Zamkati
Tsiku la Valentine layandikira, ndiye ndi nthawi yanji yabwino yoganizira zakukonza ubale wanu. Monga katswiri wama psychology wazaka zopitilira makumi awiri, ndili ndi mwayi wogwira ntchito limodzi ndi anthu komanso mabanja polimbitsa ubale wawo ndikutukula moyo wawo wapamtima. N'zosadabwitsa kuti anthu nthawi zambiri amapita kuchipatala akufuna upangiri. Mafunso ngati awa omwe atchulidwa pansipa amalankhulidwa kawirikawiri kuofesi yanga yothandizira. Amawonekeranso ndikamacheza ndi wina kunja, kuofesi ndikupeza ntchito yanga:
“Banja langa lili pamavuto - nditani?”
"Ubale wanga sukhalitsa - ndingaswe bwanji izi?"
“Kodi chinsinsi chopangitsa kuti chikondi chikhale chosatha ndi chiti?”
"Mkazi wanga amakhala nane nthawi zonse, nanga ndingamuyankhe bwanji?"
Ine ndikhoza kupitirira koma inu mumapeza chithunzi. Ndimasangalala ndimavuto omwe amafunsidwa pano ndipo ndimasangalalanso atolankhani akafunsidwa mafunso okhudza maubale, kulumikizana ndi chikondi:
"Zizindikiro zakuti chibwenzi chimakhala ndi zomwe zimafunikira kuti mupite patali ndi ziti?"
"Kodi amuna okwatira amadandaula chiyani makamaka pankhani yamankhwala?"
“Ndi zolakwitsa ziti zazikulu zomwe anthu apabanja amapanga?”
Mafunso onga amenewa amandikakamiza kuti ndiganizire mozama za ntchito yanga ndipo zimandipangitsa kuti ndizitsatira malingaliro omwe amandipatsa chithandizo. Nanga, ndiupangiri uti waupangiri waubwenzi womwe othandizira angakupatseni? Yankho lake limadalira pa sukulu yophunzitsira yomwe wophunzitsayo amaphunzitsidwa. Popeza ndaphunzitsidwa ntchito zamankhwala, ndikukhulupirira kuti upangiri wofunikira kwambiri womwe ndingapereke ndikugwiritsa ntchito mawu oti "Ine"!
Osati kwa mwamuna wanu: “WAKUWA ozizira kwambiri ndipo sunandikumbatire!” M'malo mwake, nenani kuti: “Ndimatha kukumbatirana.” Ngati mukufuna kupitilirabe moona ndikuthana ndi mavuto am'banja okhudzana ndi momwe mumakhudzidwira, fufuzani pang'ono pazomwe zimayambitsa kusakhutira kwanu. Ngati mumadziwa bwino malangizowa, mwina mutha kunena izi:
“Ngati ndimanena zowona mtima, ndiyenera kuvomereza kuti ndine munthu amene ndimalakalaka kwambiri kuthupi. Ndipo ndiyeneranso kuvomereza kuti ngakhale tinkakhala pachibwenzi, ndidazindikira kuti ndikulakalaka pamlingo wopitilira gawo lanu lachilengedwe. Ndinali wosazindikira kulingalira kuti mavuto awa adzatha kudzera muukwati komanso kupita kwa nthawi, ndipo ndikulimbana nawo tsopano kuposa kale. Ndikufuna kudziwa momwe ndingakwaniritsire zosowa zanga komanso kulemekeza momwe mumakhalira. ”
Mawu oti "Ine" atha kulumikizana chilichonse chomwe mawu oti "inu" angayankhule, koma mwanjira yabwino yomwe imapangitsa kuti anthu asamadziteteze komanso kuti amveke. Mmodzi mwa makasitomala anga othandizira ma psychology adalongosola zotsatira zamphamvu zaulangizi uwu:
"'Ine' ndi mphamvu yanga yatsopano yamatsenga. Ndidauza mwana wanga wamkazi kuti sindingakwanitse kugula foni yomwe amafunayo m'malo mongamuphunzitsa za udindo wazachuma. Amalemekeza yankho lonseli. Kenako, ndimapita kukadya ndi bwenzi langa ndipo amuna awiri adapempha kuti adziphatikize. M'malo mowauza kuti ayambe ulendo, ndinati 'zikomo chifukwa cha zomwe mwapereka, ine ndi mnzanga sitinawonane kwakanthawi ndipo tikufunikiradi nthawi yoti tigwirizane.' Zinali ngati chithumwa. ”
Chifukwa chiyani mawu oti "Ine" ndi othandiza kwambiri?
Kuchokera pamalingaliro amalingaliro, kufunitsitsa kuyankhula zawekha kumawonetsera kufunitsitsa kukhala ndi gawo lanu lachiyanjano. Mwanjira ina, ngakhale mutakhala kuti mukunena zowona kuti wokondedwa wanu sali wokondana monga momwe mungafunire, ndibwino kuti mukhale nawo ndikuwonetsa kulakalaka kwanu chikondi m'malo mongoyang'ana zolakwa zomwe amuna anu amazindikira.
Malingaliro amachitidwe amatsimikizira kukula kwamalingaliro ndi kukhwima kwa munthuyo. Kutha kulinganiza kupatukana ndi kukhala limodzi ndichofunikira komanso chofunikira pakukula kwamalingaliro. Malinga ndi malingaliro amachitidwe, cholinga choyambirira chamaganizidwe okhudzana ndiubwenzi ndikukulitsa kuthekera kocheza ndi ena nthawi imodzimodzi ndikudziwona kuti ndinu osiyana. Kufunitsitsa kutembenuza mawu oti "inu" kukhala mawu akuti "Ine" ndiye njira yolumikizirana pakati pamachitidwe. Ndikukulonjezani kuti chiganizo chilichonse m'mawu anu chingasinthidwe motere ndipo chithandizira ubale wanu - wachikondi ndi zina. Kudzikakamiza kuti mulole kulankhulana kulikonse kovuta kutengera mawu oti "inu" polumikizirana potengera mawu oti "I" ndiye mphatso yabwino kwambiri ya Valentine yomwe mungapereke !!!