Zamkati
- 1. Amuna ayenera kulemekezedwa koposa china chilichonse
- 2. Amuna samaleredwa kuti agawane momwe akumvera
- 3. Titha kumvetsera koma kuli bwino tikonze
- 4. Amuna amafuna kusamaliridwa
- 5. Amuna amawopa kuti aziwoneka ofooka
- 6. Kukopa mwamuna wanu ndiye chinthu choyipitsitsa chomwe mungachite
- 7. Mwamuna amafunikira mkazi wake kuti akhale womulimbikitsa kwambiri
- 8. Amuna nawonso amafuna kukhala ofunidwa
Monga mkazi, mwina munadabwa kuti:
“Kodi amuna amafunadi?”
Nayi mndandanda womwe umafotokozera mwatsatanetsatane komanso kuzindikira zomwe amuna ambiri amafuna kuti akazi adziwe.
1. Amuna ayenera kulemekezedwa koposa china chilichonse
Chomwe chimamupangitsa munthu kumverera ngati mwamuna ndi ulemu. Kaya ndinu wopembedza kapena ayi, ndizowona zomwe baibulo limanena za amuna ndi ulemu. Pali buku la Dr. Eggerichs lotchedwa "Chikondi ndi Ulemu" komwe amafotokoza mwatsatanetsatane za kufunikira kwa amayi kulemekeza amuna awo. Kulemekeza munthu kuli ngati Sipinachi kwa Popeye ... kumamupatsa mphamvu ndipo kumamupangitsa kuti azimva ngati wosagonjetseka. Izi ndizofunikira chifukwa pali zinthu zomwe akazi amafuna kuti amuna azichita koma m'malo momangirira ndi kumukonzekeretsa ntchitoyi, amamugwetsa pansi ndikumamuimba mlandu kuti "sanamalize". Kodi kusalemekeza kumawoneka bwanji? Kufunsa zonse zomwe amachita. Kudzudzula zisankho ndi zolinga zake. Pali zinthu zambiri zomwe zimafotokozera kupanda ulemu m'buku la Dr. Eggerichs.
2. Amuna samaleredwa kuti agawane momwe akumvera
Amuna akamakhala anyamata samacheza kuti agawane momwe akumvera komanso momwe akumvera. Anyamata amapangidwa kuti apondereze momwe akumvera ndikudziyesa kuti ndi olimba komanso sapweteka. Ndinawona kanema pazanema zamnyamata wazaka 4 akumetedwa. Sindikudziwa ngati mwanayo anali kupweteka kapena ayi koma anali kukuwa ngati kuti akumva kuwawa. Abambo ake anali atayima pamenepo ndi iye, zomwe zili zabwino, koma zomwe abambo ake anali kunena sizinali zabwino. Anauza mwana wake wamwamuna kuti, "usalire ... khala mwamuna ... khala wolimba mtima." Kanemayo adandimvetsa chisoni chifukwa zomwe bambowo sanazindikire ndikuti anali kuuza mwana wawo wamwamuna wazaka 4 kuti ngati akufuna kukhala wamwamuna ndiye kuti sangathe kufotokoza zomwe akumva ... amuna samalira. Amamuuzanso kuti "kukhala wolimba" kumatanthauza kusalira. Chomwe ana amafuna kuchita kwambiri ndikufanana ndi akulu akulu, kotero kuti mumuuze kuti "mukhale mamuna" achita zomwe amakhulupirira kuti amuna amachita ... kupondereza malingaliro awo. Monga anyamata, abambo amaleredwa kuti "akhale olimba" ndikugwira ntchito molimbika.
3. Titha kumvetsera koma kuli bwino tikonze
Mkazi akabwera kwa mwamuna wake ali ndi vuto, nthawi zambiri amakhala akufuna kuti amvetsere. Koma amuna ndiomwe amakonza komanso kuthetsa mavuto. Akufuna kukonza vutoli kwa mayi wawo. Pomwe amuna amayenera kuphunzira kuti sikumangokhalira kukonza zinthu, mkazi amayenera kumvetsetsa kuti ndimomwe amuna amakhalira. Mwamuna aliyense amafuna kukhala wolimba mtima. Koma pokhala ngwazi nthawi zina amamva ngati sakumvera. Izi sizowona. Kumbukirani, abambo amakhala omveka bwino ndipo akazi amakhala otengeka kwambiri.
