Zamkati
- Si munthu m'modzi yemwe amabweretsa mavuto m'banja
- Ndikofunika kuzindikira zomwe INU mumachita kuti muyambitse mikangano
- Mukuchita chiyani kuti muthandizire pamaubwenzi abwenzi anu?
- Zimatengera kuwunika mozama kuti mumvetsetse zomwe zimakukwiyitsani kwambiri
Pazithandizo zamabanja, ndimafunsa makasitomala kuti asunthe pakati ndi pakati pakusintha okondedwa wawo, ndikufuna kusintha okha. Ndikosavuta komanso kwachilengedwe kuwona zonse zomwe mnzanu akusowa ndikuwona ngati mavuto omwe ali pachibwenzi ndi omwe ali. Ngati atangosiya kunditsekera, Ndingakhale wokondwa, wina atero, kapena Ndikungofunika kuti asiye kusiya kufuula ndipo tidzakhala bwino.
Zachidziwikire kuti ndibwino kuzindikira ndikupempha zomwe mukufuna. Koma ndi mbali imodzi yokha ya equation - ndipo siyiyinso yothandiza. Chofunikira kwambiri ndikudziyang'ana nokha kuti muwone zomwe mungakonze. Ngati mungasinthe mwina:
- Zolakwa zomwe mumabweretsa muubwenzi kapena
- Zomwe mumachita pazokhumudwitsa za anzanu, ndipamene mumakhala ndi njira yakukula kwenikweni, komanso mwayi wokhala osangalala mu mgwirizano wanu.
Si munthu m'modzi yemwe amabweretsa mavuto m'banja
Ndicho choonadi. (Chabwino, chabwino, nthawi zina pamakhala mnzanu m'modzi wowopsa, koma dzina lake limangokhala la omwe amakuzunzani.) Vutoli nthawi zambiri limakhala lamphamvu pakati pa anthu awiri, zomwe katswiri wina wotchedwa Susan Johnson amachitcha "gule" m'mabuku ake abwino. Mawu omwewo amakumbutsa chithunzi cha anthu awiri akuyenda uku ndi uku, kutsogolera ndikutsatira, kulimbikitsa ndi kuthandizana. Palibe munthu mu pas deux.
Zikumveka ngati zosamveka — ngati nditasintha, ndimamukonda kwambiri. Komanso ndi gwero la mphamvu. Kukhala pansi movutikira kuti "ukonze" winawake sikugwira ntchito. Zimakhumudwitsa, nthawi zambiri zimakupangitsani kumva kuti simukumvedwa kapena kumvedwa, ndikupangitsa mnzanu kumva kuti akutsutsidwa. Ngati m'malo mwake, mumayika mphamvu kuti mumvetsetse chifukwa chomwe simukonda zomwe simumakonda za iye, ndipo zomwe mumachita zomwe zimakulitsa mphamvu, muli ndi mwayi waukulu wopanga kusiyana.
Tiyeni tiwone njira zonse ziwiri za njirayi
Ndikofunika kuzindikira zomwe INU mumachita kuti muyambitse mikangano
Nthawi zina bwenzi limodzi limawoneka kuti ndi lolakwa. Mwina amamunamiza, kapena amakwiya. Ngakhale pazochitikazo, mwina makamaka munthawiyo, ndimayang'ananso kwa mnzakeyo, yemwe nthawi zambiri samangokhala chabe. Kukhalitsa kumangokhala pansi pa radar chifukwa kumakhala bata ndi bata, koma sizitanthauza kuti sizamphamvu komanso zowononga. Njira zina zongokhala osachita izi ndikuphatikiza kutseka ndi kukana kuchita chibwenzi, kukana kuyanjana, kutseka mnzanu mwamalingaliro, kuphedwa chifukwa chofera kapena kudalira kwambiri ena omwe si chibwenzi chawo. Chilichonse mwa zinthu zopandukachi chimakankhira mnzakeyo kuchitapo kanthu mokwiya, mokwiya, kapena kutseka poyankha.
Mukuchita chiyani kuti muthandizire pamaubwenzi abwenzi anu?
M'malingaliro mwanga, nthawi zambiri zimakhudzana ndi zomwe mudaphunzira muubwana, mwina za momwe maukwati amagwirira ntchito kapena momwe "muyenera" kuyankhulirana ndi ena (poyesa kukhala angwiro, posangalatsa ena zomwe zingakuvulazeni, kupezerera anzawo, ndi zina zambiri. ). Pothandizira payekha kapena maanja, mutha kuwona momwe zakale zimakhudzira zomwe muli nazo ndikupereka izi ngati mphatso kuubwenzi wanu wapano, komanso chisangalalo chanu.
Gawo lachiwiri lagona pakumvetsetsa momwe zimakhudzira njira yolumikizirana ndi mnzanu, komanso momwe mungasinthire momwe mungayankhire. Nthawi zina kungopeza "nthawi yopuma" ndikukhala odekha musanakambirane zinthu kumatha kusintha kwambiri, pochepetsa sewero. A John Gottman aphunzira mozama momwe dongosolo lathu lamanjenje limakhalira nthawi yomweyo tikamenyedwa kapena kukwiya, komanso momwe izi zimapangitsira mnzake wokwiya kuchita mantha. Tikangopenga, mtima wathu umathamanga, magazi amathamangira kutali ndi ubongo, ndipo sitilinso pachibwenzi komanso kumvetsera. Ndi bwino kuti nthawi imeneyo muchokepo kaye musanakhazikitsenso zokambiranazo.
Zimatengera kuwunika mozama kuti mumvetsetse zomwe zimakukwiyitsani kwambiri
Mwina atayamba kunyezimira, zimakukumbutsani zomwe amayi anu amafuna kuti musamalire. Kapenanso akawononga ndalama zambiri usiku zimakupangitsani kumva kuti zosowa zanu ndi zomwe mumakonda sizikhala kanthu. Mutazindikira zomwe mukuyankha, mutha kuchitapo kanthu kuti muzindikire kuti mwina mukuchita mopambanitsa, kapena kuyiwala kufunsa zomwe mukufuna - nthawi zambiri ulemu, kapena chikondi. Kenako mutha kuyimitsa magwiridwe ake ndikubwezeretsanso zokambirana kukhala zopindulitsa.
Ngakhale kudziwa zomwe mukufuna kuchokera kwa mnzanu ndikofunikira, kudziyang'ana nokha monga wopanga makina osinthira ubale wanu kudzakupangitsani kukhala achimwemwe komanso okhutira mtsogolo. Kaya muli nokha kapena mothandizidwa ndi othandizira, kuyang'ana mkati ndi njira yofunika kwambiri kuti mukhale ndi mphamvu.