Zamkati
- 1. Mumalankhula koma osalankhulana
- 2. Ndewu zokhalitsa ndi mikangano
- 3. Kusamvana pa nthawi yoyambira banja
- 4. Kusasinthasintha
- 5. Kusakhala pachibwenzi
- 6. Kusalemekezana
Nthawi zambiri zimakhala zovuta kumvetsetsa momwe okwatirana angadumphire kuchokera 'limodzi mpaka kufa' mpaka 'sitikugwira ntchito' mpaka 'ndiyenera kusudzulana' mwadzidzidzi.
Mwina, ndichifukwa choti sizomwe zimawonekera; Chibwenzi cholimba sichitha patangopita masekondi, koma kwenikweni ndichotsatira cha zinthu zina zomwe zimangochitika osawadziwa banjali likakhala limodzi.
Zowonadi, zizindikiro zosudzulana nthawi zina zimakhala zodabwitsa komanso zopusa. Komabe, tiwonedwa, titha kuwazindikira ndipo ngakhale kufunsira ukadaulo kwa iwo.
Nazi zizindikilo 6 zapamwamba kwambiri zomwe zimawonetsa kuti zovuta sizingakukondereni ndikuyankha funso lanu, 'kodi ndiyenera kusudzulana?'
Pokumbukira kuti banja lililonse ndi losiyana ndipo ubale uliwonse umakhala ndi zochitika zake, zizindikilozi sizikhoza kuwonetsa kusudzulana kwa aliyense.
Komabe, zimalimbikitsidwanso kuti muzizindikira, ndikuyesetsa kuzikonza chifukwa ndibwino kusamala pamaso pa omwe akuvulala.
1. Mumalankhula koma osalankhulana
Ngati mukuganiza, ndi nthawi yanji yothetsa banja, yesani kudziwa ngati nonse mumalumikizana bwino kapena ayi? Kulankhulana sikutanthauza kungolankhula chabe. Mwina, ndizomwe mumachita tsiku lililonse ndi aliyense.
Koma zikafika kwa mnzanu, siziyenera kukhala chonchi. M'banja losinthana mawu pang'ono, tsiku limatha kupanga kusiyana pakati panu ndi mnzanu. Khalidwe lotere, mukawonetsedwa, limafooketsa chikondi ndi chikondi chomwe mumagawana.
Zitha kupangitsa kuti m'modzi wa inu azunzike mtima chifukwa sizovuta kukhala ndi mnzanu wapamtima kwambiri koma kutali nanu.
Chifukwa chake, maanja akuyenera kumvetsetsa kuti kulumikizana ndikosiyana. Zokhudza kumvera ndi kumvetsetsa mnzanu zomwe zimakulitsa kukondana.
Ndizokhudza kumvera mawu awo amkati. Kuyambira kugawana nawo zinsinsi zanu mpaka kuseka ndikulira limodzi, zonsezi ndi 'kulumikizana.'
2. Ndewu zokhalitsa ndi mikangano
Kulimbana ndi mnzanu kapena kusamvana mu chibwenzi ndichinthu chachilendo kuchitika. Ndiye, mungadziwe bwanji nthawi yothetsa banja?
Nkhondo ndi mikangano ikayamba pakati pa nonse masiku awiri, ndiye kuti nthawi yake kuti mumvetse kuti si zachilendo. Ndipo, mwina izi ndi zizindikiro zakuti mwakonzeka kusudzulana.
Mikangano nthawi zambiri imachitika pomwe anthu amakonda kukokera m'malo awo. Dziwani kuti kukhala wokonda kudzikonda ndi mkhalidwe woopsa. Imawononga moyo wanu wabanja, kuwapangitsa kukhala osakhoza kukula.
Zitha kuchitika chifukwa chakusungirana chakukhosi mnzanu, kapena mwina amatero. Chifukwa chake, zimalimbikitsidwa nthawi zonse kukambirana ndi kukonza zinthu ndi mnzanu mwamtendere komanso nthawi yomweyo. Zingamveke zovuta, koma mosakayikira ndizofunika!
3. Kusamvana pa nthawi yoyambira banja
Amuna ndi akazi nthawi zambiri amazitcha kuti zasiya chifukwa samadziona kuti ali patsamba lomwelo pankhani ya ana. Ichi ndi chizindikiro chachikulu kuti, ngati sichingathetsedwe, chitha kubweretsa kupatukana kwa inu ndi amuna kapena akazi anu.
