Zamkati
- Kodi chiopsezo ndi chiyani?
- Ndi chiopsezo chotani chomwe sichiri?
- 16 maubwino okuwopsa pachiwopsezo m'maubwenzi
- 1. Kuchulukitsa mwayi wokwaniritsa zosowa zathu
- 2. Zimatithandiza kuzindikira kuti ndife achilungamo komanso oyenera
- 3. Kumanga kukhulupirirana mu ubale
- 4. Kumakuthandizani kusankha ubale wabwino
- 5. Zimakupangitsani kumva kuti mumathandizidwadi ndikulimbikitsidwa
- 6. Amakulolani kuti mukhale okondedwa
- 7. Mphamvu yaumunthu
- 8. Kuwonjezeka kwaubwenzi
- 9. Kumvera ena chisoni
- 10. Kukulitsa kudzikonda
- 11. Kumverera kukondedwadi ndi umunthu wathu
- 12. Kukhala ndi munthu woyenera pambali pathu
- 13. Zimapanga chidaliro
- 14. Amathandizira kusintha ndi kukula
- 15. Kulimbana ndi kukhumudwa
- 16. Yambitsaninso chibwenzi mutavulala
- Kodi mungasonyeze bwanji kusatetezeka mu ubale wanu?
- 1. Dzichepetseni
- 2. Mvetsetsani chifukwa chomwe mumafunikira makoma okhudzika
- 3. Chepetsani ndikuwona
- 4. Gawanani mavuto anu
- 5. Fotokozani momwe mukumvera komanso zosowa zanu zina
- 6. Funani thandizo
- Landirani chiopsezo m'maubale
Kuwopsa kumawoneka ngati chinthu chofunikira kwambiri m'maubwenzi apamtima komanso okhalitsa. Komabe, zikafika potseguka, tonsefe timavutika.
Timafuna kukondana komanso kulumikizana, komabe nthawi zambiri timaopa kuwululidwa.
Monga anthu, sitinathe kulumikizana ndi ena. Zitha kukhala chifukwa cha maubwino akulu omwe timakumana nawo kwa ife.
Sayansi yatsimikizira zopindulitsa zingapo zamaganizidwe amthupi monga kukhala ndi moyo wautali, zizolowezi zabwino, kuchepetsa nkhawa, komanso kukhala ndi tanthauzo m'moyo.
Komabe, ngakhale tili ndi chidwi chofuna kukondana, nthawi zambiri timakana kukanika pachibwenzi.
Kodi timakhala bwanji otetezeka mchibwenzi, ndipo ndichifukwa chiyani tiyenera kuchifuna? Kodi kusatekeseka kumabweretsa mavuto otani paubwenzi?
Choyamba, tiyeni tifotokoze za kusatetezeka ndi komwe kulibe.
Kodi chiopsezo ndi chiyani?
Chifukwa chake, kusatetezeka kumatanthauza chiyani?
Chimene chimayambitsa chiopsezo ndikusankha kugawana malingaliro ndi zokhumba ndi ena mosasamala kanthu momwe angakuwonereni kapena momwe angachitire.
Kukhala osatetezeka pamaubale kumatanthauza kusankha kuwulula poyera momwe mukumvera ndikunena molimba mtima kuti "Ndimakukondani" poyamba. Kuwonetsa kusatetezeka pachibwenzi kumatanthauza kufotokoza malingaliro, ngakhale sitikudziwa momwe winayo angayankhire.
Kukhala osatetezeka kumatanthauza kukhala okonzeka kukumana ndi ena kapena ngakhale kukanidwa. Ichi ndichifukwa chake kusatetezeka, ngakhale kumveka kosavuta, kumakhala kovuta kwambiri.
Chimene chimayambitsa kusatetezeka mu maubwenzi ndi, kukhala wofunitsitsa kuvomereza zomwe zingachitike chifukwa chotsalira ndikutsitsa khosi lanu, ngakhale simungathe kuwongolera zotsatirazo.
Ngakhale zili pachiwopsezo, kusatetezeka m'maubwenzi ndimomwe kumathandizira kulumikizana komanso kukondana ndipo ndichofunikira kwambiri kuti ubale wabwino ukhalebe.
Ndi chiopsezo chotani chomwe sichiri?
Chiwopsezo chakhala mawu wamba ndipo chimasokonekera pafupipafupi. Chifukwa chake, kusatetezeka kotani komwe sikuli?
Kukhala osatetezeka muubwenzi sizitanthauza kungodzitchinjiriza ndikupatsa munthu zambiri zamunthu.
Kudziwopseza kumatanthauza kuyika pachiwopsezo ndikuwonetsa mbali zathu zakomwe tili ndi chiopsezo choti sangatilandire.
