Zamkati
Mukuyenda limodzi, mukukondana monga kale, ndipo mukukula ... chowonadi chimawonongeka mukazindikira kuti ena anu ofunika amakhala ndi vuto la mtima.
Dzenje limakula m'mimba mwanu kukula kwa Cleveland mukawona kuti uthenga "Ndikulakalaka mukadakhala pano ... Ndikukuganizirani nthawi zonse" adatumizidwa kwa wina usiku watha nthawi ya 10:30 pm.
Kusiyana kwakukulu pakati pa zomwe mumaganiza kuti ndi zenizeni ndi zenizeni zenizeni zitha kukhala zodabwitsa, zazikulu komanso zosokoneza.
Umu ndi m'mene m'modzi mwa makasitomala anga aposachedwa amafotokozera izi.
Mary ndi John adakhala limodzi pafupifupi zaka ziwiri. Mary anandiuza kuti anali asanamvepo zotere za wina aliyense kale ndipo akufuna kukhala moyo wake wonse ndi John.
Komabe, miyezi itatu yapitayo, Mary adapeza mndandanda wazitali wa mauthenga ndi zithunzi pakati pa John ndi mayi wina zomwe zidayamba miyezi 8 yokha atayamba chibwenzi. Kuchokera pazomwe amatha kunena, iwo sanagonanepo, koma sizinali kanthu. Anakhumudwa kwambiri. “Angathe bwanji kuuza mnzake zakukhosi kwake?” adafunsa, makamaka momwe angafotokozere, ubale wawo udali wosangalatsa.
Zochitika pamtima zitha kuwonekera m'njira zosiyanasiyana.
Mkazi wokwatiwa wazaka 15 yemwe nthawi zonse amauza "mnzake wantchito" mavuto ake kunyumba, kwinaku akuwonetsetsa kuti akuwoneka bwino kwambiri.
Mwamuna yemwe amalumikizana ndi wakale waku koleji ndikuyamba kuchita zachiwerewere zakhwima ndikukambirana patali patali, kutumizirana mameseji achinsinsi, komanso kutumizirana zithunzi pafupipafupi.
Kusakhulupirika kwamtunduwu kumakhala kopweteka ngati zachiwerewere ndipo ndikotsetsereka kwambiri. Yemwe amabera mayeso nthawi zambiri sawona kuti pali chilichonse cholakwika ndi zomwe akuchita. Kupatula apo, sakupsompsona kapena kugonana ndi munthu wina uyu.
Mwachitsanzo, Mary atamuuza John za zomwe adachita, amangonena kuti: “Kuntchito ndikutopa, ndiye ndimatumizira mameseji.”
Kuyambira ndondomeko ya machiritso
Kusakhulupirika ngati izi kumachitika, sizachilendo kukwiya, kukhumudwa, kuda nkhawa, kusowa tulo, manyazi, kapena kusowa njala, koma malingaliro olakwika ambiri omwe ndimawawona pantchito yanga ndikudziimba mlandu.
Yemwe abedwawo akuwona ngati ili vuto lawo, ndikulengeza kuti "zikadakhala kuti ndikadakhala wolimba mtima kapena wofuna kuchita zambiri kapena wopanda nkhawa kuposa izi sizikanachitika."
Koma ngati tiwona momwe anthu amagwirira ntchito, titha kuwona kuti izi sizowona.
Chinthu chimodzi chomwe onyenga amalingana ndichakuti amakopeka ndikukopeka ndi malingaliro awo ochepetsetsa. Amaganizira kwambiri za kusungulumwa komanso kusatetezeka, chifukwa chake munthu wina akabwera ndikuwapatsa chidwi, amalandila kuthamanga kwa dopamine komwe kumadza chifukwa cha kulumikizana kwatsopano komanso kosangalatsa uku. Oonera amakhala akugwiritsa ntchito banjali ngati bandeji yanthawi yayitali pazovuta zawo.
Zoyenera kuchita
Izi zikunenedwa, ngakhale zochita za wonyengayo zikuwonetsa kulingalira kwawo, palibe yankho "loyenera" ponseponse pazomwe mungachite mutachita chibwenzi. Mabanja ena amangokhalira limodzi, ena asankha kupatukana, komabe ena amakambirana yankho lomwe lingawathandize.
Cholakwika chachikulu chomwe ndimawona makasitomala samadzipatsa nthawi yokwanira kuti aganizire zamkati mwa matumbo awo ataperekedwa. Ngakhale upangiri wa anzanu uli ndi cholinga chabwino, kutenga nthawi kuti muwone ndi nzeru zanu zamkati ndi kulingalira bwino ndikulola mnzanuyo kuti nawonso achite zomwezo, ndikofunikira.
Khalani okonzeka
M'mabanja omwe amasankha kukhala limodzi, vuto lalikulu ndi "mkuntho woganiza" womwe umatsata masiku, miyezi, kapenanso zaka pambuyo pake.
Khalani okonzeka kuti malingaliro osalekeza ngati nkhawa ndi nkhawa zitha kuwonekeranso kwa munthu amene adachitiridwa zachinyengo komanso kuti malingaliro a kusatekeseka ndi kusungulumwa amathanso kuwonekeranso kwa wolakwayo.
Kuganiza (mwa mawonekedwe amakumbukidwe ndi momwe akumvera) ndichofunikira kwambiri chomwe chimalepheretsa maanja kuyambiranso kudalirana. Komabe, ndizotheka kudaliranso.
Chinsinsi chokhazikitsanso kukhulupirirana ndi pamene maanja amvetsetsa kuti sayenera kuchitapo kanthu kapena kukhulupilira lingaliro lililonse lomwe likulowa m'maganizo mwawo.
Kudziwitsa kwambiri za malingaliro akuganiza kumathandiza kwambiri kuti mupatse sikelo m'malo mwa awiriwo. Pankhani ya Mary ndi John, Mary adasankha kukhululukira John ndikumuuza kuti akuchita bwino tsopano.
Ndikupangira kuti muphunzire zambiri za njira zochiritsira zozikidwa pamalingaliro monga zomwe zalembedwa pansipa.
Yambani ndi izi:
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Relationship Handbook lolembedwa ndi Dr. George Pranksy