4. Amuna amafuna kusamaliridwa
Ndikauza azimayi kuti amuna amafuna kuwasamalira ndiyenera kufotokozera mwachangu kuti sakukufuna kuti ukhale mayi ake. Pali kusiyana pakati pa kusamalidwa ndikuchitiridwa ngati mwana. M'malo mwake, kuchitira amuna anu ngati mwana wanu kumakhala ndi zotsatirapo zoyipa kwambiri kwa inu. Komabe, amuna amafuna chisamaliro chomwe mayi amapereka, osati kungoti "ndinu wopanda thandizo komanso wonyozeka".
Khulupirirani kapena ayi, amuna ndi osavuta. Kusamalira mamuna wako kumawoneka chonchi: Ali ndi zovala zamkati zoyera ndipo mumamusambitsa. Alibe kabudula wamkati ‘wabwino’ ndipo mumamugulira zambiri. Wakhala tsiku lonse akugwira ntchito ndipo m'malo modikirira mpaka abwere kunyumba kudzafunsa zomwe akufuna kudya, mwamukonzera kale china chake. Kwenikweni, kusamalira munthu wanu kumatanthauza kupanga moyo wake kukhala wosavuta. Tsopano ena atha kunena kuti, "ndichifukwa chiyani ndikufunika kuti moyo wake ukhale wosavuta?" Sizofunikira kwenikweni, ndizosowa. Koma kupatula kuti imalankhula zaulemu ndi chikondi ndi chisamaliro kwa iye, zimupangitsa kukhala ngati putty mmanja mwanu. Zachidziwikire kuti izi ndizosavuta chifukwa nthawi zonse pamakhala zifukwa zina muubwenzi zomwe zingakhudze "kukayika amuna." Amayi ambiri sangachitire amuna awo izi chifukwa amawona kuti amuna awo sakuyenera. Kaya izi ndi zoona kapena ayi, kuchita izi kumabweretsa zotsatira zabwino ndikupangitsa kuti azikukondani kwambiri.
Koma kupatula kuti imalankhula zaulemu ndi chikondi ndi chisamaliro kwa iye, zimupangitsa kukhala ngati putty mmanja mwanu. Zachidziwikire kuti izi ndizosavuta chifukwa nthawi zonse pamakhala zifukwa zina muubwenzi zomwe zingakhudze "kukayika amuna." Amayi ambiri sangachitire amuna awo izi chifukwa amawona kuti amuna awo sakuyenera. Kaya izi ndi zoona kapena ayi, kuchita izi kumabweretsa zotsatira zabwino ndikupangitsa kuti azikukondani kwambiri.
5. Amuna amawopa kuti aziwoneka ofooka
Ndizosangalatsa kuti timagwiritsa ntchito nthawi yayitali bwanji kutsimikizira anthu ena kuti sitife anthu. Kodi ndikutanthauza chiyani? Ndikutanthauza kuti timagwira ntchito nthawi yayitali kuti anthu akhulupirire kuti tili nazo zonse pamodzi, kuti sitikuvutika ndi moyo ndipo tilibe nkhawa, zomwe zimangotipangitsa kukhala anthu. Amuna komabe amakumana ndi izi mozama chifukwa timayenera kuvala chigoba "chosagonjetseka" nthawi zonse kuti titeteze umuna wathu. Kuyambira pomwe tidali anyamata aang'ono timauzidwa kuti tiyenera kukhala olimba. Amayi akaganiza za mwamuna nthawi zambiri amaganiza za amuna achimuna, olimba komanso olimba ngati Leonidas waku kanema 300.
Imodzi mwa makanema omwe ndimawakonda kwambiri ndili mwana anali Good Times, yemwe anali ndi bambo wamphamvu ku James Evans. Amuna onse amafuna kukhala olimba mtima, otsimikiza, olimba mtima komanso olimba. Koma zomwe akazi sadziwa ndikuti sichoposa fano lomwe tikufuna, ndi chithunzi chomwe timaopa kuti tisakhale nacho. Chimodzi mwazinthu zowopsa kwambiri kwa mamuna ndikuwoneka wofooka ndi mkazi wake. Kuopa kumeneku kumapangitsa amuna kuchita zolimba kuposa momwe aliri, olimba mtima kuposa momwe aliri komanso olimba mtima kuposa momwe alili, zonse zomwe zimangoyambitsa kunyada komanso kudzikuza. Kudzikuza komanso kunyada ndi zisonyezo zakusatetezeka.
