Zamkati
Anthu awiri akakwatirana amayamba ulendo limodzi, ulendo womwe ungafune kuti munthu akhale ndi maphunziro amoyo wonse. Gawo ndi sitepe pamene akukambirana zokwera ndi zotsika za moyo watsiku ndi tsiku apeza zowonadi zatsopano za wina ndi mnzake. Ndikulakwitsa kwakukulu ngati m'modzi kapena onse awiri aganiza kuti: "Tsopano tili pabanja, tizikhala pafupi komanso okondana kwambiri momwe tingathere kuti titha kumasuka ndikulola moyo upitilire ..." Kuyanjana m'banja kuyenera kukhala kuyamikiridwa nthawi zonse, kutetezedwa ndikuchitidwa. Monga malawi amoto omwe amatha kutha mosavuta ngati nkhuni zambiri siziwonjezedwa, kapena ngati madzi aponyedwa pa iwo, mutha kupeza kuti tsiku lina kulibe ubale wapabanja pomwe udalipo kale.
Ngati palibe kukondana m'banja zotsatira zake zimakhala monga kuchepa kwa chikhumbo chokhala limodzi ndipo banja lingaganize kuti akukhala miyoyo iwiri yosiyana ngakhale amagawana nyumba ndi chipinda chimodzi. Pomwe mfundoyi ifikiridwa ndikuzindikiridwa ndi onse awiri, ndi nthawi yoti achitepo kanthu zofunikira kuti abwezeretse ubale wapabanja. Onse okwatirana akuyenera kukhala odzipereka komanso olimbikitsidwa, kuzindikira zomwe ataya ndikukhala ofunitsitsa kugwira ntchito yolimbitsa ubale wawo m'banja.
Njira zotsatirazi ndi poyambira pabwino:
Bwererani kuzoyambira
Ganizirani zinthu zonse zomwe zakusangalatsani kwa mnzanu poyamba. Kumbukirani masiku akale pomwe mudakondana kwambiri kotero kuti simumatha kudikirira kuti muwonane ndikucheza limodzi ndipo panali zambiri zoti muzikambirana. Ganizirani za zinthu zomwe mumakonda kuchitira limodzi ndi malo omwe mumakonda kupitako. Nanga bwanji aliyense kulemba mndandanda kapena kulemba kalata kwa wokondedwa wanu? Uzani wina ndi mnzake zonse zomwe mumakonda ndikuyamikira za ubale wanu.Chifukwa chiyani mudafuna kukwatira nthawiyo ndipo chasintha nchiyani tsopano? Nthawi zina zomwe zimangofunika ndi nthawi yosinkhasinkha ndikukumbukira zomwe zili zofunika kwa inu kuti musinthe ndikuwongolera malingaliro anu.
Muzithana ndi mavutowo
M'banja lirilonse mumakhala zovuta zina zomwe zimabweretsa mavuto ndi mikangano. Zinthu izi mbanja zimafunika kuzisamalira ndi kuzisamalira moyenera kuti zikulitse kukondana. Zili ngati kupita kokayenda ndi kukhala ndi mwala mu nsapato zako; sungasangalale kuyenda mpaka utawerama, kumasula nsapato yako ndikuchotsa mwalawo. Dera logonana lingakhale lodzaza ndi mantha komanso mantha omwe amalanda banjali chisangalalo ndi kukwaniritsidwa komwe amayenera kukhala nako.
Izi ndizowona makamaka ngati m'modzi kapena onse awiri adakumana ndi zoopsa kapena zosasangalatsa m'mbuyomu. Nthawi zina kumakhala kofunikira komanso kopindulitsa kwambiri kufunafuna upangiri waluso kuti tithetse mavutowa ndikupeza ufulu wokondana wina ndi mnzake popanda malire. Mwina ndalama ndizovuta? Kapena mwina ndi achibale komanso apongozi? Mulimonse momwe zingakhalire, mukamayankhula moona mtima komanso momasuka wina ndi mnzake za izi ndikupeza yankho limodzi, mupeza kuti ubale wanu ulimbikitsidwa kwambiri, monganso momwe mphepo imatsukitsira mkuntho. Ngati nkhanizi zanyalanyazidwa kapena zongoponyedwa pamwamba nthawi zambiri zimakhala zoyipa m'malo mothetsa vutolo. Apanso, ndibwino kuti mupeze uphungu m'malo mongoyesa "kubisa" mavuto anu kapena kulimbana nokha.
Khalani ndi zolinga zomwezo
Mukangoyatsanso moto wachikondi chanu choyamba ndikuchotsa miyala mu nsapato zanu, ndi nthawi yoti muziyang'ana patsogolo paubwenzi wanu limodzi. Kambiranani za zolinga zanu, monga aliyense payekha komanso monga banja. Ngati muli ndi ana limodzi, zolinga zanu ndizotani polera banja lanu? Kodi zolinga zanu ndi ziti? Kodi mungathandizane bwanji kukwaniritsa zolinga zanu? Ndikofunikira kuti nonse mukokere mbali imodzi. Ngati mukuwona kuti zolinga zanu zikutsutsana kapena zopanda phindu, mwina zisankho zazikulu ndi zokambirana zingafunikire kupanga. Mukadziwa zonse za komwe mukupita, mutha kuthamanga limodzi. Munthu wanzeru nthawi ina adati chikondi chenicheni sichimangoyang'anani wina ndi mnzake koma chimangokhala kuyang'ana mbali imodzi.
Njira zitatuzi zimapanga njira yabwino yosungirana maubwenzi apabanja komanso kukulitsa kukondana m'banja: kumbukirani chifukwa chomwe mudakwatirana ndi wokondedwa wanu poyamba komanso chikondi chomwe muli nacho kwa wina ndi mnzake; khalani ndi nthawi yolimbana ndi mavuto ndi mavuto omwe amabwera pakati panu; ndipo gwirani ntchito limodzi kuti mukwaniritse zolinga zomwe mumakhala nazo pamoyo wanu.