Zamkati
- 1. Kumva chisoni
- 2. Kumvetsetsa zochitika
- 3. Yambitsaninso kukhulupirirana komanso kulumikizana
- 4. Kuphunzira mbali ya chibwenzi
- 5. Nthawi yokhayo imaperekanso mawonekedwe
- 6.Kupangitsa kupatukana kwanu kukhala kopambana
Mabanja achimwemwe samayembekeza kuti athana ndi kusakhulupirika m'banja lawo pamene akugawana zomwe ndimachita, koma ndichowonadi chomwe ambiri adzakumana nacho paubwenzi wawo. Kubera ndichizolowezi chopweteka chomwe chimasokoneza mitima yonse ndikukhulupirira imodzi. Palibe yankho losavuta komanso lolunjika pa momwe mungachitire ndi kusakhulupirika.
Kodi mungapulumutse bwanji banja pambuyo pa kusakhulupirika?
Mwakhala nthawi yayitali muukwati wanu mukuganiza za "Ife" mpaka kuiwala kuganizira za "Ine". Kukhala ndi nthawi yokhayokha kudzakuthandizani kukhala ndi malingaliro ofunikira pazomwe mukukumana nazo ndikuthandizani kuti mudziwenso nokha. Kulekana m'banja kumathandiza onse kuti azindikire zomwe akufuna pamoyo wawo komanso ubale wawo popanda chosokonezedwa ndi wokondedwa wawo.
Kodi kulekana kungathandize banja?
Ndi mchitidwe wofala kuti maanja apatukane chifukwa cha kusakhulupirika, koma kodi zitha kuthandiza? Ngati mwasiyana ndi mnzanu mwina mungaganize kuti izi zikutanthauza kutha kwa banja lanu, koma sizikhala choncho nthawi zonse.
Nthawi zambiri, kupatukana kwakanthawi pambuyo pa chibwenzi kungathandize maanja kuyambiranso ndikugwiritsa ntchito kusakhulupirika. Kulekana kwakanthawi, mwamwayi kungakhale chisomo chopulumutsa muukwati wanu pambuyo poti kusakhulupirika kwachitika, ndichifukwa chake. Kukonza ukwati pambuyo pa chibwenzi sikungatheke.
1. Kumva chisoni
Mwanjira zambiri, kusakhulupirika ndikofanana ndi imfa. Ndikutaya kwa gwero la chikondi, chisangalalo, ndi kukhazikika m'moyo wanu ndipo mukuyenera kumva chisoni. Ngakhale mutadzayambiranso kusakhulupirika mtsogolo, mukumvabe chisoni ndi kutha kwa ubale wanu wakale. Gawo lomvetsa chisoni ili lilibe nthawi yoikika ndipo ndiosiyana ndi aliyense. Ili ndi gawo lofunikira pothana ndi kusakhulupirika, chifukwa limakupatsani mwayi wothana ndi zowawa zanu ndi mkwiyo wanu komanso zimakuthandizani kuti muchitepo kanthu pokonza ukwati wanu.
Kukhala limodzi pambuyo pachithunzicho zitangochitika zitha kukulitsa ululu.
2. Kumvetsetsa zochitika
Pali dera lalikulu laimvi zikafika pakusakhulupirika komwe kumatha kukwiyitsa kusokoneza. Ngakhale ndichikhulupiriro chodziwika kuti anthu amabera chifukwa chosowa zogonana mbanja kapena chifukwa mwayi udalipo, sizikhala choncho nthawi zonse.
M'malo mwake, nthawi zambiri pamakhala nkhani yayikulu pankhani yakusakhulupirika.
Momwe mungathetsere kusakhulupirika m'banja? Momwe mungakonzekere banja mukabera?
Kupatukana ndi achibale pambuyo pa kusakhulupirika kumatha kupatsa onse awiri mwayi wofufuza ndikumvetsetsa zomwe adachita.
Zithunzi zolaula, kusakhutira m'maganizo, kusatsimikizika, kusowa chikondi, kuperekedwa kale, kuzunzidwa, ndi kugwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo zonsezi zimathandizira kuchita zibwenzi.
