Zamkati
- Umboni wasayansi
- Maubwino asanu okonda mtunda wautali
- 1. Kulankhulana kwabwino
- 2. Kuchulukitsa chilakolako
- 3. Kupanikizika pang'ono
- 4. Nthawi yochulukirapo ya 'inu'
- 5. Kudzipereka kwakukulu
- Momwe iwo omwe sali pachibwenzi chakutali amatha kupindulira
Chikondi cha mtunda wautali nthawi zambiri chimawoneka ngati choyipa pomwe chili ndi phindu lake. Mukamaganiza za momwe timakhalira, timakonda kucheza kangati ndi anthu omwewo komanso momwe timachitira munthu wina ngati mlendo yemwe wagona pakhomo, sizovuta kumvetsetsa. Timakonda anthu m'miyoyo yathu koma chikondi chimenecho sichitanthauza kuti timawafuna nthawi zonse. Ndikukonda mtunda wautali, muli ndi malo omwe amafunikirawo. Omwe ali pachibwenzi chamtali atha kukopeka kwambiri ndi wokondedwa wawo, mchikondi chonse, amatha kulumikizana ndi anzeru ndikusangalala ndi chilakolako chomwe chili padenga ndi ma mile masauzande pakati pawo.
Umboni wasayansi
Malinga ndi kafukufuku wopangidwa ndi gulu lofufuza lotsogozedwa ndi a Queen's University psychologist a Emma Dargie, anthu osakwatirana omwe ali maubale akutali (LDRs) samakhala ndiubwenzi wapansi kuposa omwe samakhala patali ndi ubale. Kafukufuku wokhudza akazi 474 ndi amuna 243 muubwenzi wamtunda wautali komanso akazi 314 ndi amuna 111 omwe amakhala pafupi ndi anzawo apeza kuti onse amachita bwino mofananamo. Chosangalatsa ndichakuti, maanja akutali omwe amakhala moyandikana anali kuchita bwino pankhani yolumikizana, kukondana, komanso kukhutira. Ngati sichoncho umboni wokwanira, kafukufuku wofalitsidwa mu Zolemba Pazoyankhulana mu Juni wa 2013 adapeza kuti ngakhale anthu ambiri amakhulupirira, kukonda mtunda wautali kumatha kukhutiritsa. Nthawi yabwino imakhala yofunika kwambiri kuposa kuchuluka.
Maubwino asanu okonda mtunda wautali
1. Kulankhulana kwabwino
Kuyankhulana ndi nkhani yoyamba mu maubwenzi koma izi sizovuta ndi omwe akutali. Cholinga chake makamaka chifukwa cha onse omwe akuchita zoyesayesa kulumikizana wina ndi mnzake popeza ndiye gwero lawo lalikulu lolumikizana akadali kutali. Kaya kulumikizana kumachitika kudzera pamawu amawu, mameseji, imelo kapena Skype, onse awiri amakonda kulumikizana bwino chifukwa,
1. Mtunda,
2. Omwe ali pachibwenzi chamtunda wautali samacheza pafupipafupi ndi wina wawo wapadera, ndipo
3. Akufuna kuyika miyoyo yawo patebulo kuti okondedwa awo azikhala omasuka ndikukhala paubwenzi wabwino, womasuka, ndi wowona mtima.
Pamodzi ndi kulumikizana kwabwino, kulumikizana kumakhala kopindulitsa. Anthu okwatirana omwe amakhala maubale ataliatali amakhala ndi zokambirana zambiri zomwe zimapangitsa kuti akhalebe ndi mgwirizano wolimba. Komanso, amaphunzira kufotokoza zakukhosi kwawo ndi kumvetsera.Omwe ali mu LDR amagwiritsa ntchito kulumikizana kuti afotokozere zakukhosi kwawo mozama popeza pali kusiyana kwa malo ndikupeza kumvetsetsa kwakukulu chifukwa cha izi.
