Zamkati
- Kodi chithandizo cha ubale ndi chiyani?
- Mitundu yothandizira maubwenzi
- 1. Njira ya Gottman
- 2. Chithandizo chakumverera
- 3. Mankhwala ofotokozera
- 4. Chidziwitso chamakhalidwe
- Chithandizo cha ubale vs chithandizo chamunthu payekha
- Kodi nchifukwa ninji anthu amachita upangiri wa maubwenzi?
- Ziwerengero za upangiri waubwenzi
- Ubwino wa upangiri waubwenzi
- Kodi ndi upangiri wotani paubwenzi womwe sukuchita?
- Ndi liti pamene mungafunefune chithandizo chamaubwenzi?
- Kodi upangiri wa maubwenzi umagwira ntchito bwanji?
- Zomwe mumaphunzira panthawi yolangiza ubale
- Zomwe muyenera kuyembekezera kuchokera ku uphungu
- Momwe mungapangire kuti ubale wamankhwala ukhale wogwira mtima?
- Zomwe muyenera kuchita ngati mnzanu akukana chithandizo?
- Momwe mungapezere othandizira othandizira?
- Kuchiritsa mwa-munthu motsutsana ndi intaneti / pulogalamu yothandizira
- Mapeto
Maanja omwe ali ndi mikangano kapena osangokhalira kumva kuti akwanitsidwa mbanja lawo atha kufunsa upangiri wa maubwenzi kuti awathandize kuthana ndi mavuto awo ndikupanga ubale wabwino.
Ngati mukuganiza za chithandizo chamankhwala, ndizothandiza kudziwa zomwe muyenera kuyembekezera, monga zomwe mlangizi wa maubwenzi amachita, ntchito yolangiza ubale, komanso zomwe zimachitika pakulangiza zaubwenzi.
Mayankho a mafunsowa angakuthandizeni kudziwa ngati uphungu ndi njira yabwino kwa inu.
Kodi chithandizo cha ubale ndi chiyani?
Chithandizo chaubwenzi ndi njira ina yoperekera upangiri pomwe anthu awiri omwe ali pachibwenzi, monga okwatirana kapena okwatirana kwakanthawi, amalandila thandizo pothetsa mavuto amubanja ndikuthana ndi mikangano.
Cholinga cha chithandizo cha maubwenzi sikuti muwonetse mnzake m'modzi kukhala "woyipa" kapena amene akuyenera kukhala ndi vuto pamaubwenzi onse, koma kuti athandize maanja kuthana ndi mavuto awo limodzi, ngati gulu.
Akatswiri ena amati chithandizo chazinthu zapaubwenzi ndi malo omwe maanja angaphunzire chifukwa chake kulumikizana kwawo kumatsekedwa.
Nthawi zina, maanja akumenyera nkhondo pazinthu zina, monga kuti membala wa mgwirizano akufuna kusamukira kudziko lina, winayo sakufuna.
Mbali inayi, nthawi zina mavuto amgwirizano amachitika chifukwa cha kulumikizana.
Mwachitsanzo, m'modzi mwa omwe ali pachibwenzicho amatha kulira ndi kukuwa, kupangitsa winayo kulira pakakambirana kusiyana kwamalingaliro.
Mitundu yothandizira maubwenzi
Pali mitundu ingapo yamankhwala othandizira maubwenzi.
1. Njira ya Gottman
Mtundu umodzi ndi njira ya Gottman, yomwe imagwiritsa ntchito magawo awokha komanso maanja kuthana ndi mavuto muubwenzi ndikuthandizira maanja kuti azigwirira ntchito limodzi moyenera.
2. Chithandizo chakumverera
Mtundu wina wamankhwala othandizira maubwenzi ndi chithandizo chazotengera kapena EFT. Mu EFT, wothandizira maubwenzi amathandiza maanja kuzindikira zomwe zimayambitsa mavuto am'mabanja awo.
Mwachitsanzo, ngati okwatirana akumangokhalira kukangana za m'modzi wosasamba mbale, vuto lingakhale kuti m'modzi mwa awiriwo akumva kuti sakukwanira, zomwe zimaipiraipira pamene wokondedwa wawo salemekeza zopempha zawo ndi mbale.
Pamapeto pake, kuphunzira kufotokoza zakukhosi pakati paubwenzi kumathandiza abwenzi kuzindikira kuti ali otetezeka.
3. Mankhwala ofotokozera
Mankhwala ofotokozera ndi njira ina yomwe wothandizirana naye angagwiritsire ntchito. Mwa njira yamankhwala iyi, anthu omwe akugwira ntchito pamavuto abwenzi amaphunzira kukonzanso nkhani kapena nkhani zomwe amadziuza okha za chibwenzi ndi wokondedwa wawo.
