Zamkati
- Chimalimbikitsidwa - Sungani Njira Yanu Yokwatirana
- 1. Kutsatira zitsanzo za makolo ndi agogo athu
- 2. Kusunga chakukhosi
- 3. Kuopa kukondana
- 4. Maluso owopsa olumikizirana
- 5. Kudzidalira komanso kudzidalira
- 6. Kodi unalakwitsa, ndikukwatira munthu wolakwika?
- Funani thandizo kwa akatswiri
- Lembani
- Phunzirani momwe mungayambire kulankhula zakukhosi kwanu
- Yambani ndi kufunsa mafunso abwino kwambiri
- Pezani chomwe chimayambitsa kudzidalira kwanu
- Sambani chinyengo
Kodi muli pabanja losavomerezeka? Kodi ndikusowa kwa maluso oyankhulirana, kapena china chake? Kodi ndizotheka kuti mabanja ambiri akusokonekera tsopano kuposa kale?
Mwina chifukwa cha atolankhani komanso intaneti, timawerenga pafupipafupi za anthu omwe ali ndi zochitika, kapena kuzolowera mayanjano kapena mtundu wina wa zovuta zomwe zikuwoneka ngati zikupha maubale ambiri ndi maukwati ambiri padziko lonse lapansi.
Kwa zaka 28 zapitazi, wolemba, wogulitsa komanso wothandizira kwambiri, David Essel wakhala akuthandiza kuphunzitsa maanja pazomwe zimatengera kuti akhale ndi banja labwino, losangalala kapena ubale.
Pansipa, David amalankhula zamaukwati osavomerezeka, zoyambitsa ndi machiritso
“Ndakhala ndikufunsidwa pafupipafupi pamafunso amafunsidwe pawailesi komanso pokamba nkhani zanga ku USA, ndi mabanja angati omwe akuchita bwino pakadali pano?
Pambuyo pazaka 30 ndikukhala phungu komanso mphunzitsi wamoyo, ndikukuwuzani kuchuluka kwa maukwati omwe ali ndi thanzi ndilotsika kwambiri. Mwina 25%? Ndiyeno funso lotsatira ndikufunsidwa ndi, chifukwa chiyani tili ndi vuto lalikulu mchikondi? Kodi kusowa kwa maluso olumikizirana, kapena china chake?
Yankho silovuta konse, koma ndikukuwuzani kuti si vuto lokhala ndi maluso olumikizirana, ndichinthu chomwe chitha kuzama kuposa pamenepo.
Chimalimbikitsidwa - Sungani Njira Yanu Yokwatirana
Pansipa, tiyeni tikambirane zifukwa zikuluzikulu zisanu ndi chimodzi zomwe zimapangitsa kuti mabanja azisokonekera masiku ano, komanso zomwe tiyenera kuchita kuti tisinthe
1. Kutsatira zitsanzo za makolo ndi agogo athu
Tikutsatira zitsanzo za makolo ndi agogo athu, omwe atha kukhala kuti sanakhale bwino kwa zaka 30, 40 kapena 50. Izi sizosiyana ndiye ngati amayi kapena abambo anu anali ndi vuto la mowa, mankhwala osokoneza bongo, kusuta fodya kapena chakudya chomwe mungakhale nacho chomwenso chimayambitsa moyo wanu pakali pano.
Pakati pa zaka zero ndi 18, malingaliro athu osazindikira ndi siponji yachilengedwe chotizungulira.
Chifukwa chake ngati muwona kuti abambo ndiopezerera, amayi amangokhala chabe, talingalirani chiyani? Mukakwatirana kapena mutakhala pachibwenzi, musadabwe pomwe mnzanu akukunenani kuti ndinu wozunza, kapena wamakani.
Mukungobwereza zomwe mudaziwona mukukula, sizowiringula, ndizowona.
2. Kusunga chakukhosi
Kusasunthika kosathetsedwa, mwakuchita kwanga, ndiye njira yoyamba kusokonekera muukwati lero.
