ACHIKULU mkati mwathu. Liwu Lathu LABWINO ndilo lomwe timakonda kugwiritsa ntchito kuntchito kapena polankhula ndi akatswiri amtundu wina. Liwu Lathu LABWINO ndi lodekha, losamalira, lothandizira komanso limalankhula zosowa.
Kubetcha kwathu kopambana, pokambirana ndi mnzathu za zomwe zikutivutitsa, ndikulankhula WAKULU KWA AKULU. Timakambirana kuchokera pamalo osowa ndikuyesera kupeza yankho lomwe lingathandize anthu onsewa. Tiyeni tibwerere ku chitsanzo chathu kuti tiwone njira imodzi yomwe awiriwa angakambirane za nyumba yovuta ACHIKULU mpaka AAKULU.
Mnzanu # 1 – “Wokondedwa, ndimadzimva nditathedwa nzeru ndikamapita m'nyumba ndikamaliza ntchito ndipo pali zidole pansi ponse. Komanso mbale kuyambira m'mawa sizinachitike. Zimandivuta kwambiri! Kodi mungalole kuyesetsa kukakamiza ana kuti atenge zidole zawo ndi kutsuka mbale kuchokera pachakudya ndisanafike kunyumba madzulo? ”
Mnzanu # 2 – “Pepani mukumva kuti mwatopa. Nthawi zina ndimadzitopetsa ndi zonse zomwe zikuchitika kuno kuti ndimvetse. Ndingakhale wofunitsitsa kuyesa kuti ana atenge zidole zawo, koma mwina ndi ntchito yomwe ikuchitika. Mwina ungandithandizire kukonza mbale zodyera m'mawa, ndikadzipangira wekha m'mawa ndiyeno ndikakatsala ndikazakugwirira ntchito zotsalazo? ”
Kuyankhulana wina ndi mnzake motere kungakhale kovuta pachiyambi, koma kumakhala kosavuta poyeserera komanso zotsatira zokhutiritsa. Chofunikira kukumbukira ndikuti mukufuna kuti vutoli lithe. Kugwirira ntchito limodzi nthawi zonse kumakhala njira yabwino kuthana ndi mavuto kuposa kungotengera momwe zilili pakadali pano. Njira imeneyi imatha kuchitapo kanthu. Katswiri wodziwa bwino angakuthandizeni kukulitsa luso lanu lolumikizana kuti mubwerere ku gawo labwino kwambiri laubwenzi wanu - kukondana!