Chifukwa chake, onetsetsani kuti mukukambirana nkhaniyi ndi mnzanuyo mophweka. Ngati ndi iwo omwe safuna ana, afunseni, ndipo yesetsani kumvetsetsa zifukwa zawo; mwina amafunikira kanthawi kochepa kuti atenge udindo waukulu ngati uwu pamapewa awo.
Ngakhale ngati ndi inu amene mumayika zofuna za mnzanu, yesani kulingaliranso zomwe mwasankha kapena kungokambirana ndi mnzanuyo ndikuyesetsa kupeza yankho mwamtendere.
Chifukwa chake, kodi ndi liti pamene banja lithe? Kapena, mumadziwa bwanji ngati mungasudzule?
Ngati mukuwona kuti palibe chomwe chingachitike ndi izi, ndipo izi ndi zomwe zikukuwonongerani thanzi lanu lam'mutu, ichi chitha kukhala chimodzi mwazizindikiro zosakwatirana zaukwati kapena zizindikiro zomwe muyenera kusudzulana.
4. Kusasinthasintha
Kodi ndiyenera kusudzulana? Ngati ili lingaliro likukusowetsani mtendere mochedwa, ndi nthawi yoti muganizire za kusasunthika kwa ubale wanu.
Kulephera kusasinthasintha kumafooketsa maziko a banja lanu.
Izi ndichifukwa choti zimapangitsa mtima ndi malingaliro amnzanu kukhala malo okayika pazomwe mumawakonda. Inef wina amachititsa wokondedwa wawo kumva chilichonse panthawiyo, ndipo osatinso china chotsatira, chitha kuwasokoneza m'maganizo.
Zowonadi, aliyense ali ndi malo osweka kumene sangathenso kupirira zambiri- mpaka pomwe amakonzekera kusudzulana; pomwe akudziwa kuti sichina koma nthawi yosudzulana!
5. Kusakhala pachibwenzi
Kupanda kukondana ndichinthu chomwe chimapangitsa munthu kuganiza- Kodi ndiyenera kusudzulana? Kodi kusudzulana ndi yankho?
Kuphonya nthawi zocheza izi kumatha kusokoneza banja lanu pang'onopang'ono, chifukwa pomwe kumachitika mwamphamvu ndiye maziko a banja lanu.
Kusakhala pachibwenzi ndi mnzanuyo kungapangitse kuti nonse mupatuke mpaka pomwe inu kapena mnzanuyo kapena onse awiri sangakondenso.
Izi zitha kupanga ngakhale kulumikizana. Chifukwa chake, izi ndizizindikiro za banja losasangalala lomwe simuyenera kunyalanyaza nthawi ina iliyonse.
Ndipo ngati kuli kotheka, muyenera kuyesetsa kuthana ndi mavutowa munthawi yake; musanafike poti mumadzifunsa nokha, 'kodi ndiyenera kusudzulana?'
Onaninso: 7 Zambiri Zomwe Zimayambitsa Kusudzulana
6. Kusalemekezana
Kusalemekeza aliyense ndimakhalidwe osayenera, ndipo ndichinthu china chomwe sichiyenera kuwonetsedwa kwa wokondedwa wanu.
Tsopano, mumadziwa liti kuti nthawi yakusudzulana, kapena muyenera kusudzula liti?
Ngati mulibe ulemu mbanja mwanu ndipo zikuchulukirachulukira pakapita nthawi. Ngati mukuwona kuti mwayesetsa ndi zonse zomwe mwachita kuti mulandire chibwenzi chanu, ndibwino kuti mudzifunse nokha 'kodi ndiyenera kusudzulana?'
Muukwati, kupanda ulemu ndikofunika kwambiri, ndipo pazaka zapitazi kuyambitsa kupatukana kwa maanja omwe amawoneka ngati osasweka. Chifukwa chake, lemekezani mnzanu ndipo apangitseni kuti nawonso akulemekezeni.
Sizingopulumutsa banja lanu kuti lithe koma zikuthandizaninso kukulitsa kumvana, kumvana ndi kukondana.
Ndizovuta kudziwa nthawi yosudzulana. Koma, musanafike pamfundo yoti mudzifunse nokha, 'Kodi ndingathetse banja,' muyenera kuyesetsa kuti mupulumutse banja lanu.
Kupatula apo, ndizosavuta kuyamba ndi kuyamba, ubale, ndipo zimatenga nthawi ndi khama kuti mupitilize. Koma, pamapeto pake, ndi koyenera kuchita zonse zomwe zimafunikira kuti musunge ubale wanu.