Zamkati
- Malangizo 10 kwa okwatirana omwe safuna kusudzulana
- 1. Valani nkhope yolimba mtima yomwe ikuwonetsani kuti mutha kupita patsogolo molimba mtima
- 2. Yankhani mafunso ndi nkhawa zomwe mnzanu angakhale nazo
- 3. Musamakhudzidwe mtima
- 4. Lemekezani mkhalidwewo, munthuyo, ndi inu eni
- 5. Osatengapo mbali pokangana
- 6. Funani malangizo
- 7. Lolani mpata
- 8. Ndi kwanzeru kukhala otanganidwa
- 9. Dzisungeni monga momwe mumakhalira nthawi zonse
- 10. Lolani kukhala okhutira
- Bwanji ngati wina sakufuna kusudzulana; ndizotheka?
- Maganizo omaliza
Zimakhala zopweteka ngati mnzanu atulutsa mawu omwe mwakhala mukuyembekezera kumbuyo kwanu kwakanthawi koma osakonzekera - akufuna kusudzulana. Ngakhale mutadziwa kuti ukwatiwo uli ndi zovuta zazikulu, kuzitcha kuti sizingakhale yankho labwino kwa inu.
Mutha kukhulupirira kuti chibwenzicho ndi chopulumuka, chofunitsitsa kuchita chilichonse chofunikira pothana ndi zosaganizirazo ndikupulumutsa mgwirizanowo mwachangu, "Sindikufuna chisudzulo." Konzekerani kubwerera kosakayikira kwa mnzanu yemwe akumva kuti chisudzulo ndi yankho lokhalo lomwe adachita kale.
M'malo mochita nthawi yomweyo pomwe aliyense akumva kuti ali pachiwopsezo, akupwetekedwa, ndipo atha kuyankhula modzitchinjiriza, dikirani mpaka mutayang'ana bwino zomwe mungachite. Ndi kwanzeru kutenga nthawi ndikuganizira mozama za momwe mudakhalira pano.
Kodi ndi njira ziti zomwe zidalimbikitsa kuyesayesa mobwerezabwereza ndikuyesetsa kuthetsa mavuto omwewo? Kodi munthu aliyense anali kumvetsera mwachidwi (ndi kumva) pomwe nkhawa zinawululidwa? Kapena kodi zinthu zinaiwalika? Ndipo kodi ndiinu amene muyenera kusintha? Mwinanso, inde, ndipo tiona chifukwa chake.
Malangizo 10 kwa okwatirana omwe safuna kusudzulana
Zitha kuwoneka ngati kuti, kukonza dzanja lamanja limodzi chifukwa "Sindikufuna kusudzulana" si njira yokhayo yothetsera mavuto mu mgwirizano. Nthawi zambiri, pakabuka mavuto, mgwirizano umatengera onse muubwenzi kuti achite bwino kapena kuti alephereke.
Tsoka ilo, panthawiyi, pamalo ovuta, ndikofunikira kuti mukhale omasuka kuti musinthe zina ndi zina, makamaka ngati izi zisintha kwa inu nokha.
Mukamaganizira zomwe wina angafune kuti banja lithe, ziyenera kumvedwa, anthu omwe akuwonetsa kuti akufuna kusudzulana nthawi zina samadziwa ngati ndilo gawo lomwe angafune kutenga.
Nthawi zina, okwatirana amakhala kumapeto kwa nzeru zawo, makamaka ngati pali zovuta zina, mwina zogonana, kapena zovuta zina.
Kufunafuna chithandizo kapena upangiri pamavutowa ndi njira zoyenera kuchitira, koma kukonza zomwe zawonongeka kumatha kutenga nthawi yayitali, ndipo kukulitsa kudalirana kumene kungakhale kovuta, ngati kungatheke konse.
Ngakhale ndikofunikira kuti musinthe zinthu zofunika izi ndikukhala ndi thanzi labwino, mungafunikire kulimbana ndi mfundo yoti mnzanuyo sangakwaniritse zomwe munanena kuti "Sindikufuna kusudzulana."
Zinthu zina zomwe mungayesere ngati mnzanu akufuna chisudzulo koma simukufuna:
1. Valani nkhope yolimba mtima yomwe ikuwonetsani kuti mutha kupita patsogolo molimba mtima
Ngati mupanga zosintha zofunikira, khalani olimbika pantchito, ndikutuluka wathanzi, mutengereni ngati chochita chanu, china chomwe mudachita kuti musinthe, kusintha moyo. Ngati mnzanu akufuna kukulandirani tsopano kuti mwathana ndi zovuta zina, ndiye chisankho chawo.
