Zamkati
- Malo amdima akumanena wina ndi mnzake
- Chimalimbikitsidwa - Sungani Njira Yanu Yokwatirana
- Kuyankhulana molimba mtima ndikofunikira kuti pakhale kulumikizana kwabwino
- Osadzikakamiza kapena ongokhala
- Waukali
- Wodzipereka
- Momwe mungagwiritsire ntchito mawu oti "Ine"
- Kusintha kumayamba ndi inu
- 1. Kutengeka
- 2. Khalidwe
- 3. Chifukwa chiyani
- Kukhala osatetezeka ndi mnzako kumathandizira kukhulupirirana
- Ndikofunika kukhala osatetezeka pachibwenzi
Nthawi zambiri amati kulumikizana bwino ndikofunikira kuti mukhale ndi ubale wabwino koma ndizosowa kuti wina afotokoze tanthauzo lake. Maanja ambiri amatengeka ndi mavuto olakwika opanda zida zothetsera kusinthaku, chifukwa chake ali ndi njira zopanda ntchito zothetsera kusamvana.
Malo amdima akumanena wina ndi mnzake
Mwachitsanzo, a Teresa ndi a Tim, onse azaka zopitilira 30, ali ndi ana azaka ziwiri zopita kusukulu ndipo amakhala otanganidwa kugwira ntchito yolembedwa, kusamalira ana awo, komanso kudzipereka kudera lomwe amakhala. Teresa anabwera kuofesi yanga akudandaula kuti wakhala osasangalala kwakanthawi ndi amuna awo, Tim. Adavomereza kuti samalumikizana bwino ndipo nthawi zambiri amakangana pazinthu zazing'ono komanso amakangana.
Teresa ananena motere: “Nthawi zambiri sindifunsa zomwe ndikufuna chifukwa ndikatero, Tim amandipatsa malingaliro ndipo timayamba ndewu. Chifukwa chake, posachedwa ndikupewa kulankhula naye za zinthu za tsiku ndi tsiku ndipo zimangokhala ngati tikugona nawo limodzi osati okwatirana. Koma tsiku lina titakambirana za ngongole tinkangokhalira kukangana ndipo tinkakangana. ”
Tim akuyankha, "Teresa akunena zoona, sitimangocheza kapena kugona nthawi zambiri. Tikamalankhula, nthawi zambiri zimakhudza za ana kapena ngongole ndipo pamapeto pake timakangana ndikugona m'mabedi osiyana usiku womwewo. ”
Chimalimbikitsidwa - Sungani Njira Yanu Yokwatirana
Kuyankhulana molimba mtima ndikofunikira kuti pakhale kulumikizana kwabwino
Pali mitundu itatu yodziwika yolumikizirana m'mabanja: osadzikakamiza kapena osachita kanthu, mwamakani, komanso mwamphamvu. Njira yabwino kwambiri ndiyotsimikizika.
Anthu odzidalira amakonda kudzidalira chifukwa amatha kulankhula moona mtima komanso moyenera osalola kuti ena awalamulire. Amalemekezanso ufulu wa ena. Malongosoledwe otsatirawa akuthandizani kuzindikira mawonekedwe anu komanso anzanu.
Osadzikakamiza kapena ongokhala
Olankhula mosadzikweza atha kukhala osakonzeka kufotokozera ena malingaliro awo, momwe akumvera, kapena zokhumba zawo ndikukhala owona mtima kwathunthu chifukwa amadera nkhawa zakukhumudwitsa ena.
Kapenanso, angafune kupewa kuwadzudzula. Nthawi zambiri zimapangitsa anzawo kukhala osokonezeka, okwiya, osakhulupirika, kapena okwiya.
Kumbali inayi, nthawi zambiri amakhala osadzidalira ndipo amadzimva osatetezeka muubwenzi - kudandaula kuti sapeza zosowa zawo ndipo ena sawasamala.
Waukali
Olankhula mwaukali amatha kukhala onyoza, osuliza, komanso okonda kupereka ndemanga zankhanza kwa ena.
Nthawi zambiri mawu amenewa amayamba ndi mawu akuti “Inu” monga akuti “Ndiwe wamwano kwambiri ndipo sasamala za mmene ndikumvera.” Abwenzi omwe amalankhulana mokalipa nthawi zambiri amayang'ana mbali zoyipa za anzawo ndipo sakufuna kuvomera chifukwa cha zomwe achita.
Zotsatira zake, wokondedwa wawo amasiyidwa akumva kuwawa, akusalidwa, komanso kusakhulupirirana.
Wodzipereka
Olankhula modzipereka ndi achilungamo komanso ogwira mtima osakhala olamulira.
Amalankhula pazomwe amafuna mwanjira yomveka, yolunjika pomwe amalemekeza ena. Olankhula modzipereka salimbikitsa kudzitchinjiriza. M'malo mwake, amalepheretsa mikangano ndikulimbikitsa kunyengerera ndi njira yomwe tili "tonse pamodzi" yomwe ilibe mlandu.
Mwamwayi, munthu m'modzi akamalankhula modzipereka, zamphamvu zimakonda kukhala za mnzakeyo ngakhale ana.
Mwachitsanzo, kuyankha molimba mtima kwa wokondedwa wanu kuyiwala kukuyimbirani mwina ndikuti "Ndikumva kuwawa mukamayimbira foni mukachedwa. Ndikudandaula za iwe. ” Kuyankha uku kumagwiritsa ntchito mawu oti "Ine" ndikupereka chidziwitso kwa wokondedwa wanu momasuka, moona mtima, komanso mosatsutsa kotero kumalimbikitsa kulumikizana kwabwino.
