Zamkati
- 1. Zimaonetsa kukhwima
- 2. Zikusonyeza zonse zomwe akunena ndizowona
- 3. Zikuwonetsa udindo
- Kukhulupirira nkhani muubwenzi
- Kusadalira wokondedwa wanu kumalepheretsa chikondi
- Tili ndi mphamvu zopindulitsa kwambiri tikamadalira kwathunthu
- Kubwezera chidaliro kumapangitsa kuti ubale wanu usakhale wosangalatsa
Malingaliro anga ndikuti mizati iwiri yomwe chikondi chimayimilira ndichikhulupiriro ndi ulemu. Ili ndi lingaliro lofunikira kwambiri. Zinthu ziwirizi zikuyenera kupezeka kuti chikulitse ndikusunga chikondi. Izi zikutanthauza kuti tiyenera kukhulupirira yemwe tili naye pachibwenzi ndipo tiyenera kuwalemekeza, apo ayi pamapeto pake tidzayamba kuwakonda.
Ndi m'modzi mwa olemba omwe ndimawakonda, Stephen King, yemwe analemba kuti "Chikondi ndi mabodza sizigwirizana, osakhalitsa." A King anali olondola mwamtheradi. Mabodzawo adzalimbikitsanso aliyense kuti asamakhulupirire kapena kukhala ndi chidaliro chomwe tikhoza kukhala nacho mwa anzathu. Popanda chidaliro, chikondi, ngakhale chikondi chenicheni, sichingathe.
Kukhulupirira wina kumatanthauza kuti akamati, "Ndichita kanthu kena, ___________ (lembani zosalowedwapo)", achita. Ndipita kukatenga ana ndikamaliza sukulu, ndikagwire ntchito, ndikadye chakudya chamadzulo, ndi zina zambiri. ” Akanena kuti achita zinazake, ndikukhulupirira kuti amachita. Ndikamati "A" mumalandira "A," osati "B" kapena "C." Udzapeza zomwe ndanena kuti upeza. Sikuti zimangotanthauza kuti timawadalira ndikukhulupirira kuti atengapo kanthu, pali mauthenga ena angapo ophatikizidwa ndi khalidweli.
1. Zimaonetsa kukhwima
Ngati mnzanu ali mwana ngati inu ndiye simungathe kutsimikiza ngati adzachitadi kena kake kapena ayi. Akuluakulu amachita zomwe amati adzachita. Chachiwiri, zikutanthauza kuti ndikhoza kuzichotsa pa "mndandanda wazomwe ndikuchita" ndikudziwa kuti zikuyenera kuchitika. Ichi ndi mpumulo kwa ine. Pomaliza, zikutanthauza kuti titha kukhulupirira "mawu awo." Tsopano mu maubale, kukwanitsa kudalira anzathu "mawu" ndi kwakukulu. Ngati simungakhulupirike, kapena ngati simungakhulupirire wokondedwa wanu kuti achite zomwe akunena kuti achita, ndiye kuti timakayikira chilichonse. Timadabwa ndi chilichonse chomwe timawapempha kuti achite. Kodi achita izi? Kodi akumbukira kuti achita? Kodi ndiyenera kuwalimbikitsa, kapena kuwakhumudwitsa kuti achite? Popanda kukhulupirira wokondedwa wathu, timataya chiyembekezo.
Chiyembekezo ndichofunikira pakuwona tsogolo labwino ndi mnzathu. Popanda chiyembekezo, timataya chiyembekezo chakuti zinthu zidzakhala bwino komanso kuti tili pachibwenzi ndi wamkulu, kapena winawake wokhoza kukhala mnzawoyo komanso kholo lomwe tikufunika kuthana nalo theka la katunduyo. Kuti timangidwa m'goli lofanana, kapena kuti tingogwira gawo limodzi la ntchito yolera ana athu, kuyang'anira nyumba, kulipira ngongole, ndi zina zambiri.
