Zamkati
- 1. Chikondi ndi champhamvu ngati imfa
- 2. Osangoyang'ana pa mnzake
- 3. Muyenera kukhululuka
- 4. Simuli nokha
- 5. Dalirani banja lanu koposa momwe mumamvera
Kupulumuka ku kusakhulupirika ndi kuchiritsidwa kuchokera ku kusakhulupirika, kumabweretsa zovuta zambiri kwa omwe abwenziwo adanyengedwa, ndikuyang'ana njira zothanirana ndi chibwenzi.
Ngati pali chinthu chimodzi chomwe palibe wokwatirana amene angafune kukumana nacho, zingakhale choncho. Komabe malinga ndi kafukufuku wosindikizidwa ambiri, zanenedweratu kuti pafupifupi 60% ya anthu atenga nawo gawo pachinthu chimodzi m'banja lawo. Osati zokhazo, koma 2-3 peresenti ya ana ndi zotsatira za chibwenzi.
Inde, awa ndi owerengeka owopsa; komabe, sizitanthauza kuti ubale wanu uyenera kukhala umodzi mwa iwo. Zikafika pakutsimikizira ukwati wanu, mabuku monga Zake Zosowa, Zosowa Zake zolembedwa ndi Willard F. Harley, Jr. angakupatseni chidziwitso chambiri chokhudza momwe mungasungire kulumikizana kwanu ndi mnzanuyo kukhala wathanzi komanso wamphamvu.
Ndibwinonso kuwona mlangizi wamaukwati, kangapo pachaka, ngakhale simukuwona kuti muli ndi zovuta zenizeni zaukwati. Ndi njira yoyeserera kuti banja lanu likhale lotetezeka. Komanso, pangani ubale wapamtima (mwakuthupi ndi mwamalingaliro) muubwenzi wanu kukhala chinthu choyambirira.
Pokhala kuti 15-20% ya okwatirana amagonana kangapo osapitilira 10 pachaka, maukwati osagonana amawerengedwa kuti ndiomwe amayambitsa kusakhulupirika.
Nanga bwanji ngati mungakhale munthu amene wachita chigololo kale muukwati wanu? Inde, zitha kukhala zovuta (mwankhanza ngakhale). Inde, zitha kumveka ngati banja lanu likutha posapeweka. Komabe, ndi nthawi yovuta kwambiri pomwe muyenera kukumbukira kuti kuchira chifukwa cha kusakhulupirika ndi kotheka.
Izi zati, ndikofunikira kukumbukira zinthu zisanu zotsatirazi pamene mukuyang'ana njira zothetsera chibwenzi ndikuchiza pambuyo pa kusakhulupirika.
1. Chikondi ndi champhamvu ngati imfa
Pali vesi lina mu baibulo lomwe limati "chikondi ndi champhamvu ngati imfa" (Nyimbo ya Solomo 8: 6).
Mukachira kusakhulupirika, ndichinthu chabwino kwambiri kuti mukhale pafupi chifukwa ndizokukumbutsani kuti zivute zitani muukwati, chikondi chomwe muli nacho kwa inu chimatha kukubweretserani.
Chibwenzi poyamba chimamverera ngati imfa yaubwenzi wanu, koma chikondi chimatha kuchiwukitsanso.
2. Osangoyang'ana pa mnzake
Ngati simunawonepo kanema wa Tyler Perry N'chifukwa Chiyani Ndinakwatira?, ndibwino kuti muwone. Mmenemo, mumatchedwa chinthu cha 80/20. Kwenikweni lingaliro ndilakuti munthu akabera, amakonda kukopeka ndi 20% mwa munthu wina yemwe akusowa kwa mnzake.
Komabe, nthawi zambiri amatha kuzindikira kuti ali bwino ndi 80 peresenti yomwe anali nayo kale. Ndicho chifukwa chake silibwino kuganizira "munthu wina". Imeneyo ndiye njira yothandiza komanso yothandiza kuti musunthire pambuyo ponamizidwa.
Siwo vuto; ndizomwe zimagwiritsidwa ntchito poyesa kuthana ndi zovuta zenizeni. Ngati inu ndi amene munachita chibwenzi, musayang'ane kwa munthu amene munachita naye chinyengo ngati tikiti yanu yosangalalira.
Kumbukirani, adakuthandizaninso kukhala osakhulupirika; ili ndi vuto lakukhulupirika kumbali yawo. Ndipo ngati ndinu amene mwachitidwapo zachipongwezo, musataye nthawi yambiri mukuganiza chomwe chinapangitsa kuti mnzakeyo akhale "wabwino kwambiri" kuposa inu. Iwo sali "abwinoko", osiyana chabe.