2. Kuchulukitsa chilakolako
Chikhumbo ndi chikhumbo zimakhalabe ndi moyo ngati maanja sangathe kulumikizana nthawi iliyonse yomwe angafune. Chibwenzi chamtunda wautali chimalimbikitsa magawo azipanga zambiri chifukwa abwenzi amalakalaka mwayi wolumikizana ndipo zimabweretsa madzulo osakumbukika aubwenzi. Izi zimachitika makamaka chifukwa cholakalaka komanso kuyembekezera komwe kumamangira kutali ndi wina ndi mnzake. Chiyembekezo ichi chimaphulika kamodzi anthu awiri akalumikizananso zomwe zikukwaniritsa, zokhutiritsa kwambiri, komanso zotentha kwambiri. Zimakhala zovuta kuti ziphuphu zitheke pamene anthu awiri sakhala nthawi yochuluka limodzi. Kuperewera kwa nthawi kumapangitsa kuti munthu akhale watsopano nthawi zonse amakhala pachibwenzi.
3. Kupanikizika pang'ono
Phindu lodziwika bwino lakukonda mtunda wautali silopanikizika. Pali kulumikizana kwachindunji pakati pa kukhutira ndi ubale ndi kupsinjika. Ofufuza ku Pomona College adasanthula ulalowu poyang'anitsitsa, "kusungitsa ubale" kapena kugwiritsa ntchito zokumbukira kuti azitha kulumikizana mwamphamvu pakakhala kulumikizana pamaso ndi pamaso. Ochita kafukufuku adayika mayeso pamayeso angapo opanikizika m'malo owongoleredwa kuti awone ngati kusungitsa ubale ndi njira yabwino kwambiri yopumulira kupsinjika ndikulingalira chiyani? Zinali. Kutalikirana kumalimbikitsa maanja kuti azilingalira zabwino komanso zabwino zomwe zingachitike m'banja momwe angathere ndikusangalatsa anthu onse omwe akutenga nawo mbali.
4. Nthawi yochulukirapo ya 'inu'
Kuphatikiza kwina kwa chikondi chamtunda wautali ndikukhala ndi nthawi yambiri kwa inu nokha. Kusakhala ndi zina zofunikira kuzungulira nthawi zonse kuli ndi zofunikira zake. Chifukwa cha nthawi yowonjezera yaulere, anthu amakhala ndi maola ochulukirapo kuti awoneke, kulimbitsa thupi, komanso zomwe amakonda kuchita pawokha. Aliyense ayenera kukhala wodzikonda nthawi zina ndipo mu LDRs mulibe chifukwa chomvera. Nthawi yokha imathandiza kwambiri kukhala ndi moyo wabwino komanso mzimu wa munthu. Choperekacho chimalimbikitsa ubale wonse, wachikondi osati ayi.
5. Kudzipereka kwakukulu
Kudzipereka kwa bwenzi lakutali kumafuna kudzipereka kwakanthawi munjira ina. Anthu amakumana ndi mayesero, usiku wosungulumwa komanso nthawi zomwe onse amakhumba wokondedwa wawo kuti akakhale nawo kuti athe kugawana nawo. Pali zovuta zina zakubwenzi kwakutali. Ngakhale poyamba zimawoneka ngati zopinga, ndizofunikanso maubale akutali ndiopadera kwambiri. Kuthetsa zopinga zomwe zimakhudzana ndi ubale wamtunduwu ndikuwonetsa bwino momwe anthu awiri aliri odzipereka wina ndi mnzake. Kutsimikiza mtima kuti zinthu ziziyenda ndi zachikondi kwambiri ndipo ndichinthu chomwe tonse titha kuchotsapo. Maubwenzi apafupi ndi akutali amafunika kuyesetsa kumapeto onse awiri.
Momwe iwo omwe sali pachibwenzi chakutali amatha kupindulira
Omwe sali pachibwenzi chapatali atha kupindula ndi izi pamwambapa podzisunga pawokha. Anthu omwe ali maubwenzi ayenera kupeza malo osangalala pakati pokhala pachibwenzi ndikupanga nthawi yawoyawo. Khalani masiku angapo mutapatukana, pitani paulendo ndi anzanu kapena ingokhalani masiku ochepa sabata kuti mukhale panyumba nokha ndikudziunjikira buku labwino. Kukhala wekha mofanana ndi umunthu wako ndiwathanzi kwambiri ndipo kumapangitsa kuti chikondi chikhale kwanthawi yayitali. Aliyense ayenera kukhala ndi moyo wake. Kuyamikirana pakati pa abwenzi ndikofunikira kwambiri kuposa kutalika kwenikweni. Kuyang'ana zabwino muubwenzi ndikuyamikira mphindi iliyonse limodzi kumathandizira kuti mgwirizano ukhale wolimba.