Mwachitsanzo, ngati nkhani ya mnzakeyo yakusokonekera, izi zimatha kubweretsa mavuto. Kulembanso nkhani yatsopano yomwe ili yabwino komanso / kapena yotheka ingathandize maanja kupita patsogolo limodzi.
4. Chidziwitso chamakhalidwe
Othandizira maubwenzi atha kugwiritsanso ntchito chidziwitso pakulangiza ubale. Mankhwalawa afufuzidwa bwino ndipo ndi njira yabwino.
Pakuthandizira kuzindikira, maanja atha kuphunzira momwe malingaliro awo amakhudzira momwe akumvera ndi machitidwe awo muubwenzi.
Izi zitha kuwathandiza kukulitsa kumvetsetsa kwamomwe malingaliro awo amakhudzira moyo watsiku ndi tsiku mu mgwirizano ndi momwe angasinthire malingaliro awo kuti akhale othandiza.
Kupitilira njira zosiyanasiyana zoperekera upangiri, pali njira zosiyanasiyana zolandirira maubwenzi. Mwachitsanzo, ndizotheka kutenga nawo mbali pakulangiza zaubwenzi pa intaneti m'malo mopita kuofesi kukalandira upangiri wamunthu.
Ndi upangiri pa intaneti, muli ndi mwayi wolandila chithandizo kuchokera kunyumba kwanu kudzera pa intaneti. Muthanso kulumikizana ndi othandizira anu kudzera pa intaneti kapena imelo.
Ngakhale pali mitundu ingapo ya upangiri wa maubwenzi, njira yabwino kwambiri kwa banja lililonse itengera zosowa zawo. Zomwe zimagwirira ntchito banja limodzi sizingagwire ntchito kwa wina.
Anthu ena angasankhe njira zowonekera mwa iwo okha, pomwe ena angachite bwino ndi upangiri wapaintaneti. Wothandizira maubwenzi angakuthandizeni kudziwa mtundu wabwino wa upangiri pamkhalidwe wanu.
Chithandizo cha ubale vs chithandizo chamunthu payekha
Ngati mukukumana ndi mavuto muubwenzi wanu, nkofunikanso kumvetsetsa kusiyana pakati pa chithandizo chamankhwala ndi chithandizo chamankhwala.
Ngati membala m'modzi waubwenzi ali ndi nkhawa kapena zovuta zina, zimatha kuyambitsa mavuto m'banjamo; komabe, upangiri wa maubwenzi sikofunikira nthawi zonse.
Nthawi zina, ngati m'modzi m'modzi athetsa mavuto awo kudzera pakulangizidwa payekha, mavuto amabanja amadzisamalira okha.
Izi sizikutanthauza kuti mnzanu amene akukumana ndi mavuto ndiye amene amachititsa mavuto onse m'banjamo, koma nthawi zina, kugwira ntchito payekha kumapindulitsa ubalewo ngati vuto silikhala chifukwa cholumikizana bwino kapena kusiyana kwa malingaliro pakati pawo.
Mwachitsanzo, ngati m'modzi ali ndi mavuto owongolera mkwiyo omwe amadzetsa kupsinjika komanso kumenya nkhondo mwachangu, zingakhale bwino kuti mnzakeyo agwire ntchito yakeyake kuti awathandize kuthana ndi mkwiyo wawo kotero kuti sikutaya magazi m'banjamo.
Kungakhale kofunikira kuti banjali lidzapereke upangiri paubwenzi mtsogolo ngati mkangano ukupitilira, koma kuthetsa vuto laukali ndi gawo loyamba.
Kodi nchifukwa ninji anthu amachita upangiri wa maubwenzi?
Nthawi zambiri anthu amadabwa ndimavuto abwenzi omwe amatsogolera anthu kuchita uphungu. Pali zifukwa zingapo zomwe zitha kuchititsa kuti banja lisankhe kukalandira upangiri. Ena mwa iwo ndi awa:
- Kuwathandiza kuthana ndi kusamvana komwe akuwoneka kuti sikungathetse.
- Chifukwa zimawavuta kulankhulana kapena kufotokozera zakukhosi kwawo.
- Chifukwa akukumana ndi zovuta zomwe zasokoneza ubale wawo.
- Monga njira yowathandizira kuti agwirizane pazisankho zofunika, sanathe kuvomerezana m'mbuyomu.
- Chifukwa pakhala kusakhulupirika kapena nkhanza m'banjamo.
Nthawi zina, maanja atha kufunsira upangiri wa ubale chifukwa akufuna kupewa mavuto amtsogolo.