Kusunga chakukhosi komwe sikusamalidwa, kumatha kukhala zinthu zam'maganizo, zosokoneza bongo, kugwira ntchito mopitirira muyeso, kungokhala okonda nkhanza, komanso zochitika zathupi.
Mkwiyo wosathetsedwa umaphwanya ubale. Kumawononga mwayi wa ubale uliwonse kuti uchite bwino pakakhala zokhumudwitsa zomwe sizinathe.
3. Kuopa kukondana
Ichi ndi chachikulu. Mu ziphunzitso zathu, kuyanjana ndikofanana 100% kuwona mtima.
Ndi wokondedwa wanu, mwamuna wanu kapena mkazi wanu, bwenzi lanu kapena bwenzi lanu, chimodzi mwazinthu zomwe ziyenera kusiyanitsa ubale womwe muli nawo nawo ndi bwenzi lanu lapamtima, ndikuti mukhale pachiwopsezo chokhala owonamtima nawo 100% m'moyo kuyambira tsiku loyamba.
Chimenecho ndiye chibwenzi chenicheni. Mukagawana ndi mnzanu china chake chomwe angakukanitseni, kapena kunyozedwa nacho, mukuika pachiwopsezo chilichonse, ndinu achilungamo komanso osatetezeka zomwe ndizachikondi kwa ine.
Chaka chapitacho ndidagwira ntchito ndi banja lina lomwe linali ndi vuto lalikulu. Mwamunayo anali wopanda chimwemwe kuyambira pachiyambi pankhani yokhudza kugonana ndi mkazi wake. Mkazi wake samakonda kupsompsona. Amangofuna "kuthana ndi", chifukwa cha zokumana nazo zomwe anali nazo m'mabwenzi apakale zomwe zinali zosavomerezeka.
Koma kuyambira pachiyambi, sanalankhule chilichonse. Anasunga chakukhosi. Sanali wowona mtima.
Amafuna chibwenzi chopsyopsyona, asanafike komanso panthawi yogonana ndipo sangakhale ndi chochita chilichonse ndi izi.
Pogwira ntchito limodzi, adatha kufotokoza mwachikondi, zomwe amafuna komanso amatha kufotokoza mwachikondi, chifukwa chomwe samakhala womasuka kukhala pachiwopsezo cha kupsompsonana.
Kufunitsitsa kwawo kukhala pachiwopsezo chotseguka, kukhala osatetezeka kumabweretsa machiritso osakhulupirika mchikondi, zomwe sanapindulepo zaka 20 zakubadwa.
4. Maluso owopsa olumikizirana
Tsopano musanadumphe pagulu la "kulumikizana ndichinthu chilichonse", yang'anani komwe kuli m'ndandandawu. Zili pansi. Ndi nambala yachinayi.
Ndimauza anthu nthawi zonse omwe amabwera ndikundifunsa kuti ndiwaphunzitse malumikizidwe ngati kuti izi zisintha chibwenzicho, sichoncho.
Ndikudziwa, 90% ya aphungu omwe mungalankhule nawo angakuuzeni kuti zonsezi ndi maluso olumikizirana, ndipo ndikukuwuzani kuti onse alakwitsa.
Ngati simusamalira mfundo zitatuzi pamwambapa, sindinapusitsidwe kuti ndinu wolumikizana naye bwanji, sizichiza banja.
Tsopano kodi ndikopindulitsa kuphunzira maluso olumikizirana pamzere? Kumene! Koma mpaka mutasamalira mfundo zitatu pamwambapa.
5. Kudzidalira komanso kudzidalira
Oo Mulungu wanga, izi zipangitsa ubale uliwonse, banja lililonse kukhala chovuta kwambiri.
Ngati simumva anzanu akutsutsa, sindikunena zofuula ndi kufuula, ndikulankhula zodzudzula zomangika, osatseka. Ichi ndi chitsanzo cha kudzidalira komanso kudzidalira.