Kukhala pachiwopsezo m'maubwenzi kumatanthauza kuyika pachiwopsezo chomwe ukhoza kukanidwa, koma nkuwulula wekha. Ndizokhudza cholinga cholumikizana ndi wina ndikugawana mbali zathu zakuya, zowona.
Kuchulukitsa, kumbali inayi, kumatha kuwonetsa kuchepa kwa malire m'malo moopsa.
Kuphatikiza apo, kusatetezeka nthawi zambiri kumalumikizidwa ndi kufooka. Komabe, kukhala pachiwopsezo m'maubale ndi chisonyezo cha kulimba mtima.
Mu Daring Greatly, Brene Brown akuti, "Sankhani kulimba mtima m'malo motonthozedwa." Kuopsezedwa ndiko kulimba mtima kupezeka ndikulola ena kutiwona pamene sitingathe kuwongolera chilichonse.
16 maubwino okuwopsa pachiwopsezo m'maubwenzi
Podziwa kuopsa kodzimva okanidwa kapena kuchita manyazi kuti kusatetezeka m'mabanja kumanyamula, bwanji tingasankhe kuvomereza? Chifukwa chiyani kusatetezeka kuli kofunikira?
Mphamvu yakusatetezeka ili ndi zomwe zimakhudza ubale wathu. Kuwonongeka pamaubwenzi kuli ndi maubwino angapo:
1. Kuchulukitsa mwayi wokwaniritsa zosowa zathu
Ngati tingayerekeze kufunsa zomwe tikufunadi, tikhoza kuzipeza. Ngati simufunsapo, yankho lake ndi ayi.
2. Zimatithandiza kuzindikira kuti ndife achilungamo komanso oyenera
Mukayamba kulimbikitsa zosowa zanu, mumayamba kumva bwino za inu nokha. Mumatumizira uthenga wofunika kwa inu nokha, "zosowa zanga ndizofunika, inenso."
3. Kumanga kukhulupirirana mu ubale
Tikawonetsa mnzathu wofewa kwa mnzathu, ndipo atilandira, chikhulupiriro chathu mwa iwo chimakula. Iwo anali ndi ife pamene ife tinkawona opanda chitetezo kwambiri.
4. Kumakuthandizani kusankha ubale wabwino
Kutsegulira wokondedwa ndi umboni weniweni wa kulimba kwa ubale. Momwe mnzanu amakulandirani zenizeni ndi mayeso ofunikira paubwenzi.
Ngati akudziwa kapena akufuna kuphunzira momwe angapezere inu munthawi ya vumbulutso lanu, ubale umayenda bwino.
Ngati iyi siyiyi tiyi wawo, mwina mudzadziwa pa nthawi yake ndikukhala ndi mwayi wosankha mosiyana.
5. Zimakupangitsani kumva kuti mumathandizidwadi ndikulimbikitsidwa
Ubwenzi wapamtima ndi gwero lalikulu la chitonthozo ndi kuneneratu m'dziko lomwe silingachitike.
Titha kungolandira chilimbikitso ndi chitonthozo ngati titi tidziwitse mnzathu zomwe tikukumana nazo.
6. Amakulolani kuti mukhale okondedwa
"Ngati nthawi zonse umavala zophimba kumaso kwa ena, upeza zomwe sukufuna." Ngati mukufuna kudzimva kuti ndinu ovomerezeka ndi ozindikirika, muyenera kuwonetsa zamkati mwanu kuti mwina.
Ngati nthawi zonse mumavala suti yolimba, simudziwa kuti mutha kukondedwa ngakhale mutakhala ofooka.
7. Mphamvu yaumunthu
Ngakhale tikufuna mnzathu awone zabwino mwa ife, kuyesetsa kukhala angwiro nthawi zonse sikungasokoneze ubalewo. Popanda kuloleza kusokonekera muubwenzi, titha kuwoneka ngati akutali kwambiri, opukutidwa, komanso osafikirika.
Kuwonongeka pamaubwenzi kumatichititsa kuti tizisangalala komanso kutipangitsa kuti tizitha kuyanjananso kwambiri. Amatsegula zitseko kuti alumikizane ndipo pamapeto pake amakhala ndiubwenzi wothandizana.
8. Kuwonjezeka kwaubwenzi
Atatha kufunsa mafunso zikwizikwi ngati gawo la kafukufuku wake, Brene Brown adati, "Sipangakhale kuyanjana-kukondana kwamalingaliro, kuyanjana kwauzimu, kukondana kwakuthupi — popanda chiopsezo.”
Ubwenzi wokhalitsa ndi womwe timamva kukhala ogwirizana komanso ogwirizana, ndipo njira yopita kumeneku ndi kudzera pachiwopsezo.
