Zamkati
Munayamba mwamvapo mawu akuti, "Mkazi Wosangalala, Wosangalala?" Ndimamva amuna akunena izi mkati mwa magawo ndipo ndimakhazikika nthawi zonse. Lingaliro lololera kusiya malingaliro anu ndi chizindikiritso chanu kuti mupewe kusamvana kwakanthawi kochepa? Nkhani zoipa: sizigwira ntchito. Chifukwa chakuti nthawi iliyonse mawuwa amanenedwa ndipo mwamunayo amabweza zakukhosi kwake, zotsatira zake sizotsutsana kwabwino, ndikungophulika kwakanthawi mtsogolo. Kudya kosalekeza kosadzaza theka la chipinda chanu nthawi zambiri kumadzabweretsa kuyankha kwamphamvu pambuyo pake.
Kufuula kuti amveke ... Osamvera
Nthawi zambiri ndimamuna omwe ali maubwenzi omwe amayesetsa kupewa mikangano yamtundu uliwonse ndi anzawo. Onjezerani ndi osakaniza mnzake (makamaka mkazi) yemwe akuyesera kudziwa momwe angapangire mwamunayo kuchitapo kanthu ndipo mutha kuwona momwe magulu awiriwa akutsutsana ndikupitilira mkangano womwe udakulirakulira. Palinso mayankho otsutsana omangika mwa mwamunayo; Kumbali imodzi ayamba kumva kukhala wolemetsa chifukwa sananene nawo malingaliro ake podziwa kuti mwina sangalandiridwe bwino, koma, komano, ali ndi mnzake yemwe akupitilizabe kukakamira chibwenzi. Izi nthawi zambiri zimabweretsa mkwiyo ndi ukali wochokera kwa iye, m'malo mwa chilichonse cholimbikitsa. Kuphulika kumeneko kutachitika, luso lofunikira kwambiri pothetsera kusamvana, kumvetsera, latayika kotheratu. Pakadali pano zonse zofunika kwa onse awiri anthu akukhalapo anamva, osati kwenikweni kumvetsera.
Njira yampikisano wathanzi ndikumvetsera. Ngati mutha kupatula pambali mwana wanu wamkati kuti amve ndikukutsimikizirani ndikumvera zomwe mnzanuyo akunena, koposa zonse, kulumikizana ndi zomwe akunena, ndiye kuti mwatenga gawo lalikulu osati kungokhala wathanzi kusamvana komanso kumvetsetsa bwino za mnzanu komanso ubale wosangalala. Njira yabwino yoganizira izi: m'malo "Mverani zomwe ndikunena!" yesani "Ndithandizeni kumvetsetsa malingaliro anu ndi momwe zimakhalira."
Khalidwe loyipa lankhondo la "Mverani zomwe ndikunena!" nthawi zambiri zimakhala ngati ana komanso zopanda nzeru. Ndi mwana wamkati yemwe amangokhalira kumvedwa ndikukhala "wolondola." Mikangano ili ndi chizolowezi chofuna kutibera luso lathu kulingalira. Timasuntha kuchoka kutsogolo kwathu (ubongo wathu woganiza) kupita ku amygdala (ubongo wathu wamaganizidwe) ndipo ndipamene mwana wathu wamkati amakonda kucheza.
Onaninso: Momwe Mungapezere Chimwemwe M'banja Lanu
Kubedwa
Tikayankha kuchokera kuubongo wathu wamaganizidwe, zimakhala zopanda ntchito ndipo zimatuluka molakwika. Mukutentha kwakanthawi timanena zinthu tili pa driver-auto ndipo nthawi zambiri ndi zomwe tidaphunzira tidakali aang'ono. Mwachitsanzo, tiyerekeze kuti muli ndi zaka 12 ndipo mwazunguliridwa ndi mikangano. Mwina ndi makolo anu akumenyana, mwina ndiwosamalira wina. Mosasamala munthu, kusamvana kumeneko ndi momwe mumaonera ndizomwe zimakumamatirani. Izi ndiye zomwe zimakhudza mtundu wachikulire wa mwana wazaka 12 chifukwa mukamayambana, mwana wamkati ameneyo amatuluka ndipo njira zonse zomenyera nkhondozo zimayamba. Popeza mudazimva ali ndi zaka 12, mukukangana m'njira yomwe mudaphunzira mukadali azaka zimenezo. Ndicho chifukwa chake si zachilendo kumva mawu akuti, "Umveka ngati uli ndi zaka 12!" mkati mwa mkangano. Ndikubedwa mwana wanu wamkati.
Mukayamba kuzindikira mayankho anu oyipa pazomwe mumawona ngati zazing'ono ndi aliyense amene akuyankhula nanu ndikupemphani kuti mumveke motsutsana ndikuthamangitsidwa, mwangoyamba kumene mkangano wathanzi. Pamapeto pake, sizikutanthauza kuti mkazi wachimwemwe sakhala gawo lazotsatira zomaliza za moyo wachimwemwe. Koma, umenewo sungakhale moyo wosangalala kwenikweni. Moyo wachimwemwe ndi pamene anthu onse amamva kumva, kulemekezedwa, ndi kukondedwa. Kapena, nthawi zonse mungaganize za izi momwe Terry Real (wothandizira mabanja odziwika padziko lonse lapansi, wokamba nkhani komanso wolemba) amachita, "Mungathe kunena zoona kapena mutha kukwatiwa."