Zamkati
- 1. Ndi kuzindikira kumadza kumvetsetsa
- 2. Mverani chisoni
- 3. Musakhale wothandizira kapena wowathandiza
- 4. Funani akatswiri
- 5. Musaiwale kudzisamalira
Momwe matenda amisala amakhudzira maubwenzi atha kukuwonongerani osati pakulimba kwa ubale wanu komanso inunso. Masiku ena ndiabwino. Zina ndizoipa.
Masiku ena ndimangomva ngati ndiko kutha kwaubwenzi wanu ndi munthu amene mumamukonda kwambiri ndipo mwalumbira kulumbira kuti mudzakondana ndikupilira matenda ndi thanzi.
Ngakhale palibe kafukufuku wambiri wokhudzana ndi momwe matenda amisala amakhudzira maubale, makamaka pankhani yaukwati, mutha kuyang'ana pa intaneti, ndipo mupeza nkhani zambiri zazomwe zimayenera kukhala ndikumakhala ndi mnzanu wodwala matenda amisala koma koposa zonse, njira zopirira.
1. Ndi kuzindikira kumadza kumvetsetsa
Kuyamba kwa gawo lililonse laubwenzi kudzakhala kosiyana ndipo kudzafunikanso kusintha kosiyanasiyana. Izi ndizowona ngakhale momwe anthu amatchulira ubale wamba.
Musanalowe m'banja, thanzi la mnzanuyo mwina adayamba nalo. Mwinanso mutha kuwathandiza kuti achire, koma m'mabanja omwe matenda amisala amabwera mukamakwatirana (mwachitsanzo, kupsinjika kwa pambuyo pobereka), ndikofunikira kuti muwerenge za matenda a mnzanu.
Mukawerenga za matenda a mnzanu, mumakhala mukudzikonzekeretsa kuti mumvetsetse mnzanuyo.
Izi zikuthandizani kuti mukhale ndi moyo wabwino komanso kuti muwone mnzanu mosiyana ndi ena omwe alibe chiweruzo. Kupatula apo, kukonda mnzanuyo kumadza ndi kuwakonda ndi kumvetsetsa kwakukulu kopanda ziweruzo zilizonse.
Ndikofunikanso kudziwa kuti mukangoyamba kuwerenga za zizindikiritso ndi matenda ake, zingakutayitseni poyamba.
Zina mwazizindikiro zitha kuwoneka ngati "zoyipa" zokha. Nthawi zonse khalani otseguka mtima wanu ndi malingaliro anu.
Muzikumbukira zomwe mukuwerengazo ndipo kumbukirani kuti cholinga chowerenga ndikumvetsetsa mnzanuyo, osati kuwalanda kutanthauzira kapena chizindikiro.
Samalani ngakhale; pali zinthu zambiri pa intaneti, muyenera kusankha zodalirika kuti mupewe kusokonezeka kwina.
Kuwerenga momwe matenda amisala amakhudzira maubwenzi kungakhale poyambira.
2. Mverani chisoni
Mukamakonda munthu, mumamumvera chisoni.
Kusiyanitsa pakati pa kumvera ena chisoni ndi kuti ndikumvera chisoni, "mumayesa kuyenda mu nsapato zawo" ndikuzama kuposa pamenepo; mumamvetsetsa bwino zomwe zikuchitika.
Mukamvera ena chisoni, mumalumikizana ndi zowawa zamunthu. Mukulola malingaliro anu kuphimba chiweruzo chanu chomwe chimalepheretsa kuthekera kwanu kuthandiza munthuyo mopanda tsankho. Koma ndikumvera ena chisoni, ndi vuto lina losiyana.
Mukamagwiritsa ntchito njira yachifundo, mukupereka thandizo kuchokera kumalo omvetsetsa.
Zimaphatikizaponso kumvetsetsa zomwe mnzake akukumana nazo, kapena kupempha kuti winayo, (kapena ena ngati sangathe kulumikizana bwino) akuthandizeni kumvetsetsa malire ndi zovuta zomwe akukumana nazo.
Pogwiritsa ntchito njirayi, mumalimbikitsa munthu wina kuganiza mozama.
Kukhala wokwatirana womvetsetsa kumatanthauza kuti simumangomverera momwe akumvera. Zikutanthauzanso kuti kumvetsetsa kwanu kwenikweni kumabwera chifukwa chakuzindikira zomwe akukumana nazo, zomwe zimalumikizidwa ndi mfundo yathu yoyamba - kudzikonzekeretsa ndi chidziwitso.
3. Musakhale wothandizira kapena wowathandiza
Zotsatira za thanzi lamisala pachibwenzi ndikuti ndizosavuta kukhala wothandizira kapena wothandizira. Mukamakonda winawake ndikuti mudzakhala mukumchitira chilichonse wokondedwa wanu, ndipo izi zimaphatikizapo, ngakhale osati dala, kukhala wowathandizira.
Kuthandiza munthu wodwala matenda amisala kumatanthauza kuti mukuwonetsa zikhalidwe zomwe, ngakhale sizili zoyipa, sizothandiza kwenikweni. Mukulimbikitsa machitidwe olakwika motero mawu oti, 'kuwapangitsa.'
Mwachitsanzo, kukhala pachibwenzi ndi munthu yemwe amapezeka kuti ali ndi Narcissistic Personality Disorder kumatanthauza kuti mnzanu amadziona kuti ndiwodziwikiratu.
Momwe matenda amisili amakhudzira maubale atha kufananizidwa ndi leech woyamwa magazi kuchokera kwa omwe adachitidwa. Mukamakonda kuwaika patsogolo, ndiye kuti mukuwathandiza kuti azisokonezeka.
