Zamkati
- Kodi mikhalidwe ya makolo okonda zachiwerewere ndi iti?
- 1. Kudzikonda:
- 2. Nsanje ndi kukhala nako
- 3. Kusamvera ena chisoni
- 4. Kudalira komanso kudalira
- 5. Kupondereza
- 6. Kudzudzula ndi kukondera
- 7. Kusasamala
- Kodi ana amakhudzidwa bwanji kholo lokonda zachiwerewere likawalera?
- Sakondedwa chifukwa cha momwe alili
- Abale awo akutsutsana
- Zosowa za mwana zimanyalanyazidwa, kuponderezedwa, kapena kunyozedwa
- Mwanayo amatha kumva ngati mnzake osati mwana
- Mwanayo amavutika kuzindikira zomwe akufuna, zosowa zawo, ndi zolinga zawo
- Kodi mungathetse bwanji zovuta zakulera zamtsogolo?
- Chidziwitso ndi kumvetsetsa zimachiritsa
- Njira yachisoni ndiyofunika
- Malire amafunika kukhazikitsidwa
- Tanthauzo la chikondi chenicheni tiyenera kuphunzira
Kodi mudamvapo za kulera kwankhanza? Kodi mungaganizire kholo lomwe lili ndi vuto lodzikongoletsa?
Mawu oti 'narcissism' akukhala mawu apabanja masiku ano, ndipo nthawi zina atha kugwiritsidwa ntchito ngati tanthauzo la chilichonse kuyambira kudzikonda mpaka kupsa mtima. Zowonadi, pali njira zingapo zomwe kunyoza kumatha kuwonekera popitilira kuyambira wathanzi mpaka zoyipa.
Narcissism yathanzi limatanthawuza kudzidalira kwenikweni, pomwe nkhanza zoyipa zimatanthawuza kudzidalira kwambiri ndikumakhala kosalimba, kudzidalira komanso kulephera kupanga ubale wabwino. Mtundu wankhanza wamankhwala amtunduwu umakhala ndi zowononga makamaka ukakhala kuti ndi kholo.
Nkhaniyi ifufuza zina mwazizindikiro za kholo lokonda zachiwerewere, momwe mikhalidwe ya wankhanza ingakhudzire ana awo, komanso momwe angachitire ndi makolo amiseche, chifukwa kuchita ndi makolo osamvera sikumasewera kwa mwana!
Kodi mikhalidwe ya makolo okonda zachiwerewere ndi iti?
1. Kudzikonda:
Kholo likakhala la nkhanza, chilichonse chimakhala chokhudza iwo, ndipo amagwiritsa ntchito ana awo kukwaniritsa maloto ndi zokhumba zawo.
Chitsanzo cha izi ndi bambo wokonda zachiwerewere yemwe amalimbikira kuti mwana wawo akhale dokotala, ngakhale zokonda za mwana wawo zikugwirizana ndi kusankha ntchito.
Makhalidwe a abambo okonda zachiwerewerewa amapezeka ponseponse, koma timakonda kuwanyalanyaza, poganiza kuti mikhalidwe imeneyi ndiyofala kwambiri!
2. Nsanje ndi kukhala nako
Kholo lokonda zachiwerewere limayembekeza komanso limayesetsa kusunga ana awo mpaka nthawi yayitali kwamuyaya.
Chifukwa chake, mwana akangoyamba kuwonetsa kukhwima kapena kudzipangira yekha, ndikupanga zosankha zawo ndi zomwe amakonda, kholo limatha kukwiya ndikukwiya, ndikulitenga ngati kunyoza komanso kuwopseza.
3. Kusamvera ena chisoni
Narcissists ali ndi kulephera kwakukulu kulingalira malingaliro ndi malingaliro a ena, kuphatikiza ana awo. Kwa iwo, chinthu chokha chofunikira ndi malingaliro awo ndi malingaliro awo. Izi ndizizindikiro za kulera kwamwana wamwamuna.
Ana omwe amakhala ndi makolo okonda zachiwerewere omwe amakumana ndi mavuto amtunduwu pakapita nthawi amakhala ndi chinyengo chobera kholo, kapena amatalikirana ndi kholo lawo, pomwe ena amatha kuyesetsa kuti abwezere.
4. Kudalira komanso kudalira
Kulera kwaukadaulo nthawi zambiri kumaphatikizapo kulimbikitsa ubale wodalirana ndi ana mpaka makolo amayembekezera kuti mwanayo adzawasamalira kwa moyo wawo wonse.
Izi zitha kuwonedwa ngati zikhalidwe za amayi okonda zonyansa, ndipo ana amangotchula amayi awo ngati 'oteteza mopitilira muyeso' kapena 'okonda.'
Izi nthawi zambiri zimaphatikizapo kuwononga ndalama zambiri komanso kudzipereka kwa mwanayo, zomwe wamisala angawoneke ngati wosazindikira.
5. Kupondereza
Mutha kudabwa kuti bwanji kholo lachinyengo limakana mwana wawo?
Koma, kholo lokonda zachiwerewere ndiwokhoza kuwongolera kudzera pachilango, kuwopseza, komanso kupewa chikondi kuti akakamize kutsatira. Nthawi zambiri amapatsa kulakwa mwana pamlandu, komanso kumuimba mlandu, kumuchititsa manyazi, komanso kumukakamiza kuchita zosayenera.
