Zamkati
Pamene inu ndi mnzanu mukugwada pansi pazokambirana zomwe zimayambitsa kusamvana (kapena, monga tikufuna kunena kuti "ndewu"), ndizosavuta kuwasokoneza ndi mawu oteteza monga "Izi sizowona konse!" kapena "Simukumvetsa zomwe ndimatanthawuza!" Tsoka ilo, iyi ndi njira yabwino yopititsira kukambirana kuti kukhale mkangano, m'malo mowasunthira kumgwirizano.
Kulankhulana bwino mbanja nthawi ya mikangano ndi komwe kumapangitsa kuti banja likhale logwirizana. Kumvetsera mosadzitchinjiriza ndi luso logwiritsa ntchito m'malo ngati awa chifukwa amalola zokambirana kupitilirabe m'njira yomwe imathandizira kuti onse awiri amve ndikumvetsetsa. Ndipo izi zikachitika, zimakhala zothandiza kwambiri kuti mukwaniritse cholinga chanu: kuthana ndi vuto lanu mwanjira yathanzi.
Kodi kumvetsera osateteza ndi chiyani?
Mwachidule, kumvetsera mosadzitchinjiriza ndi njira ziwiri zomumvera wokondedwa wanu ndikupanga njira yabwino yolumikizirana m'banja. Choyamba, zimalola mnzanu kuti afotokoze zakukhosi kwanu osadumphira mkati ndikuwadula. Chachiwiri, imakuphunzitsani momwe mungamuyankhire mnzanu m'njira yoti muwalemekeze, osakhala ndi malingaliro olakwika kapena chodzudzula. Njira ziwirizi zikufikitsani komwe mukufuna kukhala: kumvetsetsa nkhaniyo, ndikuyigwirira ntchito kuti nonse mukhutire ndi zotsatira zake.
Tiyeni tiwononge zinthu zakumvetsera kosadzitchinjiriza ndikuphunzira momwe tingagwiritsire ntchito chida ichi kuti tidzachichotse nthawi ina ikadzafunika.
Kuti timvetsetse zomwe kumamvera sikudzitchinjiriza, tiyeni tiwone zina mwa njira zomwe tagwiritsa ntchito chodzitchinjiriza kumvetsera:
Mukumvetsera modzitchinjiriza pamene:
- Stonewall mnzako ("Siyani kuyankhula za izi. Ndatopa ndikumva !!!")
- Chitani ndi mnzanu pokhala chete kapena kutuluka mchipinda (Kusayankhulana)
- Kanani momwe mnzanu amawonera zinthu ("Simukumvetsetsa !!!")
Ngati mwakhala mukuyeserera kumvetsera modzitchinjiriza (omwe tonsefe tili nawo, choncho musamve chisoni ndi izi), mukudziwa kuti sizikukuthandizani kulikonse.
Kumvetsera mosadzitchinjiriza Zonsezi ndizongokhalira kulumikizana ndi mnzanu ndikumvetsetsa komanso kumvetsetsa zavuto lomwe akubweretsa pagome. Ndizokhudza kuyankha, osati kuchitapo kanthu.
Momwe mungamvere osatetezedwa
1. Osamudula mawu
Izi zimafuna kuchita zina kuti tikhale angwiro - tonsefe tili ndi chizolowezi chofuna kulumpha pamene sitigwirizana ndi zomwe tikumva. Ngakhale titaganiza kuti zomwe tikumvazo ndi zopenga, zabodza kwathunthu, kapena kutayika - lolani mnzanu amalize. Mudzakhala ndi nthawi yanu yoti akayankhe akamaliza.
Mukasokoneza wina akuyankhula, mumawapangitsa kukhala okhumudwa komanso osamveka. Amasiyidwa amadzimva opanda pake ndipo ngati kuti malingaliro awo sanakukhudzeni.
