Zamkati
Mukukonzekera kuzungulira 3 ndipo mwatopa. Inu ndi mnzanu mwakhala mukumenyera nkhondoyi pazomwe zimawoneka kwanthawizonse ndipo zikuwoneka ngati mupita patali. Kuzungulira kulikonse komwe kumabwera ndikudutsa sikupanga kanthu koma kumakulirakulira mphindi iliyonse. Mukufika poti zimawoneka kuti palibe yankho. Kenako mumadzifunsa kuti, "Kodi izi zigwira ntchito?" Mumasewera ubalewo m'mutu mwanu ndikuyamba kukayikira ngati zikhala bwino.
Kuyankhulana pakati pa abwenzi kungakhale kuvina kosakhwima. Pamodzi, kulumikizanako kumatha kuwoneka kokongola komanso kogwirizana. Koma atangolumikizana pang'ono, awiriwa atha kukhala kuti akuvutika kuti ayimenso ndikuyimba. Nanga chimachitika ndi chiyani mnzanu akuvina waltz pomwe wina akuvina tango? Imakhala chiwonetsero chimodzi ndipo imatha kupangitsa owonerera kukhala osasangalala komanso omangika. Ndipo ovina amatha kukhumudwa komanso kutopa.
Olankhula zamaganizidwe ndi kuzindikira
Anthu amalankhulana m'njira zosiyanasiyana. Talingalirani lingaliro lamalankhulidwe am'maganizo ndi ozindikira. Olumikizana nawo pamalingaliro amafotokoza okha kutengera momwe akumvera, kumasulira kwawo, ndi "mtima" wawo. Amatha kuwonetsa momwe akumvera m'mawu, komanso, mopanda mawu, kuwonetsa machitidwe monga kulira, kuseka ndipo, nthawi zina, kufuula (kutchula ochepa). Kuyang'ana kwambiri kumatha kukhala pazokhudza m'malo momwe zinthu zilili. Olankhula mwanzeru amalankhula okha kutengera zenizeni, zomveka komanso zomveka. M'malo mongoyang'ana momwe zinthu zimawakhudzira, olankhula mozindikira adzawongolera mayankho ndi mfundo. Amatha kuwonetsa malingaliro awo ndi zonena zawo, koma atha kuwonetsa kulumikizana kopanda mawu pofotokoza kusokonezeka kwawo ndikukhumudwitsidwa.
Tiyeni tiwone chochitika chotsatirachi: Makolo a mwana wachinyamata sagwirizana momwe angamulangize akabwera kunyumba mphindi 15 pambuyo pofika panyumba. Amayi, pokhulupirira kufunikira kokhala ndi malire osasunthika, amayesetsa kukhazikitsa mwana wawo wamwamuna kumapeto kwa sabata lathunthu. Abambo, pokhulupirira kuti amvetsetsa chilichonse podziyimira pawokha kuti azindikire zomwe zingachitike, akuwauza kuti amuchenjeze ndikuchotsa foni yake usiku umodzi. Amayi amawoneka okhumudwa, amadzudzula amuna awo kuti samamuthandizira komanso samanyalanyaza chibadwa cha makolo awo. Abambo, akuwoneka osokonezeka, akulongosola kuti mwanayo anali ndi chifukwa chomveka chochedwerako lero ndipo anali ndi mayendedwe abwino mpaka usiku uno. Amakangana ndipo kulumikizana kumakulirakulira. Mayiyo, tsopano akulira, amadzichotsa pa zokambiranazo ndikupita kuchipinda chake, ndikutseka ndikutseka chitseko kumbuyo kwake. Abambo, powona momwe akazi awo amawonera ngati akusowa malo, amakweza phewa lawo ndikuyamba kuwonera kanema wawayilesi. Amapita kukagona osagwirizana komanso osasangalala. Kuyankhulana kwatha.