9. Kumvera ena chisoni
Tikamadziwa zochulukira za ena, mantha, ndi zokhumba zawo, ndipamenenso timamvetsetsa malingaliro awo ndikumvera chisoni ndi zomwe akukumana nazo.
Popeza kumvera ena chisoni ndikofunikira kwambiri pakukhutira ndi maubale a nthawi yayitali, titha kunena kuti pachiwopsezo chomwe chilipo, kumvera ena chisoni kumakhalapo, chifukwa chake, kukhutira ndi ubalewo.
10. Kukulitsa kudzikonda
Mnzathu akatithandizira ndikutilandira m'malo athu ovuta komanso osalimba pazinthu zomwe sitimakonda za ife tokha, titha kuyamba kudzilandira tokha chifukwa cha izi.
Popeza timalemekeza malingaliro awo ndipo amatisamalira chifukwa cha momwe ife tilili, titha kuyamba kukumbatira, kupewanso mbali zathu.
Kuyamikiraku kumawonjezera kukhutira ndikukhalitsa kwa ubalewo.
11. Kumverera kukondedwadi ndi umunthu wathu
Momwe mumakhalira okonda, chikondi chomwecho ndi chanu. Mukamatsegulira komanso kuwonetsa chiopsezo, ndiye kuti mungakhale ovomerezeka komanso okondedwa.
Kodi munthu angakonde bwanji zomwe sanazionepo kapena kukumana nazo?
Kulola wokondedwa wathu kuwona zikhumbo zazikulu ndi mantha kumatha kudzetsa kumvetsetsa ndikukondedwa. Ndipo ubale wa khalidweli umatha kukhala ndi moyo wosangalala nthawi zonse.
12. Kukhala ndi munthu woyenera pambali pathu
Ngati mukufuna kuwonetsetsa kuti muli ndi munthu woyenera pambali panu, awonetseni kuti ndinu ndani, ndikuwona momwe amachitira.
Akayamba kukudziwani, mutha kudziwa ngati pali mtundu wa kulandila ndi chithandizo chomwe mukufuna.
Ngati nonse mungalandire chikondi chomwe mukufuna, ndiye njira yopezera ubale wokhalitsa komanso wachimwemwe.
13. Zimapanga chidaliro
Ingoganizirani kugawana zomwe mumakumana nazo zopweteka, kapena mumachita manyazi nazo ndikulandila ndi kutonthozedwa?
Mnzathu akamayandikira mwaulemu komanso moganizira, mantha athu akulu ndi manyazi, titha kuwakhulupirira kwambiri. Ndipo, tonse tikudziwa kuti kudalira ndiko msana waubwenzi wokhalitsa.
14. Amathandizira kusintha ndi kukula
Brene Brown, mu TED Talk yake yotchuka pa mphamvu yowopsa, akuti: "Kuopsezedwa ndi komwe kunayambika luso, luso, komanso kusintha."
Ngati tikufuna ubale wokhazikika, tiyenera kukhala okonzeka kukula ndikusintha limodzi. Moyo umakutumizirani mayesero, ndipo chipiriro cha ubale wanu chimadalira kuthekera kwanu kuzolowera limodzi.
15. Kulimbana ndi kukhumudwa
Kuwonongeka pamaubwenzi kumakhudzanso kufotokoza malingaliro ndi zotsutsana.
Kugawana momwe mumakhudzirana ndichinthu chofunikira pachiwopsezo komanso kiyi waubwenzi wautali komanso wachimwemwe. Kuthawa mikangano sikungathandize kuti ubale ukhale wabwino.
16. Yambitsaninso chibwenzi mutavulala
Mchibwenzi chilichonse chokhalitsa, pamakhala nthawi zomwe mumakhumudwitsana (mwachiyembekezo mosadziwa). Kubwezeretsa pambuyo pa chochitika chonga icho kutha kufulumizitsidwa kudzera pachiwopsezo.
Zikutheka bwanji?
Tikawona kuti wina akumva chisoni ndi zomwe adachita ndikuvomereza momwe watikhumudwitsira, titha kuyamba kudaliranso. Chifukwa chake, kukhala osatetezeka kumathandiza munthu winayo kuwona kuwona mtima pakupepesa kwathu ndi zabwino pazolinga zathu.
Kodi mungasonyeze bwanji kusatetezeka mu ubale wanu?
Ngati mukudabwa momwe mungakhalire osatetezeka muubwenzi ndipo simukudziwa komwe mungayambire, pali njira zokuthandizani paulendowu.
1. Dzichepetseni
Yambani pochita zomwe mungathe, osati ndi zomwe simungakwanitse.
Zikumveka ngati zosavuta, komabe tonsefe timalakwitsa kuyang'ana kwambiri pazomwe sitinakonzekere.