Kudzidalira komanso kudzidalira komwe mumatulutsa ndi khalidwe labwino kwa munthu aliyense. Nthawi zambiri okondedwa amakopeka ndi izi.Kaya mnzanuyo atha kusudzulana kapena ayi, ndikofunikira kuti mudzipereke kaye kukhala osangalala poyamba ndikuyesanso kukhulupirirana ndikugawana zomwe mwakwanitsa.
2. Yankhani mafunso ndi nkhawa zomwe mnzanu angakhale nazo
Mukanena kuti, “Sindikufuna kusudzulana,” ndikofunikira kuti mnzanu adziwe kuti muchita chilichonse chomwe mungafune kuti mupulumutse mgwirizano.
Pakhoza kukhala zokambirana zambiri zomwe mungafunike kuti mupirire pamafunso ndikuyankha modekha pazovuta. Izi ndi nthawi zakuti kumvetsera mwachidwi kumafunikira chizolowezi chowonetsa kuti mumva zomwe winayo akunena, ndipo ndizofunika.
3. Musamakhudzidwe mtima
Mnzanu akauzidwa kuti akufuna kusudzulana, si nthawi yoti mulekane, kukwiya, kapena kuchita zinthu zosonyeza kukwiya.
Ngati mukuwona kuti simungayankhe popanda kuchitapo kanthu, ndibwino kuti mudzikhululukire mpaka zitatheka kuti mukambirane za mtundu wanu wabwino.
Momwemonso, mutha kuwonetsa kukhwima, kukambirana chifukwa chomwe mukuwona kuti banja lingathe kupulumutsidwa komanso momwe mungakhulupirire kuti izi zingatheke. Wokondedwa wanu adzakutengerani malingaliro anu ndipo mwina angaganize zodikira mpaka iwo awone zoyesayesa zoyenera.
Wokondedwa wanu akhoza kupanga njira zothandizira, kutengera momwe zinthu ziliri. Mwina mukamakumana ndi vuto losokoneza bongo. Ndikofunikira kukana thandizoli ndikupanga kuyesayesa kodziyimira pawokha ndi zovuta zanu, osati pachibwenzi chokha koma ndi inu monga munthu.
4. Lemekezani mkhalidwewo, munthuyo, ndi inu eni
Palibe malo opanda ulemu pazochitikazo kapena kwa mnzanu pomwe mnzanu akufuna chisudzulo, ndipo simukutero. Mumamukonda munthuyu ndipo mwawafotokozera mosapita m'mbali kuti, "Sindikufuna kusudzulana," chifukwa chake kubwezera kapena mwano kulibe malo.
Kuphatikiza apo, zowona, khalani ndi kudzikongoletsa ndikudzilemekeza.
Ngakhale mutha kukhala ndi ntchito yoti muchite, sizitanthauza kuti winayo alibe nkhani zawo. Ndinu amene simukufuna kusiya msanga.
5. Osatengapo mbali pokangana
Mukawona kuti mkangano watsala pang’ono kuyamba, mungafunikire kuchoka pa zokambiranazo. Ngati muli ndi mnzanu yemwe amakunenani kuti mukuthawa kukambirana kwambiri, ndikofunikira kuti musasunthike.
Fotokozani mwanjira yabwinobwino kuti musatenge nawo mbali pazokangana, koma zikuwoneka kuti ndiomwe zokambirana zawo zimatsogolera. Mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu akakhala ndi nthawi yokambirana momasuka, mumangokhalira kukambirana nkhani iliyonse yomwe ili pafupi.
6. Funani malangizo
Mukamuuza mnzanu kuti, “Sindikufuna kusudzulana,” pitani kwa iwo ndi lingaliro la upangiri wa maanja, mwina kuwona wothandizira maukwati njira zothana ndi chisudzulo chomwe simukufuna.
Sikuti aliyense amafunitsitsa kulandira chithandizo koma akhoza kukhala ndi chidwi cholemba m'mabuku othandizira momwe mungapezere malangizo limodzi kapena ngakhale magazini odziwongolera. Ngati sichoncho, awa ayamba kukambirana mozama pakati panu.
7. Lolani mpata
Pomwe poyera kuti pali kuthekera kwa kusudzulana, mupatseni mnzanu malo. Musafunse mafunso wamba panthawi yake kapena komwe akanakhala atabwera atachedwa kunyumba pang'ono.
