Zamkati
- 1. Pitani kukalandira chithandizo
- 2. Dulani ubale ndi bambo anu okonda zachiwerewere
- 3. Kumbukirani kuti nkhanza sizitanthauza kudzidalira kwanu
- 4. Khazikitsani malire
- 5. Yesetsani kulandila
Zowonongeka zomwe zimatha kuchitika m'maganizo mwanu ngati muli ndi bambo wamwano zitha kukhala ndi zotsatira zokhalitsa. Koma sizitanthauza kuti zotsatirazi ziyenera kukhala moyo wonse.
Mutha kudzichiritsa ndikudziteteza (ndipo mutha kukhala ndiubwenzi wamtsogolo ndi abambo anu amwano). Vuto la kulera kwamankhwala osokoneza bongo, monga momwe kafukufuku akuwonetsera, ndi lalikulu kwambiri ndipo kuthana ndi zovuta zake kumatha kukhala kwamavuto.
Koma mutha kuchita izi ngati mungasankhe kukonza zomwe zawonongeka ndikuyesa kuvomereza ndikupanga malire anu (omwe simugawane ndi abambo anu kuti akuthandizeni kuyanjana nawo).
Nawa malingaliro omwe muyenera kudziwa ngati mukufuna kudziwa momwe mungachitire ndi makolo osamvera, makamaka ngati mwadyetsedwa ndipo mukufuna kuphunzira momwe mungachitire ndi bambo wamiseche:
1. Pitani kukalandira chithandizo
Therapy ndi njira yabwino kwambiri yochotsera nkhanza komanso kuthana ndi zomwe zinawonongeka chifukwa chakuzunzidwa, kuphatikiza zowonongedwa ndi abambo okonda zachiwerewere. Ngati nkhawa kapena PTSD zikuwoneka ngati zisonyezo za nkhanza, pitani kuchipatala mwa njira zonse ndipo musachedwenso.
Gawo labwino lothandizira lingayambitse zovuta zaubwana zomwe simunathe kuthana nazo kapena kudziteteza mukadali mwana chifukwa mudali achichepere kwambiri. Chithandizo chitha kukuthandizani kubwerezanso ubwana womwe mudasowa chifukwa cha zomwe abambo anu anali nazo pa inu.
Njira zina zothandizira zomwe mungalowemo ndi kulingalira.
Kulingalira, monga chithandizo, kukupemphani kuti muganizire kwambiri za tsopano ndikuvomereza zakale monga zinali.
Ndipo ngati mwakhala ndi nkhawa kuchokera paubwenzi wanu ndi abambo anu okonda zachiwerewere (mwina obwera chifukwa chakumverera komwe simudzakwaniritsa iwo) kulingalira kungakuthandizeni kuthana ndi mavutowa.
Sizimapweteka konse kulowa kuchipatala kuti mupulumuke wamankhwala osokoneza bongo. Kuphunzira kuchita kuvomereza ndi luso lofunikira pamoyo lomwe lingakuthandizeni bwino, osangokhudza ubale wanu ndi abambo anu okonda zachiwerewere koma m'mbali zonse za moyo wanu komanso tsogolo lanu.
Onani Wofufuza zama psychology a Ramani Durvasula za abambo a Narcissistic ndi upangiri wake wamomwe angathetsere nkhanza.
2. Dulani ubale ndi bambo anu okonda zachiwerewere
Ngati ndinu munthu wamkulu, tsopano mumatha kudzisamalira komanso kudzisamalira. Abambo anu okonda zachiwerewere sangasinthe, mutha kusankha kuti muchepetse ubale wawo ngati angamachite nkhanza komanso poizoni.
Mwina mungachite izi mpaka mutaphunzira kumulandira monga momwe alili ndikudziteteza ku zomwe abambo anu amakonda kuchita.
Kumbukirani bambo wankhanza, monga onse ochita nkhanza, gwiritsani ntchito ndikusokoneza anthu ena kuti apeze zomwe akufuna. Kukhala ndi mwana kumatanthauza kuti atha kuwonjezera ana awo ku "chuma" chomwe chithandizira kuzindikira ndikukulitsa kudzidalira kwawo.
Abambo okonda zachiwerewere amakondera mwana (kapena ana) omwe amubweretsere ulemu chifukwa, kwa bambo wankhanza, anawo ndizowonjezera zokha. Ndipo izi zitha kukhala zopitilira muyeso.