2. Zikusonyeza zonse zomwe akunena ndizowona
Kudalira sikutanthauza kuti azichita zomwe anena kuti adzachita. Zimatanthauzanso kuti akhoza kudaliridwa ndi zomwe akunena. Ngati anthu amanama, kapena ngati atambasula chowonadi kapena kukometsa, mphamvu yomweyo imagwiranso ntchito. Ngati ana athu akunama nthawi 5%, ndiye timakayikira chilichonse. Timakayikira 95% ya zomwe akunena. Izi zimatenga mphamvu zambiri ndipo zimawononga kukondana. Anzathu amadzimvanso kuti sakumvetsedwa komanso amakhumudwa akamamva kuti 95% ya nthawi yomwe amalankhula zoona. Koma pali mwambi wakale pama psychology, "Kuda nkhawa kumabwera chifukwa chantchito yomwe sitinakonzekere kapena tsogolo lomwe silikudziwika." Ndizovuta kukhazikitsa ubale wanthawi yayitali pakutsimikizika kwa zinthu zomwe zikuchitika kapena zomwe sizikuchitika, kukhulupirira zomwe wina wanena kapena kusazikhulupirira.
3. Zikuwonetsa udindo
Ndikuganiza kuti chifukwa china chomwe kudalirana ndikofunika kwambiri pachibwenzi ndichomwe chimakhala ngati maziko oti tithe kusiya banja koyambirira kwa tsiku logwira ntchito. Ngati ndimakhulupirira mnzanga chifukwa chakuti ali ndi udindo, sindimakhala ndi mantha oti angandinamizire kapena kugona naye kunja kwa chibwenzi. Ngati sindingathe kuwakhulupirira mdziko lathu ladzikoli, ndingakhale otetezeka bwanji pokhulupirira kuti sangachite chibwenzi? Tiyenera kudalira anzathu kapena padzakhala mantha kwakanthawi kwakanthawi kochepa kuti atha kupanga zomwe zingasokoneze chitetezo changa. Tikuzindikira kuti ngati sitingakhulupirire anzathu, tikutsegulira kukhumudwa kapena kusweka mitima.
Sikuti pali vuto loti musadziwe ngati mungadalire wokondedwa wanu, pali vuto lonse la mkwiyo wawo pamene akuwona kuti simukuwakhulupirira (chifukwa nthawi ino anali kunena zoona). Mosalephera, izi zimabweretsa kufananiza pakati pa machitidwe awo ndi amwana. Sindikudziwa kuti ndamva kangati kuchipatala, "zili ngati ndili ndi ana atatu." Palibe chomwe chingakwiyitse mwamuna kapena mkazi mwachangu kapena kuwapangitsa kumva kuti ndi opanda ulemu kuposa kufananizidwa ndi mwana.
Kukhulupirira nkhani muubwenzi
Kutha kudalira ndikovuta kukulira msinkhu. Kutha kwathu kukhulupirira nthawi zambiri kumaphunziridwa tili mwana. Timaphunzira kudalira amayi athu, abambo athu, alongo athu, ndi abale athu. Kenako timaphunzira kukhulupirira ana ena oyandikana nawo, komanso mphunzitsi wathu woyamba. Timaphunzira kukhulupirira woyendetsa basi, bwana woyamba, bwenzi loyamba kapena bwenzi. Umu ndi momwe timaphunzirira kudalira. Ngati tazindikira kuti sitingakhulupirire amayi kapena abambo athu chifukwa amatizunza, kuthupi, kapena kutigwirira, timayamba kukayikira ngati tingakhulupirire konse. Ngakhale si makolo athu omwe akutizunza, ngati satiteteza kwa munthu, amalume, agogo ndi ena omwe amatizunza, timakhala ndi nkhani zodalirana. Ngati tili ndi zibwenzi zoyambirira zomwe zimaphatikizapo kusakhulupirika kapena kubera, timayamba kukhulupirirana. Izi zikachitika, timayamba kukayikira ngati tingakhulupirire. Kodi tiyenera kukhulupirira? Kapena, monga ena amakhulupirira, kuli bwino kukhala chilumba; munthu amene sayenera kudalira kapena kudalira wina aliyense. Wina yemwe sawonedwa ndi aliyense, safuna chilichonse kuchokera kwa aliyense, sangapwetekedwe ndi aliyense. Ndizotetezeka. Osati zokhutiritsa kwenikweni, koma zotetezeka. Komabe, ngakhale anthu omwe ali ndi mavuto okhulupirirana (kapena monga timawafotokozera zaubwenzi) amalakalaka chibwenzi.