Ngati simungathe kufunsa mnzanu, zomwe mumakonda mchikondi, chifukwa mumaopa kukanidwa, kusiyidwa kapena zochulukirapo, ichi ndi chizindikiro chodzidalira komanso kudzidalira.
Ndipo imeneyo ndi “ntchito yanu. Muyenera kuti muzidzigwira nokha ndi akatswiri.
6. Kodi unalakwitsa, ndikukwatira munthu wolakwika?
Kodi mudakwatirana ndi munthu amene amawononga ndalama mwaulere, zomwe zimakupangitsani kuti mukhale pamavuto azachuma, ndipo mumadziwa kuyambira pachiyambi, koma mukuzikana, ndipo tsopano mwasokonekera?
Kapenanso mudakwatirana ndi odya, omwe pazaka 15 zapitazi adapeza mapaundi a 75, koma mumadziwa kuti ndiomwe amadya mwamphamvu ngati mukufuna kukhala achilungamo kwa inu kuyambira tsiku la 30 la chibwenzi.
Kapena mwina chidakwa? Poyambirira, maubale ambiri amachokera ku mowa, ndi njira yochepetsera nkhawa ndikuwonjezera maluso olumikizana ndi anthu ena, koma kodi mudalola kuti izi zichitike kwa nthawi yayitali? Ndilo vuto lanu.
Tsopano, timatani pazovuta zomwe tafotokozazi, ngati mukufuna kukhazikitsa ubale wabwino ndi womwe muli nawo pakadali pano?
Funani thandizo kwa akatswiri
Mulembere ntchito mlangizi waluso kuti muwone ngati mukutsanzira, kubwereza zomwe makolo anu amachita ndipo simukudziwa. Izi zitha kusokonekera, koma muyenera kupeza wina wokuthandizani.
Lembani
Zosasunthika zosasinthika?
Lembani zomwe ali. Pezani momveka bwino. Ngati mwakwiyitsa wokondedwa wanu chifukwa chakusiyani kuphwando, osasamalidwa kwa maola anayi, lembani.
Ngati muli ndi mkwiyo womwe mnzanu amakhala nawo kumapeto kwa sabata yonse akuwonera masewera pa TV, lembani. Chotsani pamutu panu papepala, kenako, gwirani ntchito ndi katswiri kuti muphunzire kumasula mkwiyo mchikondi.
Phunzirani momwe mungayambire kulankhula zakukhosi kwanu
Kuopa kukondana. Kuopa kuwona mtima. Ichi ndichachikulu nawonso.
Muyenera kuphunzira momwe mungayambire kulankhula zakukhosi kwanu moona mtima kwambiri.
Monga njira zina zonse, mwina muyenera kugwira ntchito ndi katswiri kuti mudziwe momwe mungachitire izi kwa nthawi yayitali.
Yambani ndi kufunsa mafunso abwino kwambiri
Kusayankhula bwino.
Njira yabwino kwambiri yoyambira kukonza maluso anu olumikizirana imayamba ndikufunsa mafunso abwino.
Muyenera kudziwa momwe mungamufunsire mnzanu zomwe akufuna, zomwe sakonda, zomwe akufuna kuti muwadziwe mozama.
Kenako, polumikizana, makamaka zomwe zimakhala zovuta, timafuna kugwiritsa ntchito chida chotchedwa "kumvetsera mwachidwi."
Zomwe zikutanthawuza ndikuti, mukamayankhulana ndi mnzanu, ndipo mukufuna kukhala omveka bwino kuti mukumva zomwe akunena, mumabwereza zomwe akunena kuti mutsimikizire kuti mukumveka bwino mu luso lanu lomvetsera, ndipo simukutanthauzira molakwika zomwe akunena.
