Zomwe Zimapanga Ubale Wathanzi Wamphamvu

Zamkati

• Kodi mphamvu ndi chiyanjano chotani?
• Kukula kwamphamvu paubwenzi
• Mphamvu za 5 m'maubwenzi abwino
• Kodi maubwenzi muubwenzi angasinthe?
• Chifukwa chiyani kuli kofunika kukonza ubale wanu?
• Njira zisanu zosinthira ubale wanu
• Malangizo pakuthana ndi zovuta zaubwenzi
• Tengera kwina

Momwe timalumikizirana ndi kulumikizana ndi ena zimakhala maziko opangira ubale wathu. Momwe timayimira kapena kunyamula nokha, mawu omwe timagwiritsa ntchito, nkhope yathu ndimakhalidwe oyanjana omwe amapanga mphamvu mu ubale.

Zikuwonekeratu kuti machitidwe amgwirizano amatenga gawo lofunikira pamagulu onse azandale, andale komanso azachuma, chifukwa chake tiyeni tikumbe mozama zomwe zili muubwenzi wabwino komanso momwe tingawongolerere.

Kodi mphamvu ndi chiyanjano chotani?

Mphamvu zakukondana zitha kufotokozedwa ngati njira zolumikizirana zomwe zimachitika pakati pa okwatirana.

Maubwenzi abwinobwino amaphatikizapo kumvera zomwe wokondedwa wanu akunena, kuyamika ndi kuyamika mnzanuyo, ndikukhala okonzeka kupepesa komanso kuwonetsa chikondi mwa kukhudza kapena mawu abwino.

Kumbali inayi, zochitika muubwenzi zitha kukhala zopanda thanzi kapena zoyipa ngati nthawi zonse zimakhudza m'modzi mwa iwo omwe amakwiyitsa mnzake.

Kuti mumvetsetse bwino zomwe zimapangitsa kuti banja likhale labwino, ndikofunikira kuti mumvetsetse tanthauzo la ubale. Kuphatikiza pamitundu yolumikizirana muubwenzi, mawonekedwe apabanja amatenga mbali zosiyanasiyana.

Kukula kwamphamvu paubwenzi

Konzani / Limbikitsani, pulogalamu yaupangiri ya mabanja, imapereka kukula kwa ubale kuwunika ngati mphamvu za mabanja zili zathanzi. Mulingo uwu umawunika mbali zinayi zotsatirazi:

• Kudzipereka: Mbali iyi yamphamvu yamaubwenzi imawunika ngati mnzake ali ndi mwayi wofotokozera zosowa zake ndipo amafuna moona mtima pomwe amakhala aulemu.
• Kudzidalira: Khalidwe ili limafotokoza momwe munthu amadzionera kuti ali ndi thanzi labwino komanso amakhala ndi moyo wabwino.
• Kupewa: Mnzanu yemwe wapeza bwino kwambiri pamtunduwu wamabanja amatha kuchepetsa kusamvana ndikukana kuthana kapena kuthana ndi mikangano m'banjamo.
• Kugwirizana Kwazogwirizana: M'magulu awiri apabanja, kulamulira kwa anzawo kumafotokoza ngati mnzake kapena m'modzi akuwoneka kuti akuwongolera chibwenzicho.

Relationship Dynamics Scale, yomwe imawunika zomwe zatchulidwazi, imafuna kuti mamembala a banjali azinena zonena zosiyanasiyana pamlingo kuyambira 1 mpaka 3, pomwe 1 imatanthauza kuti machitidwe samachitika pafupifupi pachibwenzi, ndipo 3 kutanthauza kuti zimachitika pafupipafupi. .

Mwachitsanzo, sikeloyo imapempha munthu kuti alembe izi: "Tikamakangana, m'modzi wa ife amatuluka ... zomwe sizikufuna kuyankhulanso; kapena akuchokapo. ” Kulemba 3 pachinthu ichi kungakhale kopewetsa, komwe kumatha kuyambitsa ubale wolimba.