2. Yang'anani pa zomwe mnzanu akunena
Izi ndizovuta chifukwa tili ndi chizolowezi chodula ndikuchitapo kanthu makamaka ngati sitigwirizana ndi zomwe akunena. Kuti mukhalebe okhazikika, yesetsani njira zodzilimbikitsira. Mukamamvetsera, samalani kupuma kwanu, kuti kuzikhala kolimba ndikukhazikika. Muthanso kudzitonthoza potenga kope ndikulemba mfundo zomwe mukufuna kuyankha ikafika nthawi yanu yoti mulankhule. Mutha kufuna kuchita doodle pang'ono kukuthandizani kuti mukhalebe otonthoza. Uzani mnzanu kuti mumamvetsera zonse zomwe akunena, kuti asaganize kuti mukungokhalira kukambirana.
Ikafika nthawi yanu yoti muyankhe, gwiritsani ntchito yankho lowonetsa mnzanuyo kuti mukumvetsetsa zomwe akulankhula, m'malo momasulira zomwe mukuganiza kuti anena.
Ngati mukufuna nthawi kuti muganizire momwe mwayankhira, muuzeni mnzanuyo kuti kukhala chete kwanu si chida chowonetsera mkwiyo wanu, koma njira yoti mupangire malingaliro omwe akukhala mmutu mwanu. Uku ndi kukhala chete, osati kubwezera chete, choncho adziwitseni kuti kukhala kwanu chete kukupatsani nthawi yoganiza, osati kuwatsekera kunja.
3. Khalani achifundo
Kumvetsera mwachifundo kumatanthauza kuti mukumvetsetsa kuti mnzanuyo atha kukhala ndi malingaliro osiyana pankhaniyi. Mukudziwa kuti chowonadi chawo sichingakhale chowonadi chanu, koma ndichimodzimodzi. Kumvetsera mwachifundo kumatanthauza kuti mumapewa kuweruza zomwe mukumva, ndikuti mumazindikira momwe akumvera. Ndikudziyika nokha munsapato za mnzanu kuti muwone bwino chifukwa chake amawonera zinthu mwanjira inayake. "Ndikumvetsa chifukwa chake mumawona zinthu ngati choncho, ndipo ndizomveka" ndi njira yomvera anthu chisoni mukakhala nthawi yanu yolankhula. Kupanga mayankho omvera ndi njira yabwino yolepheretsa zovuta zaubwenzi kuti zisakule.
4. Kumvetsera ngati kuti ndi nthawi yoyamba kukumana ndi munthuyu
Izi ndizovuta, makamaka ngati muli ndi mbiri yayitali ndi mnzanu. Kumvetsera kosadzitchinjiriza kumafunikira kuti mukwaniritse zokambiranazi mwatsopano, osanyamula masomphenya aliwonse omwe abwenzi anu adalipo kale. Mwachitsanzo, ngati mnzanu sanakuchitireni zachinyengo, mutha kuyesedwa kuti mukhale ndi izi kumbuyo kwanu mukamumvera. Mutha kukhala kuti mumamvera chilichonse kudzera mukukayika kapena mukuyang'ana bodza, mukufufuza mawu ake kuti muwone momwe mungatsimikizire kuti ndiwosakhulupirika. Kuti mumvetsere mosadzitchinjiriza, muyenera kuyika pambali kuweruza kwanu ndikukondana naye kuti mukomane naye mwatsopano popanda mbiri yotsatira yomwe ikukweza zokambiranazi.
5. Mverani ndi cholinga kuti mumvetsetse, osati kuyankha
Cholinga chachikulu chakumvetsera mosadzitchinjiriza ndikumva mnzanu ndikumumvetsetsa. Mudzakhala ndi nthawi yoti muyankhe yankho lanu, koma pamene akuyankhula, lolani kuti mutenge zonsezo osangokhala limodzi yankho lanu m'maganizo anu pomwe akulankhula.
Kuphunzira luso lakumvetsera kosadzitchinjiriza ndi chimodzi mwazida zabwino kwambiri zomwe mungakhale nazo mu zida zanu zaubwenzi ndipo zomwe zingakupangitseni kuyandikira mnzanu komanso zolinga zaubwenzi wanu.