(Chonde dziwani chodzikanira chotsatirachi: Sikuti izi zimangotanthauza kuti azimayi ndi omwe amakhala olumikizana kwambiri ndipo amuna amatha kukhala ozindikira. akulimbikitsidwa kwambiri kuti kulanga mwana kumakhala kothandiza kwambiri ngati kumachitika mogwirizana komanso ovomerezeka akuvomereza).
Zikatero, ngakhale pali chochitika chimodzi chokhwima, pali zokambirana ziwiri zosiyana komanso zosiyana zomwe zikuchitika. Mayi, pamenepa, akulimbikitsa kutsimikizika ndi mgwirizano. Cholinga chake chachikulu ndikuwonetsa momwe akumvera kuti sanamveke. Bamboyo akukangana za malingaliro ake pa njira yabwino kwambiri yothetsera vutoli ndi kulanga mwana wawo m'njira yoyenera. Chithunzi cha waltz. Tango. Zonse pamodzi fiasco yosokoneza, yopanda tanthauzo, yosasinthika komanso yosokoneza.
Ziyankhulo Zachikondi
Gary Chapman adazindikira zilankhulo zisanu zachikondi zomwe zingakhudze ubale wa anthu: mawu ovomereza, ntchito zotumizira, kulandira mphatso, nthawi yabwino, komanso kukhudzidwa. Zinenerozi ndizosiyana pakati pa anthu ndipo zimafotokozera momwe amawonetsera chikondi ndikuyembekezera chikondi kuchokera kwa ena. Monga momwe amalumikizirana mwamalingaliro ndi kuzindikira, abwenzi amathanso kusiyanasiyana m'zilankhulo zawo zachikondi, zomwe zimatha kukhudza kulumikizana kwawo komanso ubale wawo. Mawu otsimikiza amatanthauza kugwiritsa ntchito mawu achikondi ndi chibwenzi. Ntchito zantchito zimatanthawuza zikhalidwe zomwe munthuyo angachite pofuna kuwonetsa chisamaliro chake ndi chikondi chake. Kulandira mphatso sikutsindika kukondetsa chuma, koma kumangoganizira za kulingalira komwe kumatanthauza pakupereka ndikulandila zisonyezo zachikondi. Nthawi yabwino ingaphatikizepo nthawi yosadukidwa limodzi kuti ilumikizane. Kukhudza kwakuthupi kumatanthawuza zizolowezi zomwe zimawonetsa kukondana komanso chidwi.
Zinenero zachikondi muubwenzi zitha kukhala zosiyana, zomwe zimatha kukopa mwayi wolumikizana. Mwachitsanzo, mnzake atha kutanthauzira chikondi ndi mawu achikondi motero amayembekezera mawu otere kuchokera kwa wokondedwa wawo. Wokondedwa wawo, kumbali inayo, atha kugwiritsa ntchito ntchito ngati chizindikiro cha kudzipereka kwake ndi chikondi. Wakale sangatanthauzire zomwe mnzake akuchita kuti ayeretse galimoto yake kapena kupinda kuchapa ngati chisonyezo chachikondi ndipo amadzimva kuti ali kutali komanso sakondedwa. Wokondedwa wake atha kudzimva wopanda pake kapena kuchepetsedwa chifukwa zomwe amachitazo sizizindikirika kapena zimatsimikizika. Momwemonso, pachitsanzo chomwe chaperekedwa koyambirira kwa makolo omwe akuyesera kulanga mwana wawo, mayiyo atha kudzimva kuti alibe ntchito chifukwa mnzake wayamba kuwonera masewera ake; komabe, zolinga zake zachokera pamalo abwino, popeza amatanthauzira mayendedwe ake ngati pempho lachinsinsi komanso malo.
