Zamkati
- Kodi kusalinganika kwamphamvu ndi chiyani kwenikweni?
- Nchiyani chimayambitsa kusamvana kwamphamvu mu chisudzulo?
Kutha kwa chisudzulo ndikokwanira kuti aliyense asamachite bwino. Koma pakakhala kusalinganika kwamphamvu muubwenzi, zonse zimakhala zovuta kwambiri. Nanga kusamvana kwamphamvu ndi chiyani? Nchiyani chimayambitsa kusamvana kwamphamvu mu chisudzulo? Ndipo chofunikira kwambiri, mutha kuthana bwanji ndi kusamvana kwamphamvu mukamatha banja? Mafunso awa ndiye maziko azokambiranazi, kukuthandizani poyamba kuzindikira ngati izi mukukumana nazo, ndikusankha zomwe mungachite.
Kodi kusalinganika kwamphamvu ndi chiyani kwenikweni?
Ukwati ndi mgwirizano pakati pa anthu awiri ofanana. Ngakhale maanja awiriwa ndi osiyana kotheratu, opatukana komanso osiyana, kufunikira kwake komanso kufunika kwawo ngati okwatirana ndikofanana. Mu banja labwino mwamuna ndi mkazi amathandizana kuchitira zabwino m'banja lawo. Amakambirana mavuto aliwonse omwe angakhale nawo ndipo amakambirana limodzi. Ngati sakugwirizana asankha zokambirana. Pakakhala kusamvana kwamphamvu, komabe, m'modzi m'modzi amalamulira mnzake munjira ina. Wokwatirana naye yemwe ali 'wamphamvu' kwambiri amakakamiza zofuna zake kwa winayo ndipo ndi nkhani ya 'njira yanga kapena mseu waukulu.'
Zikafika pakukhazikitsa njira yothetsera kusudzulana, kusamvana kwamphamvu kumatha kuchititsa kuti m'modzi m'modzi azikhala woipitsitsa kuposa mnzake. Zomwe zimachitika ndikuti mkazi wamphamvu kwambiri amatenga zonsezo ndikusankha kuti ndi ndani amene amalandire pomwe mnzake wopanda mphamvuyo ayenera kutenga kapena kusiya. Izi zitha kupangitsa zovuta zomwe zidachitika kale kukhala zopanda chilungamo kwambiri, koma mothandizidwa ndi mkhalapakati wanzeru komanso wanzeru ndizotheka kukhala ndi zotsatira zabwino komanso zoyenerera.
Nchiyani chimayambitsa kusamvana kwamphamvu mu chisudzulo?
Zoyambitsa ndi mitundu ya kusamvana kwamphamvu mu chisudzulo ndizambiri komanso zosiyanasiyana. Ndizofala kwambiri kupeza kuti pali zovuta zina zomwe zimachitika panthawi yachisudzulo. Nazi zitsanzo zochepa za zomwe zimachitika mwachizolowezi:
- Zachuma: Wokondedwa akakhala akulandila ndalama zambiri kuposa mnzake atha kukhala ndi chidziwitso chambiri pakuwongolera ndalama zomwe ali nazo m'banja. Chitsanzo cha izi ndi nkhani ya mayi wokhala pakhomo yemwe mwamuna wake ndiye amamusamalira.
- Ubale ndi ana: Ngati anawo ali ndi kukhulupirika kwakukulu kwa kholo limodzi osati linzake, izi zitha kubweretsa kusamvana kwamphamvu ndi kholo 'lokondedwa' kwambiri lomwe limakhala lamphamvu kwambiri.
- Kutaya mtima kapena kusungitsa malingaliro muukwati: Wokondedwa yemwe watalikirana kale ndi banja ali ndi mphamvu zowonjezerapo kwa iye yemwe ali ndi malingaliro okhudzidwa ndipo akufuna kuyesa kusunga chibwenzicho.
- Ulamuliro komanso wankhanza: Mwamuna kapena mkazi akapambana winayo ndi mphamvu za umunthu wake, pamakhala kusamvana kwakukulu. Wogonjetsedwa nthawi zambiri amatha kuchita mantha kuti avomere chifukwa amadziwa zomwe zichitike ngati satero.
