Zamkati
- Kufotokozera Kudalira
- Kodi choyambitsa chodalira ndi chiyani?
- Kulera ndi kudalira
- Kholo loteteza mopitirira muyeso
- Wotetezedwa ndi kholo
- Mphamvu zakubanja zomwe zimayambitsa kudalira
- Kodi ubale wodalirana umakula bwanji?
- Kodi mungadziwe bwanji ngati mumadalira ena?
- Maubwenzi odalirana kuchokera paubwana kufikira uchikulire
- Kodi mungathane bwanji ndi kudalira kododometsa?
- Mfundo Yofunika Kwambiri
Ambiri aife takulira ndi malingaliro abwinobwino achikondi omwe amadziwika ndi nthabwala zachikondi, ngakhale anthu.
Lingaliro loti theka lathunthu ndi lovuta chifukwa limalimbitsa chikhulupiriro chakuti sitili okwanira pokhapokha mpaka titakhala ndi mnzathu. Chikhalidwe cha pop chatipangitsa kukhulupirira kuti anzathu akuyenera kukhala athu onse ndikumaliza zonse.
Koma kodi izi zapangitsa kuti pakhale kudalira maubale?
Kuti mumvetsetse chomwe chimayambitsa kudalira, ndikofunikira kuti mutanthauzire koyamba ndikutha kuzindikira. Nazi zonse zomwe muyenera kudziwa pazodalira komanso momwe zimawonekera m'maubwenzi.
Kufotokozera Kudalira
Tisanazindikire chomwe chimayambitsa kudalira, ndikofunikira kuti tione kaye chomwe chimadalira.
John ndi Sarah anali paubwenzi kwazaka zisanu. Ngakhale amakondana kwambiri, sanali kusangalala ndi mbali zina zaubwenzi wawo. Onsewa adachita zonse limodzi ndipo amada nkhawa ngati atakhala kutali.
Anzathu nthawi zambiri ankaseka kuti awiriwa adalumikizana m'chiuno ndipo anali "kugula mmodzi kuti agule chimodzi." Sarah anali wolemba zojambulajambula yemwe ankagwira ntchito kunyumba ndipo analibe abwenzi ambiri.
Amakhala nthawi yayitali kunyumba akugwira ntchito ndikuwongolera ntchito zapakhomo. Madzulo, amayembekeza kuti John abwere kunyumba kuti akapange zosangalatsa kapena ntchito zina monga kugula limodzi. Amamverera kuda nkhawa kuti ayitanitse chakudya yekha popanda kuvomerezedwa ndi John.
Mbali inayi, John anali wodziyimira pawokha ndipo anali ngati mutu wotsatsa pakampani yapadziko lonse lapansi. Anali ndi zosangalatsa zosiyanasiyana komanso gulu lalikulu la abwenzi. Adachita bwino podziyimira pawokha ndikukhala moyo wabwino.
Pomwe anali ndi zochuluka za iye yekha, moyo wake unkawoneka wopanda kanthu popanda Sarah mmenemo. Amakonda momwe amamufunira ndikumverera kuti ndiwothandiza komanso pano.
Kudalira kumawoneka kosiyana kwa anthu osiyanasiyana, monga nkhani yomwe ili pamwambayi ikuwonekera.
Chizindikiro chodziwikiratu chodalira mgwirizano pakati pa akuluakulu awiri ndi pamene m'modzi wa iwo ali ndi zosowa zazikulu zakuthupi ndi zamaganizidwe. Wokondedwayo amakhala nthawi yochuluka akuyesera kuti akwaniritse zosowazo.
Mu nkhani ya Sarah ndi John, Sarah ndi amene ali ndi zosowazo, ndipo John ndiamene amayesetsa kuzikwaniritsa.
Kumbukirani kuti kudalirana sikumangokhala paubwenzi wokondana! Ubale uliwonse ukhoza kukhala wodalirika.
Tiyeni tiwone zomwe zimayambitsa kudalira.
Kodi choyambitsa chodalira ndi chiyani?
Ndiye, nchiyani chimayambitsa kudalira?
Zambiri mwazovuta zathu, monga kudalira ena, zimapeza zomwe zimayambitsa ubwana wathu. Mwanjira ina, ubwana wanu umapeza njira zokuthandizani kuti mudzakhale wamkulu ndipo ukhoza kukhala chimodzi mwazomwe zimayambitsa kudalira.
Nchiyani chimayambitsa kudalira kwachikulire mwa akulu? Nthawi zambiri achikulire omwe amadalira anzawo amakhala mgulu la zozungulira izi pamene amagawana zolumikizana ndi makolo awo, zomwe zidakhala zachilendo kwa iwo.
