Zamkati
- Kodi "kumverera kuti walandiridwa" kumatanthauza chiyani ndipo chifukwa chiyani kuli kofunika mu maubwenzi?
- Malo osungulumwa kwambiri padziko lapansi ndi kukhala muukwati wosungulumwa
- Kusungulumwa m'banja kumayambitsanso kusakhulupirika
- 1. Yambani mwa kudzidziwitsanso nokha
- 3. Yesetsani kupeza njira zabwino zoyambira zokambirana zabwino
Pakati pa kupatukana ndi mkazi wake Katie, Ben, monga wosewera ndi Bruce Willis mu kanema wa 1999 Nkhani Yathu, amakumbukira zokumana nazo za "kumverera kuti adandilandira" ali pachibwenzi.
Kuphwanya "khoma lachinayi, akunena kwa omvera kuti zikafika pamagulu, palibe kumverera kwabwino padziko lapansi kuposa" kumva kuti wapezedwa. "
Kodi "kumverera kuti walandiridwa" kumatanthauza chiyani ndipo chifukwa chiyani kuli kofunika mu maubwenzi?
Kumverera kuti wapezedwa ndichinthu chofunikira kwambiri pakuphatikana bwino.
Mukamva kuti "mwapezedwa" ndi wanu wofunikira, mumamva kuti mumadziwika, ndinu ofunika, ndinu ofunika komanso wamoyo.
Anthu okwatirana akamakondana, amagwiritsa ntchito mphamvu zawo zambiri kuyesetsa kuti afotokozere zomwe amakonda, mbiri yawo komanso momwe alili kwa wokondedwa wawo watsopano. Izi zimapanga chomangira cholimba mukabwezerana. "Kumverera kuti mwalandira" kumabweretsa kulumikizana kwamphamvu.
Tsoka ilo, pakapita nthawi maukwati odzipereka nthawi zambiri amataya mwayi wolumikizana. M'malo mongomva kuti "akunyamulidwa", tsopano amadzimva kuti "aiwalika." Nthawi zambiri ndimamvera madandaulo azachipatala monga: "Mwamuna kapena mkazi wanga amatanganidwa kwambiri ndi ntchito kapena ana kuti asakhale ndi nthawi yocheza nane." "Wokondedwa wanga akuwoneka wotanganidwa ndipo kulibe." "Wanga wina wamkulu amathera nthawi yawo yonse pa Facebook kapena pa Imelo ndikundinyalanyaza."
Pazochitika zonsezi, wokondedwa wake amadziona kuti ndi wosafunika, "wocheperapo" komanso "kuyiwalika."
Monga momwe kulibe kumverera kwabwino padziko lapansi kuposa "kumva kuti walandilidwa", palibe kumverera koyipitsitsa padziko lapansi kuposa "kumva kuti waiwalika."
Malo osungulumwa kwambiri padziko lapansi ndi kukhala muukwati wosungulumwa
Monga amayi anga ankandiwuza, malo osungulumwa kwambiri padziko lapansi ndikukhala osakwatiwa. Sayansi yachitukuko imathandizira izi. Kusungulumwa kumakhala ndi zotsatira zoyipa zambiri zakuthupi ndi zamaganizidwe. Kunena zowona, "kusungulumwa kumapha."
Kusungulumwa m'banja kumayambitsanso kusakhulupirika
Chikhumbo cholumikizana ndichamphamvu kwambiri kotero kuti anthu adzafunafuna kulumikizana ndi chinthu chachikondi chatsopano ngati sakumva kulumikizidwa kunyumba.
Ndiye, ndi chiyani chomwe maanja angachite kuti azimva kuti “akupezeka” komanso kuti “aiwalika” mbanja lawo? Nawa malingaliro.
1. Yambani mwa kudzidziwitsanso nokha
Lembani zakukhosi kwanu.
Lembani maloto anu. Tsatirani zilakolako zanu. Lonjezerani malo anu ochezera a pa Intaneti. Musanakhale osungulumwa mu mgwirizano wanu, mungafune kuyamba ndi inu nokha kuti muwonjezere kulumikizana kwanu.
2. Sankhani nthawi yabwino yolankhula ndi mnzanu ndikufotokozerani zakusungulumwa komanso kudzipatula.
Kugwiritsa ntchito mawu oti "Ine" m'malo mongonena kuti "Inu" kumathandizira kwambiri pakulankhulana bwino. Khalani ndi malingaliro m'malo momuneneza. "Mukakhala pafoni yanu usiku, ndimadziona kuti ndine wopanda pake komanso wosungulumwa" zikuyenera kugwira ntchito bwino kuposa "Nthawi zonse mumakhala pa foni yanu ndipo zimandipangitsa kumva kuti simukundikonda."
Funsani zomwe mukufuna m'malo modandaula za zomwe simukufuna. "Ndikufuna kuti tizikhala ndi nthawi yabwino yolankhula" zikuyenera kugwira ntchito bwino kuposa "Ndikufuna musiye kundinyalanyaza."
3. Yesetsani kupeza njira zabwino zoyambira zokambirana zabwino
Kulankhulana bwino nthawi zambiri kumaphatikizapo kugwiritsa ntchito mafunso oyenera kuti mukambirane. Izi zikufanana ndikupeza kiyi yolondola kuti mutsegule loko.
Mafunso oyipitsitsa omwe angathandize kuti pakhale zokambirana zabwino ndi awa: "Unali bwanji tsiku lanu kuntchito" kapena "Mudakhala ndi tsiku labwino kusukulu."
Mafunso awa ndi otakata kwambiri ndipo nthawi zambiri amabweretsa mayankho achidule ("chabwino") m'malo mokhala ndi tanthauzo lililonse. M'malo mwake, ndikupemphani kuti muyese mafunso monga: "Kodi mumamva bwanji masiku ano?", "Mukudandaula chiyani kwambiri?", "Kodi wina wakuthandizani lero?" kapena "Mukudandaula chiyani?".
Ngakhale "kumva kuti walandilidwa" ikhoza kukhala gawo lofunikira pakukhala ndi banja, ndikosavuta kutaya kumverera kwakanthawi chifukwa cha zovuta zambiri zomwe maanja amakumana nazo masiku ano otanganidwa. Tikukhulupirira, malingaliro omwe ndapereka ndikupatsani mwayi kuti inu ndi mnzanu musadzione ngati 'oiwalika' komanso kukhala "ogwirizana" ngakhale mutakumana ndi zovuta zambiri m'moyo wamakono.