- Kuzunza, Kumwerekera Kapena Kumwa Mowa Mopitirira Muyeso: Ngati ena mwa iwo akupezeka pachibwenzi ndipo sanayankhidwepo ndikuchiritsidwa, padzakhala mavuto osamvana pakutha kwa banja.
- Kodi ndi maupangiri ati omwe angathetsere kusamvana pakutha pa banja?
- Ngati mwazindikira chilichonse mwazomwe zili pamwambazi ndibwino kuti mudzifunse nokha momwe kusamvana kwamphamvu kumeneku kumakhudzira zochitika zanu zosudzulana. Ngati mukuwona kuti mungadzakhale mnzanu wofooka, mungafune kuganizira zosaka mosamala mkhalapakati woyenera. Tikulimbikitsidwanso kuti mukhale ndi loya wothandizirana kuti apereke chithandizo chowonjezera, komanso maphunziro aliwonse omwe angakhalepo asanachitike.
- Mkhalapakati yemwe akudziwa kusalinganika kwamagetsi atha kutenga njira zingapo kuti achititse chilungamo cha milandu motere:
- Kugwiritsa ntchito akatswiri osalowerera ndale: Ponena kuti zipani zizigwiritsa ntchito akatswiri osalowerera ndale, mkhalapakati atha kuonetsetsa kuti lipoti lolinganizika lilandiridwa. Mwachitsanzo wama psychologist wamwana amatha kupereka chidziwitso pazakusankha ana, pomwe mlangizi wazachuma atha kupereka chidule pazachuma cha m'banja.
- Kuteteza ulamuliro: Pakakhala nkhalapakati, nkofunika kuti nkhalapakati ayambe kukambirana ndi kulimbikira kuti malamulo ena atsatidwe. Izi ndikuti tipewe kulamulidwa kulikonse komwe mkazi kapena mwamuna wina ali ndi umunthu wamphamvu komanso wopondereza. Ngati munthu m'modzi sakupeza mpata wolankhula, kapena akuwoneka kuti wagonjetsedwa komanso watopa, mkhalapakati wabwino adzaitanitsa nthawi yopumira ndipo mwina atha kupereka upangiri wina asanayambirenso kuyimira pakati.
- Kuchita ndi zovuta: kudzera mukuyanjanirana ndikotheka kupeza mayankho opindulitsa ngakhale kuti nthawi zambiri pamakhala zokhumudwitsa pazinthu zambiri zokhudzana ndi chisudzulocho. Mkhalapakati atha kuthandiza kufalitsa malingaliro ndi malingaliro a kusamvana kwa mphamvu poyankhula mosamala pazovuta.
- Kudziwa nthawi yolankhulirana sikuthandiza: Nthawi zina zimafika pena pomwe kuyimira pakati sikungatheke. Izi zitha kuchitika pomwe kusalingana kwamagetsi kukukhudza vutoli kwakuti mmodzi kapena onse awiri sangathe kutenga nawo mbali moyenera. Izi zitha kuchitika pomwe pali nkhanza, zosokoneza bongo kapena uchidakwa.
Kusagwirizana kwamtundu wina komwe kumachitika nthawi ya chisudzulo ndipamene kusintha kwa mphamvu kumachitika pakati pa makolo ndi ana. Ndi chipwirikiti ndi kusintha komwe kusudzulana kumabweretsa, ndikofunikira kuti makolo azisamalira udindo wawo wolera chitetezo ndi chitetezo cha ana awo. Zomwe zimachitika nthawi zambiri zimakhala kuti makolo amatenga nawo mbali poyesa kukhala 'abwenzi' ndi ana awo m'malo mogwiritsa ntchito mphamvu zawo za makolo.
Njira yolepheretsa kusamvana kwamtunduwu kuchitika mnyumba mwanu banja litatha ndikutsimikiza kuti muli ndi zolinga komanso zikhalidwe zomveka. Khazikitsani chiyembekezo chotsimikizika kwa ana anu ndipo kambiranani malamulo omwe mukufuna kuti asunge, komanso mphotho kapena zotsatira zomwe zingachitike ngati atakwaniritsa kapena zosakwaniritsa zomwe akuyembekezerazo.