Chifukwa Chomwe Kusamalira Banja Lanu Ndikofunikira Monga Kufunafuna Kukwaniritsidwa Kwina

Mlembi: John Stephens
Tsiku La Chilengedwe: 27 Jayuwale 2021
Sinthani Tsiku: 1 Kulayi 2024
Anonim
Chifukwa Chomwe Kusamalira Banja Lanu Ndikofunikira Monga Kufunafuna Kukwaniritsidwa Kwina - Maphunziro
Chifukwa Chomwe Kusamalira Banja Lanu Ndikofunikira Monga Kufunafuna Kukwaniritsidwa Kwina - Maphunziro

Zamkati

Ndakhala zaka zingapo zapitazi ndikuyesera kuthana ndi vuto langa la kupuma ndi zinthu zina zokhudzana nazo. Ndinkafuna kukhala bwino. Ndinafunikanso kukhala bwinoko. Panali zifukwa zingapo zomwe zimandiyendetsa, koma zifukwa zazikulu zinali mkazi wanga ndi ana. Nditakwanitsa kuyendetsa bwino, ndidazindikira kuti zidandiyimitsa ndikutsata. Ndinaiwala kena kake, ukwati wanga. Sizinali zomwe ndimayesera kuchita. M'malo mwake, chifukwa chachikulu chomwe ndinayikira kusamalira matenda anga osokonezeka bongo, nkhawa ndi PTSD chinali chifukwa cha zovuta zomwe anali nazo paubwenzi wapakati pa ine ndi mkazi wanga. kunja.

Kumveka M'chipatala

Kusakhazikika kumeneku kunandiwonetsa kuti ndiyenera kusintha moyo wanga. Kukhazikika kwanga komaliza kuchipatala, zaka zitatu zapitazo, kudakhala ngati poyambira. Ndidakhala pafupifupi nthawi yanga yonse pamenepo ndikulankhula ndi anthu ena ndikusonkhanitsa nkhani zawo. Onse anali osiyana, koma onse anandiuza chimodzimodzi. Sindinkachita chilichonse poyesa kuthetsa mavuto anga. Ndinali kuchita zinthu zonse zolondola. Ndinali kumwa mankhwala, ndinali kupita kuchipatala, ndipo ndinkafuna kuchira. Vuto linali loti ndimasiya zinthu zonsezo kwa a dokotala pomwe ndimachoka osapita nazo kunyumba.


M'malo mwake, ndinabweretsa mavuto anga onse kwa mkazi wanga.

Mnthawi yanga yachisoni, ndimadzipeza ndikutuluka misozi mobwerezabwereza. Maganizo ofuna kudzipha amkadutsa m'mutu mwanga ndikundisiya ndili ndi mantha kuti ndiyesenso. Ndinapempha mkazi wanga kuti andilimbikitse koma ndinapeza kuti sangandipatse zokwanira. Ndidamukankha, ndikukoka, ndikumupempha kuti andipatseko zina. Ndinkafunika kuti andipatse chilichonse chomwe anali nacho poganiza kuti chidzadzaza dzenje mkati mwanga ndikutsuka malingaliro ofuna kudzipha. Sakanatha kundipatsa zambiri kuposa momwe anali kale. Sizingakhale zokwanira ngati akanatha kutero. M'malo mongopeza njira zodzithandizira kutuluka mdzenjemo, ndimamupweteka. Kukakamira kwanga kutonthozedwa kudamupweteka chifukwa kumamuphunzitsa kuti chikondi chake sichokwanira. Nthawi zonse ndikamadzinenera kuti akufuna kudzipha zidamuwopsa ndikumukhumudwitsa chifukwa amadzimva kuti alibe mphamvu komanso nkhawa. Ndinagwiritsanso ntchito kudziimba mlandu ndikamafuna kudzipha ngati zopempha zondilimbikitsa. M'madera anga okondana, sindinathe kuzindikira kuti adalipo. Ndinkangoganizira kwambiri zomwe ndimafuna komanso zomwe ndimamva kuti ndimafunikira panthawiyo. Ndidatsata zokhumba zilizonse ndikuwononga chilichonse m'moyo wanga. Ndinawamvera chisoni, ndipo ndinanyalanyaza zopempha za ana anga kuti ndikakhale nawo. Anayamba kutseka. Sikuti anali atamaliza ukwati wathu. Anatseka chifukwa analibe chilichonse choti apereke. Ankangofuna kuti zinthu zizikhala bwino. Ankafuna kuti zoopsa zithe. Sanafune kuti akhale yekhayo woyang'anira banja