Muyenera kumvetsetsa bwino za kachitidwe kameneka ndikuwongolera zomwe mukuyembekezera kwa Atate wanu ndikudziteteza ku zovuta zamankhwala ngati mukufuna kuti akhalebe m'moyo wanu. Kupanda kutero kudula maubale ndiyo njira yabwino kwambiri yodzitetezera.
3. Kumbukirani kuti nkhanza sizitanthauza kudzidalira kwanu
Kuzunzidwa kwawo kumadza chifukwa chokhala ndimatenda amisala. Anthu ambiri omwe adachitidwapo nkhanza apanga cholakwika polola kuti owazunza kapena owazunza aziwone kuti ndiwofunika.
Mgwirizano wamavuto umapangidwa chifukwa cha zokumana nazo zazikulu zomwe zimakhala ndi munthu woopsa. Chifukwa cha zovuta zomwe zidachitika, tidamangidwa. Olimbikitsidwa ndikulimbikitsana kwapakatikati monga kuphulitsa kwachikondi kwakanthawi.
Kukumana ndi vuto lazowopsa ndikowopsa ndipo nkovuta kuchokako, ndipo mwina mukukumana ndi ubale wamtunduwu ndi abambo anu okonda zachiwerewere komanso zomangira zina zonse zachilengedwe ndi ziyembekezo zomwe mumapanga ndi abambo 'abwinobwino' nawonso.
Zimakhala zovuta kumasuka kwa omwe akukuzunzani makamaka kuti chibwenzicho chili pafupi.
Omwe amachitidwapo zachisoni sawadziwonanso ngati opatukana ndi omwe amawazunza.
Ndi ubale uliwonse wa poizoni, kuchuluka kwa nkhanza zomwe mumakumana nazo (mwachitsanzo, kusokonezeka kwamaganizidwe, kuchititsidwa manyazi, ndi zina zambiri) sizofanana ndi kudzidalira kwanu.
Ndiwe wokongola ndi ufulu wako; mumatha kudziyimira pawokha, ndipo mumakwanitsa kukwaniritsa zinthu panokha makamaka pankhani yolimbana ndi kholo lachinyengo. Monga momwe ziliri ndi mfundo yachiwiri, dziwani kuti ndibwino kuti muchepetse ubale makamaka ngati chibwenzicho chakhala choopsa kwambiri.
4. Khazikitsani malire
Abambo achiNarcissistic amawona ana awo ngati zida.Mosabisa, ana awo ndi "chuma" kwa iwo. Ndipo chifukwa ndi "anu," amakugwiritsirani ntchito.
Ngati mukukhala ndi kholo lokonda zachiwerewere, khazikitsani malire ndikulimbitsa malirewo.
Kumbukirani kuti abambo anu owopsa a narcissist alibe chisoni. Kulephera kumvera chisoni kumamupangitsa kuti asamvetsetse momwe mukumvera kapena malingaliro anu.
Abambo anu akayamba kulimbana ndi malire omwe mwakhazikitsa, khalani nawo pansi ndikutsutsana nawo. Apanso, ndinu wamkulu tsopano, ndipo chifukwa chothana ndi bambo wankhanza, mutha kuyamba kutsimikizira ulamuliro wanu makamaka bambo anu akuwonetsa kunyoza.
Koma khalani osamala; kudzimva kuti ndi wankhanza ndikosalimba, safuna kuti kudzikayikira kwawo kukhale kovuta kwa wina aliyense. Imani mwamphamvu ndi malire anu mukamakhala ndi makolo amiseche.
5. Yesetsani kulandila
Simungaganize izi ngati njira yothanirana ndi nkhanza koma kuyeserera kulandira thandizo.
Mukapeza mwayi wopita kuchipatala, kuvomereza abambo anu okonda zachiwerewere kuti akhale omwe ali ovuta mwina. Koma kwa iwo omwe satero, ichi chitha kukhala chinthu chovuta kwambiri kuchita makamaka pamene abambo anu ali osowa kwambiri.
"Mzimu wake wovuta" sungakhale wosweka, pambuyo pake, munthu wamanyazi amangodziona ngati wangwiro komanso woyenera chidwi chilichonse (kafukufukuyu akuwonetsa momwe amadziwira za vuto lawo la umunthu).
Ngati mungasinthe malingaliro anu ndizotheka kuti zitha kuyendetsedwa bwino, titero (musamuuze kuti akuyang'aniridwa!).
Kupanga njira yoyamba yochiritsira nkhanza komanso ubale wowonongekowu kumakhala kovuta kuyamba nawo. Koma ukangotenga sitepe iyi, uwona kuti ndibwino bwanji kumasuka ku mavuto obwera chifukwa chokhala mwana wa bambo wankhanza.