Pochoka pa chiwerewere, kuchepetsa zomwe zayambitsa chibwenzocho kudzathandiza onse awiri kusankha momwe angathetsere mavutowa mtsogolo ndikulimbitsa banja lawo motsutsana ndi zoterezi. Kuti muchiritse pachibwenzi ndikofunikira kumvetsetsa chomwe chidayambitsa.
3. Yambitsaninso kukhulupirirana komanso kulumikizana
Ngati muli muupangiri wa maanja kapena magawo azomwe mungachite kuti muthetse kusakhulupirika, nthawi ino kupatukana kumakupatsani mwayi wochitira banja lanu homuweki. Izi zikutanthawuza kuthana ndi zomwe zidadzetsa chibwenzicho ndikupita patsogolo ndi momwe mumachitira zinthu ndi anzanu.
Kodi mungamangenso bwanji banja lanu nthawi yopatukana?
Maanja omwe amalumikizana amakhala ndi mwayi wopambana m'mabanja awo. Zitha kumveka ngati zopanda phindu, koma maanja omwe amatenga nthawi yocheza wina ndi mzake amapeza mpata wopatukana ndi zomwe akuchita ndikupangitsanso kukhulupilirana ndi kulumikizana.
Mkwiyo ndiwogwedezeka pakulankhulana ndi mkazi kapena mwamuna wosakhulupirika, koma nthawi yotalikirapo imatha kuchepetsa ululu ndi kupweteka komwe kumayambitsa zokambirana. Pokhala ndi bata modekha komanso momveka bwino, maanja athe kulumikizanso ndi kulumikizana za ubale wawo.
Kukhazikitsanso kulumikizana kwamphamvu ndi gawo lofunikira pobwezeretsa mavuto.
Kuchira kulumikizana ndi osakhulupirika ndichinsinsi cha banja losangalala, labwino, ngakhale mutasiyana kale. Ngati mwasiya kuyankhulana zazing'onozing'ono ndi zazing'ono, mutha kugwiritsa ntchito kupatukana kwanu kuti mubwererenso kuzolowera.
Itha kukuthandizani kuthana ndi mavuto anu, kukhazikitsa ulemu ndi mgwirizano, ndikuphunzira zambiri za wina ndi mnzake.
4. Kuphunzira mbali ya chibwenzi
Kukhala pachibwenzi ndi anthu ena nthawi yopatukana ndi lupanga lakuthwa konsekonse. Kumbali imodzi, kubwerera ku malo azibwenzi nthawi zambiri kumakhala kosasangalatsa ngati mwakhala muukwati kwanthawi yayitali ndipo mwina kukukumbutsani zinthu zonse zomwe mumasowa za bwenzi lanu lakale.
Kumbali inayi, mutha kuyamba kukondana ndi munthu watsopano, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti banja lanu liziyenda bwino. Ngati mukuchita kusakhulupirika nthawi yopatukana ndiye kuti palibe chifukwa chotetezera ubale wanu.
Simuyenera kuda nkhawa ndi mafunso onga ngati zinthu zimatenga nthawi yayitali bwanji mutapatukana, muyenera kuyang'ana paubwenzi wanu womwe wawonongeka.
Poyambiranso kusakhulupirika muyenera kusankha kusakhala pachibwenzi ndi anthu ena panthawi yopatukana kwanu, mudzakhalabe ndi mwayi wobwererana nanu.
Izi zitha kukhala gawo lalikulu pakupulumuka m'banja pambuyo pa kusakhulupirika. Mukabwereranso pachibwenzi ndi mnzanuyo, mudzabwezeretsedwanso nthawi yomwe munali mavuto okhudzana ndi kugonana, chilakolako, umagwirira, ndipo mnzanuyo amayesa kukukondweretsani ndikumverera kuti ndinu apadera.
Izi zitha kuyambitsa chidwi ndikukhazikitsanso kulumikizana pakati pa inu ndi mnzanu ndikuthandizanso kuchira kusakhulupirika.