Osangokhala izi koma zochitika ndi zadyera chifukwa sizifunikira ntchito ndikudzipereka komwe maukwati amachita. Munthu winayo si wa m'banja lanu. Musawapatse mphamvu zoposa zomwe akuyenera. Zomwe palibe.
3. Muyenera kukhululuka
Kodi chibwenzi chingabwerere mwakale pambuyo ponyenga? Yankho ndilakuti, zimatengera.
Mabanja ena sachita bwino akayambiranso chigololo chifukwa chobwererabe m'banjamo-potengera momwe zinthu zilili pa banja. Ngakhale zimatenga nthawi kuti muchepetse komanso pomwe "kuchita zibwenzi" mwina sizingachitike ndi 100%, kuti banja lanu liziyenda bwino, kukhululukirana kuyenera kuchitika.
Upangiri wina woti ungayambitsenso kukhulupirirana ukatha kubera ndikukumbukira kuti wozunzidwayo ayenera kukhululukira wobera ndipo wonyenga adzadzikhululukiranso.
Ndikofunikanso kugawana kuti kukhululuka ndimachitidwe.
Ngakhale kuwawa kwa kusakhulupirika sikumatha, tsiku lililonse nonse muyenera kusankha "Ndikutenganso gawo limodzi kuti ndimasule izi kuti banja langa likhale lolimba."
4. Simuli nokha
Chimodzi mwazifukwa zomwe ziwerengerozi zidagawidwa ndikuti mutha kukumbutsidwa kuti ngakhale mutha kumva kuti banja lanu ndi lokhalo padziko lapansi lomwe lakhala osakhulupirika, sizomwe zili choncho. Sikuti kupeputsa vuto lanu kapena kunyoza kufunikira kwa funsoli, momwe mungachiritsire mukabereredwa.
Kungokulimbikitsani kuti mufikire anthu ena omwe mungawakhulupirire
- Sungani zinthu mwachidaliro chonse
- Kukuthandizani ndikukulimbikitsani
- Mwinanso mugawane zokumana nazo zawo ngati njira yokuthandizani kukhala ndi chiyembekezo
- Kukuthandizani pakuchira mutachita chibwenzi
Ngati simunakonde kuchita izi, lingalirani zowonera 51 Birch Street. Amayankhula za kusakhulupirika. Mudzawonanso ukwati mwanjira ina yatsopano.
5. Dalirani banja lanu koposa momwe mumamvera
Ngati aliyense amene adakumana ndi chibwenzi adangodalira momwe akumvera zikafika poti agwirizane, mwina palibe banja lomwe lingapulumuke.
Komanso, kwa iwo omwe akufunafuna maupangiri oti adzalimbikenso pambuyo poti achita chinyengo, ndikofunikira kupatsa mnzanu mayankho okhutiritsa omwe angafune pokhala owona za komwe muli, zolemba ndi mayitanidwe, mapulani amtsogolo, zinthu kuntchito, anthu omwe mumacheza nawo pa tsiku ndi tsiku, zosintha zilizonse. Chitani zonse zotheka kuwathandiza kuti azikukhulupirirani.
Ngati mukukhala kuti simukuyenerera kupeza mayankho a mafunso ngati awa, "momwe mungachokere kusakhulupirika" komanso "momwe mungakhazikitsirenso chibwenzi mukatha kuonera", ndibwino kuti mufikire katswiri wovomerezeka yemwe angakuthandizeni kusakhulupirika ndikuwathandiza njira yochira kusakhulupirika.
Ndiophunzitsidwa bwino omwe angakuthandizeninso momwe mungathanirane ndi kusakhulupirika komanso kuthetsa chibwenzicho mwamtendere kuti muyambirenso, ngati mungasankhe kuti zatha.
Kupitilira kungoganizira za nthawi yayitali kuti munthu athetse kusakhulupirika, ndikofunikira kudziwa kuti ngakhale mukuchira kusakhulupirika, muyenera kuyang'ana kwambiri paukwati wanu ndi zomwe mumafuna kuposa momwe mumamvera za chibwenzi chomwecho.
Chibwenzi ndikulakwitsa komwe kumachitika muukwati, koma banja lanu ndi ubale womwe wapangidwa kuti ukhale moyo wonse. Ngati izi ndizomwe mukufuna, ikani mtima wanu ndi moyo wanu. Osati mu chinthu chomwe chinkayesera kuchiwononga icho.