Musanapereke moyo wanu kwa wina, ganizirani izi: Chikondi chilibe kanthu kokhudzana ndi kupambana kapena thanzi la banja.
Pazaka makumi awiri ndikugwira ntchito limodzi ndi mabanja komanso mabanja, sindingakumbukire nthawi imodzi pomwe banja la awiriwa lidayenda bwino kapena kupulumuka chifukwa chongokondana. Ngakhale ndizokhumudwitsa komanso zodabwitsa monga izi zitha kukhalira, zomwe ndapeza m'malo mwake ndikuti mikhalidwe, zikhalidwe ndi zina zomwe munthu angakhale nazo ndizofunikira kwambiri pakupambana kwa mgwirizano. Ngakhale chikondi chili chofunikira, sichofunikira kwambiri pachikhalidwe chothandiza kuti banja likhale lolimba ... chikondi chimangokhala ndi chidwi.
Chinsinsi cha kupambana ndi kupulumuka kwa banja ndizoyambira zomanga, zomwe zimaphatikizapo zinthu monga:
- Chifundo
- Ubwenzi
- Kukhulupirika
- Kukhulupirika
- Kukhululuka
- Kutseguka
- Ubwenzi
- Ulemu
- Kuyamikira
- Kudalira
- Kukhulupirika
- Lemekezani
- Kufunitsitsa
- Kumvetsetsa
Kudzizindikira komanso kukhwima m'maganizo chifukwa cha zolakwa za anthu komanso kuganiza moipa nthawi zambiri kumachedwa kwambiri kwa ambiri a ife. Chifukwa chake, chikhalidwe chofala cha mabanja omwe tikukhalamo. Komanso, chikhalidwe cha anthu "chitayireni kutali" chomwe tidatengera, mwanjira inayake chimatipatsa "chilolezo" kuti tizisunthira kutali ndi zomwe sizigwira ntchito ... koma, ine ndikupatuka. Kubwerera kumbuyo ...
Zalangizidwa - Asanakwatirane
Kupewa kusudzulana, Ndikulimbikitsa makasitomala kuti azilingalira zomwe ali nazo, kukhwima m'maganizo, njira zoyankhulirana ndi zina zomwe zingafanane asanalowe m'banja. Zachidziwikire, chilimbikitsochi nthawi zambiri chimakumana ndi kukana, kusokonezeka, komanso nthawi zina kutsutsana. Okwatirana omwe ali mchikondi amakhala osagwirizana, chifukwa zimatsutsana ndi malire komanso malingaliro akuti chikondi chidzagonjetsa onse. Ngati ife (kasitomala [ndi] ine) tivomerezana kuti ntchito iyenera kuchitidwa kuti tikhale ndi maziko olimba m'banja, kuyang'ana kutembenukira pakukhala ndiudindo waumwini ... moona mtima ndi m'choonadi ... pazolakwika zilizonse.
(Chidziwitso: Kuwona mtima ndikumva kwa mkati mwa malingaliro, kumverera, kuweruza, kutengeka, komanso kutengeka ndi thupi. Choonadi - mbali ina - ndizochitika kapena zochita zomwe zitha kuwunikidwa kapena kuyezedwa mdziko lakunja. Zowona sizinakometsedwe.) Kutsatira kutanthauzira kulikonse kofunikira kwa malingaliro osiyanasiyana, ndikupempha makasitomala kuti amalize ziganizo zotsatirazi kuti ayambe kukwaniritsa udindo wawo wolimbitsa umunthu (mwachitsanzo, kupanga zomangira):
Ngati ndidzakhala woona mtima ndekha, ndiyenera kunena kuti ndili ndi ntchito yoti ndichite m'malo otsatirawa ...
Ndikukhulupirira kuti ndikufuna thandizo pakuwongolera m'malo otsatirawa ...
Buku lolemekezedwa la Dr. Jerome Murray, Kodi Mukukula Kapena Mukungoyamba Kukalamba ?, limafotokoza za kukhwima kokhudzana ndi luntha lazamalingaliro motsutsana ndi miyeso ina yofala kwambiri yazaka. Amalemba kuti miyeso isanu yazaka imatsimikizira kukhwima motere:
Mbiri Yakale - Zaka zake ndi muyeso wa nthawi yomwe munthu wakhala - zaka zake muzaka.
Zaka Zachilengedwe - M'badwo wazolimbitsa thupi umatanthauza momwe machitidwe amthupi adakhalira poyerekeza ndi zaka.
Zaka Zaluntha - Msinkhu waluntha umatanthauza ngati luntha la munthu lili pansipa, pamwambapa, kapena lofanana ndi nthawi yake.
Zaka Zachikhalidwe - M'badwo wachikhalidwe umafanizira chitukuko ndi zaka. Imafunsa funso; "Kodi munthuyu amagwirizana komanso kukhala bwino ndi anthu monga momwe amafunira zaka zake?"
Maganizo M'badwo - Kutengeka, monga zaka zakubadwa, kumafanizira kukhwima m'maganizo ndi zaka. Imafunsa funso; "Kodi munthuyu amatha kutengera momwe akumvera mumsinkhu wake?"
Dr. Murray amapitiliza kufotokoza kwake kuti apereke zisonyezo zakusakhwima m'maganizo ndi mawonekedwe amakulidwe am'malingaliro, ndikutsatiridwa ndi njira zingapo zokulirapo kuti mukhale okhwima m'maganizo. Kukhwima mumtima kudzapangitsa kusiyana kulikonse m'njira zothetsera kusamvana, kusamvana komwe kumachitika, ndi malingaliro akwaniritsidwa. Kumenya nkhondo (zolondola motsutsana ndi zolakwika) ndizofala m'mabanja a maanja omwe alibe luso lolankhulana mwamphamvu kapena modzipereka.
Mitundu yolumikizirana imakhala m'gulu limodzi mwamagawo anayi:
- Chabe,
- Waukali
- Kungokhala chete
- Wodzipereka.
Nthawi zambiri anthu okwatirana amakhala ndi njira zolumikizirana. Chifukwa chake, "kusamvana" komwe kumachitika komwe kumayambitsa kumenya nkhondo. Khalidwe, kukhwima, kulumikizana, zikhulupiriro zachipembedzo / zauzimu, zolinga zaumwini ndi zaluso, zofunika pamoyo, ndalama, zokonda zakuthupi, ndi zina zambiri, ndizoyenera kufanana ndikuyenera kugwiridwa, musanalowe m'banja.
Ntchito yomwe tili ofunitsitsa kuyikamo ndi CHIKONDI.
"Zinthu zonse zimasintha tikachita." David Whyte