Ndapeza lingaliro latsopano

Nditachoka kuchipatala, ndidatsutsa chithandizo changa ndikulimba mtima kwambiri. Ndidatenga njira zonse zothana nazo ndikuyesa mobwerezabwereza m'moyo wanga. Ndidayesa iwo mobwerezabwereza ndikuwasintha momwe ndimafunira. Zinathandiza, koma sizinali zokwanira. Ndinkawakhumudwitsabe ndipo sindinathe kudziwa momwe ndingachitire bwino. Ndidaziwona ngati zotsatira zachindunji za magawo anga. Imeneyo inali nthawi yomwe ndimadzimva kuti sindingathe kuyendetsa bwino ndipo ndimawoneka kuti ndimamupweteka kwambiri. Ndinayamba kuwaopa chifukwa cha zomwe amabweretsa. Anabweretsa chipwirikiti chomwe chinali kuwononga moyo wanga. Sindingathe kusunga kusintha kwanga moyenera. Sindingangopanga lingaliro limodzi ndikukhala bwino. Ndinkaonabe kuti sindingathe kuchita chilichonse.

Ayenera kuti anali iyeyo

Sindinawone izi panthawiyo. M'malo mwake, ndinayamba kukhulupirira kuti vuto linali ubale wathu. Ndinkaganiza kuti sitinali athanzi mokwanira kuti ndizilola kukhala wathanzi. Sitinali kuyendetsa bwino ukwati wathu. Chifukwa chake ndidamupempha kuti ndipite naye kokalangizidwa zaukwati. Ndinkayembekeza kuti zithandizira. Anagwa, ndipo tinapita. Lingaliro linali kuti ligwire ntchito pa ife, koma chidwi changa chinali pazomwe samandichitira. Sanandipsompsone nthawi zonse momwe ndimafunira. Mawu oti "Ndimakukondani" sanabwere kawirikawiri. Kukumbatira kwake sikunali kokwanira mokwanira. Sanandichirikize popeza amafunika kuti andichirikize.


Sindinawone momwe mawu anga amamupwetekera. Wothandizirayo adayesetsa kukhazikitsa malingaliro anga ndi zochita zanga momwe amaonera, koma sindinathe kuziwona. Zomwe ndidaziwona zinali malingaliro anga ndipo ndidaloleza kunyengerera.

Ndinawona kunyengerera ngati chitsimikiziro chakuti sanali kuchita zokwanira. Amatha kuchita zambiri kuti andithandize. Ankawoneka kuti akukoka patali patapita nthawi. Ndinali ndi mphindi ina yowonekera bwino.

Nthawi yopita mkati.

Sindinadziwe choti ndichite kupatula kuti ndisiye magawo anga. Sanakhale pafupipafupi ndimankhwala anga, komabe zimachitikabe. Ndinaganiza kuti chinsinsi chokhala ndi moyo wachimwemwe chinali kuwapewa kotheratu, choncho ndinabwerera. Ndinadzifufuza ndekha kuti ndidziwe zomwe ndingachite. Sindinapeze yankho lowaletsa, koma ndinapanga lingaliro. Kwa miyezi yambiri, ndinkangoyang'ana zochita zanga zonse, ndinayang'ana mkati, ndikuyang'ana momwe ndikumvera. Ndinafunika kudziwa momwe ndimakhalira. Ndidavula zidutswa zilizonse ndikamayankhula.

