Zamkati
- Kujambula mzere pakati pa chikondi cha pabanja ndi ubale wolimba
- Kuchotsa mawilo ophunzitsira
- Kupita kumalo okwirira
Kuchuluka kwa chinthu chabwino ndikoipa. Ndi mwambi wakale womwe umagwira pazinthu zambiri, kuphatikizapo chikondi. Chibwenzi cholimbikitsidwa ndi pamene munthu m'modzi amakonda wina mopitirira muyeso kotero kuti zimawachotsera moyo.
Poyamba, okonda malingaliro ndi okonda zachikondi anganene kuti ndiyo njira yokhayo yowonana.Mwanjira ina, iwo akulondola, koma mwakuthupi lakukula kwa munthu payekha komanso tanthauzo lagolide, amakhala kumapeto kwenikweni.
Kuperewera kwa malire omveka bwino kumatanthauzira ubale wolimba.
Achibale akuyenera kukondana ndikumverana wina ndi mnzake. Komabe, pomwe malire aumwini sakhalapo pakati pawo, umakhala ubale wosasunthika.
Kodi ubale wokhazikika ndi chiyani ndipo chifukwa chiyani pali malingaliro olakwika pankhaniyi?
Kujambula mzere pakati pa chikondi cha pabanja ndi ubale wolimba
Nawu mndandanda wazizindikiro kuti muli pachibwenzi malinga ndi a Ross Rosenberg, katswiri wama psychotherapist yemwe amachita bwino maubwenzi.
- Dziko lanu limazungulira munthu m'modzi. Mumanyalanyaza maubwenzi ena kupatula omwewo.
- Chimwemwe chanu komanso kudzidalira kwanu kumadalira chisangalalo cha munthu m'modzi. Mumamva chilichonse chomwe akumva.
- Simuli amphumphu ngati pali kusamvana ndi munthu ameneyo. Mungapereke chilichonse kuti mupange zinthu.
- Mumakhala ndi nkhawa yodzipatula mukakhala kutali ndi munthuyo kwakanthawi kochepa.
Chimodzi mwazovuta zazikulu zaubwenzi wolimba ndikuti anthu omwe akuvutika ndi matendawa ndiye omaliza kuzindikira, ndipo akazindikira, sadzapeza cholakwika chilichonse.
Ndizovuta kufotokoza chifukwa chake kulakwa kuti aliyense azikonda kwambiri mabanja awo. Koma malinga ndi Rosenberg, malire omwe anthu omwe ali muubwenzi omwe amawavutitsa amawapangitsa kukhala otayika ndikukhala akapolo a ubalewo.
Palinso nthawi zina pamene kukanika kumafalikira kunja kwa chibwenzi ndikuwononga mbali zina za moyo wawo. Mapeto ake, m'modzi kapena onse awiri omwe ali pachibwenzi chokhazikika amatha kutaya chilichonse chifukwa cha iwo.
Kukopa anthu mkati mwaubwenzi kotero kuti akuyang'ana mtsogolo lodzipatula komanso kusokonekera, ambiri aiwo sangasamale. Anthu omwe ali pachibwenzi chotere amaika patsogolo ubale wawo wolimbikitsidwa padziko lonse lapansi. Popeza ndi banja, mwanjira ina, zimakhala zomveka.
Mabanja samawona malire aliwonse. M'malo mwake, banja lachikondi liyenera kukhala ndi zochepa kwambiri. Awa ndiye mapulani akuwukira, gwiritsani ntchito chikondi chomwecho chomwe chimawasokoneza ndikusintha kukhala ubale wabwino.
Kuchotsa mawilo ophunzitsira
Ana onse amaphunzira kuyenda polola dzanja la kholo lawo. Chimwemwe cha kholo ndi mwana pomwe mwana adatenga gawo lawo loyamba ndichimodzi mwazinthu zabwino kwambiri padziko lapansi.
Akatswiri azamaganizidwe monga Rosenberg, amakhulupirira kuti kudalira kukhazikika ndi kusokoneza ndikosavomerezeka chifukwa kumalepheretsa kukula kwamunthu. Zimatero osalola dzanja lamwana, ndipo samaphunzira kuyenda okha. Mwanayo adzadutsa njinga zamoto pamagudumu ophunzitsira. Zikuwoneka ngati akudziwa zomwe akuchita, koma zili kutali ndi chowonadi.