Nthawi zina, mnzanu akhoza kukhala kuti amalankhula ndi abwenzi akuyesera kuti amvetsetse malingaliro awo. Ndi bwino kupatsa munthuyo nthawi yokwanira kuti aganizire zoyenera kuchita posinkhasinkha zomwe zimachitika ngati wina sakufuna kusudzulana. Tengani nthawi ndi malo anu inunso.
Kuti mumvetsetse kufunikira kwa danga mu maubale ndi moyo, onerani kanemayu.
8. Ndi kwanzeru kukhala otanganidwa
Osasiya kukhala moyo wanu wanthawi zonse; mwina onjezerani zochitika zingapo kapena zosangalatsa kuti mukhale ndi malingaliro otanganidwa ndi chisudzulo pomwe simukuchifuna.
Mutha kuyitanitsa mnzanu koma simukufuna kupereka vibe yolakwika ngati pempholo likukana. Pitirizani ndi mapulani ndi mnzanu kapena wachibale m'malo mwake.
9. Dzisungeni monga momwe mumakhalira nthawi zonse
“Sindikufuna kusudzulana,” koma mnzanuyo atha kutero. Izi zitha kutanthauzira kukhumudwa kapena kukupangitsani kudzidalira. Ukhondo ndi mawonekedwe anu ndizofunikira pakudziyang'anira nokha ndi kudzisamalira, zomwe zikufanana ndi thanzi lanu lonse.
Popanda izi, mumangomva kuwawa. Muthanso kuwona kuti sizosangalatsa kwa mnzanu. Kusamba ndikukhala aukhondo tsiku lililonse kudzakupangitsani kukhala olimbikitsidwa ndikukhala okonzeka kudziko lapansi, mosasamala kanthu momwe zinthu zidzakhalire ndi banja.
10. Lolani kukhala okhutira
Izi zimayendera limodzi ndi kudzisamalira. Ndizabwino kukhala osangalala nthawi zina, ngakhale mutakhala m'banja lanu. M'malo mwake, malingaliro anu amasinthasintha, koma ndibwino kulola mnzanu kuona kuti mukukhala moyo wanu ndipo muli ndi masiku abwino.
Mwina mudaphunzira kuti muyenera kuthana ndi chisudzulo chomwe simukufuna. Ndi nthawi zovuta, mudzafunika kukambirana ndi wina zakomwe mukumva koma osati mnzanu. Lankhulani ndi mlangizi kapena wothandizira momwe zingathere.
Bwanji ngati wina sakufuna kusudzulana; ndizotheka?
Kusudzulana sikophweka kwa aliyense, koma kumakhala kovuta makamaka ngati munthu m'modzi samafuna. Anthu ambiri amakayikira ngati mungasudzule ngati mnzanu sakufuna, ndipo mutha kutero.
Ku United States, palibe banja lomwe limakakamizika kukhalabe muukwati ngati wina sakufunanso kukhala nawo mgwirizanowu. Komabe, zimawongolera mchitidwewu kwambiri pamene chisudzulo chikutsutsidwa.
Okwatirana akuyeneranso kutsatira njira zovomerezeka za chisudzulo mokwanira, kapena woweruza ali ndi mphamvu zokana, ndikupangitsa kuti banjali liyambirenso. Izi zikutanthauza kafukufuku kuti mutsimikizire kuti mukudziwa njira zenizeni zomwe mungatsatire ndikusunga upangiri wabwino kwambiri kuti ukuthandizeni pochita izi.
Maganizo omaliza
Aliyense atha kusintha pang'ono. Kaya zimakhudza bwanji chisudzulo zidzadziwika ndi omwe akukhudzidwa. Mosakayikira, zina mwazikhalidwezi kapena zikhalidwezi zitha kukhala zovuta pamaubwenzi ena, koma simunadziwe.
Kutha kuyendetsa bwino izi kuti muthe kukhala bwino kumatha kukulitsa kulumikizana komanso kulumikizana ndi anzanu apamtima mtsogolo, ndipo izi zitha kutanthauza mnzanu wapano.
Ngati mungadutse ndi chisudzulocho, mwina mungadzifunse kuti muthana bwanji ndi chisudzulo chomwe simukufuna, koma muyenera kudziwa kuti sitimayo mwina idayenda, ndikuti ikhale yabwino.