Maubwenzi ndiopanikiza masiku ano, koma mukawonjezera zowawa zosaneneka komanso kupsinjika ndi kusakanikirana, maanja nthawi zambiri amamva kukhala opanikizika kwambiri ndi zopanikiza za tsiku ndi tsiku monga magawo antchito, kulera ana ndi maudindo ena pabanja.
Ofufuza apeza kuti "kusakhutira muukwati, mayankho olakwika a mabanja, komanso kusayenda bwino kwa mabanja" zimayeneranso kukhala ndi "zisonyezo zazikulu zakukhumudwa m'makliniki azowawa." (Cano et al., 2000). Zovuta zomwe zimadza chifukwa chokhala ndi ululu wosatha zimakhudza momwe timalumikizirana ndi ena, ndipo kukhumudwa komanso zizindikilo zake zimayamba, ndipo kulumikizana pakati pa abwenzi nthawi zambiri kumavutika.
Malinga ndi a Beach et al., 1990, izi zitha kubweretsa "kuchepa kwa kukondana komanso kuthandizana ndi okwatirana," pomwe "mayankho olakwika a okwatirana" atha kuwalanga poyanjana ndi mnzawoyo. Kuphatikiza apo, kusakhutira muukwati ndi malingaliro olakwika / machitidwe ochokera kwa omwe sanamve kuwawa, atha kulumikizidwa ndi kusowa chiyembekezo komanso kukhumudwa, kapena nkhawa komanso kusiya ntchito, mwa makasitomala ena opweteka.
Ngati inu kapena mnzanu mukumva ululu wosaneneka, kupeza njira zolumikizirana ndikuthana ndi zovuta zomwe zingachitike ndizovuta kwambiri. Cholinga ndikupeza momwe kupweteka kwakanthawi komanso kukhumudwa / nkhawa zimakhudzira ubale wanu pazinthu zotsatirazi: kupsinjika, kulumikizana, kusintha kwa kugonana / kusunthika chifukwa chakumva kuwawa, komanso momwe tingaphunzirire kumvetsetsa zosowa za mnzathu ndi zomwe akuyembekezera mu ubale chifukwa cha kupweteka kwakanthawi komanso kukhumudwa / nkhawa.
Kuyankhulana ndikofunikira kwambiri kuti banja likhale losangalala mukakumana ndi kukhumudwa komanso kupweteka kwakanthawi.
Kukhala wokhoza kulumikizana ndi wokondedwa wanu moona mtima momwe mumamvera pathupi ndi m'maganizo anu kuwathandiza kumvetsetsa chifukwa chomwe mwina mumamverera kapena kupita kokagonana usikuuno. Kugwiritsa ntchito I-Statement, kupereka chidwi chanu kwa mnzanu pomvetsera mwachidwi, kuyang'anitsitsa maso ndikuwonetsa zomwe mudamva mnzanuyo akunena, ndi zina mwa njira zokuthandizani kuti mumvetsere ndikuyankha zosowa za mnzanu. Komanso, kukhala wokangalika ndi njira zothetsera ena mwa mavutowa kumathandizanso ndikupangitsa kuti mnzanu amve kuti akumvetsera ndikuthandizidwa.
Kugonana ndi njira ina yofunikira yolumikizirana ndi okondedwa athu, koma olumala kapena kupweteka kwakanthawi kulowa mu equation, titha kutenga cheke chogona kuchipinda. Mabanja omwe ali ndi m'modzi kapena onse awiri omwe ali ndi vuto lakusunthika, maubale nthawi zambiri amakhala pampando wakumbuyo muofesi yachiyanjano.
Ndiye kodi maanja amakwaniritsa bwanji zosowa za kugonana? Pogwiritsa ntchito luso loyankhulana lomwe talongosola pamwambapa, maanja atha kupeza njira zina zokondweretsana. Khalani tcheru ndi malingaliro a wokondedwa wanu pankhani yokambirana zogonana. Nthawi zina anthu amakhala ndi mantha owonjezera kukulitsa ululu wawo panthawi yogonana kapena zina zogwirizana ndi matupi awo. Komanso, mungafunikire kukhala ndi luso m'chipinda chogona. Monga mwambi uwu, "Pali njira zambiri zophera mphaka," pali njira zambiri zogonana zomwe sizimakhudzana ndi kugonana, choncho tiyeni tizisangalala.
Pomaliza, kuchepetsa kupsinjika kudzathandizanso paubwenzi wanu-komanso kupweteka kwanu kosatha. Ofufuzawo akuti kupsinjika ndi momwe thupi lathu limagwirira ntchito pakawopsezedwa kapena zoopsa.
Pali njira zingapo zopewera kupsinjika:
- Pewani zochitika zomwe zimawonjezera kupsinjika kwanu (kuchuluka kwa magalimoto, malo ogulitsira, ndi zina zambiri). Ngati mungayende kwinakwake kopanikiza, ganizirani njira zopewera chisokonezo. Konzekerani zamtsogolo musananyamuke, ndipo nthawi zonse khalani ndi "dongosolo lachitetezo" kuti mwina mungafike povuta.
- Khalani Olimba: Kuzindikira Khalidwe Therapy limatiuza kuti tisinthe malingaliro olakwika ndi abwino. Chifukwa chake m'malo mongoganizira zoyipa zomwe zimachitika chifukwa chakumva kuwawa komanso ubale wanu, pezani njira zowonjezera malingaliro abwino pochita china chomwe chimakusangalatsani monga kumvera nyimbo zomwe mumakonda kapena kupita kokacheza ndi mnzanu.
- Ikani malire ndi ena kuti mutha kukwaniritsa zosowa zanu. Chepetsani ntchito yanu ndi zina, ndipo musawope kukana. Kukumbukira zomwe simungakwanitse, kutsimikizira zosowa zanu ndikupempha thandizo mukafuna thandizo, kumachepetsa kupsinjika kwanu komanso kupweteka kwanu, komanso kukulitsa mayanjano abwino ndi ena, makamaka ndi mnzanu.
- Musaiwale kupuma! Kupuma kozama, kwakanthawi, kumathandiza kuti muchepetse nkhawa m'thupi lanu. Kuphatikiza apo, kupuma mwakuya komanso kusinkhasinkha ndi njira ina yolimbikitsira ubale ndi mnzanu, popeza mutha kuphunzira kupuma limodzi ngati banja ndikulumikiza pamlingo wozama, watanthauzo.