Kufanizira kosavomerezeka ("bwanji sungakhale bwino ngati m'bale wako?") Ndi kukakamizidwa mwamalingaliro ("ngati ndiwe mwana wamwamuna kapena wamkazi ungandichitire izi kapena izi") ndizo njira zina zofalitsira kulera ana.
6. Kudzudzula ndi kukondera
Pomwe pali ana opitilira mmodzi m'banjamo, kholo lokonda zachiwerewere nthawi zambiri limalunjika kwa m'modzi mwa iwo ngati "mwana wagolide" yemwe amakonzekeretsa kukwaniritsa zosowa ndi ulemu wa wankhanza.
Pakulera kwamankhwala osokoneza bongo, m'modzi mwa ana enawo amakhala 'mbuzi' yomwe imadzudzulidwa pachilichonse. Mwanjira imeneyi, abale ndi alongo akumenyanirana, kuchititsa chisokonezo china ndi chisokonezo mnyumba yosokonekera iyi kale.
7. Kusasamala
Kholo lomwe limachita zachiwerewere lingasankhe kuchita zofuna zake m'malo mokomana ndi zovuta zakukhala kholo. Akhozanso kukhala ogwira ntchito mopitirira muyeso. Kusanyalanyaza kumeneku kumamusiya mwanayo limodzi ndi kholo linalo kapena ali yekha ndikudziyang'anira okha.
Kodi ana amakhudzidwa bwanji kholo lokonda zachiwerewere likawalera?
Kudzikonda kwa kulera ana mopanda chilolezo sikuloleza makolo kumuwona mwanayo kuti ndiwokondedwa, wofunika, komanso wofunika mwa iwo eni.
M'malo mwake, amangoyamikiridwa mpaka pomwe amakwaniritsa ndikusamalira zosowa za kholo.
Mpikisano wina wa abale ndi wokwanira m'banja lililonse, koma ngati pali kulera kwankhanza, mpikisanowu umafika pachiwopsezo. Izi nthawi zambiri zimakhala zoyeserera mwadala za wanamisili kuti akwaniritse zosowa zawo.
Mwana wamakolo okonda zachiwerewere akamayesa kufotokoza zosowa zawo ndi zokhumba zawo, zomwe zimasiyana ndi zomwe kholo lawo limachita, nthawi zambiri amachititsidwa manyazi, ndikupangitsidwa kumva kuti malingaliro awo, malingaliro awo, ndi malingaliro awo ndi opanda pake komanso opanda pake.
Nthawi zina, kulera ana motere kumakhudza kuwulula komanso kumuuza zakukhosi mwana, ndipo mwanayo amayenera kutonthoza ndi kukwaniritsa zosowa za kholo.
Kusintha uku kwa maudindo kumayika mwana munthawi yovuta yakumverera kuti ndi bwenzi kapena chinsinsi kuposa mwana.
Mwanayo akazolowera kukwaniritsa zosowa za kholo lodzinyenga, potengera zisankho zawo zonse, ndikugwirizana nthawi zonse ndi malingaliro ndi malingaliro awo, amatha kufikira posazindikira malingaliro awo ndi momwe akumvera.
Akafunsidwa kuti apereke lingaliro kapena kuti afotokoze zomwe akufuna, atha kukhala okayikitsa, amantha, komanso osasankha, kuyeza yankho 'lolondola' lomwe akuyembekezeredwa.
Onerani zokambirana izi kuti mumve zambiri zakulera kwamwano:
Kodi mungathetse bwanji zovuta zakulera zamtsogolo?
Fufuzani zambiri momwe mungathere pankhani yamankhwala osokoneza bongo, ndikuyamba kumvetsetsa zomwe zidakuchitikirani ngati kholo lokonda zachiwerewere lakulerani. Lolani kuti choonadi chizame ndikulimbikitsidwa podziwa kuti ena ambiri adamva kuwawa komweku. Simuli nokha.
Ngati kholo lanu kapena onse awiri anali wankhanza, mungafune kulira imfa ya kholo lomwe simunakhalepo nalo. Kwa kanthawi, ndikofunikira kumva chisoni kuti simunalandire chikondi chomwe mumafuna muli mwana.
Mukavomera kutayika kwanu ndikusiya malingaliro aliwonse omwe wankhanza tsiku lina angakukondenidi, ndiye kuti mutha kukhala okonzeka kupitiliza ndi moyo wanu.
Mukuchira kwanu pazovuta zakulera zamankhwala osokoneza bongo, muyenera kukhazikitsa malire anu, omwe adzakusiyanitsani ndi makolo anu.
Sangatenge izi bwino, koma ngati mukufuna kukhala omasuka, muyenera kupilira kupsinjika ndi kusokonekera mpaka mudzakhale omasuka kukhala omwe mumayenera kukhala.
Ikani malire pa nthawi yomwe mumakhala ndi anthu owopsa ndikudzizungulira ndi anzanu athanzi omwe angakukondeni ndikukuvomerezani monga momwe muliri.
Mukachokapo pakukhala ndi thanzi labwino laubwana, mudzapeza kuchira kochitika pakapita nthawi.
Kenako mudzatha kuzindikira ndikuphunzira kuti ndinu okondadi- kuti simusowa kuti mupitirize kuchita kapena kukwaniritsa china chake kuti mutsimikizire kufunika kwanu. Ndiwe wokondedwa chifukwa choti ndiwe munthu wamtengo wapatali komanso wamtengo wapatali.