Mwachitsanzo, atha kukalandira uphungu koyambirira kwaukwati ngati njira yodzitetezera, kuti athe kuphunzira maluso olumikizirana ndikupanga zida zofunikira kuti mugwirizane bwino.
Nthano yodziwika ndi yoti maanja amafunikira kokha upangiri pomwe chisudzulo kapena kutha kwayandikira, koma chowonadi ndichakuti ndikofunikira kufunafuna upangiri usanafike pomwepa, kapena atha kukhala mochedwa.
Ziwerengero za upangiri waubwenzi
Funso limodzi lomwe anthu amakhala nalo poganiza za uphungu ndi lakuti, "Kodi upangiri wa maubwenzi umathandiza?" Kuti tiyankhe funsoli, ndikofunikira kuyang'ana pazowerengera zaupangiri.
Nazi zina zokhudza uphungu:
- Kafukufuku akuwonetsa kuti kuchuluka kwa chithandizo cha Emotion-Focused Therapy ndi 75%, kutanthauza kuti njirayi imagwira ntchito kwa mabanja ambiri.
- Kafukufuku wina wochokera ku The American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists akuwonetsa kuti 98% ya mabanja akuti malangizowo anali opambana kwa iwo.
- Uphungu sutsimikizika kuti ugwira ntchito; kafukufuku wina akuwonetsa kuti 38% ya maanja sangaone kukhala yopindulitsa.
- Banjali limakhala zaka zisanu ndi chimodzi osasangalala asanapite kukalandira upangiri, mwina ndi chifukwa chake anthu ena samadziona kuti ali opambana ndi uphungu. Mwinamwake adikira motalika kwambiri kuti apeze thandizo la akatswiri.
Kutengera ndi ziwerengero za upangiri waubwenzi, ndibwino kunena kuti upangiri ungagwire ntchito, makamaka ngati maanja apempha thandizo kwa omwe amathandizira pakakhala zovuta pamavuto abwenzi asanakhale ovuta kuwathetsa.
Ubwino wa upangiri waubwenzi
Kafukufuku akuwonetsa kuti upangiri ungagwire ntchito, makamaka ngati maanja apempha thandizo mavuto asanakhale ovuta kapena ozama kwambiri kuti athetse.
Anthu okwatirana akafuna uphungu asanalole kuti mikangano ikule, amatha kuyembekezera ena mwa maubwino otsatira upangiri wa maubwenzi:
- Njira zawo zolumikizirana zidzasintha ndikukhala athanzi. Mwachitsanzo, onse awiri adzakhala ndi nthawi yosavuta yofotokoza zakukhosi kwawo ndikupempha zomwe akufuna muubwenziwo pomwe akhalabe aulemu.
- Maanja akhala okonzeka kupanga zisankho zazikulu limodzi.
- Okwatirana kapena abwenzi apeza zovuta kuti athetse mavuto limodzi.
- Othandizana nawo aphunzira maluso othetsera kusamvana, monga kumvetsera bwino komanso kuzindikira kusamvana.
Pamapeto pake, upangiri wa maubwenzi umatha kupangitsa maanja kukhala limodzi pamene akhala akuganiza zothetsa banja kapena kupatukana.
Kodi ndi upangiri wotani paubwenzi womwe sukuchita?
Nthawi zina, anthu amaganiza kuti mlangizi wa maubwenzi adzauza m'modzi wa mgwirizanowo kuti ndiye amene akuyambitsa mavuto onse m'banjamo.
Lingaliro lina lolakwika ndiloti wothandizira maubwenzi "adzakonza" mnzake kuti ubalewo ukhale wosangalalanso, koma sizili choncho.
Pakulangiza maubwenzi, onse awiri aphunzira momwe amathandizira kusamvana kapena kusalumikizana, ndipo onse aphunzira njira zabwino zoyankhulirana.
China chomwe upangiri sukuchita ndikuwuza maanja ngati akuyenera kukhala limodzi kapena athetse banja. Siudindo wothandizira maubwenzi kuuza awiri kuti athetse banja.
Awa ndi chisankho chomwe awiriwo ayenera kupanga pawokha. Ngati awiriwo asankha kusudzulana, phungu wa maubwenzi angawathandize kuyendetsa njirayi kwinaku akumangotsutsana.
Ndi liti pamene mungafunefune chithandizo chamaubwenzi?
Akatswiri amalimbikitsa kuti maanja afunefune chithandizo chamankhwala akangowona kuti mavuto am'mabanja akusokoneza magwiridwe antchito tsiku ndi tsiku.
