Zamkati
Ndizowona. Sayenera kukhala yovuta kuvomereza chifukwa ndi chowonadi chenicheni.
Mabanja 80% ku United States of America ali pamaubwenzi osavomerezeka, alibe thanzi, ndipo mwina sangasinthe.
Kodi chifukwa choyamba ndi chiyani?
Kwa zaka 30 zapitazi, wolemba, mlembi, komanso mtumiki woyamba kugulitsa kwambiri David Essel akhala akuthandiza anthu ndi mabanja kuti adziwe chifukwa chake maubwenzi ali owopsa, komanso chifukwa chake izi zikuchitika masiku ano.
Pansipa, David amagawana malingaliro ake pazomwe tiyenera kuchita kuti tithetse ziwerengero zoyipa zaubwenzi wathu.
Chifukwa chake
"Kodi mudamvapo pomwe anthu amati, pambuyo pa ubale wina walephera," Ndiyenera kukhala ndi wosankha koyipa "?
Ndizotuluka. Pali chowonadi pang'ono, koma makamaka ndikutulutsa.
Ndiye ndichifukwa chani chomwe chimatipangitsa kuti tizipitilizabe kukhala osagwirizana?
Nayi yankho, kaya mukufuna kumva kapena ayi.
Zilibe kanthu kochita ndi "wosankha ubale" wanu.
Zilibe kanthu kochita ndi zomwe anthu ambiri amati ndikuti akazi amangofuna kuthandizidwa pazachuma, ndipo amuna amangofuna zogonana.
Koma zili ndi chilichonse chokhudzana ndi izi: timakana kubwerera m'mbuyo, kuyang'ana pagalasi, ndikuyang'ana momwe takhala tikubwerezera mwina kuyambira tsiku lathu loyamba, zomwe sizinatithandizepo.
Kodi izi ndi zomveka?
Chifukwa chimodzi chomwe timathera mu kusagwirizana. Ndife!
Sikuti sitingapeze amuna kapena akazi abwino, kapena sitingathe kusankha amuna kapena akazi abwino, kapena tsogolo la chikondi silili mbali yathu.
Kungoti ndife aulesi kuthera nthawi, khama, ndi ndalama kuti tiziyang'ana pagalasi kuti tidziwe zomwe tikulakwitsa mobwerezabwereza.
Ndimawakonda mawuwa, "inu nokha ndiye amene mumakhala mu ubale wosasinthasintha"
Ndizowona, ndipo palibe amene akufuna kuvomereza.
Onerani kanema waifupi wa David Essel pazomwe mungachite ngati muli pachibwenzi chachikondi.
Njira zosatha zosokoneza ubale
M'buku lathu logulitsa kwambiri, "Zinsinsi za chikondi ndi maubwenzi Zomwe aliyense ayenera kudziwa!" Tikupita mwatsatanetsatane pofotokozera momwe machitidwe osakhazikika ndi machitidwe omwe timapitilira patsogolo m'moyo, adzatilosera kuti tidzakhala mgwilizano mtsogolo mtsogolo.
Zitsanzo, zomwe zimakhazikitsidwa m'maganizo osazindikira, zimatipangitsa kuti tisayang'ane chowonadi, kutisokoneza kuti tisayang'ane pagalasi, komanso kutilepheretsa kulemba akatswiri ngati ine, kutithandizira kufikira pazifukwa zazikulu zomwe maubwenzi achikondi amayamwa.
Mitunduyi imatha kukupatsani kuyambira ubwana, mosazindikira mwalowa mchikumbumtima chanu pamene mukuwonerera amayi ndi abambo anu akumenya nkhondo, akukangana, kukhala opanda chidwi wina ndi mnzake, kukhala odalirana, komanso kunyozana wina ndi mnzake.
Kapenanso munali ndi makolo omwe sanakhudze thupi, opanda chikondi, komanso opanda mawu otsimikizira.
Chabwino, mwina mudzatuluka munthawiyo ndikubwereza chimodzi kapena zonse zomwe makolo anu amaphunzitsa, ndipo zonsezi zimangokhala m'maganizo osazindikira.
Kumbukirani, timadyetsa chikumbumtima mwa kukhala m'malo omwe alibe thanzi.
Chifukwa chake ngati mwakhalapo muubwenzi umodzi, awiri, kapena khumi osavomerezeka ndipo simunapiteko kwa mlangizi ndikugwirapo ntchito kuti mupeze zomwe mukuchita, zomwe mumalakwitsa, machitidwe amenewo amakhalabe osazindikira, ndipo muzibwereza.
Koma kudzera mu ntchito ndi mlangizi kapena wothandizira kapena wothandizira maubwenzi, mutha kuyamba kuwona momwe njira zomwe mumayambira kuyambira ubwana mpaka ana anu kapena mwina masiku anu aku koleji akuwononga ubale wabwino.
Kusintha kachitidwe
Palibe amene akufuna kuti achepetseko ndikupuma patatha chibwenzi chomwe sichinayende bwino kuti awone udindo wathu ndi chiyani kuti ndituluke muubwenzi wosavomerezeka.
Tikadakonda kuloza chala ndikuwapangitsa kuti awoneke ngati ndi vuto la mnzake, kenako timapita ndikungobwereza zoipa zomwezo mobwerezabwereza!
Aliyense angathe sintha malingaliro am'malingaliro kudzera mothandizidwa ndi akatswiri omwe amafunadi.
Chifukwa chake ngati mwakonzeka kukondana kwambiri, konzekerani kutenga miyezi isanu ndi umodzi, osakhala pachibwenzi konse, ndipo gwirani ntchito ndi katswiri kuti mufike pachimake pazovuta zanu.
"Mukakonza zovuta zanu, mumatsegula khomo kuti Chikondi chiphulike."
Ntchito ya David Essel'yi imavomerezedwa kwambiri ndi anthu monga malemu Wayne Dyer komanso wotchuka Jenny Mccarthy akuti, "David Essel ndiye mtsogoleri watsopano wamaganizidwe abwino."
Ntchito yake ngati phungu komanso mtumiki yatsimikiziridwa ndi Psychology Today ndi Marriage.com zatsimikizira David ngati m'modzi mwa alangizi apamwamba komanso akatswiri pazamaubwenzi padziko lapansi.
Kuti mugwire ntchito ndi David kulikonse kudzera pafoni kapena pa Skype kuti moyo wanu wachikondi ubwerere, pitani ku www.davidessel.com.