Kodi izi zikutanthauza kuti okwatirana omwe ali ndi mayendedwe osiyana amayenera kulephera? Ayi sichoncho. Malinga ndi malingaliro anzeru, malingaliro abwino ndi omwe amaphatikiza kutengeka ndi malingaliro, pambuyo pake. Ndiye zingagwire ntchito bwanji? Kuyesera izi kungakhale kothandiza:
1. Landirani kuti mumalankhulana mosiyanasiyana.
Chinachake chosavuta monga kuvomereza chingapangitse ziyembekezo zenizeni za wina ndi mnzake. Kuvomereza kumatanthauzanso kuzindikira kuti simungasinthe machitidwe ndi malingaliro amunthu wina. Kusokonekera kwa kulumikizana kumatha kuyambika pamene wina ayesa kuti mnzake amvetsetse momwe akumvera pomwe winayo akuvutikira kutsimikizira kulingalira kwa mayankho ake.
2. Kutsimikizika sikutanthauza kumvetsetsa.
"Ndikupeza kuti wakwiya" sizikutanthauza kuti "Iwe ayenera kwiyani ”kapena“ ndimapeza bwanji wakwiya ”. Kutsimikizira kumangotanthauza kuti mukuzindikira mfundo yomwe mnzanu akufuna kuyikapo. Mwina simukuvomereza. Mutha kuganiza kuti ndizoseketsa kapena zosafunikira. Koma mukuvomereza kuti mukumvetsera.
3. Khalani ndi nthawi yolankhula zonse masitaelo.
Khalani ndi nthawi yolankhula zakumverera komwe kwafotokozedwazo ndikupatseni nthawi yoti muthe kulingalira komwe kwadziwikanso. Pochita izi, mumakulitsa mwayi wothetsera mgwirizano komanso mgwirizano. Mukuchita zachilungamo kwa wina ndi mnzake. Mumakhalanso ogwirizana. Osewera osagonjetsedwa a timapepala. Chilichonse chomwe mungafune kudzitcha nokha.
4. Nthawi zina umakhala uthenga ndipo ayi yobereka.
Nthawi zina, zimakhala zosavuta kuti tizingoyang'ana pamakhalidwe m'malo mongotengera uthenga kapena cholinga. Titha kutanthauzira kuyanjana kutengera zikhulupiriro zathu ndi zikhalidwe zathu m'malo mongoyang'ana malongosoledwe ena omwe akukhudzana ndi zikhulupiriro za anzathu. Kukumbutsa tokha kuti zochita kapena zochita za anzathu nthawi zambiri sizinapangitse kuti pakhale nkhanza kapena kupweteka kungakhale kovuta kuchita wen malingaliro athu amakula.Koma zitha kukhala zothandiza kuchotsa zolepheretsa kulumikizana zomwe zingapewedwe.
5. Onetsani kuyamikira.
Khalani ndi nthawi yosonyeza kuyamika wina ndi mzake chifukwa choganizira malingaliro kapena malingaliro kunja kwanu. Nenani “zikomo” pomvera.
Kukhala ndi mayankhulidwe osiyanasiyana kumatha kupatukana komanso kulimbitsa ubale wanu. Mutha kudziwononga nokha kapena kuthandizana wina ndi mnzake. Sichikhala chopanda chiyembekezo kapena choyenera kukhala cholephera. Kukhala pachibwenzi, ngakhale kumakhala kosangalatsa komanso kosangalatsa, kumafunanso kuti munthu aliyense azikhala pachiwopsezo chomwe sichingakhale chovuta. Sitikufuna kuvulazidwa koma nthawi zina timadzisiya tokha kuti tichite izi. Ndipamene kudalirana kumabwera ndikumangidwapo. Komabe, ngakhale tili mu mgwirizano ndi wina, tidakali anthu omwe tapanga njira zathu zoyankhulirana ndi moyo wathu wonse, kutengera zomwe takumana nazo ndi abale, abwenzi, ogwira nawo ntchito, komanso alendo. Mitunduyi idakhazikika mwa ife ndipo silingathe kusintha.
Pozindikira kuti njira zolankhulirana zimasiyana, mukuvomereza kuti mutha kukhala ndi mphamvu muvina imodzi ndipo mnzanuyo akhoza kukhala wamphamvu mu ina. Komabe, mukamavina limodzi, mukugwiritsa ntchito mphamvu zanu zonse kuwonetsa fluidity komanso chisomo.