Ndidaphunzira maziko anga, ndidamanga wolamulira wamaganizidwe ndipo ndidamanga pomakonza dziko lonse lapansi. Ndinkafunika kundiwona ndipo china chilichonse chinali chosokoneza chabe. Sindinkawona zosowa ndi zofuna za mkazi wanga ndi ana anga. Ndinali wotanganidwa kwambiri. Kusamalira ukwati wanga ndi ana sizinali zofunika zanga.

Khama langa linapindula. Ndinali ndi wolamulira wanga ndipo ndimatha kuyigwiritsa ntchito ndikuwona zigawo masiku angapo pasadakhale. Nditha kuyimbira foni dokotala wanga ndikufunsani zakusintha kwa mankhwala kutatsala masiku ochepa, ndikudzisiya ndekha ndi masiku ochepa chabe a mankhwalawa mankhwalawo asanayambe ndikuwakankhira kutali.

Ndazipeza!

Ndinasangalala kwambiri ndi zomwe ndinapeza. Ndidasangalalanso. Koma sindinaganizire momwe ndingathetsere mkangano m'banja mwanga.

Bwenzi nditatembenukira kwa mkazi wanga ndi ana anga ndikukhala ndi moyo mokwanira nawo, koma ndinali otanganidwa kwambiri ndikukondwerera kupambana kwanga. Ngakhale ndimakhala wathanzi ndinalibe nthawi yoyang'anira banja kapena banja langa. Mkazi wanga ndi ine tinapitanso kukalandira upangiri, chifukwa nthawi ino ndimadziwa kuti pali china chake cholakwika chifukwa ndimayendetsedwa, ndinali bwino. Anangokhala chete. Sindinamvetse misozi m'maso mwake. Ndimaganiza kuti zikutanthauza kuti sindinali kuchita bwino mokwanira. Chifukwa chake ndidatembenukiranso mkatimo. Ndidafunafuna kudziwa kuti ndine ndani komanso momwe ndingasamalire magawowa ndi luso kuwonjezera pa mankhwala anga. Kuyang'anitsitsa kwanga kunakakamizidwa kulowa mkati. Kwa miyezi yambiri ndinadzifufuza. Ndinayang'ana ndikuyang'ana, kusanthula ndikupukusa. Kulowetsedwa ndikuvomerezedwa. Zinkawoneka zopanda pake ngakhale. Nditha kudziwa kuti ndikusowa china chake.

Ndinayang'ana panja panthawiyo, ndipo ndinawona moyo womwe ndidalenga. Ndidakhala ndi moyo wachimwemwe womwe ndimakana molimba kuwona. Ndinali ndi mkazi wachikondi. Ana omwe amandikonda komanso kundipembedza. Banja lomwe silinkafuna china koma nthawi yocheza ndi ine. Zinthu zambiri zandizungulira zomwe zimabweretsa chisangalalo, koma ndidadzikakamiza kuti ndizikhala mkati mwamalingaliro anga. Winawake adandipatsa buku panthawiyo. Zinali pakuwongolera ukwati wanu komanso maubale. Sindinkafuna, koma ndinawerenga.

Sindikutsimikiza kuti ndidachitapo manyazi kwambiri.

Ndinali wolondola pamene ndimaganiza kuti timafunikira upangiri waukwati. Ndinali wolondola pamene ndinkaona kuti zambiri zinali zolakwika m'moyo wanga. Matenda anga, mavuto anga anali vuto lomwe amafunikira kuthana nawo koma adandichititsa khungu kuti vuto lomwe linali kunja kwanga linali. Sindinawone chinthu chofunikira kwambiri chomwe ndikadakhala ndikuchita. Kusamalira banja langa.

Ndiyenera kuti ndimakhala moyo wanga.