Chibwenzi chikakhala ndi mavuto mbanja, wina atha kukhala osachita chilichonse kapena kuvutika kufotokoza malingaliro awo kapena zakukhosi kwawo. Mnzanu amene sakukakamira m'banja atha kukhumudwitsa ena ndikunyalanyaza mikangano, ndikuwonetsanso kupewa.

Mphamvu zosakhazikika zimatha kuphatikizaponso m'modzi mwa maubwenzi kupanga zisankho ndikuyesera kuwongolera mnzake. Nthawi zina, izi zimatha kukhala chifukwa cha m'modzi mwa omwe ali ndi vuto lodzidalira.

Mosasamala kanthu zakusintha kwake, sizabwino kapena zopindulitsa pachibwenzi ngati m'modzi ali wopambana pomwe mnzake amapewa mikangano ndipo amavutika kufotokoza zosowa zake ndi momwe akumvera.

Mphamvu za 5 m'maubwenzi abwino

Ngakhale zovuta zomwe mabanja ali nazo zitha kupewetsa mikangano ndi / kapena munthu m'modzi wolamulira chibwenzicho, magwiridwe abwinobwino mu ubale ndiwosiyana kwambiri.

Mphamvu mu maubale athanzi zimaphatikizapo mayendedwe abwino, omwe amadziwika ndi kudzidalira kwambiri komanso kulimba mtima. Izi zimakhala zoyenda bwino, chifukwa kudzipereka kwambiri kumapangitsa kuti munthu akhale wolimba mtima.

Pamene onse awiri akudzidalira komanso kulumikizana modzipereka, membala aliyense wa chibwenzicho amatha kufotokoza zosowa zawo, zofuna zawo, ndi momwe akumvera, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti banja likhale lolimba.

Mphamvu zathanzi zimaphatikizaponso kuwongolera kochepa komanso kupewa. Ulamuliro ukakhala wochepa, ubalewo umakhala wathanzi, chifukwa onse omwe ali pachibwenzi amamva kuti zosowa zawo ndizofunikira, ndipo amatha kukhala ndi mawu pachibwenzi.

Ngati kupewa kuli kochepa, kusamvana kumayankhidwa m'malo mozikankhira pambali. Izi zimalola kulumikizana momasuka ndi kuthetsa mikangano moyenera, kuti mkwiyo usamange muubwenzi.

Monga Konzekerani / Kulemeretsa kumafotokozera, mphamvu zinayi muubwenzi ndizogwirizana kwambiri ndipo zitha kubweretsa ubale wosangalala ngati mphamvu zili zathanzi.

Mwachitsanzo, ngati okwatirana apambana kwambiri paubwenzi wolimba mtima, okwatirana amakonda kukondana kwambiri ndikukhutira ndi kulumikizana kwawo.

Nazi zina mwazizindikiro zisanu zapamwamba zakusintha kwachikhalidwe muubwenzi:

• Mukutha kufotokoza zakukhosi kwanu, malingaliro anu, ndi zosowa zanu popanda kukwiya.
• Mukuwona kuti wokondedwa wanu amakuwonani mofanana, ndipo mumazindikiranso kuti mnzanuyo ndiwofanana.
• Mumadziona kuti ndinu munthu wabwino.
• Mutha kuthetsa kusamvana bwino ndikupewa mikangano kuti mukhalebe mwamtendere.
• Mukuwona kuti malingaliro anu, zosowa zanu, ndi zofuna zanu muubwenzi ndizofunikira monga za mnzanu.

Onaninso: Zizindikiro kuti muli pachibwenzi chosayenera.

Kodi maubwenzi muubwenzi angasinthe?

Ngakhale zinthu zomwe zili pachibwenzi chanu zili ndi zikhalidwe zopanda thanzi monga kulamulira kapena kupewa, zitha kusintha. Akatswiri akunena kuti mphamvu zapabanja zimaphunziridwa, zomwe zikutanthauza kuti anthu amathanso kuphunzira njira zatsopano zolumikizirana.