Anthu omwe ali ndi vuto lamakhalidwe onyansa amakonda kudziona ngati opezeka pachilengedwe. Narcissists awa adzawona zosowa zawo monga chosowa chokha chomwe chiyenera kukwaniritsidwa. Kukwatirana nawo kungatanthauze kuti zosowa zanu zidzatha kuyikidwa kumbuyo. Kuchita izi kudzawathandiza kupitilira.
Chinthu china chowopsa chomwe mwina mukuchita ngati mnzanu wothandizana naye ndikuwathandiza.
Kupatula kudzikonzekeretsa ndi njira zabwino kwambiri zothandizira mnzanu wamoyo, sikuli udindo wanu kukhala wowathandiza. Izi sizigwira ntchito kwautali wa inu nonse kapena china chilichonse chotsalira cha banja lanu.
Izi ndizolakwika ngakhale mutakhala okonzeka mwamaganizidwe. Funsani thandizo la akatswiri kunja kwaukwati wanu kuti achite zochitika zawo zochiritsira mnzanu. Udindo wanu ndikupereka chikondi, kuthandizira, kumvera chisoni, komanso kumvera chisoni mnzanu pakati pawoyambiranso.
4. Funani akatswiri
Kufunafuna chithandizo cha akatswiri nthawi zonse kumakhala kofunikira kwambiri pakuthana ndi matenda aliwonse.
Momwe matenda amisala amnzanu angakhudzire ubale wanu kapena banja lanu zitha kuwononga ubalewo chifukwa chake tikulimbikitsidwa kuti mupeze thandizo laukadaulo popanga upangiri.
Kupita kumisonkhano yothandizirana ndi upangiri ndi akatswiri odziwa zaumoyo kumathandizanso kuthana ndi zovuta zina zakukambirana momwe mukumvera limodzi ngati banja.
Kuphatikiza apo, izi zikuthandizani kuti mudziwe za kuthana ndi njira zolumikizirana kuti mulimbitse ubale wanu ndi mnzanu.
Kupyolera muupangiri, mumakhala ndi malingaliro osiyanasiyana, malingaliro atsopano, ndi mgwirizano munthawi zomwe zimakhala zovuta kuthana nazo.
Kukhala wokwatiwa ndi munthu yemwe ali ndi matenda amisala, ndizotheka kuti mumakumana ndi zodabwiza kapena za mnzanu zomwe zingakupangitseni kuti mumve kuti ndinu wolakwa pakuwona - ndi bwalo loipa!
Mwachitsanzo, mutha kunyansidwa, kukhumudwitsidwa, kusakhutira kapena ngakhale kudana ndi mnzanu ngakhale mukudziwa kuti sangathetse vutoli.
Kutopa sikodabwitsa.
Zovuta zoterezi zitha kufufuzidwa mopindulitsa mothandizidwa ndi upangiri ndi chithandizo.
Kupyolera mu chithandizo, maanja amatha kudziwa momwe angakhalire malire olimba ndikuwonetseratu malingaliro awo paubwenzi ngakhale pakadali pano, ndipo pomwe mnzanu akudwala matenda amisala, cholinga chake chiyenera kukhala pakupirira (wosakhazikika m'maganizo sadzakhala wokhoza kuyika pachibwenzi pompano) chithandizo chithandizira nonse kuthana ndi izi.
5. Musaiwale kudzisamalira
Kudzisamalira wekha sikudzikonda. ndikofunikira mukakwatirana ndi mnzanu yemwe ali ndi matenda amisala. Ngati muiwala kudzisamalira, mukukhala pachiwopsezo chodwalanso matenda amisala omwe angaikenso banja lanu pachiwopsezo.
Kudzisamalira sikutanthauza malo abwino kapena malo osambira okwera mtengo; mutha kungodzisamalira nokha powonetsetsa kuti mukudya chakudya chopatsa thanzi, kugona mokwanira, kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi kapena kungoyesera kuphunzira kapena kuphunzira zosangalatsa zomwe mumakonda kwambiri.
Zizolowezi izi zitha kukhala zofunikira kwambiri kukuthandizani kuti muchepetse kupsa mtima.
Kusamalira bwenzi lokhala ndi matenda amisala kumatha kukhala kopanikiza ndiye chifukwa chake muyenera kudzisamalira bwino.
Musaiwale kutenga chithandizo ndi chithandizo chomwe mukugwira (kapena mukuyenera) kugwira nawo ntchito kuti muthandizire mnzanu. Amadziwa bwino kuposa zovuta zambiri zokhala ndi wokwatirana ndi matenda amisala ndipo nthawi zambiri amakupatsani ntchito zofunika kukuthandizani ndikuthandizaninso monga gawo lawo.
Moyo uponya zovuta zosiyanasiyana kwa inu monga banja, kuphatikiza thanzi la mnzanu. Momwe matenda amisala amakhudzira maubale amasiyana mosiyanasiyana kutengera matenda ndi kuuma kwake. Monga wokondedwa wokondedwa, ndikofunikira kuthandizira koma nthawi yomweyo kukhalabe wathanzi mwakuthupi ndi mwamaganizidwe, kuti mutha kusamalira kwambiri mnzanu amene ali ndi matenda amisala. Zomwe zili pamwambazi ndi njira zingapo zokuthandizani kuti muchite izi.
Mgwirizano wamphamvu komanso wathanzi udzawona kuti matenda amisala ndi chopinga china chomwe chingathetsedwe ndikugonjetsedwa. Ukwati ndi mgwirizano, ndipo izi zikutanthauza kuti kusamalira ubalewo panthawi yakudwala ndi udindo wanu. Ndi mgwirizano ndi chikondi, banja lanu lipirira ngakhale nthawi zovuta kwambiri.