Ndikadakhala kuti ndikuthamangitsa ana anga pansi pa holo ndikuwatenga ndikukumbatira, m'malo moyesera kuti ndizidziyesa ndekha ndikuthamangitsa njira zanga zamaganizidwe. Ndikadakhala kuti ndimacheza ndi mkazi wanga za zomwe zikuchitika masiku ano, m'malo mongoyankha mafunso osayankhidwa m'malingaliro mwanga. Ndinali otanganidwa kwambiri kufunafuna moyo wamkati mwakuti ndinaiwala moyo womwe ndinali nawo mwa iwo. Ndinachita manyazi kwambiri ndi zomwe ndidachita ndipo ndidasiya zomwe ndidachita. Ndinayamba kusewera ndi ana anga popempha chilichonse. Ndidagawana nawo kuseka kwawo ndikuwasunga akafuna kukhudzidwa nawo. Ndinkasinthanitsa "Ndimakukondani" ndikudziyika ndekha m'kukumbatirana kulikonse. Ndinkafuna kuwaphwanya iwo, koma mwa njira yabwino. Chimwemwe chawo pakuphatikizidwa chidabweretsa chimwemwe kwa inenso.

Ndinam'fulatira.

Nanga za mkazi wanga? Sitingathe kulankhulana popanda kutsutsana. Sanasangalale ndikamamuuza kuti "Ndimakukondani." Adakana kukumbatirana kulikonse ndikupumira kwinaku akupsopsona.Ndinkaopa kwambiri kuti ndawononga ubale wofunika kwambiri womwe sindinakhalepo nawo. Nditamaliza kuphunzira bukuli, ndidawona zoyipa zanga. Ndinali nditasiya kumuyika patsogolo. Nthawi zina sanali pamndandanda. Ndinali nditasiya kumutsata. Ndimangokhala ndi iye. Sindimamumvera. Ndinakulungidwa mu zomwe ndimafuna kumva. Bukulo lidandionetsa, tsamba ndi tsamba, njira zonse zomwe ndimakanika pachibwenzi changa. Ndinadabwa kuti sanandisiye kale. Funso "Ndachita chiyani?" kudutsa m'maganizo mwanga mobwerezabwereza. Pofuna kupeza zosoŵa zanga, ndinali nditavulaza anthu ambiri ndipo pafupifupi ndinataya zonse zomwe zinali zofunika kwa ine. Ndinatsatira malangizo omwe anali m'bukuli, momwe ndingathere, ndikuyembekeza pang'ono. Ndinayesa kuyendetsa banja langa.

Ndinakumbukira zowinda zanga.

Ndinayamba kumuchita momwe amayenera kuchitidwira nthawi yonseyi. Ndinabwerezanso zomwe ndinanena kuti ndichotse poizoni. Ndinachita zinthu zapakhomo zomwe ndakhala ndikuzinyalanyaza. Ndidakhala ndi nthawi yomumvera, komanso kukhala naye. Ndidamupukuta mapazi atatopa. Ndinamubweretsera mphatso ndi maluwa kuti ndimuwonetse chikondi changa. Ndinachita zomwe ndikanatha kupereka zoposa zomwe ndinalandira. Ndinayambanso kumuchita ngati mkazi wanga.

Poyamba, machitidwe ake anali ozizira. Tidadutsapo kale, pomwe ndimafuna china kuchokera kwa iye ndimakonda kuchita motere. Iye anali kuyembekezera kuti zofuna ziyambe. Zinandipangitsa kutaya chiyembekezo, koma ndinapitilizabe kuyesa kumuwonetsa kuti chinali china chowonjezera. Ndinapitirizabe kuyendetsa banja langa ndipo ndinasiya kuziika kumbuyo.

Pamene milungu inkadutsa, zinthu zinayamba kusintha. Poizoni m'mayankho ake adatha. Kukana kwake kuti "Ndimakukondani" kunachoka. Kukumbatirana kwake kunkawoneka kodzaza ndipo kumpsompsona kunaperekedwa mwaulere. Sanali angwiro komabe, koma zinthu zinali kusintha.

Zinthu zonse zomwe ndimadandaula ndikumunyoza chifukwa cha upangiri wabanja zidayamba kugwa. Ndinazindikira kuti sizinali vuto lake. Anali njira yake yodzitetezera kwa ine. Zinali zipsera zomwe zidayamba chifukwa chakuzunzidwa kwanga ndikunyalanyazidwa. Ubwenzi wathu sunakhalepo vuto. Zinali zochita zanga, maiko anga, kudzipereka kwanga, komanso momwe ndimaonera.