Mwachitsanzo, ngati banjali likukangana pa nkhani zomwezo mobwerezabwereza, kapena apeza kuti ali ndi mayanjano olakwika kuposa momwe amathandizira m'masiku ambiri, mwina ndi nthawi yoti mupeze uphungu.
Musayembekezere mpaka mavuto atakula kwambiri kotero kuti simungathe kupita patsogolo.
Kungakhalenso bwino kufunafuna chithandizo cha maubwenzi musanalowe m'banja. Izi zitha kuthandiza inu ndi mnzanu kukulitsa maluso a banja lolimba, lolimba.
Mwachitsanzo, mutha kukambirana zoyembekezera zokhudzana ndi kugonana, kukhala ndi ana, kugawa ntchito zapakhomo, ndikuwongolera ndalama.
Izi zimakupatsani inu phazi lamanja kuti mukhale ndi banja labwino chifukwa mudzadziwa zomwe mnzanu akuyembekeza, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti musakumane ndi kulumikizana molakwika kapena mikangano.
Kumapeto kwa sipekitiramu, maanja ena atha kufunsidwa upangiri posudzulana kapena kupatukana.
Ngati maanja apatukana ndipo akuganiza zobwereranso limodzi, chithandizo chamaubwenzi chitha kuwathandiza kudziwa ngati kusiyana kwawo kuli koyanjananso.
Kumbali inayi, ngati awiri apanga chisankho chothetsa banja, upangiri wa maubwenzi ukhoza kukhala malo otetezeka kwa onse m'banjamo kuti afotokoze za mkwiyo wawo ndi chisoni ndikuphunzira njira zowakhalira mwamtendere banja litatha.
Uphungu ungakhalenso malo oyenera kuthana ndi mikangano yokhudza kusungidwa kwa ana komanso dongosolo lazachuma.
Kodi upangiri wa maubwenzi umagwira ntchito bwanji?
Mukamaganizira upangiri, mwina mukuganiza kuti chithandizo chazokhudza ubale chimagwira ntchito bwanji. Kumayambiriro, magawo azithandizo sangakhale otsutsana kwambiri.
Izi ndichifukwa choti chithandizo chaubwenzi chimayambira pomwe othandizira anu amapeza zambiri kuchokera kwa inu ndi mnzanu kuti mumvetsetse mbiri ya moyo wanu komanso mbiri yamavuto abwenzi.
Wokondedwa aliyense apeza mwayi wolankhula ndikugawana nawo mbali ya nkhaniyi.
Mukamaliza gawo lanu loyambilira, wothandizirayo atha kufunsa mnzake aliyense kuti akakomane ndi othandizira payekhapayekha, kotero onse awiri atha kugawana zidziwitso zomwe sangakhale omasuka kugawana pamaso pa wokondedwa wawo.
Gawo limodzi limathandizanso wothandizirayo kuwona momwe maanja amagwirira ntchito limodzi komanso ngati pali kusiyana kulikonse momwe amathandizirana akakhala okha.
Mutha kuyembekeza kuti zokhumudwitsa zingachitike panthawi yachithandizo chaubwenzi, ndipo zinthu zitha kukulirakulira pang'ono pang'ono zisanakhale bwino.
Nthawi zambiri, pamene okwatilana sakumalankhulana bwino kapena samamvetsetsana, ndichifukwa choti amasunga chidziwitso kapena amagwiritsa ntchito njira zodzitetezera.
Yesani:Mafunso Anu Olankhulirana Ndiotani
Izi zikutanthauza kuti malingaliro ndi malingaliro enieni amatha kuwonekera koyamba panthawi yamaubwenzi, zomwe zimabweretsa kusamvana pakati pa abwenzi.
Pamene magawo a upangiri waubwenzi akuyenda, mutha kuyembekezera kuti mlangizi wa ubale akhale mkhalapakati. Mlangizi wanu amathanso kunena zomwe zimawululidwa kapena kupereka njira zolumikizirana zosayenera.
Mukamalandira chithandizo chamankhwala, mutha kuyembekezera kuphunzira maluso oyankhulirana bwino, kusintha momwe mumawonera mnzanu komanso ubale, ndikupanga luso logwira ntchito ndi mnzanu monga mnzake wothandizana naye osati mdani.
Komanso onaninso: Zomwe tingaphunzire pa chithandizo cha mabanja
Momwe mungapangire kuti ubale wamankhwala ukhale wogwira mtima?
Upangiri wa maubwenzi ukhoza kukhala wovuta, chifukwa chake ndikofunikira kuti onse mgulu ladzipereka ndipo akuyesetsa kuyesetsa kuti ligwire bwino ntchito.
