Zamkati
Pali mitundu yambiri yamaubale osagwira ntchito. M'mitundu yodziyimira payokha, machitidwe omwe amapezeka ndi msampha wopewa kuda nkhawa. Sherry Gaba akufotokozera mwatsatanetsatane mwatsatanetsatane m'buku lake, The Marriage and Relationship Junkie, ndipo ukadziwa msamphawo, ndikosavuta kuwona.
Mphamvu
Mphamvu ya msampha wopewa kuda nkhawa ili ngati njira yokankhira ndi kukoka. Izi ndizo mitundu yonse yolumikizira, ndipo ili kumapeto kwa chiwonetsero wina ndi mnzake.
Wokondedwayo muubwenzi amasunthira mwa mnzake.Ndiwo okondedwa omwe amafuna chisamaliro, amafunikira kukondana ndipo amamva kuti ndi kudzera muubwenzi wapamtima pomwe munthuyu amakhala wokhutira komanso wokhutira ndi ubalewo.
Wopewayo, monga dzina limatanthawuzira, amafuna kuti asamuke pamene akuwopsezedwa chifukwa chodzaza kapena kukakamizidwa muubwenzi. Izi zikuwopseza, ndipo nthawi zambiri zimawoneka kuti anthu awa akulemedwa, kulemedwa kwambiri ndikuwonongedwa ndi munthu wodandaula.
Amawona kuti ataya kudzidalira, kudziyimira pawokha, komanso kudzizindikira momwe wokondedwayo akufuna kuyandikira.
Chitsanzo
Zizindikiro zomwe mungayang'ane kuti muwone ngati muli mumsampha wopewa kuda nkhawa ndi monga:
- Kutsutsana pazachabe - pomwe wokondedwayo sangapeze chikondi ndiubwenzi womwe akufuna kapena kuzindikira kuti wopewayo asamuka, amasankha nkhondo kuti apeze chidwi chomwe akufuna.
- Palibe mayankho - sikuti pali mikangano yambiri pazinthu zazing'ono, koma palibe mayankho. Pothana ndi vuto lenileni, ubale ndikumverera kukhala wopanikizika, sizomwe zimapewedwa. Samafuna kuthana ndi vutoli chifukwa vuto, m'maso mwawo, ndi munthu winayo.
- Nthawi yochulukirapo - wopewayo nthawi zambiri amapanga ndewu kuti athe kupita kwina. Wokhumudwitsidwayo akamakhala wachisoni komanso wokonda kwambiri kukonza chibwenzicho, wopewayo amayamba kuchita nawo zocheperako ndipo amakhala patali kwambiri, mpaka atatha kuchoka ndikupeza kudziyimira pawokha komwe akufuna.
- Zodandaula - kutuluka kwamawu ndi masamba opewera, nkhawa, omwe atha kunena zinthu zankhanza komanso zopweteka, nthawi yomweyo amamva kutayika kwa wokondedwa ndikuyamba kulingalira pazifukwa zonse zomwe amafunikira kuti akhale limodzi. Nthawi yomweyo, wopewayo akuyang'ana kwambiri pazolakwika izi, zomwe zimalimbikitsa malingaliro ofunikira kukhala kutali ndi mnzake.
Nthawi zina, zomwe zimatha kutenga maola kapena masiku kapena kupitilira apo, pali kuyanjanitsidwa. Komabe, wopewayo ali kale patali kwambiri, zomwe zimamupangitsa kuti mnzake yemwe ali ndi nkhawa abwererenso, kenako ndikupanga msampha wopewa nkhawa.
Popita nthawi, kuzungulira kumachuluka, ndipo kuyanjananso kumakhala kofupikitsa kwakanthawi kokwanira.
Chosangalatsa ndichakuti, mu 2009 mu Psychological Science lolembedwa ndi JA Simpson ndi ena, kafukufuku adapeza kuti mitundu yonse iwiri yolumikizira ili ndi njira zosiyana zokumbukira mkangano, mitundu yonse iwiriyo ikukumbukira machitidwe awo moyenera pambuyo pamkangano kutengera zomwe amafunikira ubale.