Zamkati
- 1. Amayi anu amaumirira kuti akhale bwenzi lanu lapamtima
- 2. Zokambirana zonse zimatha ndikumva kukwiya kapena kudzimva kuti ndi wolakwa
- 3. Mukuwona kuti nthawi zonse mumapepesa
- 4. Amangokhalira kutsutsa chilichonse chomwe mungachite
- 5. Kupambana kwanu sikumamusangalatsa
- Mfundo za bonasi
Zoyipa ndizopanikiza mosatengera kuti akuchokera kwa ndani. Sikuti zimangokulepheretsani komanso zimawononga maubale, makamaka ikachokera kwa makolo. Kukhala ndi mayi kapena bambo woopsa kumatha kuwononga moyo wanu ndipo kumachepetsa kudzidalira kwanu.
Komabe, si anthu ambiri omwe amazindikira kuti ali ndi makolo oopsa. Kwa amayi oopsa, poyizoniyo amatha kukhala chifukwa chakulephera kwawo kapena chifukwa cha vuto lamatenda amisala monga zovuta zamankhwala osokoneza bongo kapena malire.
Nthawi zina, kawopsedwe kameneka amathanso chifukwa cha kusakhwima kwa amayi komwe kumapangitsa kuti mwana akhale wokhwima kwambiri komanso kuvutitsidwa ndi zizolowezi zaubwana za amayi awo.
Malinga ndiMpikisano Racine R. Henry, Ph.D., izi pomwe mwana amakhala wokhwima kuposa kholo lomwe limabweretsa ubale woopsa amafotokozedwa bwino kuti "kulera" kwa mwanayo.
Kawopsedwe kamalowa pamene mwana yemwe wakhala akugwira ntchito zakuthupi / zam'maganizo / zamaganizidwe zomwe kholo limayembekezera, mwadzidzidzi amatopa nazo ndikusiya maudindowo.
Kusamvana kumabuka pamene kholo silikufuna kusintha ndikukhala m'malo mwa chibwenzi.
Ngati mukukayikira amayi anu kuti ali ndi poizoni, pansipa pali zina mwazizindikiro zowopsa zomwe mungafune kuyang'ana ndi zomwe mungachite zikadzakhala zowona.
1. Amayi anu amaumirira kuti akhale bwenzi lanu lapamtima
Sindikumvetsa izi pamtunda. Ngati munayang'anapo Kutanthauza Atsikana wolemba Amy Poehler, ndiye kuti muyenera kuti mwawona mawonekedwe a "amayi ozizira". Ichi ndi chitsanzo chapadera cha mayi woopsa.
Zimamveka mwachidziwikire kuti ndizabwino komanso zotsitsimula kukhala ndi mayi wachikondi kunyumba komanso wokhutiritsa kwambiri ngati 'angathe kukhala bwenzi lanu lapamtima. Komabe, mphamvu izi zitha kupanganso zovuta ngati zingatengeke kwambiri.
Nthawi zambiri 'amayi abwino'wa amatembenukira ana awo monganso bwenzi loopsa.
Izi amachita pakupanga mpikisano mosafunikira ndi ana awo ndikupanga chilichonse chomwe chingasokoneze chidaliro chawo.
Mbendera yofiira muzochitika zabwino za 'amayi ozizira' iyenera kuchotsedwa mukamamva kupikisana ndi amayi anu m'malo mokondedwa ndi kuthandizidwa. Malinga ndi a Debbie Mandel, wolemba komanso katswiri wodziwa za kupsinjika, chinthu chabwino kuchita pankhaniyi ndikupanga mtunda pakati pa nonse awiri ndikuyika malire.
2. Zokambirana zonse zimatha ndikumva kukwiya kapena kudzimva kuti ndi wolakwa
Mwana aliyense angakonde atakhala ndi makolo omwe angatembenukire kwa iwo atagwera pansi kapena kumverera pansi ndi kunja. Amayi oopsa samamvetsetsa lingaliro losavuta ili.
Nthawi zonse amakhala ndi cholinga chotembenuza zokambirana zilizonse komanso mavuto aliwonse okhudzana ndi iwo okha, ndikupangitsa ana awo kukhala okwiya, olakwa kapena osawoneka.
