Zamkati
- 1. Kuyesera kupambana
- 2. Kuyesera kukhala wolondola
- 3. Osalankhulana
- 4. Kunamizira kulankhulana
- 5. Kuyesa kupweteka
Maanja amalumikizana munjira zosiyanasiyana. Komabe, nthawi zambiri amalankhulana m'njira zomwe zimawononga chibwenzi chawo osati chongomanga. Pansipa pali njira zinayi zofala kwambiri zomwe maanja amalumikizana m'njira zowonongera.
1. Kuyesera kupambana
Mwina njira yolankhulirana yoyipa kwambiri ndi yomwe maanja akuyesera kuti apambane. Cholinga cha kulumikizana kotere sikuthetsa kusamvana pakukondana komanso kuvomereza zokambirana. M'malo mwake, m'modzi mwa awiriwo (kapena onse awiri) amawona zokambiranazo ngati nkhondo ndipo amachita zomwe akufuna kuti apambane nkhondoyi.
Njira zomwe zingapambane nkhondoyi ndi izi:
- Kudziimba mlandu ("O, Mulungu wanga, sindikudziwa momwe ndapiririra izi!")
- Kuopsezedwa (“Kodi ungokhala chete ndikundimvera kamodzi?)
- Kudandaula pafupipafupi kuti mumumvere mnzakeyo (“Ndakuwuzani kangati kuti mutulutse zinyalala?
Gawo loyesera kuti mupambane ndikutanthauza kutsitsa mnzanu. Mumamuwona mnzanuyo ali wamakani, wamwano, wodzikonda, wodzikuza, wopusa kapena mwana. Cholinga chanu polumikizana ndikupangitsa mnzanu kuti awone kuwunika ndikugonjera pazidziwitso zanu komanso kumvetsetsa kwanu. Koma simupambana kwenikweni pogwiritsa ntchito njira yolankhulirana iyi; mungamupangitse mnzanuyo kugonjera mpaka pamlingo winawake, koma padzakhala phindu lalikulu chifukwa chogonjera. Sipadzakhala chikondi chenicheni mu ubale wanu. Udzakhala ubale wopanda chikondi, wolamulira-wogonjera.
2. Kuyesera kukhala wolondola
Mtundu wina wofala wolumikizana wowononga umachokera mu chizolowezi cha anthu chofuna kukhala cholondola. Kumlingo winawake, tonsefe timafuna kukhala olondola. Chifukwa chake, maanja nthawi zambiri amakhala ndi mkangano umodzi mobwerezabwereza ndipo palibe chomwe chidzathetsedwe. “Walakwa!” membala m'modzi anena. “Simungamvetse ayi!” Wina uja anena kuti, “Ayi, mwalakwitsa. Ndine amene ndimachita zonse ndipo zonse zomwe mumachita ndimangonena zakulakwitsa kwanga. ” Membala woyamba ayankha kuti, "Ndikulankhula zakulakwitsa kwanu chifukwa mwalakwitsa. Ndipo sukuziwona! ”
Mabanja omwe akuyenera kukhala olondola samafika pamlingo wokhoza kuthetsa mikangano chifukwa sangathe kusiya zosowa zawo kuti akhale olondola. Pofuna kusiya zosowazo, munthu ayenera kukhala wofunitsitsa komanso kudziyang'ana pawokha moyenera. Ndi ochepa omwe angachite izi.
Confucius adati, "Ndayenda madera akutali ndipo ndiyenera kukumana ndi munthu yemwe angadzipezere yekha chiweruzo." Njira yoyamba yothanirana ndi cholakwika choyenera ndikukhala wololera kuvomereza kuti mwina mwalakwitsa zinazake. Zowonadi mutha kukhala olakwa pazinthu zomwe mumatsutsa kwambiri.
3. Osalankhulana
Nthawi zina maanja amangosiya kulankhulana. Amasunga chilichonse mkati ndipo malingaliro awo amachitidwa m'malo mofotokozera. Anthu amasiya kulankhulana pazifukwa zosiyanasiyana:
- Akuwopa kuti samvera;
- Safuna kudzipanga okha kukhala osatetezereka;
- Kupondereza mkwiyo wawo chifukwa mnzakeyo sali woyenera;
- Amaganiza kuti kuyankhula kungayambitse mkangano. Chifukwa chake munthu aliyense amakhala pawokha ndipo salankhula chilichonse kwa mnzake zomwe zili zofunika kwa iye. Amalankhula ndi anzawo, koma osalankhulana.
Anthu okwatirana akasiya kulankhulana, banja lawo limakhala lopanda kanthu. Amatha kuchita izi kwazaka zambiri, mwina mpaka kumapeto. Maganizo awo, monga ndidanenera, adzachitidwa m'njira zosiyanasiyana. Amachitidwa posalankhulana, poyankhula ndi anthu ena za wina ndi mnzake, kusakhala ndi chidwi kapena kukondana, kunyengana, komanso njira zina zambiri. Malingana ngati akhala chonchi, ali mu purigatoriyo yaukwati.
4. Kunamizira kulankhulana
Pali nthawi zina pamene okwatirana amanamizira kuti amalankhulana. Mmodzi amafuna kulankhula ndipo winayo akumvetsera ndikumagwedeza mutu ngati kuti akumvetsetsa kwathunthu. Onsewa akudziyesa. Membala yemwe akufuna kuyankhula safunadi kuyankhula, koma amafuna kuti aphunzitse kapena kukhala wapapa ndipo amafunika kuti winayo amvere ndikunena zoyenera. Mamembala omwe amamvetsera samamvera koma amangonamizira kuti amusangalatse. “Mukumva zomwe ndikunenazi?” membala m'modzi akutero. "Inde, ndikumvetsetsa." Amadutsa pamwambowu mobwerezabwereza, koma palibe chomwe chatsimikizika.
Kwa kanthawi, zitatha zoyankhuliranazi, zinthu zikuwoneka ngati zikuyenda bwino. Amanamizira kuti ndi banja losangalala. Amapita kumaphwando ndikugwirana manja ndipo aliyense amalankhula zakusangalala kwawo. Koma chisangalalo chawo ndi cha mawonekedwe okha. Pamapeto pake, banjali limagweranso chimodzimodzi, ndipo pakufunika kuti pakhale zokambirana zina zongonamizira. Komabe, palibe wokondedwa amene akufuna kupita kudziko lowona mtima. Kunamizira sikowopsa kwenikweni. Ndipo amakhala moyo wachiphamaso.
5. Kuyesa kupweteka
Nthawi zina maanja amatha kukhala owopsa. Sikuti ndikulondola kapena kupambana; ndi yokhudza kuwonongana wina ndi mnzake. Mabanja awa mwina adayamba kukondana, koma panjira adadana. Nthawi zambiri maanja omwe ali ndi vuto lauchidakwa amatha kumenya nawo nkhondo zamtunduwu, momwe amatha usiku ndi usiku akumanizana, nthawi zina moyipa kwambiri. “Sindikudziwa chifukwa chake ndinakwatiwa ndi munthu wonyoza ngati iwe!” wina ayankha, ndipo winayo ayankha kuti, "Iwe unandikwatira chifukwa palibe wina amene angatengere kupusa ngati iwe."
Mwachidziwikire, m'mabanja otere kulankhulana kumakhala kotsika kwambiri. Anthu omwe amatsutsana poyika anzawo pansi amadziona kuti ndi achabechabe ndipo amapusitsidwa poganiza kuti ponyoza wina akhoza kukhala wapamwamba munjira ina. Iwo ali pa chisangalalo-chosazungulira kuti asokoneze moyo wawo wopanda chiyembekezo.