Zamkati
- Bwanji osayesetsa onse?
- Ubale Rut
- 1. Tengani ubale ngati munthu osati monga chinthu!
- 2. Muli bwanji?
- 3. Confucius akuti
- 4. Singin 'mvula
- 5. Zogulitsa zopanda malire
- 6. Mirror, Galasi pakhoma
- 7. Simoni akuti
- 8. Roma sanamangidwe tsiku limodzi
- 9. Gogoda paki
- 10. Kudabwa, kudabwa
M'zaka zingapo zapitazi, ndakumana ndi anthu ambiri, amuna ndi akazi omwe adanenapo "kusungulumwa" ndi maubale awo kapena moyipa kwambiri, ndi maukwati awo. Mwambo wofufuza, ndidafuna kudziwa zina mwazifukwa zakusungulumwa ndipo nazi zina mwazifukwa zomwe ndidapeza:
- Ndandanda zotanganidwa
- Zochitika zambiri komanso kulosera
- Kubwereza kotopetsa
- Kusadabwa kapena kusangalala ndi ubalewo
- Kuyesetsa kupezera banja chitetezo ndi chitetezo
- Kuzindikira kwakusowa kosangalatsa kunja kwaukwati ndi banja (kwa akazi)
- Malingaliro osowa zoyeserera pakupanga limodzi komanso mwamphamvu ngati banja kapena banja (la amuna)
Ubale ndi wovuta ndipo maukwati amakhalanso ovuta. Izi zili choncho chifukwa ndalamazi zakhala zikukwera kwambiri. Chifukwa chake, kuwonjezera pakuthana ndi mavuto nthawi zonse, kupirira komanso malingaliro oti "Ndili kuti ndipambane", ndizofunikira munthawi yovuta / yotopetsa. Malingana ngati mukudziwa kuti ubalewo ndi wabwino kwa inu, ndipo ndikufuna kutsindika kufunikira kwakusiyanaku, sungani ubalewo komanso chidwi chanu.
M'nkhani ya 2014 mu Huffington Post, wamwamuna wazaka 24 amadandaula mosadziwika kuti watopa kwambiri pachibwenzi chake ndi mkazi wake, kotero kuti akuganiza zothetsa banja. Kudandaula kwake kwakukulu: "sakonda chilichonse, koma ife". Akupitiliza kunena kuti ngakhale samadandaula kuti sagwira ntchito zakunyumba, ndipo ndiye amene amamusamalira, koma amakumbukirabe kuti "samakondanso kuchita zokonda". Mkati mwa ulusi womwewo, chochititsa chidwi, wolemba ndemanga pa ulusi, wamkazi amayankha kuti "atha kukhala kuti si iye ndipo mwina ndi inu". Anena izi atanena kuti amuna awo amasankha kupita kuphwando ndi anzawo mosasamala, motero akumva kuti akuyenera kukhala woyenera. Timati, mwina ndikuphatikiza. Zimatengera awiri kupita ku Tango monga akunenera.
Bwanji osayesetsa onse?
Ndipo ayi sikungonena za "kuzola" ndi zoseweretsa zakugonana ndi zochitika zina "zakunja," chifukwa pamapeto pake zimatha kubweretsanso kunyong'onyeka. Bwanji, m'malo mwake, timayamba kupewa zomwe tiyenera kuchita, ndikuchita zomwe timamva, kenako ndikuyamba kuchitira ubalewo ngati munthu osati chinthu.
Mabanja ambiri amaganiza kuti ubale wabwino ndiwokhazikika. Ndizosangalatsa, zachikondi, zosangalatsa, ndi zina zambiri. Zonse pazokha, kotero amaganiza kuti ngati chibwenzi chawo chitha, ndiye kuti ubale woipa. Sizowona.
Munali munthawi ya 6 ndi Gawo 15 la Sex and the City pomwe ndidayamba kupeza liwu loti "kuyenera". Nkhaniyi idafotokoza kuti monga akazi, tili pachiwopsezo chochita zomwe tiyenera kukhala. Mwachitsanzo, chiwonetsero chomwe chatchulidwa, akuyenera kukwatiwa asanakwanitse zaka 30, kukhala ndi ndalama zokhazikika komanso ntchito yapamwamba pofika zaka 30, ndi ana asanakwanitse zaka 35, ndi zina zotero Samantha anali atangokhala kukayezetsa kuchipatala ndipo zochitika zosangalatsa zidamugunda kumaso. Pambuyo pake, powona, Carrie adalemba m'ndandanda yake ndikulemba, "Chifukwa chiyani tikudzidalira?"
Ubale Rut
Apa ndiyesetsa kupita kumutu wa Relationship Rut ndi ena mwa malingalirowo komanso kutenga lingaliro lapadziko lonse lapansi chifukwa tivomerezane, 50% ya chilekano sichinthu chodzitamandira. Choyamba chimabwera chikondi, kenako ukwati, wasandulika woyamba kusudzulana kenako nkukhala bankrupt. Nchiyani chimapereka?
Ndikufuna kuyamba ndi chiyambi; kuti siubwenzi wonse wachimwemwe uyenera kutha muukwati.