Kusadalira wokondedwa wanu kumalepheretsa chikondi
Chimodzi mwazifukwa zazikulu zakukhulupilira ndi nkhani yofunika kwambiri muubwenzi ndikuti ngati sitikhulupirira mnzathu timayamba kubweza gawo lina la mtima wathu. Timakhala otetezedwa. Zomwe ndimakonda kuwauza makasitomala anga ndikuti ngati sitikhulupirira mnzathu timayamba kubweza pang'ono, pang'ono, kapena gawo lalikulu la mitima yathu (10%, 30% kapena 50% ya mitima yathu) . Titha kukhala kuti sitikuchoka koma timakhala masiku ena tikudzifunsa kuti "Ndikhale ndikuletsa mtima wanga wotani". Tifunsa kuti "ndingatani ndikadzipereka kuti andipereke?" Timayamba kuyang'ana zosankha zomwe amapanga tsiku ndi tsiku, ndikugwiritsa ntchito zisankhozo kusankha ngati tikungobweza mtima wathu wocheperako kapena zochepa chabe. Izi zikutanthauza kuti timabweza mwayi wakudziko lathu, momwe timadzilolera kuwasamalira, kukonzekera zamtsogolo nawo. Timayamba kudzikonzekeretsa kuti mwina chiyembekezo chathu chitha. Sitikufuna kuchititsidwa khungu ndi kugwidwa osakonzekera. Chifukwa tikudziwa pamlingo winawake kuti ngati sitingathe kuwakhulupirira tidzapwetekedwa. Pofuna kuchepetsa kupwetekedwa kumeneku ndikuyesetsa kuchepetsa kupweteka. Timayamba kubweza chikondi chathu, kuwasamalira. Khalani wotetezedwa. Tikudziwa kuti ngati titsegulira mitima yathu ndikuwasamalira, kuwakhulupirira, titha kupwetekedwa. Iyi ndi njira yathu yochepetsera zopwetekazo. Tikuopa zomwe zingachitike. Tsikulo likafika tikufuna kukhala oyang'anira kapena kuwongolera momwe timapwetekera. Mwakutero kuti muchepetse mwayi woti tiwonongedwe. Tikudziwa kuti tifunika kupezeka kuti tikhale ndi ana athu, kuti apitirize kugwira ntchito. Tikudziwa kuti ngati tingachepetse chiopsezo chathu kwa iwo, titha kuvulazidwa pang'ono (kapena ndizomwe timadziuza tokha).
Tili ndi mphamvu zopindulitsa kwambiri tikamadalira kwathunthu
Timalota, zaubwenzi pomwe sitiyenera kubweza mtima wathu uliwonse. Ubale pomwe timakhulupirira mnzathu ndi chidwi chathu chonse, ndi mitima yathu. Imodzi komwe sitigwiritsa ntchito mphamvu zathu kuyang'ana malingaliro ndi malingaliro athu atsiku ndi tsiku posankha zazing'ono zomwe tingatsegule, zingati mitima yathu tingaike pachiwopsezo. Mmodzi tidawakhulupirira kwathunthu. Imodzi komwe mphamvu zathu zitha kupita kukachita zopindulitsa m'malo modzitchinjiriza.
Kudalira ndikofunikira chifukwa ngati tingakhulupirire kuti azisunga mawu awo, titha kuwakhulupirira ndi mitima yathu. Titha kuwakhulupirira ndi chikondi chathu. Timatsegulira zochitika zathu zamkati kwa iwo ndikukhala pachiwopsezo chifukwa cha izi. Koma ngati awonetsa kuti sangakhale odalirika pazinthu zazing'ono, tidziwa kuti tiyenera kubweza mitima yathu yambiri.
Kubwezera chidaliro kumapangitsa kuti ubale wanu usakhale wosangalatsa
Okondedwa athu atha kuzindikira kapena mwina sazindikira kuti tayamba kubweza gawo lina la mitima yathu. Ndipo chifukwa choti munthu amabweza gawo lina la mtima wawo sizitanthauza kuti akukonzekera kusiya mnzake. Zimangotanthauza kuti munthu ali ndi mantha kuti malingaliro awo atha kukhala pachiwopsezo, ndikuti ayambe kudzipulumutsa. Tikayamba kuyika mitima yathu pang'ono, anthu ambiri amayamba kuganiza zosiya banja kapena banja lawo momwe zingakhalire zabwino kukhala ndi munthu amene angamudalire. Mitima yathu ikakhala yocheperako, anthu amayamba kupanga mapulani oti angakopeke. Apanso, izi sizitanthauza kuti akuchokadi, koma akufuna kukhala okonzekera kuthekera.
Ngati mukuwona kuti mnzanu ali kutali, mwina ndi nthawi yoti mufunse funso ... Kodi mumandikhulupirira? Chifukwa ngati yankho ndi "ayi", ndiye kuti mwina muyenera kukambirana ndi akatswiri za izi.