5. Nthawi yokhayo imaperekanso mawonekedwe
Kukhala wekha panthawi yochira ndi chisankho chovuta. Kupatula apo, mwakhala zaka zambiri ndi munthu yemweyo ndikupanga dongosolo labwino limodzi. Mwadzidzidzi banja lanu ladzala ndi ziphuphu ndipo mudzadzimva osakwatiwa, ngakhale kwakanthawi.
Iyi ikhoza kukhala nthawi yowopsa. Mutha kumva kulemera kunyamula zovuta izi nokha, osasowa chilimbikitso chomwe mudakhala nacho kuchokera kwa mnzanu.
Momwe mungamangenso banja mutatha chibwenzi? Tengani nthawi kuti mupeze malingaliro ofunikira pakuchira kusakhulupirika.
Mawu oti "Kusakhalapo amachititsa kuti mtima ukhale wokondwa" akugwiranso ntchito pa izi. Pokhudzana ndi kuchira, kukhala nokha kumakuthandizani kukumbukira yemwe mulibe mnzanu komanso kukupatsani nthawi yoganizira zomwe mukufuna m'tsogolo mwanu.
Ngakhale kukhululukirana kukadali kutali, maanja ambiri amasintha malingaliro awo akasiyana ndipo amatha kunena kuti kuwawa kothetsa vutoli kuli bwino kuposa kukhala nokha. Kudzimva kotereku kumatha kuthandizanso kuchira kusakhulupirika.
6.Kupangitsa kupatukana kwanu kukhala kopambana
Pali zambiri zomwe zimapangitsa kupatukana kukhala kopambana kuposa kungochoka panyumba osabwereranso. Kulekana kumakupatsani mwayi wodziwa zomwe inu ndi mnzanu mukufuna m'tsogolo.
Tsoka ilo, zolinga zanu sizingafanane nthawi zonse. Ngati cholinga chanu ndi kugwirizananso ndi kulimbitsa banja lanu kuposa kale, muyenera kukhazikitsa malamulo oyenera kukhalira.
Mwachitsanzo, sankhani amene achoka panyumbapo, mungatani kuti mukhale kholo limodzi ngati mungakhale ndi ana limodzi, kaya mungakhale ndi chibwenzi ndi anthu ena panthawiyi, kuti mukufuna kuti kulekana kwanu kumalizike mpaka liti, ndi upangiri uti womwe mungachite ngati banja pakadali pano.
Onetsetsani kuti kulekana kwanu koyesa kuli ndi malamulo ndi malire. Simungapitilize kukumana, kumenya nkhondo, ndikuchita zinthu momwe munkachitira pamene zinthu zinali bwino.
Izi sizingokupangitseni kuti muwoneke, komanso zitha kukulitsa chilonda chomwe kusakhulupirika kwadzetsa muubwenzi wanu. Malamulo ndiofunikira pobwezeretsa kusakhulupirika.
Lankhulani ndi wothandizira musanasankhe kupatukana, komanso mugwiritse ntchito nthawiyo ndi othandizira kukhazikitsa malamulo. Ndizovuta kuchita nokha.
Muthanso kufunafuna chithandizo cha kusakhulupirika kuchokera kwa phungu kapena wothandizira. Osati maubale onse amapulumuka osakhulupirika; ndizotheka kuti chibwenzi chanu sichitha.
Kodi banja lingathe kupulumuka chigololo popanda uphungu?
Mabanja ambiri omwe adakhalapo munthawi yachinyengo amafunikira uphungu kuti ateteze banja atachita chigololo. Kusakhulupirika kumatha kusokoneza banja m'njira yoti sizingatheke kuti maanja ambiri athetse mavuto awo pawokha.
Ndi nthawi iti yomwe mungataye banja mukakhala osakhulupirika?
Mukakhala olekanitsidwa kuti muchiritse kusakhulupirika komanso kuwawidwa mtima ndi mkwiyo zatha koma mukuganizabe kuti ubale womwe mudali nawo ndi wokondedwa wanu sungakonzeke. Mukamaganiza kuti kumanganso banja mutatha kupatula sizingatheke, ndi nthawi yoti muthe.