Pali, mwamwayi, zina zomwe mungachite kuti chithandizo chamaubwenzi chikhale chothandiza kwambiri.
Nawa maupangiri:
- Khalani owona mtima. Simuyenera kuchita kugawana chilichonse chokhudza moyo wanu ndi wothandizira, koma ngati mungadziwonetse nokha, kapena mupanga nkhani yabodza yokhudza ubale wanu, wothandizira wanu sangathe kukuthandizani.
- Onaninso zomwe mukufuna kuti mupeze uphungu. Ndikofunikira, kunena zowona pazolinga zanu, kuti wothandizira maubwenzi anu athe kuchitapo kanthu moyenera.
- Kambiranani zinthu zomwe mwaphunzira mutabwerera kwanu. Mutha kukhala ndi ola limodzi kapena awiri pa sabata ndi wothandizirana naye, chifukwa chake ndikofunikira kusamutsa maluso omwe mwaphunzira kuchipatala mukangobwerera kwanu.
Yesani: Mafunso Owona Mtima Okwatirana
Zomwe muyenera kuchita ngati mnzanu akukana chithandizo?
Nthawi zina, m'modzi mwamgwirizano angafune chithandizo, koma winayo amakana.
Ngati ndi choncho, mungaganizire zopita kuchipatala kuti muwone ngati pali zovuta zina zomwe mungagwiritse ntchito, ngati zitathetsedwa, zingakuthandizeni kuti muzitha kulankhulana bwino.
Mwinanso kukonza maluso anu olankhulirana komanso kuthana ndi mikangano kungathandize mgwirizano.
Ngati wokondedwa wanu akukana chithandizo, zingakhale zothandiza kuti mukambirane ndi mnzanu za chifukwa chake sakufuna kuyesa upangiri waubwenzi.
Mwina mnzanu akuda nkhawa kuti chithandizo sichingagwire ntchito, kapena mnzanuyo akuwona kuti kupita kukalandira upangiri ndiye chisankho choyipa. Mutha kuthandiza wokondedwa wanu kuthetsa kukana kupita kuchipatala ngati mulole kuti afotokoze mantha ake.
Mbali inayi, mutha kunyengerera ndikuvomereza dongosolo lina, monga kukhala ndi kafukufuku sabata iliyonse wonena za ubalewo komanso zina zomwe zikufunika kukambilana.
Momwe mungapezere othandizira othandizira?
Ngati mukufuna wothandizira maubwenzi, zitha kukhala zothandiza kuyang'ana akatswiri amisala, apangiri, ogwira nawo ntchito, kapena okwatirana ndi mabanja.
Malo operekera upangiri mdera lanu kapena azachipatala am'deralo mwina agwiritsa ntchito m'modzi mwa akatswiri omwe ali oyenerera kupereka chithandizo chamaubwenzi.
Mukhozanso kufufuza pa intaneti kwa opereka chithandizo m'dera lanu kapena funsani mnzanu kapena mnzanu kuti akuthandizeni kuti mudziwe za wothandizira amene wawagwirira ntchito.
Kuchiritsa mwa-munthu motsutsana ndi intaneti / pulogalamu yothandizira
Pofunafuna wothandizirana naye pachibwenzi, muyenera kuganizira ngati mungasankhe chithandizo chamankhwala kapena cha intaneti. Ngati muli pachibwenzi chakutali kapena mnzanu akupita kukagwira ntchito, zitha kukhala zothandiza kusankha wothandizira pa intaneti.
Thandizo lapaintaneti lingakhalenso lothandiza ngati inu ndi mnzanu mwalekana ndipo simukukhala limodzi.
Kuphatikiza apo, chithandizo chapaintaneti chitha kukhala njira yabwino kwa mabanja omwe ali ndi zochita zambiri koma akufuna kupeza nthawi yothandizira. Muthanso kuwona kuti kugwiritsa ntchito intaneti ndikotsika mtengo nthawi zina.
Mapeto
Chithandizo cha ubale chingathandize maanja omwe ali pamavuto kapena kupsinjika komwe sangawonekere kuthetsa okha.
Wothandizira maubwenzi amatha kupereka malingaliro osalowerera ndale ndikuthandizira maanja kukhala ndi maluso oyankhulirana abwino kuti kusamvana kusakhale kosalamulirika.
Ngakhale ndizofala kuti maanja apite kukalandira upangiri pakabuka zovuta, ena mwa iwo atha kupeza uphungu asanakwatirane kuti apange maziko olimba a banja labwino.
Mulimonse momwe mungakhalire, kafukufukuyu akuwonetsa kuti upangiri wa maubale umathandizadi.