Ngati mukufuna kuti mutsegule zambiri, yambani kukhala pachiwopsezo pafupipafupi. Choyamba, mkati mwanu momwe mumakhalira bwino, kuti mukhale osatetezeka m'maubwenzi, pitilizani kuwongolera, ndikuwongolera tsiku lililonse.
Malire a malo anu abwino adzakulirakulira, ndipo pamapeto pake, mudzakhala mukuchita zinthu zomwe simukanatha kuchita pachiyambi.
2. Mvetsetsani chifukwa chomwe mumafunikira makoma okhudzika
Monga ana, timaphunzira mwa kuyang'anitsitsa. Titha kuganiza kuti tiyenera kudziteteza, ngakhale sizili choncho.
Kodi ndi mauthenga ati ofunikira omwe mudalandira okhudza kutsegulidwa ngati mwana komanso wamkulu? Ndi zifukwa ziti zomwe mukuwona kuti muyenera kupewa kukhala pachiwopsezo cha maubwenzi?
Kudziwa komwe mantha a chiopsezo amachokera kumakuthandizani kuwathetsa.
3. Chepetsani ndikuwona
Ngati mwazolowera kupewa kugawana nawo zakukhosi kwanu, kapena muli ndi chizolowezi chowachepetsa, mutha kuiwala zomwe mukumva.
Yesetsani kukhalapo kwambiri ndikudzifunsa nokha zamomwe mukumvera komanso momwe mumamvera pakadali pano. Lembani, sinkhasinkhani, kapena sankhani chithandizo chamankhwala kuti muwonjezere kumvetsetsa kwanu kwamalingaliro.
4. Gawanani mavuto anu
Pomwe mukuphunzira kukhala omasuka kwambiri, lankhulani ndi mnzanu za zovuta zomwe muli nazo pachiwopsezo cha maubale. Ikawonjezera kuleza mtima kwawo komanso kumvera chisoni.
Ngakhale pakadali pano zomwe mungathe kugawana ndikuti simuli munthu wogawana nawo, pitani. Imeneyi ndi njira yowapatsa zenera laling'ono kudziko lanu lamkati.
5. Fotokozani momwe mukumvera komanso zosowa zanu zina
Khalani owona mtima pamalingaliro anu, zofuna zanu, ndi momwe mumamvera. Gawani pang'ono nthawi iliyonse. Pezani momwe mukumvera kuti muli kunja kwa malo anu abwino koma osamva kuti mukuwonekera.
Kukhala osatetezeka kumatanthauza kugawana momwe mukumvera, choncho yesetsani tsiku ndi tsiku.
Mwayi womwe mungaganizire za munthu amene adakutsegulirani ndikukumbukira kuti mudachitapo kanthu mokoma mtima. Anthu amayankha mwachifundo poyesa kuwopseza.
Khalani ndi malingaliro amenewo mukayamba kuda nkhawa kapena kuyembekezera kukanidwa.
6. Funani thandizo
Mukamayesetsa kupempha thandizo, mudzawonjezeranso thandizo. Ndipo izi zikuthandizani kufunsa ndikugawana zambiri.
Komanso, zimakhala zosavuta kufotokozera nkhawa zanu, kusadzidalira ndi wokondedwa wanu ndikupanga chibwenzi.
Ngati mukuvutika, nthawi zonse pamakhala thandizo la akatswiri. Katswiri wazamisala atha kukuthandizani kuvumbula zomwe zimayambitsa mantha anu ndikuyamba kutsegula zambiri kuti mukwaniritse ubale wanu.
Landirani chiopsezo m'maubale
Kufunika kokhala pachiwopsezo m'mabanja kumakhudza momwe zimakhudzira ubale wathu. Kuwonetsa kusatetezeka muubwenzi kumatithandiza kukulitsa chidaliro, kukondana, kudzikonda, ndikumverera kuti ndife oyamikiridwa komanso ozindikirika.
Lingaliro la kulumikizana kwakuya ndiubwenzi ndizotheka ngati tili ofunitsitsa kukhala pachiwopsezo chotseguka komanso osatetezeka.
Ambiri a ife timakhala ndi mantha ozama, osazindikira za chiopsezo m'mabanja. Ngati mukuganiza momwe mungafotokozere kusatetezeka, simuyenera kudziwa mayankho onse. Ingotenga gawo limodzi panthawi.
Palibe amene adachita bwino usiku umodzi, chifukwa chake dzichitireni zabwino ndikudziwitsani za zovuta zomwe muli nazo ndi mnzanu.
Khalani olimba mtima kuti mudziwulule pang'ono tsiku lililonse ndi anthu omwe mumawakonda, ndipo kutseguka uku kulimbitsa kulumikizana kwanu.