Zamkati
- 1. Njira yoyamba - kutsutsa
- 2. Njira yachiwiri - kunyoza
- 3. Njira yachitatu - kudzitchinjiriza
- 4. Njira yachinayi - miyala yamiyala
Wina posachedwa adandiuza mawu opatsa moyo ochokera kwa Richard Rohr:
“Munthuyo amangopeza zomwe akufuna ndi mawu.
Moyo umapeza zosowa mwakachetechete. "
Nditakhala ndi nthawi yokhala ndi mawu awa, ndidakhudzidwa kwambiri ndi uthengawu. Tikakhala mu ego, timakangana, kudzudzula, manyazi, miseche, kuwongolera, kusintha kwa ena, kufananitsa, kupikisana, ndi kuteteza ndi mawu athu.
Mkhalidwe wathu umatipempha kuti titsimikizire kufunika kwathu kudzera muntchito zathu.
Koma, tikakhala kunja kwa moyo wathu, timakumana tokha ndi ena mwanjira ina. M'malo molimbana ndi malingaliro a ego, njirayi imakhudza kusankha kuyankha kwa ena mofewa. M'malo mokhala momwe timamvera, timapatsa ena chisoni, kumvetsera mwachidwi, chifundo, kukhululuka, chisomo, ulemu, ndi ulemu.
Carl Jung adati timagwiritsa ntchito theka loyamba la miyoyo yathu ndikupanga ma egos athu ndipo theka lachiwiri la miyoyo yathu tikuphunzira kuzisiya. Tsoka ilo, ma egos athu atha kusokoneza maubale.
Kodi maubwenzi athu ndi anzathu, anzathu ogwira nawo ntchito, anzathu komanso abale athu angasinthe bwanji ngati tayamba ulendo wopatulika wosiya zochitika zathu?
Katswiri wazamisala, a John Gottman, adapanga lingaliro la The Four Horseen of the Apocalypse. Amatengera chilankhulochi kuchokera mu Bukhu la Chivumbulutso mu Chipangano Chatsopano. Pomwe Buku la Chivumbulutso limalongosola zakumapeto kwa nthawi, a John Gottman amagwiritsa ntchito fanizoli pofotokoza njira zolumikizirana zomwe zitha kunenera kutha kwa banja. Njira zinayi zothetsa chibwenzi zimaphatikizapo kudzudzula, kunyoza, kudzitchinjiriza komanso kumanga miyala.
1. Njira yoyamba - kutsutsa
Kudzudzula ndipamene timaukira mnzathu machitidwe, zizolowezi kapena umunthu wake. Ndikuganiza kuti ndikofunikira kukumbukira kuti tikamadzudzula theka lathu lina, tikukhala moyo wosazindikira.
Chitsanzo chimodzi chokhala kunja kwa ego mwina ndiwamuna yemwe amayang'ana ndalama kubanki yakunyumba ndikuzindikira kuti mkazi wake wagwiritsa ntchito ndalama zawo pamlungu ndi $ 400. Amakwiya ndipo nthawi yomweyo amatsutsa mkazi wake ponena zina - Simukhala mu bajeti. Nthawi zonse mumachita izi ndipo ndimakhudzidwa kwambiri ndi moyo wanu wa Kim Kardashian.
Mawu onenetsa awa atseka kukambiranako chifukwa mkaziyo adamenyedwa ndi chilankhulo cha 'simudzakhala nthawi zonse'.
Koma, yankho lolingalira bwino lomwe lomwe silimayendetsedwa ndi ego lingakhale chiyani?
"Moyo umapeza zomwe umafunikira mwakachetechete" - Richard Rohr
Njira yolingalira ingakhale kupumira pang'ono ndikuganizira momwe mungayankhire mwachifundo kwa mnzanu.
Chosangalatsanso chingakhale - "Ndidayang'ana zomwe talankhula lero ndipo tapita $ 400 pa bajeti. Ndikudandaula kwambiri ngati tikhala ndi zokwanira pantchito yathu yopuma pantchito. Kodi ndizotheka kuti tizingolankhula zambiri za zomwe tikugwiritsa ntchito ndalama komanso kuti tizisamala ndi zomwe timagwiritsa ntchito? ”
Poyankha, mwamunayo amagwiritsa ntchito chilankhulo cha 'Ine' ndikuwonetsa zosowa zake m'njira yabwino. Amafunsanso funso, lomwe limayitanitsa zokambirana.
2. Njira yachiwiri - kunyoza
Njira ina yakumapeto kwa chibwenzi kapena platonic ndi kunyoza.