Njira imodzi yachangu kwambiri yokwiyitsa munthu kuti amutche wofooka, pepani, kapena wimp. Amayi ambiri samadziwa kuti amuna amayenda ndi mantha awa nthawi zonse umunthu wawo udzawonekere kudzera pakulimba kwawo. Chowonadi ndi chakuti, amuna nawonso ali ndi mantha. Amuna sadziwa nawonso. Amuna amakhalanso osatetezeka. Zomwe amuna amalakalaka ndi malo omwe amatha kukhala pachiwopsezo ndipo amafuna kuti malowo azikhala ndi mkazi wawo. Koma pali zopinga zambiri zomwe zimalepheretsa izi kuti zichitike ndipo nthawi zambiri azimayi samawona momwe akuwonjezera pazotchinga zomwe zilipo kale mgulu la anthu. Ngati muli ndi mwamuna amene mumamukonda, yesetsani kumupatsa malo oti azitha kukhala pachiwopsezo ndikugawana nawo mantha ake osalangidwa.
6. Kukopa mwamuna wanu ndiye chinthu choyipitsitsa chomwe mungachite
Amamanga pomaliza. Mkazi akatulutsa mwamuna kumakhala kovuta kuti iye aziyiwala kapena kuchira. Atha kupitiliza ndi moyo ndipo zitha kuwoneka ngati zonse zili bwino muubwenzi koma ndikukutsimikizirani kuti sizili choncho. Amuna ali ndi chinthu ichi chomwe timachitcha kuti ego ndipo ndichofooka kwambiri. Chifukwa chakuti amuna amathera nthawi yochuluka komanso kuyesetsa kuwonetsa kuti ndi amuna, akazi samadziwa momwe amuna alili osalimba. Mukakhala pankhondo yankhondo, mukukangana ndi mwamuna wanu, samalani kuti musanene zinthu zomwe simungathe kubwerera. Awa ndi malangizo abwino kwa aliyense.
7. Mwamuna amafunikira mkazi wake kuti akhale womulimbikitsa kwambiri
Ndine wotsimikiza kuti chifukwa chomwe Barack Obama adakhalira Purezidenti Wakuda waku America ndi chifukwa cha a Michelle Obama. Kumbuyo kwa mwamuna aliyense wamphamvu ndi mkazi wothandizira. Amuna amachita bwino akakhala ndi akazi pamakona awo amawalimbikitsa kutchuka. Pali nkhani yoseketsa yomwe yakambidwa yokhudza akazi amtsogoleri. Purezidenti ndi mayi woyamba anali kunja kukakondwerera tsiku lawo lobadwira ndipo woperekera zakudya yemwe amawayang'anira anali chibwenzi chakale cha mayi woyamba. Dona Woyamba atauza Purezidenti kuti mnyamatayo ndi ndani adati, "Ndikuganiza kuti ndinu okondwa kuti simunakwatirane naye. Simukanakwatiwa ndi Purezidenti wa U.S. ” Adamuyang'ana ndipo adati, "Ayi, ndikadamkwatira ndiye akadakhala Purezidenti." Nthawi zambiri ndimawawuza azimayi kuti sakudziwa mphamvu zomwe ali nazo. Amuna amatha kusuntha mapiri koma ndi azimayi omwe amawapatsa chifukwa ndikulimbikitsidwa kutero.
8. Amuna nawonso amafuna kukhala ofunidwa
Amuna amawonedwa ngati omwe amawasaka koma kamodzi ali pachibwenzi mwamunayo amafuna kuti nawonso azimva kuti akufunidwa. Safuna kuti nthawi zonse azikhala woyamba kuyambitsa zachiwerewere, zodabwitsa kapena kukhala wokometsa. Azimayi nthawi zina samamvetsetsa kufunikira kopangitsa amuna awo kumverera ngati akumulakalaka momwe amafunira kuti amveke.