Zamkati
- Mvetserani ndi cholinga
- Tengani udindo pazomwe mukumva
- Phunzirani chilankhulo cha mnzanu
- Palibe vuto kukana
- Khalani okoma mtima ndi achisomo
Ukwati ndi wovuta. Makanema ndi kanema wawayilesi yakonda malingaliro achikondi ndiukwati ndikukweza ziyembekezo. Miyezo yakhazikitsidwa koposa zenizeni - sikuti aliyense ali ndi chikondi cha nthano chopanda nkhawa, kukayika, komanso mikangano. Komabe, ngakhale banja lanu mwina lingakhale lopanda chilema, ndikofunikira kuti ubale upitilize kusintha ndikukula pakapita nthawi. Njira zisanu izi, ngati mungazigwiritse ntchito pafupipafupi, zitha kukhala zothandiza pakusintha momwe mumalumikizirana ndikusangalala ndi kulumikizana bwino ndi wokondedwa wanu.
Mvetserani ndi cholinga
"Ndakumva." Chigamulochi sichachilendo kulumikizana pakati pa okwatirana, koma kodi kumva kumatanthauza chimodzimodzi kumvera? Kumva ndi njira yomwe mafunde amawu amamenya eardrum ndikupangitsa kunjenjemera komwe kumatumizidwa kuubongo. Ndi gawo lathupi lolumikizirana. Komabe, kumvera kumatanthauza kutenga ndikusintha zomwe zikufotokozedwazo. Kukhala womvera wabwino kumatanthauza kumvetsera zoposa mawu okha. Muyenera kuzindikira tanthauzo la kamvekedwe, kamvekedwe, ndi kuchuluka kwa mawu; mumawona mawonekedwe akumaso, mawu, ndi zina zomwe sizitchulidwa kuti zizilumikizana bwino ndi mnzanu.
Kukhala womvera wabwino kumatanthauza kugwiritsa ntchito nthawi ndi mphamvu zanu kuti mulandire zomwe mnzanu akuyesera kuti akuuzeni. Kumvetsera kumakhala kovuta; yesetsani kulankhula pang'ono, kuchotsa zododometsa, kufunafuna malingaliro ofunikira, ndi kupewa kuweruziratu msanga.
Tengani udindo pazomwe mukumva
Kukhala wolimba mtima polankhula nthawi zambiri kumasokonezeka ndi kukhala wankhanza. Kupsa mtima kumaphwanya ufulu wa munthu wina pomwe kudziwumiriza ndikulankhulana mwaulemu komanso mwachidule ufulu wanu. Chilankhulo chodzipereka ndicholinga chokhala ndi udindo pakukhudzidwa kwanu ndikuwonjezera kuthekera kokambirana momveka bwino zomwe zimapangitsa.
Gwiritsani ntchito mawu akuti "Ine" monga "Ndikuganiza ..." kapena "Ndikumva ..." Mawu monga awa atha kuthandiza kuwuza mnzanu kuti simukusintha malingaliro kapena malingaliro anu, koma m'malo mwake, mukuyesera kufotokoza momveka bwino zanu. Pangani zopempha pogwiritsa ntchito mtundu womwewo; kunena kuti "Ndikufuna ..." zitha kukhala zothandiza kwambiri kuposa "Muyenera ..." Muloleze kunyengerera kapena pemphani malingaliro a mnzanu. Funsani kuti mumveke m'malo mongoganizira momwe mnzake akumvera, ndipo pewani kunena zomwe zikufuna kapena zomwe zikuwoneka ngati zikumuimba mlandu mnzakeyo chifukwa chakumverera kwanu. Kumbukirani, mnzanuyo sanakukwiyitseni - munakwiya pamene mnzanuyo anasankha kuchita chinthu chayekha osati ndi inu. Ngakhale kuchitako sikunali kwanu, momwe akumvera, ndipo ndikofunikira kuti mutenge nawo mbali.
Phunzirani chilankhulo cha mnzanu
Kodi mumakonda kulandiridwa bwanji? Mutha kukhala ndi nthawi yocheza ndi mnzanu kapena kukhala pachibwenzi. Gary Chapman, wolemba wa Zinenero Zachikondi 5: Chinsinsi ChachikondiZomwe Zidzatha, anatchula njira zisanu zosiyana zomwe munthu aliyense amapatsira ndi kulandira chikondi. Maguluwa akuphatikizapo kukhudza thupi, kulandira mphatso, nthawi yabwino, ntchito zogwirira ntchito, ndi mawu otsimikizira. Wolemba akuti aliyense ali ndi njira imodzi kapena ziwiri zabwino zolandirira chikondi. Cholakwika kwambiri, komabe, ambiri amayesa kuwonetsa okondedwa awo momwe angakondere, m'malo mongolingalira chilankhulo cha mnzake. Khalani ndi nthawi osati kungodziwa momwe mumakondera chikondi komanso kuzindikira njira zomwe wokondedwa wanu angafune kukondedwa.
Palibe vuto kukana
Kulephera kukwaniritsa ziyembekezo zosatheka ndizokhumudwitsa ndipo kumatha kuyambitsa mikangano m'banja. Nthawi zina, ndibwino kunena kuti ayi! Gawo limodzi lodziwikiratu kwa mnzanu ndi kutha kudziwa nthawi yokwanira kapena ngati muli ndi zochuluka kwambiri m'mbale yanu. Kunena kuti ayi kukhoza kukhala kokhumudwitsa kwa inu kapena mnzanu, koma kungakhale kofunikira kuti mukhalebe ndi thanzi labanja lanu. Vomerezani mnzanu kuti zingakhale zokhumudwitsa kapena zokhumudwitsa, koma pewani kudziimba mlandu.
Khalani okoma mtima ndi achisomo
Pakati pa mkangano woopsa, nthawi zambiri kumakhala kovuta kwambiri kukhala okoma mtima ndikuchita moleza mtima. Mawu anu ali ndi mphamvu yakukweza kapena kunyoza mnzanu - muzigwiritse ntchito mwanzeru! Mawu omwe adanenedwa pakadali pano samatha mkanganowo ukatha. Dziwani zomwe mukunena ndikudziwa mtundu wa mphamvu zomwe amanyamula. Khalani achisomo ndi odekha; perekani nthawi kwa mnzanu kuti akonze zolakwika kapena kupepesa chifukwa cha zolakwa. Palibe vuto kukhala ndi ziyembekezo, koma kuyembekezera kukhutitsidwa msanga ndi kowopsa.
Njira zisanuzi ndizofunikira kwambiri pakulankhulana bwino ndi wokondedwa wanu, ngati inu ndi mnzanu mutazigwiritsa ntchito, zitha kulimbikitsa ubale wapabanja. Chikondi ndiye maziko a banja, koma popanda njira yolumikizirana yolumikizana, ukwati sungathe kufikira pomwe ungakwanitse. Phunzirani kukhala achangu, kupezeka, ndikukhala okoma mtima. Khalani okonzeka kupita kumtunda ndikupanga malo olumikizana zenizeni muubwenzi wanu.