Zifukwa zodalira malamulo ena zingaphatikizepo njira zolerera. Akuluakulu odalirika nthawi zambiri amakhala ndi kholo loteteza kapena kholo lomwe limateteza. Chifukwa chake, izi zikutanthauza kuti anthu mwina adapeza ufulu wambiri pamene anali kukula kapena sanali kudziyimira pawokha.
Kodi kudalirana kumayambira bwanji? Kodi ndizomwe zimayambitsa machitidwe odalirana?
Tiyenera kuwunika ubwana wathu kuti timvetsetse zomwe zimayambitsa kudalira. Mutha kutcha kudalira kodalira kuyankha kwamitundu ina yakulera.
Tiyeni tiwone zambiri za izi mgawoli.
Makolo oteteza mopitirira muyeso amatenga nawo mbali kwambiri m'miyoyo ya mwana wawo ndipo amawateteza kwambiri.
Samapatsa mwana mwayi wokhala ndi ufulu wodziyimira pawokha komanso kudzidalira popeza amakhala nawo nthawi zonse - kotero kuti mwanayo atha kukhala ndi vuto popanga zisankho tsiku ndi tsiku, monga chakudya, popanda kutenga nawo mbali.
Khalidwe lokhazikika lokhazikika komanso loteteza kwambiri ndizomwe zimayambitsa kudalira, popeza mwanayo sanapatsidwe mwayi wodziyimira pawokha.
Makolo otetezedwa ndi omwewo. Sizimakwaniritsa zosowa za mwana kapena kuwathandiza. Chifukwa chake, mwanayo amayamba kudziyimira pawokha ngati njira yolimbana ndi kunyalanyazaku.
Pansi pa makolo oteteza atha kukhala osasamala kapena otanganidwa kwambiri ndipo sangakhale ndi nthawi yolumikizana ndi mwana wawo. Khalidwe ili ndi lomwe limapangitsa kuti munthu azidalira mwana akamaphunzira kuti amangodzidalira osati wina aliyense.
Mabanja osagwira ntchito ndiye malo abwino oti anthu angodalira ena.
Kudalira pawokha kumatha kuyankha m'malo am'banja otsatirawa mukamakula:
- Makolo osathandiza
- Zinthu zosawopsa komanso zowopsa
- Manyazi
- Mlandu
- Kupondereza
- Kunyalanyaza mtima kapena kuthupi
- Malo osayembekezereka komanso osokonezeka
- Zosayembekezereka za makolo kuchokera kwa ana
- Maganizo achiweruzo
- Makolo osamala
- Kuzunza ndi mawu okhadzula
- Kukana kuti zinthu sizili bwino
Ndiye, nchiyani chimayambitsa kudalira?
Maubwenzi odalira makolo ndi ana amathanso kukhala chifukwa chodalira anthu akuluakulu.
Mwachitsanzo, ngati makolo anu amakuchitirani ngati munthu wamkulu kapena mnzanu ndikugawana nanu zinthu zomwe sayenera kukhala nazo, monga zosowa zawo zam'maganizo, mavuto, nkhawa, ndi zina zambiri, mwina mungamve kuti mukuwaganizira chifukwa iwowo zimadalira pa inu kukwaniritsa zosowazi.
Kumbali inayi, ngati makolo anu anali ndi mavuto amisala kapena kugwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo, mukadakhala kholo ngati ubalewo ndikudziwona kuti ndi omwe awachititsa.
Kodi ubale wodalirana umakula bwanji?
Tsopano popeza tadziwa chomwe chimayambitsa kudalirana, ndi nthawi yoti tikambirane funso lakuti, "Kodi kudalirana kumakula bwanji?"
Anthu ambiri omwe ali pamaubwenzi odalirana amapezeka kuti akukhala munjira izi kuyambira ali ana. Chifukwa chake, maubale odalirana ndiwo tanthauzo lachizolowezi kwa iwo.
Kudalira kwamunthu kumachitika muubwenzi, koma kumayambira muubwana uliwonse wa omwe ali mgululi.
Ngati mwadzipeza muli pachibwenzi, mwayi wake ndikuti nonse munadalirana ngakhale tsiku lanu loyamba lisanakhale. Mukudziwa, maubale odalirana amayamba pamene achikulire awiri - m'modzi yemwe amangokhala chabe ndipo winayo yemwe ndiwofunika kwambiri amakumana.
Nthawi ikamapita komanso kulumikizana pakati pa awiriwa kukuwonjezeka, amayamba kufunana mowirikiza.