Tikamanyoza, timanyoza pafupipafupi ndikuwona zoyipa zomwe mnzathu akuchita. Kunyoza ndi yankho lotsogola chifukwa timawona anzathu ngati ochimwa ndipo tokha ngati oyera. Timadzipatula kwa ena powafotokozera ngati mwana wamkulu, wokonda kuchita zinthu mosalakwitsa, wamwano, waulesi, wokwiya, wodzikonda, wopanda ntchito, woiwala, ndi zina zambiri zoyipa.
M'malo mowona wokondedwa wathunthu ngati munthu wamphamvu ndi zolimba komanso zokula m'mbali, timawawona molakwika. Njira imodzi yodzitetezera kunyoza ndikupanga chikhalidwe chovomerezana ndikuthokoza. Kuyankha modzipereka kumeneku ndi komwe timaganizira zouza anzathu, abwenzi athu, ndi abale athu zomwe timayamikira za iwo ndikuwathokoza akachita zina zothandiza kapena zoganizira.
Mawu athu otsimikiza adzalimbikitsa wokondedwa wathu komanso ubale.
3. Njira yachitatu - kudzitchinjiriza
Kudziteteza ndi njira ina yopita kumapeto kwa ubale.
Anthu ambiri amadzitchinjiriza akamatsutsidwa, koma kudziteteza ndi yankho lomwe silimathetsa chilichonse.
Chitsanzo 1-
Amayi amauza mwana wawo wamwamuna wachinyamata, 'Apanso, tachedwa.' Akuyankha kuti, 'Si vuto langa kuti tachedwa. Ndi zanu chifukwa simunandimange nthawi '.
Muubwenzi wina uliwonse, kudzitchinjiriza ndi njira yokhazikitsira udindo podzudzula wina. Yankho ndikulandila kuyankha kwathu kumbali yathu munthawi zonse, ngakhale zitakhala za gawolo.
Chitsanzo 2-
Pofuna kuletsa vuto lawolo, amayi angawayankhe mwanzeru kuti, 'Pepani. Ndikulakalaka ndikadakudzutsani kale. Koma mwina titha kuyamba kusamba usiku ndikuwonetsetsa kuti timayika ma alamu athu mphindi khumi m'mawa. Kodi izi zikuwoneka ngati pulani? '
Chifukwa chake, kukhala okonzeka kuzindikira gawo lathu pamavuto ndi njira yothanirana ndi kudzitchinjiriza.
4. Njira yachinayi - miyala yamiyala
Kuyika miyala pamwala ndi vuto lina lomwe limatha kuthetsa chibwenzi. Apa ndipamene wina amachoka pamgwirizano ndipo samayanjananso ndi abwana, mnzake kapena wokondedwa. Nthawi zambiri zimachitika ngati wina akumva kupsinjika mtima ndipo chifukwa chake amatseka ndi kusiya.
Njira yothetsera miyala ndikuti munthu m'modzi muubwenzi afotokozere zosowa zawo kuti apume pazokangana, koma kuti alonjeze kuti abwereranso ku mkanganowo.
Sinthani magiya anu kuti muchite chidwi ndi mayankho anu
Kudzudzula, kunyoza, kudzitchinjiriza komanso kumanga miyala ndi mayankho ena kwa ena.
Richard Rohr akutikumbutsa kuti titha kukhala ndi malingaliro athu kapena titha kukhala kunja kwa mtima wathu, zomwe nthawi zonse zidzakhala yankho lanzeru, lokhala ndi moyo, loganizira komanso lanzeru.
Zomwe ndakumana nazo
Ndazindikira kuti ndikamachita maphunziro a yoga ndikuchita zomwe ndimakonda, nthawi zina ndimavulala m'kalasi. Komabe, ndikamvetsera thupi langa ndikukhala ndi chidwi pazomwe ndiyenera kudzipereka ndekha, sindimavulala.
Momwemonso momwe titha kudzivulaza tokha mwakuthupi, tikhozanso kuvulaza anzathu komanso tokha m'njira zathu tikakhala kunja kwa mutu womwe timatcha ego.
Tengani kamphindi kuti muganizire kuti ndi ndani m'moyo wanu amene mwakhala mukumuyankha kuchokera kumalingaliro anu. Kodi mungasinthe bwanji magiya ndikukhala okonda moyo, osamala, komanso achifundo mukamayankha munthuyu?
Tikamakhala ndi kudzidalira, titha kukhala ndi nkhawa, kukhumudwa, komanso kukwiya. Koma, tikakhala ndi moyo kuchokera kumoyo, tidzapeza moyo wochuluka, ufulu, ndi chisangalalo.