Zamkati
- 1. Mawu otanthauzira ndi ofunika
- 2. Khalani nawo
- 3. Pitirizani kudziwana
- 4. Khalani ndi nthawi yocheza komanso kutuluka kuchipinda
- 5. Dzisamalire wekha
- 6. Gawanani zosangalatsa pamodzi
Kumayambiriro kwaubwenzi wanu, milingo ya chikondi cha Eros ndiyolimba. Agiriki akale adalongosola Eros ngati kutengeka ndi kukopa komwe kumagawana pakati pa anthu awiri. Timapeza mawu oti 'erotic kuchokera ku liwu eros.
Izi zimatha kukhala mwezi umodzi mpaka kumapeto, kutengera momwe banjali limagwirira ntchito kuti moto ukhalebe wamoyo. Komabe, ngati apita, amatha kupangitsa zinthu kukhala zosasangalatsa.
Munthawi imeneyi, banja lingasankhe kupatukana posaka kupeza wina watsopano yemwe angafune. Koma, kodi izi ziyenera kukhala momwe zimathera? Ayi sichoncho!
Maanja atha kupanga chikondi chawo kukhala kwamuyaya ngati ali okonzeka kugwiritsa ntchito nthawi yawo, khama lawo, ndi kudzipereka kwawo kukhala ndi wokondedwa wawo.
Kodi chikondi chenicheni chimamwalira? Osati ngati nonse awiri muli ofunitsitsa kuyesetsa.
1. Mawu otanthauzira ndi ofunika
Kodi ndinu banja la "Ife" kapena "Ine"?
Momwe maanja amazindikira kuti ali pachibwenzi amakhudzana kwambiri ndi momwe chikondi chawo chingakhalire. Kafukufuku wofalitsidwa ndi Psychol Aging adapeza kuti matchulidwe amunthu atha kukhala ndi tanthauzo lalikulu pamabanja.
Iwo omwe amagwiritsa ntchito mawu oti "Ife" monga "Tikukonzekera tchuthi" kapena "Timakonda nyumba yathu kwambiri!" motsutsana ndi "Ndikupita kutchuthi ndi mwamuna wanga / mkazi wanga" kapena "Ndimakonda nyumba yanga" zidachulukana mogwirizana.
Kafukufukuyu akuti omwe ali ndi mawu oti "ife" anali ndi malingaliro abwino komanso ochepetsa nkhawa komanso amachepetsa mtima, pomwe iwo omwe amangodzilankhulira okha amawonetsa kukhumudwa ndikukhala osakhutira m'banja.
Chikondi chenicheni chimakhalapo pamene okwatirana amaganizirana ngati gulu ndipo, nthawi yomweyo, samataya mtima pakukondana.
2. Khalani nawo
Kafukufuku wa achikulire okwatira 243 adapeza kuti anzawo omwe amathera nthawi yochuluka pafoni amatha kunyalanyaza anzawo. Izi tsopano zikutchedwa "kuphulika." Kafukufuku akuwonetsa kuti kuchitira nkhanza kumalumikizidwa kwambiri ndi kuwonjezeka kwa kukhumudwa komanso kuchepa kwa chisangalalo chaukwati.
Nthawi yotsatira mukamayesera kulankhulana ngati banja, kuthetsa mavuto, kapena kungokambirana za tsiku lanu limodzi, sonyezani mnzanu kuti ali ndi chidwi chanu chonse mwa kuyika foni yanu kutali.
Kuwomba kumawoneka ngati kochepa, koma kumatha kupanga chikondi chenicheni kufa, ngakhale mutakhala pafupi ndi mnzanu kamodzi.
3. Pitirizani kudziwana
Ziwerengero zikuwonetsa kuti anthu ambiri atha kutha banja atakhala zaka zisanu ndi zitatu ali m'banja. Chifukwa chiyani zili choncho?
Monga tanenera koyambirira, panthawi yoyamba yaubwenzi watsopano, chikondi chimayimira neurotransmitter yotchedwa dopamine, yomwe imalimbikitsa malo osangalatsa aubongo. Izi, limodzi ndi serotonin, zimakukokerani mumtima mwanu mwachinyengo.
Koma pakapita nthawi, zotsatira za dopamine zimayamba kuchepa. Izi zitha kuyambitsa kusungulumwa muubale.
Njira imodzi yomwe ingakuthandizeni kuti muzitsitsimula muubwenzi wanu ndikupitiliza kumudziwa bwino mnzanuyo.
Zolemba za Schwartz,
"Chomwe chimapangitsa kuti chikondi chikhale chamoyo ndikumatha kuzindikira kuti simumamudziwa bwino mnzanuyo komanso kuti muli ndi chidwi chofuna kuphunzira komanso mukufufuzabe."
Funsani mnzanu mafunso. Mwina mudamvapo mayankho kale, koma funsani mwachidwi ndikumudziwanso mnzanuyo. Mungadabwe ndi zomwe mumaphunzira.
4. Khalani ndi nthawi yocheza komanso kutuluka kuchipinda
Kugwiritsa ntchito nthawi yabwino ndi mnzanu ndikofunikira kwambiri kuti moto ukhalebe.