Upangiri wofunikira waukwati womwe ungasinthe zomwe zimayambitsa mkangano, ndikuwonetsetsa kuti mawu anu abwino apitilira zolakwika zanu ndi chiŵerengero cha asanu mpaka chimodzi.
Mu Chifukwa Chake Maukwati Amayenda Bwino Kapena Amalephera, Dr. John Gottman akunena kuti kusiyana pakati pa mabanja achimwemwe ndi osasangalala ndikulingalira bwino pazokambirana pamavuto. Njirayi imagwira ntchito chifukwa imasinthira chidwi pakudzudzula ndikuyamba kuimba mlandu ndikukhala wotsimikiza pazosowa zanu komanso kulumikizana ndi mnzanu.
Momwe mungagwiritsire ntchito mawu oti "Ine"
Tsopano popeza mukudziwa zamakhalidwe osiyanasiyana osabala zipatso komanso kuwonongeka komwe angakumane nawo m'banja lanu, ndi nthawi yoti mumvetsere ndikuyankha bwino kwa wokondedwa wanu.
Kusintha kumayamba ndi inu
Njira yosavuta koma yothandiza kwambiri yochepetsera mayendedwe olakwika a mnzanu ndikugwiritsa ntchito mawu oti "Ine".
Mawu oti "Ine" ndikufotokozera mwamphamvu malingaliro anu kapena momwe mumamvera zomwe sizingamuimbe mlandu kapena kuweruza mnzanu. Zimalimbikitsa wokondedwa wanu kuti amve zomwe mumanena osadzitchinjiriza.
Mosiyana ndi izi, mawu oti "Iwe", omwe ndi osalimbikitsa ndipo nthawi zambiri amapatsa mlandu mnzake - atha kuwapangitsa kuti azisungidwa, kukwiya, kapena kudzipatula.
Malangizo amtengo wapatali okwatirana omwe muyenera kutsatira ndikulandira udindo. Kulandira udindo pazomwe mukuchita komanso momwe mukumvera ndichimodzi mwazinthu zofunikira kwambiri pakulankhulana ndikugwiritsa ntchito "I". Mawuwa ndi njira yabwino yochitira izi. Pali mbali zitatu zogwiritsa ntchito mawu akuti "Ine" moyenera:
1. Kutengeka
Ndimalankhula, kuyambira ndi zina monga, "Ndikumva" kuwulula zakukhosi kwanu ndikuwonetsa kudziulula, ndipo musawone ngati mukumuneneza mnzanu mukamati "Mumandipangitsa kumva".
2. Khalidwe
Mawu omwe amayamba ndi "Mukadza .." nthawi zambiri amawonetsa malingaliro, kuwopseza, kutsutsa mwankhanza, kapena kuwopseza kopanda tanthauzo. Mawu kapena machitidwe awa amadzichinjiriza.
3. Chifukwa chiyani
Ndi chida chamtengo wapatali chofotokozera chifukwa chake mumamva kapena kumva momwe mumamvera mnzanu akamalankhula kapena kuchita zinazake. Komanso, phatikizani kutanthauzira kwanu kwamachitidwe ndi machitidwe awo ndi momwe zakukhudzirani. Komabe, chitani izi osamveka mawu oneneza.
Kukhala osatetezeka ndi mnzako kumathandizira kukhulupirirana
Mutakhala mukuyankhulana mwamphamvu kwa pafupifupi sabata, ndibwino kuti muwonetsetse mnzanuyo kuti muwone ngati mukuwona kusintha kulikonse.
Ngati mumatero, kondwerani posangalala madzulo kapena chakudya chapadera kunyumba. Komabe, ngati simukuwona kusintha kulikonse, ndibwino kuti mupange nthawi ndi asing'anga omwe aphunzitsidwa kuthandiza anzawo kuti azilankhulana bwino.
Mnzake wina akamayankhulana moyenera, zimamuthandiza kuti azichita chimodzimodzi. Izi zitha kusintha kusintha muubwenzi.
Kuyankhulana kumakhudza momwe mumakhalira otetezeka ndi mnzanu, komanso momwe mumakhalira pachibwenzi.
Ndikofunika kukhala osatetezeka pachibwenzi
Ndizovuta, kukhala woona mtima ndi munthu yemwe simungamukhulupirire. Mutha kuda nkhawa kuti ayankha m'njira yolakwika kapena yopweteka.
Mwachitsanzo, Teresa akukhulupirira Tim akamati "Nditha kugwiritsa ntchito thandizo lanu ndi ana usikuuno kuti nditha kuwerengera mapepala." Akufotokoza pempho lake mwanjira yabwino, pogwiritsa ntchito mawu oti "Ine", kukhala pachiwopsezo, osaganizira zoyipa za iye.
Kumbukirani kuti kukhala pachiwopsezo pachibwenzi ndikufotokozera zakukhosi kwanu motsimikiza, kwinaku mukuyang'ana kukhudzika kwa mnzanu, zimatenga nthawi ndikuyeseza.
Anthu ambiri amathamangira kukapereka mayankho ndi kuthana ndi mavuto ndikudumpha ndikumvetsera ndikutsimikizira momwe akumvera. Mukhwimitsa banja lanu powongolera kulumikizana kwanu ndikudzipereka pakuphunzira za anzanu tsiku lililonse!