Ngati maanja akhala akugwiritsa ntchito njira zosayenera zaubwenzi monga kupewa kwambiri, atha kugwiritsa ntchito maluso omwe angathandize kuti banja lawo likhale labwino.

Mwachitsanzo, kuyeserera kungapangitse kuti pakhale mgwirizano wabwino, momwe onse awiri amakhala ndi chidaliro chachikulu. Izi zimachepetsa zoyipa, monga kuwongolera anzawo ndi kupewa.

Mutha kusintha mawonekedwe anu muubwenzi kukhala wabwino pogwiritsa ntchito DESC mtundu wotsimikizaMtunduwu umakhudza njira zinayi izi:

D: Fotokozani vutolo moyenera. Mwachitsanzo, mutha kuuza mnzanu kuti, "Mudakweza mawu ndikunditcha waulesi pomwe sinditsuka mbale."

E: Nenani zakukhosi kwanu ndi vutoli. Mwachitsanzo, “Mukanditchula dzina, ndinkadziona kuti ndine wachabechabe, onyoza, komanso wosafunika.”

S: Nenani zomwe mukufuna kuti zichitike mosiyana nthawi ina. Mutha kunena kuti, "Nthawi ina, ndingakonde ngati simukukweza mawu ndikunena modekha kuti zingakhale zothandiza ndikatsuka mbale."

C: Tchulani zotsatira zomwe mukuyembekeza kuti zichitike ngati mnzanu sakulemekeza zomwe mwapempha. Izi zitha kuwoneka ngati, "Ngati simungathe kuyankhula nane popanda kufuula kapena kunyozana, zipangitsa kuti pakhale kusiyana pakati pathu.

Kuyeserera chida chomwe chatchulidwa pamwambapa kumatha kuthandizira momwe zinthu ziliri muubwenzi kuti zisinthe, chifukwa chake mumalumikizana bwino kwambiri mukamakhala pachibwenzi. Izi zitha kukonza zovuta zoyanjana zomwe zimapewetsa kupewa komanso kuwongolera anzawo.

Chifukwa chiyani kuli kofunika kukonza ubale wanu?

Ngati muli mumkhalidwe woyipa wokhala ndi zoyipa zosayanjana, ndikofunikira kuchitapo kanthu kuti musinthe zochita za banja lanu. Mphamvu zakulimbitsa ubale ndizofunikira pazifukwa zingapo:

• Kusintha ubale wanu wamphamvu kungakuthandizeni kuti mukhale bwino.
• Kukhala ndi ubale wabwino kumatha kukulepheretsani inu ndi mnzanu kupatukana kapena kutha.
• Kusintha kwamphamvu kwa mabanja kungakupangitseni kukhala achimwemwe komanso okhutira ndi ubalewo.
• Mudzamva kumva ndi kumvetsedwa ndi mnzanu ngati zochitika muubwenzi zili zabwino.
• Kukulitsa ubale wanu mwamphamvu kumatha kukulitsa kukondana.

Zifukwa zisanu zakuthandizira kusintha muubwenzi womwe watchulidwa pamwambapa zawonetsedwa pofufuza. Mwachitsanzo, kafukufuku wophatikizidwa ndi ofufuza mu Florida State University ndi University of Auckland adapeza kuti njira zolumikizirana zitha kuthandiza maanja kuthana ndi kusamvana bwino.

Mwachitsanzo, nkopindulitsa kuti maanja azigwiritsa ntchito kulumikizana komanso kukhalabe achikondi pothetsa mavuto ang'onoang'ono. Izi zikuwonetseratu kufunikira kokhala ndi thanzi labwino pachibwenzi.

Ngati zochitika m'banja sizili bwino, ndikofunika kuzisintha kuti inu ndi mnzanuyo mukhale okondwa ndi momwe mumalankhulirana ndikukhala okhutira ndi ubale wanu. Pamapeto pake, izi zitha kupanga ubale wanu kukhala wolimba komanso wokhutiritsa.

