Zamkati
- Yambitsaninso banja lanu pofunsa mafunso ofunika
- Lekani zopweteka ndi zopweteka zakale
- Phunzirani zilankhulo zachikondi
- Tengani udindo wachimwemwe chanu
Okwatirana nthawi zina amafika pamlingo woti sakumakondananso. Wokondedwa m'modzi akhoza kutuluka mwachikondi, kapena awiriwo atha kufika pang'onopang'ono koma osafikiranso, osakondana komanso kukhala limodzi. Izi zitha kukhala zodabwitsa kwa maanja ambiri popeza ambiri mwa iwo adayamba kukhala okondana kwambiri, osatha kulingalira za moyo wawo popanda wina ndi mnzake.
Zowona, maukwati ambiri amafika poti "alibe chikondi" ndipo pali abwenzi ambiri kunja uko omwe amaganiza kuti: "Pakadali pano, sindimukondanso wokondedwa wanga". Ngati mukuganiza chonchi ndiye kuti mutha kumva kuti banja lanu likukusowetsani mtendere. Iyi si gawo losavuta kukhalamo koma mwatsoka pali njira zingapo zothetsera vuto lanu lomwe likuwoneka ngati "lopanda chiyembekezo".
Yambitsaninso banja lanu pofunsa mafunso ofunika
Nthawi ndi nthawi maubale athu onse, maukwati athu makamaka, amafunikira mwayi woyambiranso. Tiyenera kukhazikitsa ndikukhala ndi malo omwe titha kuthana nawo ndichisoni, kutayika, kupweteka komanso kunyalanyaza komwe kudapangidwa chifukwa chogawana moyo wathu ndi ena.
Njira yabwino yokwaniritsira izi ndikumakhala maola ochepa pamalo osangalatsa, ochezeka, mwachitsanzo tsiku lodyera kunyumba, mukamacheza kwambiri. Sikokwanira kungodya chakudya chokoma ndikukambirana chilichonse. Zokambiranazi ziyenera kukhala ndi mafunso ofunikira omwe angakuthandizeni kuyambiranso chikondi ndikuthandizani kuti musamve chisoni m'banja lanu.
Nawa malingaliro angapo pamafunso awa:
- Kodi ndingatani kuti ndikuthandizireni pamoyo wanu?
- Kodi pali china chilichonse chomwe ndidachita sabata / mwezi wapitawu chomwe chidakupweteketsani ine osadziwa?
- Kodi ndingatani kapena kuti ndikuuzeni chiyani mukabwera kuchokera kuntchito zomwe zingakupangitseni kumva kuti amakukondani?
- Mukumva bwanji za moyo wathu wogonana posachedwapa?
- Kodi mukuganiza kuti ndi njira iti yabwino kwambiri yosinthira ukwati wathu?
Ndikofunika kuti onse awiri afunse ndikuyankha mafunso awa moona mtima ndi mosabisa. Ukwati wovuta "sungakonzedwe" ndi khama la m'modzi yekha.
Lekani zopweteka ndi zopweteka zakale
Kupatula kukhala wofunitsitsa kukambirana nkhani zopindulitsa ndikukhala ndi udindo wowongolera banja lanu, muyeneranso kuchitapo kanthu kuti mutulutse ndikusiya zopweteketsa zomwe banja lanu lakuchititsani.
Kudzikundikira kunyalanyaza, kuipidwa ndi kudzudzulidwa kumangokupangitsani kukhala mumavuto anu ndipo kumatsekereza ndikuwononga zoyesayesa zilizonse zomwe mnzanu akuchita kuti zinthu zikhale bwino. Kulekerera zakale kumaphatikizaponso gawo lokhululukirana kwa inu nokha ndi ena kotero muyenera kukhala ofunitsitsa kupepesa, kukhululuka ndikukhululukidwa.
Ngati izi zikumveka kukhala zosokoneza komanso zosokoneza, mutha kuyamba kuphunzira kuti muzolowere “kusinkhasinkha kukhululuka”. Pa YouTube, mutha kupeza magawo angapo osinkhasinkha omwe amathandizira kukhululuka, ndipo ndi omasuka.
Phunzirani zilankhulo zachikondi
Chimodzi mwazifukwa zomwe mungamve ngati mnzanu sakukondani mwina ndichifukwa chakusiyana kwa zilankhulo zachikondi zomwe "mukuzilankhula".
Malinga ndi wolemba buku "The Five Love Languages: How to Express Kudzipereka Kwa Mtima Kwa Mnzanu," pali njira zosiyanasiyana zomwe timakonda kupereka ndi kulandira chikondi. Ngati njira yomwe tikufunira kulandira chikondi siyomwe mnzathu amagwiritsa ntchito kuti apereke, titha kukhala tikukumana ndi vuto lalikulu la "chilankhulo chachikondi chofanana". Izi sizitanthauza kuti chikondi kulibe. Zimangotanthauza kuti "adatayika mukutanthauzira".
Ziyankhulo zisanu zachikondi zomwe ambiri aife timayankhula ndi izi:
- Kupatsana mphatso,
- Nthawi yabwino,
- Mawu otsimikiza,
- Ntchito zodzipereka (kudzipereka),
- Kukhudza thupi
Zili kwa ife kuzindikira zomwe zili zofunika kwambiri kwa ife ndi okondedwa wathu pankhani yosonyeza chikondi ndikuyesetsa kupereka ndi kulandira chikondi "molondola" kuti tipewe kudzipatula ndi mavuto.
Tengani udindo wachimwemwe chanu
Chimwemwe ndicho chotulukapo osati cholinga chaukwati. Gawo lovuta ndikuti timatanganidwa ndi kufunafuna chisangalalo ndipo timadziimba mlandu pakupanga chisankho cholakwika chokwatirana ndi mnzathu poyamba. Kapenanso timamuneneza mnzathu kuti sali momwe timafunira.
Ngati sitiri okondwa timapanga izi kukhala zolakwika za wina. Nthawi zambiri sitimayang'ana kumbuyo ndikuyembekezera zomwe tinali nazo zokhudzana ndi banja ndi mnzathu zomwe zimatipangitsa kukhala okwatirana komanso omvetsa chisoni.
Tiyenera kubwerera pang'ono ndikuwona chinthu china chotsatira chomwe tingachite kuti tithetse kukhumudwitsidwa kwathu ndikuphunzira pazolakwitsa zathu kuti titeteze ubale wathu womwe ukulimbanawo.