Mwachitsanzo, muubwenzi wa mwana wamkazi wokhala nawo, kholo lomwe limamukakamiza limamuleketsa mwana wake wamkazi pazomwe akuwona ngati zowopsa. Kukula kwa mwana wamkazi kumatetezedwa komanso kutetezedwa. Amalephera kukulitsa maluso oyenera olumikizirana ndi anthu ndikudziteteza ku "ziwopsezo". chifukwa abambo ake amamuchitira.
Popita nthawi, kudziletsa kwambiri kudakhala kufooka kwake. Amalephera kuzindikira ndi kupewa "kumuopseza" chifukwa sanaphunzire momwe, kapena choipa kwambiri amaganiza kuti munthu wangwiro amatengera abambo ake ndikukhala pachibwenzi.
Achinyamata ambiri masiku ano amadandaula kuti masukulu saphunzitsa kukhala achikulire. Kukhala wamkulu ndi mawu amakono otanthauza chidziwitso chothandiza komanso chodziwika bwino kuti mupulumuke mdziko lenileni. Ndi zotsatira zachindunji zakugwira manja kwambiri. Anthu awa amaiwala kuti, ngati mutha kuwerenga, lembani, ndi Google, mutha kuphunzira chilichonse. Sukulu kapena kusukulu.
Kupita kumalo okwirira
Maubwenzi olimbikitsidwa ali paliponse. Chifukwa chake ndizotheka kukumana ndikusamalira wina yemwe ali m'modzi. Mwachitsanzo, kukwatiwa ndi banja lomwe lakhazikika. Poyamba, ngakhale mutakhala pachibwenzi, mungaone ngati wokondedwa wanu ali pafupi ndi abale awo.
Pamapeto pake, zimayamba kukukhumudwitsani. Mumayamba kuwona zovuta za chizindikiro choyamba cha Rosenberg chokhudza kunyalanyaza. Zimakulirakulira kukupangitsani kumva kuti ndinu gudumu lachitatu muubwenzi womwe udalipo kale.
Mudzapezeka kuti muli pamavuto amakhalidwe ofuna kudzikweza nokha pakati pa wokondedwa wanu ndi banja lawo. Malingaliro olakwika onse adachokera pamavuto awa. Zikuwoneka kuti pazosankha zomwe zilipo, choyipitsitsa ndikupangitsa mnzanu kusankha pakati pa banja lawo ndi inu.
Pali zovuta zambiri zomwe zimakhudzidwa ndi maubwenzi oyambitsidwa. Ndi chifukwa chake nthawi zina pamene phwando limodzi likufuna kutambasula mapiko awo, winawake amawabwezeretsanso.
Nawu mndandanda wazomwe zingadutse m'malingaliro anu.
- Popeza zakhala chonchi kwamuyaya, palibe chiopsezo chazotsatira.
- Palibe chilichonse chosayenera, chikuchitika kuti mabanja azigwirizana, ena kuposa ena.
- Ubale wanu wapano uli mgulu losiyana ndi banja lawo, koma popita nthawi zikhala bwino ndikufika pamalowo.
- Achibale omwe akwaniritsidwa amangokhalira kufunafuna zabwino zaanthuwo komanso banja lonse, palibe zoyipa zilizonse.
- Sikulondola kukonza ubale womwe udalipo. Ndi mtundu wa chikondi chokha.
Munthu aliyense woganiza bwino amabwera ndi chimodzi kapena zingapo mwazimenezi. Ayesa kutontholetsa mawu m'mutu mwawo kuti china chake chalakwika podzitsimikizira kuti akungokokomeza. Zochita zawo zitha kungoyambitsa mikangano yomwe sanaitanidwe.
Muubwenzi wolimba, ndi imodzi mwanthawi zomwe malingaliro anu amakhala olondola. Malingaliro anu omveka onse ndi malingaliro olakwika wamba. Mudzazindikira posachedwa kapena mtsogolo zomwe mukudziwa kale koma kukana kuvomereza.