Ndine amene ndimayenera kusintha.

Osati iye. Ndinkamvetsera ana anga. Ndinkapanga nthawi yocheza nawo. Ndinawachitira mwachikondi komanso mwaulemu. Ndinagwira ntchito kuti ndiwapatse zambiri. Ndinasiya kuyembekezera zinthu ndipo ndinayamba kumwetulira. Ndinkakhala mwachikondi, osati mwamantha. Kodi mukudziwa zomwe ndapeza pamene ndimachita izi? Zidutswa zomaliza za ine. Ndidapeza kuti mawonekedwe enieni amkati mwanga adabwera chifukwa chothandizana ndi omwe ndimakonda.

Nditayang'ana momwe ndimakondera mkazi wanga ndi ana anga, ndidadziwona kuti ndine ndani komanso sindine. Ndinawona zolephera zanga ndipo ndinawona kupambana kwanga. Ndakhala ndikufuna machiritso m'malo olakwika. Ndinali woyenera kutaya nthawi mkati, koma osati kwambiri. Ndidanyalanyaza kuyang'anira banja langa komanso banja langa, ndipo ndili ndi chidaliro kuti ndatsala pang'ono kulipira zoyipa chifukwa chonyalanyaza. Sindine wangwiro, mkazi wanga wakhala pakama yekha ndikulemba izi, koma sindiyenera kutero. Sindiyenera kuchita bwino tsiku lililonse, koma ndikufunika kudzipereka kuti ndichite bwino nthawi zonse momwe ndingathere.

Phunzirani pa zolakwa.

Ndinaphunzira kuti ndikadayenera kukulitsa chidwi changa kunja kwa ine ndekha. Zinali bwino kuwongolera ndikuyendetsa kutero, komabe zinali zofunikira kukumbukira kufunikira kwa zomwe zili m'moyo wanga. Ndidapeza kupita patsogolo kodzikongoletsa munthawi yanga ndi iwo kuposa momwe ndidapangira ndekha. Ndinaphunzira kufalitsa chikondi changa ndikukhala munthawi yochepa ndi omwe ndimawakonda. Chikondi chawo chimakhala chofunikira kwambiri kupitilira mphindi chikwi chimodzi. Ndidawona kulimbikitsidwa ndikudzipereka m'banja pomwe malingaliro anga adachoka pakuziganizira ndekha ndikupita patsogolo pachibwenzi changa.

Yakwana nthawi yoyamika zomwe amapanga mwa ine ndikuwonjezera phindu lawo kudzera m'mawu anga ndi zochita zanga. Afunikira chikondi changa kuposa ine.

Kutenga kotsiriza

Momwe mungasamalire banja lanu mukakumana ndi zomwe ndimakumana nazo? Osayang'ana malangizo amomwe mungathetsere mavuto m'banja, m'malo mwake yang'anani zinthu zomwe mwina mukuchita molakwika. Chimwemwe chanu siudindo wa mnzanu. Ngati mukufuna kudziwa kuti mumatha bwanji kukhala ndi banja losasangalala ndikukula bwino, yang'anani mkati ndikuganiza zomwe mukuthandizira paubwenzowu komanso momwe mungapangire zinthu kukhala bwino. Mumatenga gawo loyamba ndikufufuza njira zopezera banja lanu zatsopano.

Ngakhale mukumva pakadali pano kuti mnzanu sakuchita zonse zomwe akuyenera kuchita kuti azisangalala ndi chibwenzi chanu, ndikukhulupirira mwamphamvu kuti pali zambiri zomwe angachite kuti athetse vuto lanu kuti ayambe kudziona nokha. Kudziwa 'mumatani banja losavuta?' muyenera kuyang'ana mkati osangoyang'ana chisangalalo chanu koma omwe mumawakonda.