Mabanja ambiri amapindula chifukwa chokhala ndi tsiku lokhala ndi tsiku. Uwu ndi usiku umodzi pa sabata (kapena osachepera, kamodzi pamwezi) pomwe maanja amaika ntchito pambali ndikuthawa ana kuti akakhale ndi nthawi yofunika kwambiri ngati zibwenzi zachikondi, osati kungogonera kapena "amayi ndi abambo." ” Pomwe pali ana m'banja, chilichonse chimazungulira ana. Zimakupangitsani kudzifunsa kuti, kodi chikondi chenicheni chimamwalira ana akabwera? Zitha kutero ngati simukumbukira mokwanira.
Kafukufuku wopangidwa paubwino wamadzulo usiku adapeza kuti maanja omwe amakhala ndi chibwenzi usiku nthawi zambiri samatha kusudzulana. Adawonekeranso achikondi champhamvu, chisangalalo, kukhutitsidwa ndi kugonana ndikulimbikitsanso maluso awo olumikizirana.
Kafukufukuyu adawonetsa kuti maanja amapindula kwambiri pomwe madeti awo amaposa "chakudya chamadzulo komanso kanema" wamba.
Kuyesa zinthu zatsopano limodzi ndi njira yayikulu kwambiri yomwe maanja amakhala osangalala komanso olumikizana.
Sikuti izi zimangokhala ndi maubwino ambirimbiri azaumoyo monga kukhala ndi thanzi lamtima, kupsinjika, komanso kusinthasintha kwamalingaliro, koma kafukufuku akuwonetsa kuti maanja omwe amalankhula zakugonana amakhala ndi zikhutiro zabwino zakugonana komanso banja labwino.
5. Dzisamalire wekha
Mnzanu akakuwonani, mumafuna kuti amve kukhumbira koopsa kwa inu. Mumafuna kuti azimva kukopeka nanu mkati ndi kunja. Chifukwa chake, siziyenera kunena kuti ngati mukufuna kusunga chidwi cha mnzanu kwa zaka zambiri, muyenera kuganizira zodzisamalira. Chitani zinthu monga:
- Valani zovala mukamapita limodzi
- Pitirizani kudzikongoletsa
- Gwiritsani ntchito zonunkhiritsa
- Samalani kwambiri za ukhondo wam'kamwa
- Chitani masewera olimbitsa thupi nthawi zonse
Izi ndizofunikira pakusamalira mawonekedwe anu, koma kudzisamalira kumatanthauza kuyang'ana thanzi lanu lamaganizidwe ndi malingaliro.
Mabanja amapinduladi akamagwiritsa ntchito nthawi yabwino limodzi, koma nthawi yokhayokha ndiyofunikira.
Chikondi chimakula bwino anthu akamvetsetsa kufunika kokhala ndi malo awoawo, nthawi yomweyo, ndikupatsa mnzake.
Kukhala ndi nthawi yopatula nthawi zina kumathandizira kukulitsa kudzidalira kwanu. Gwiritsani ntchito nthawi ino kuchita zinthu zomwe zimakusangalatsani. Yambirani zomwe mumakonda, anzanu, ndipo tsatirani zokonda zanu. Makhalidwewa ndi omwewo omwe anapangitsa mnzanu kukondana nanu mukakumana koyamba.
6. Gawanani zosangalatsa pamodzi
Malinga ndi Institute for Family Study, zifukwa zomwe zimasudzulana ndi kusakhulupirika, kumwa mowa kapena kugwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo, kulekana, komanso kusagwirizana.
Njira imodzi yothandiza kuti mabanja asatengeke ndi kucheza pamodzi nthawi zonse. Osangokhala usiku, koma pogawana ndikupanga zosangalatsa limodzi.
Kodi chikondi chenicheni chitha kufa mukamakonda zinthu zomwezi ndikukonda kucheza limodzi?
Chabwino, ndizochepa!
Magazini a SAGE mwachisawawa amapatsa okwatirana kuti azichita zinthu limodzi kwa maola 1.5 pa sabata kwamasabata 10. Zochitikazo zimatanthauzidwa ngati zosangalatsa kapena zosangalatsa. Zotsatira za maanja omwe amagwirira ntchito limodzi ndikuchita zochitika 'zosangalatsa' zidawonetsa kukhutira kwambiri m'banja kuposa omwe adapatsidwa ntchito 'zosangalatsa'.
Zotsatira zake ndizowonekeratu: zochita zomwe zimagawidwa zimalimbikitsa kukhutira ndi banja.
Omwe akufuna kuti zinthu ziziyenda bwino m'banja lawo amalimbikitsidwa kuti aziphunzira pafupipafupi. Kulimbikitsidwa kwa oxytocin sabata iliyonse kudzakuthandizani inu ndi mnzanu kuti muzilumikizana komanso kulumikizana. Chikondi chenicheni chimamwalira ngati maanja samagwiritsa ntchito nthawi yawo pokondana.
Kukhala ndi chidwi chofuna kudziwa za wokondedwa wanu, kucheza limodzi, komanso kuyesa zosangalatsa monga banja ndi njira zina zitatu zothandiza kuti chikondi chanu chikhalebe chamoyo.