Amayi oopsa sangakulole kuti mugwire zomwe zalakwika, nthawi zonse amazitembenuza ndikukuipangitsani kumapeto kwake.
Pambuyo pake, mumakhala ndi zokhumudwitsa zazikulu. Ndipo zikakhala choncho, ndibwino kuti mutembenuzire zinthu ndikupeza munthu yemwe mungamudalire mukamadzimva kuti ndi wotsika, monga bwenzi lapamtima, wothandizira kapena mnzanu yemwe sangatembenukire ku zinthu zonse zomwe zingakusiyeni mukumva kuwawa .
3. Mukuwona kuti nthawi zonse mumapepesa
Kulephera kupepesa ndiye njira yayikulu kwambiri yakusakhwima. Ngati mukuwona kuti kukukakamizani kuti nthawi zonse muzikhala opepesa chilichonse chikasokonekera pakati pa inu ndi amayi anu, muyenera kuwona ngati mbendera yofiira.
Anthu oledzeretsa nthawi zonse zimawavuta kutenga udindo ndikunyamula zotsatira za zisankho zawo komanso machitidwe awo.
Ngati ndi choncho ndi amayi anu, ndiye kuti ali ndi poizoni. Chifukwa chake, ndichanzeru kupeza kutalikirana pakati panu mpaka zinthu zitakhazikika pakakhala kusamvana komwe sangazindikire kupempha kwanu kupepesa.
4. Amangokhalira kutsutsa chilichonse chomwe mungachite
Kudzudzula kumawoneka ngati chinthu chokhacho chomwe mayi woopsa (kapena makolo owopsa ambiri) amadziwa. Amayi oledzeretsa amasankha chilichonse chaching'ono chokhudza mwana wawo wamkulu osazindikira zovuta zake.
Ngati mukuganiza kuti muli ndi mayi woopsa, mudzazindikira kuti simungachite chilichonse molingana ndi iye. Umu ndi momwe zimakhalira kuti akulimbana ndi kusakhwima.
Njira yabwino kwambiri ngakhale mutakhala ovuta bwanji mwina ndi kunyalanyaza ndemanga zake zoyesayesa ndikuyesa kufunafuna kutsimikizika ndi upangiri kuchokera kuzinthu zina zomwe mungathe.
5. Kupambana kwanu sikumamusangalatsa
Ndi zachilendo komanso zofala kwambiri makolo akamavutika kuti amvetsetse kuti ana awo akula ndipo ayambitsa okha.
Komabe, ndizachisoni kuti makolo ena, makamaka mayi wosakhwima, ayesa kukulepheretsani kuchita bwino.
Safuna kuti mupambane panokha. Izi amamasulira kuti sakumufunanso.
Mfundo za bonasi
Mayi woopsa adzawonetsanso zizindikilo monga:
- Kukambirana naye koyenera ndi sitima yomwe sangakwereko posachedwa
- Sadzachirikiza ubale wanu pakadali pano. Amangoyendetsa pakati panu ndi okondedwa anu. Iye sali mtundu woti azitsutse izo; sangakuloreni kuti musangalale ndi aliyense
- Ndiwonyenga, akuyesera kuti akugonjetseni kapena akhale ndi njira yake poyambitsa chifundo chanu nthawi zonse
- Amakukalipira nthawi zonse ngakhale ndi zinthu zazing'ono kapena zopanda nzeru
- Amakukokerani kwamuyaya kuti mukonze mavuto ake onse ndikukutsutsani pamene zinthu sizikuyenda bwino
- Amangofuna kukulamulirani inu ndi abale anu ndipo akufuna kupangitsa abale anu kuti azitsutsana, chifukwa chake sanasiyidwe ndikumverera kuti amafunikira nthawi zonse
Pazifukwa zonse zomwe mayi angaganize kuti akhale poizoni- mwina chifukwa cha kusakhwima, zovuta zosasinthidwa zam'mbuyomu kapena chifukwa cha vuto la umunthu, kawopsedwe sayenera kukhala ndi banja. Ndipo ziribe kanthu kuti ndi zovuta bwanji kuthana nazo, muyenera kukhala ndi malire oti akutetezeni ndikugwira ntchito pakukula kwanu. Zitha kulimbikitsa amayi anu kuti asinthe.