Zamkati
Zonse zikamayenda bwino muubwenzi, abwenzi sakonda kuganiza mopitirira muyeso ndikusanthula zinthu ndikuzitenga zonse mopepuka. Komabe, kuyambira pomwe mavuto oyamba amabwera, amayamba kudzifunsa okha. Izi ndizofala mmoyo wachikondi kwa onse okwatirana.
Kodi apeza zomwe amayembekeza m'banja lawo? Kodi ndi chifukwa cha mavutowa? Kodi wokondedwa wawo ndiye woyenera?
Izi sizachilendo ndipo kudzifunsa nokha ndichinthu chomwe muyenera kuchita nthawi ndi nthawi ngati mukufuna kukonza ubale wanu ndikukhala munthu wabwino.
Ukwati wamakono
Kodi tanthauzo lenileni la ukwati ndilotani?
Ukwati ndi umodzi mwamabungwe ofunikira kwambiri koma pano, ukuwonongeka mwachangu.
Komabe, si zachilendo kumva nkhani za okwatirana omwe asiya anzawo, zomwe zinali zosowa m'mbuyomu. Anthu satsutsa mchitidwewu m'moyo wachikondi kwa onse okwatirana.
Ngakhale sitiyenera kunyalanyaza kuti zikuwoneka kuti maanja ambiri amagwiritsa ntchito chisudzulo ngati yankho ngakhale pali mwayi wowongolera. Ukwati ndi chisudzulo zasintha mwatsopano ndipo pamene dziko likusintha, zosintha zimalandiridwa ndi banja lamakono.
Kuphatikiza apo, anthu asinthanso kaonedwe kawo- sizachilendo kuti achinyamata awiri azikhala limodzi asanakwatirane ndikuphunzira zambiri za wina ndi mnzake. Ili ndiye lamulo limodzi laukwati lomwe limalandiridwa pafupifupi kulikonse.
Komabe, chikondi chiri, mosasamala kanthu kuti tikulankhula za mnzathu, kholo, kapena chikondi chochezeka, ndichinthu choyenera kuyesetsa.
Masiku ano, anthu ambiri akakakamizidwa ndi mavuto amtsiku ndi tsiku, makamaka zomwe zilipo, ukwati ndi mgwirizano sizinyalanyazidwa. Ambiri amakhulupirira kuti gawo lachikondi m'banja komanso maubale okhalitsa ndichinthu chachilengedwe. Koma, sichoncho?
Magawo aubwenzi
Pali magawo angapo momwe ubale uliwonse umadutsamo.
Gawo loyamba Nthawi zambiri amadziwika kuti anali mchikondi kapena wokhala ndi chibwenzi. Mu moyo wachikondi kwa okwatirana onse, awa ndi gawo lachikondi komanso lokopa.Ndi milingo yayikulu ya dopamine, oxytocin, ndi norepinephrine, pakhoza kukhala zovuta zina za mankhwalawa monga kusowa tulo kapena kusowa kwa njala.
Kanemayo pansipa amafotokozera zamankhwala achikondi komanso momwe amawongolera momwe timamvera.
Kumva chisangalalo mu gawo loyambirira laubwenzi. Uku ndikumverera komwe anthu amakhala nako pachiyambi cha chibwenzi pamene akhulupirira kuti apeza bwenzi loyenera.
Gawo lachiwiri ndiye gawo lamavuto abwenzi. Munthawi imeneyi, zonse zimawonekera bwino pachibwenzi. Pali kusiyana pakati pa gawo loyamba ndi lachiwiri laubwenzi.
Mchigawo chino, amayamba kukayikira zizolowezi zomwe adapanga munthawi yochepa iyi. Mwachitsanzo, kuchezera makolo a wokondedwa wawo, powona kuti mnzake akugwira ntchito kwambiri, ndi zina zambiri.
Mbali inayi, mnzake ayamba kutsatira zizolowezi zomwe amachita kale monga kusangalala, kusangalala ndi zokonda zawo, ndi zina. Muubwenzi wopambana, pamakhala gawo lokonzanso. Iyi ndi nthawi yomwe chibwenzi chimayamba kukhala chovuta ndipo iyi ndi nthawi yomwe nthawi zambiri imabweretsa banja.
Gawo lachitatu ndiye gawo logwirira ntchito lomwe banjali limapeza kufanana pachibwenzi. Pali mtendere, bata, ndi kuvomereza muubale.
Munthawi imeneyi, nonse mumalandirana kwathunthu ndipo mumadziwa momwe mungagwirire zolakwa za wina ndi mnzake. Moyo wachikondi wa okwatirana onse mgawo lino umafika pamlingo wocheza. Inu nonse mumadziwana bwino ndipo mumapeza mgwirizano mwa wina ndi mnzake.
Gawo lachinayi ndiye gawo lodzipereka pamene nonse mwakwaniritsa chinthu chodabwitsa. Nonse mumamvetsetsa tanthauzo lenileni la chikondi. Apa, ubale wafika pamlingo waukulu pomwe kudzipereka kumakhala kochokera mumtima ndi m'maganizo.
Mukuyembekezera ulendo watsopano wazolinga zina zaubwenzi, kunyumba, ndi ana.
Gawo lachisanu ndiye gawo lenileni la chikondi. Mu gawo ili, nonse mumakhala othandiza komanso otsimikiza za chikondi mbanja. Moyo wachikondi wa okwatirana onse amasintha mgawo lino pamene ayamba kuyembekezera zinthu zomwe sizili pabanja lawo.
Kodi ndizotheka kukhala mchikondi kwamuyaya?
Pali anthu ambiri amene amasokoneza chikondi ndi ukwati.
Ndiye kodi chikondi m'banja ndi chiyani? Momwe mungasonyezere chikondi muukwati?
Chikondi ndikumverera mumtima ndi mgwirizano nthawi zambiri mumakhala ntchito yomwe mumayenera kumaliza "ntchito" zina monga kuyeretsa, kuphika, kusamalira ndalama, maphunziro a ana, kugonana kwapakati, ndi zina zambiri. Kugwa mchikondi ndi chidwi chomwe chimakhalapo anthu awiri akapezana .
Zachidziwikire, izi sizitanthauza kuti moyo wachikondi kwa onse okwatirana ndichinthu chosadziwika. Chikondi n’chofunika kwambiri m’banja. Koma ndizodabwitsa kuti anthu ambiri amalephera kumvetsetsa tanthauzo la chikondi m'banja ndikusokoneza mabanja awo.
Mwachitsanzo, anthu nthawi zambiri amasokoneza chikondi ndi kukhala ndi zinthu. Palibe cholakwika ngati m'modzi mwa omwe akuphatikizana apita kukasewera mpira kapena kuwonetsa mafashoni ndi anzawo. Palinso zochitika zina zomwe mmodzi mwa iwo amadalira mnzake. Ndi kovuta kwambiri kuti munthu m'modzi "anyamule" anthu awiri.
Moyo wachikondi kwa onse okwatirana ndichinthu chomwe chiyenera kuyamikiridwa ndikuyamikiridwa. Pali zinthu zina monga kulumikizana kwabwino, kulumikizana kwakuthupi, komanso kuchoka pamachitidwe nthawi ndi nthawi zomwe zitha kukonza moyo wachikondi kwa anthu omwe ali pabanja mosangalala ndikupanga banja labwino.