“Wokondedwa, ndiye zomwe ndakumva ukunenazi ndikuti, wakhumudwitsidwa kwambiri kuti ndimangokakamira kuti ndikudzudzula Loweruka lililonse m'mawa, pomwe mungakonde kudzadula Lamlungu madzulo. Kodi ndi zomwe wakhumudwitsa nazo? "
Mwanjira imeneyi, mumakhala ndi mwayi womveka bwino komanso pamlingo wofanana ndi mnzanu.
Pezani chomwe chimayambitsa kudzidalira kwanu
Kudzidalira komanso kudzidalira. Chabwino, izi sizikugwirizana ndi wokondedwa wanu konse. Palibe.
Apanso, pezani mlangizi kapena mphunzitsi wamoyo yemwe angakuthandizeni kuti muwone ndikupeza chomwe chimayambitsa kudzidalira kwanu komanso kudzidalira, ndikupeza zomwe mungachite sabata iliyonse momwe mungachitire bwino.
Palibe njira ina. Izi sizikugwirizana ndi mnzanu, inu nokha.
Sambani chinyengo
Unakwatira munthu wolakwika. Hei, zimachitika nthawi zonse. Koma si vuto lawo, ndi vuto lanu.
Monga phungu komanso mphunzitsi wa moyo, ndimauza makasitomala anga onse omwe ali pamaukwati osavomerezeka, kuti zomwe akukumana nazo tsopano zikuwoneka kwathunthu m'masiku 90 oyambira chibwenzi.
Anthu ambiri poyamba sagwirizana, koma tikamalemba ntchito yathu yakunyumba, amabwera akupukusa mutu, odabwa kudziwa kuti munthu amene ali naye pakadali pano sanasinthe kwenikweni kuyambira pomwe anali pachibwenzi nawo.
Zaka zingapo zapitazo ndidagwira ndi mkazi, yemwe adakwatirana kwa zaka zopitilira 40, ndinali ndi ana awiri ndi mwamuna wake, ndipo mwamuna wake atapita kumbuyo ndikutenga nyumba, ndikuyamba kukhala kumeneko ndikunena kuti akudwala , adazindikira kuti akuchita chibwenzi.
Idagwedeza dziko lake.
Ankaganiza kuti ali ndi ukwati wangwiro, koma zinali zabodza kwa iye.
Nditamuuza kuti abwerere koyambirira kwa chibwenzi, uyu ndiye yemweyo yemwe amamutengera kuphwando, kumusiya kwa maola ndi maola ali yekha, kenako phwandolo litatha ndikubwera kudzamupeza mumuuze kuti yakwana nthawi yopita kunyumba.
Uyu anali munthu yemweyo yemwe amachoka panyumba nthawi ya 4:30 m'mawa, kumuuza kuti akuyenera kupita kuntchito, abwera kunyumba nthawi ya 6 koloko ndikugona nthawi ya 8 PM. Osagwirizana naye konse.
Kodi mukuwona kufanana kuyambira pomwe adayamba chibwenzi? Sanapezeke mwamalingaliro, mwakuthupi sakupezeka ndipo anali kubwereza machitidwe omwewo mwanjira ina.
Pambuyo pogwirira ntchito limodzi, momwe ndidamuthandizira kupatukana, adachira pasanathe chaka chomwe chikuyenda mwachangu, pozindikira kuti sanasinthe kuyambira pachiyambi, kuti adakwatirana ndi mwamuna wolakwika.
Ngati muwerenga pamwambapa, ndipo mukufunadi kukhala oona mtima kwa inu nokha, mutha kusintha njira yanu yothandizira ubale wanu wachikondi kapena ukwati, ndikuyembekeza kuti mutembenuke mothandizidwa ndi katswiri.
Koma zili ndi inu.
Mutha kudzinenera kuti chilichonse ndi cholakwika cha mnzanu, kapena mutha kuyang'anitsitsa pamwambapa ndikupanga chisankho pazosintha zomwe mukufuna kuti mwapulumutsa ubale wanu ngati zingatheke kusunga. Pitani tsopano