Kafukufuku wina wothandizirana amalankhula za maubwino okhala ndi ubale wabwino. Kafukufukuyu adawona kuti kukhala ndi chiyembekezo komanso chifundo kumalumikizidwa ndi kuchuluka kwakukhutira pabanja. Izi zikubwerezanso kufunikira kokhala wotsimikiza komanso waulemu mukamayanjana ndi chibwenzi chanu.

Pomaliza, kafukufuku wa 2016 mu Zolemba za Psychology adapeza kuti okwatirana omwe nthawi zambiri amakhala okhutira ndi maubale awo amalumikizana bwino kwambiri, amakonda kuwonetsa kuyanjana kwabwino komanso zocheperako zochepa. Izi zikuwonetsa kuti kusintha kwamphamvu muubwenzi kumayenda kutali.

Njira zisanu zosinthira ubale wanu

Ngati mukufuna kusintha ubale wanu kuti mupewe mayendedwe olakwika, kulumikizana kosayenera, komanso kutha kwa ubalewo, pali njira zomwe mungagwiritse ntchito kuti musinthe. Nawa ena mwa asanu apamwamba:

• Yesetsani kulimba mtima pogwiritsa ntchito chida cha DESC. Kulimbitsa kudzidalira ndikofunikira makamaka, chifukwa kungakuthandizeni kuti muzimuwona mnzanuyo moyenera.
• Yesetsani kumvera mnzanuyo. Mabanja ambiri achimwemwe amafotokoza kuti anzawo ndi omvera.
• Lekani kupewa mikangano. Kuyanjana kwakukulu popewa kupezeka ndichimodzi mwazinthu khumi zomwe amuna ndi akazi amadandaula, malinga ndi kafukufuku.
• Pewani kunyoza wokondedwa wanu panthawi yosamvana. Izi zitha kubweretsa zovuta zopewera ndipo zimalumikizidwa ndikukhala osasangalala pachibwenzi.
• Khalani omasuka kugawana zakukhosi kwanu; maanja ambiri omwe ali maubwenzi odzipereka amafuna izi kuchokera kwa anzawo. Kugawana zakukhosi kumakuthandizani kuti mukhale olimba mtima komanso kupewa kupewa kuyanjana.

Kukhazikitsa mfundo zomwe tafotokozazi kungakuthandizeni kutuluka munthawi zoyipa kuti banja lanu likhale lolimba komanso kuti lisamakhutiritse maubwenzi.

Malangizo pakuthana ndi zovuta zaubwenzi

Ngati mukuvutika kuthana ndi zovuta muubwenzi, ndikofunikira kukumbukira kuti zochitika zimatha kusintha. Mutha kumva kuti mwatchera nthawi yolumikizana ndi mnzanu, koma pakapita nthawi, yesetsani, komanso kuleza mtima, mutha kupita patsogolo.

Kuthetsa zovuta zomwe zili pachibwenzi:

• Lankhulani ndi mnzanu zomwe mukufuna kuwona kuti banja lawo likusintha. Kumbukirani kuti mupewe kunyozeka ndikulankhulana modzipereka. Ndikofunika kuti nonse mukhale ndi tsamba limodzi ndipo mukhale okonzeka kuyesetsa kuti musinthe.
• Mukasankha kusintha, ndikofunikanso kuti mupereke nthawi. Simungathe kuwona zosintha mwadzidzidzi, ndipo zili bwino. Kumbukirani, mukusintha machitidwe kapena zizolowezi zomwe mwaphunzira, ndipo mungafunike kukhala oleza mtima ndi mnzanuyo komanso nanu pamene mukuphunzira njira zatsopano zolumikizirana.

Tengera kwina

Ngati mwayesapo kukonza ubale wanu koma simukuwona zosintha zomwe mungafune, itha kukhala nthawi yoti mugwire ntchito ndi mlangizi wa banja kuti akuthandizeni kuphunzira mitundu yatsopano yamaubwenzi.

Nthawi zina, gulu lachitatu lomwe sililowerera ndale lingakuthandizeni kuthetsa mavuto omwe ndi ovuta kuti muthane nawo nokha.