Kodi mungadziwe bwanji ngati mumadalira ena?
Tiyeni tiwone kudalira pa maubwenzi.
Anthu ambiri amalephera kuzindikira kuti atha kukhala odalirana chifukwa mwina sangakhale ndi chidziwitso chazomwe maubwenzi apamtima amayenera kuwonekera, ndichifukwa chake amalimbana ndi ubale.
Nazi zina mwa zizindikiro za kudalira kwa akuluakulu:
- Kusakhoza kukhutira ndi zinthu zina m'moyo.
- Kutsuka makhalidwe oipa a mnzanu pansi pa rug.
- Kupereka chithandizo kwa mnzanu pangozi ya thanzi lanu, malingaliro, ndi malingaliro.
- Kudziimba mlandu pazinthu zomwe mwina simunayambitsepo.
- Kulephera kudalira anthu chifukwa akhoza kukupweteketsani ndikukulepheretsani mobwerezabwereza.
- Osalola kuti anthu azikuthandizani.
- Kukhala ndiudindo waukulu pachilichonse.
Anthu ambiri amaganiza kuti kufunika kolimbikitsidwa muubwenzi ndi chisonyezo chodalira chibwenzi. Izi, komabe, ndi malingaliro olakwika wamba. Tonsefe titha kufuna kupumula kuchokera kwa anzathu mobwerezabwereza, ndipo palibe cholakwika ndi izi.
Nazi zina mwazodalira kudalira maubwenzi:
Maubwenzi odalirana kuchokera paubwana kufikira uchikulire
Zinthu zomwe sizinasinthidwe kuyambira ubwana wanu zimakutsatirani mpaka kukhala wamkulu. Mutha kupeza kuti mwakhala mukukhala ndikukhalanso ndi moyo womwewo mobwerezabwereza mpaka mutha kusiya iwo.
Ngakhale simungathe kusintha zochitika zanu zaubwana, mutha kuthana ndi izi kudzera pantchito komanso kuthandizidwa ndi akatswiri azaumoyo.
Upangiri wa aliyense payekha komanso wapabanja ungakuthandizeni kuthana ndi machitidwewa.
Kodi mungathane bwanji ndi kudalira kododometsa?
Tsopano popeza tadziwa chomwe chimayambitsa kudalirana, ndi nthawi yoti tithane nayo.
Kufunafuna chithandizo cha katswiri wamankhwala ophunzitsidwa bwino ndi gawo labwino kwambiri lomwe mungachite.
Kuphatikiza apo, mutha kuyesetsanso kuphunzitsa zosintha zotsatirazi muubwenzi wanu kuti muthane ndi vutolo.
Izi zikuphatikiza:
- Kuphunzira kudzipatula wina ndi mnzake ndikuchita zochepa kuti mupange mtunda woyenera ndi malire. Mutha kuyesa kuchita zosangalatsa kunja kwa chibwenzi chanu, kupanga zibwenzi, ndi zina zambiri.
- Kulimbikitsa kudziyimira pawokha muubwenzi ndikuphunzira momwe mungayendetsere zinthu nokha.
- Kutenga "nthawi yanga" mu sabata yomwe nonse mudzakhala nthawi yopatukana - kungakhale kosiyana ndi usiku.
- Osalola kuti zizolowezi zoyipa ziziyenda ndikulankhula nazo momwe zimachitikira.
Zosinthazi zingawoneke zowopsa komanso zowopsa poyamba koma zidzakuthandizani popita nthawi. Ngati kupatukana kumadzetsa nkhawa kwambiri, itha kukhala nthawi yoti mupemphe thandizo kwa akatswiri azaumoyo.
Ngati mukuwopa kuti mumadalira anthu ena ndipo mukufuna kuti musinthe, nali buku lolembedwa ndi a License of Marriage and Family Therapist Darlene Lancer kuti akuthandizeni kuzindikira zizindikirazo ndikuthana nazo.
Mfundo Yofunika Kwambiri
Kodi takuthandizani kuwunika zonse zomwe mumafunikira kudziwa pazodalira maubale?
Osadziweruza nokha kapena kukhala wankhanza kwambiri chifukwa chodalira ena.
Dziwani kuti mudali mwana pomwe mudakhazikika kuti mugwirizane ndi zovuta. Ngakhale kudalirana kukuthandizani kwanthawi yayitali, sikugwiranso ntchito ndipo mwina kumalepheretsa ubale wanu.
Khalani okoma mtima kwa inu nokha ndipo funani chithandizo ndi chithandizo ngati mukuganiza kuti mukuchifuna.