Sikuti banja lililonse losangalala liyenera kukhala ndi ana, (imodzi mwazinthu zomwe ndimakonda kwambiri mu kanema wa Mkango ndiomwe mayi Nicole Kidman amatenga gawo la amayi omulera a Sheru akumuuza kuti kumutenga kunali chisankho ndipo sichinali chifukwa iye ndi mwamuna wake sakanakhoza kubala ana). Ndipo sikuti banja lililonse lokhalitsa limakhala banja lopambana chifukwa chokhazikika.
Mfundo ndiyakuti ife monga zamoyo tili ndi mbali zambiri kwa ife ndipo chimodzi mwazinthuzi ndikufunika kwathu kulumikizana ndikuchita nawo mgwirizano. Takhala ophunzitsidwa kuti tisamangokwatirana kenako nkusiyana ngati banja, koma kuti tisankhe wokwatirana ndikukhala moyo wathu ngati anzathu ndipo ngati tili ndi ana, kwezani ana athu limodzi nawo. Koma vuto ndikuti njirayi sinabwere ndi buku la eni ake.
Zikhalidwe zosiyanasiyana ndi anthu adziko lapansi, adakhalako, okondedwa ndipo mwina adakwatirana m'njira zawo ndipo ali ndi nkhani zoti anene.Nthanozi zalimbikitsa moyo wamasiku ano komanso monga okhala mzaka za zana la 21 padziko lapansi, tikukhala moyo wapamwamba kusankha zosankha zomwe zingatigwirire ntchito zomwe "tiyenera" m'malo mogweramo.
Ngakhale mmbuyomu m'masiku omwe kuponderezana kunkaponderezedwa monga mtambo wovuta kwa amayi, monga momwe alembera a PBS Khadija, mkazi woyamba wa Mneneri Muhhammad komanso munthu woyamba kutembenukira ku Chisilamu, anali mzimayi wabizinesi wodalirika komanso wochenjera. Anayamba kulemba Mneneri kuti amutsogolere apaulendo ake ogulitsa, ndipo ngakhale anali wamkulu zaka zambiri, adamupangira ukwati. Ngati akadatha kusankha momwe adakhalira moyo wake komanso ubale wake panthawiyo, ifenso titha kutero.
Nawa malingaliro anga apamwamba khumi kuti mupewe ubalewo:
1. Tengani ubale ngati munthu osati monga chinthu!
Ganizirani, konzekerani, chitani zomwe timawatcha. Ganizirani momwe zina zanu zazikulu zimakupangitsani kumva komanso momwe mumafunira kuti amve. Konzani masiku, kutuluka, malo olumikizirana, njira zopulumutsira iye yekha komanso nonsenu. Ndipo pamapeto pake, chitani gawo lanu pochita mapulani amenewo. Ndipo ngati muwona zolakwika momwe angachitire bwino, musazengereze. Kupatula apo, gawo lalikulu lakuthetsa kusamvana mu ubale uliwonse ndikuwoneratu ndikukonzekera zotsatira zabwino m'malo mopewa zokambirana.
2. Muli bwanji?
"Kaya ndi foni kapena pamaso, funsani mnzanuyo, ndi ziti zatsopano pamoyo wawo kamodzi patsiku ndipo mvetserani ndi cholinga."Dinani kuti Tweet
Izi zimakuthandizani kuti mukhalebe pachibwenzi, ndipo ndinu wokangalika m'malo mochita nawo chilichonse. Chifukwa amayi amalumikizana kwambiri, amuna ambiri amakhulupilira kuti ndi omwe amayang'anira chibwenzi ndipo amadikirira kuti akazi afotokozere zomwe akufuna. Ndipo izi sizosangalatsa komanso sizimakhutiritsa kwambiri mayiyo.
3. Confucius akuti
Monga gulu lazikhalidwe, aku America aku America nthawi zina amatchedwa "ochepa ochepa" Izi zimadalira kupambana kwawo (mu bizinesi ndi maphunziro), maubwenzi apabanja olimba (komanso kuchuluka kwa mabanja osudzulana), komanso kudalira kwambiri thandizo la anthu. Monga gulu, aku America aku America ali ndiukwati wochuluka kwambiri (65% motsutsana ndi 61% azungu) komanso otsika kwambiri osudzulana (4% poyerekeza ndi 10.5% azungu).
Palibe chikhalidwe changwiro chifukwa, monga tikudziwira, palibe munthu amene ali wangwiro. Koma, popeza kuzindikiridwa kumapangitsa kukhala ndi moyo pamakhalidwe, ndizofunikira kudziwa zina mwazikhalidwe zomwe zingathandize pakukhala ndi moyo wautali mu ubale waku Asia.
Malinga ndi www.healthymarriageinfo.org, kusiyana kotereku ndikuti anthu aku Asia samakhulupirira kuti chikondi muubwenzi chimayenera kumveka; mwanjira ina, amakhulupirira kuti m'malo mowonetserana chikondi, ubale wabwino umakhazikitsidwa pakudzipereka modzipereka, komanso kudzipereka komanso kudzipereka kwanthawi yayitali komanso kosasinthika.
4. Singin 'mvula
Mukudziwa kuti nyimbo imodzi kapena nyimbo zingapo, zomwe mukangomva nthawi yomweyo, zimabweretsa chisangalalo mumtima mwanu kapena kukumbukira nthawi zosangalatsa? Kodi mungatani ngati mutha kutsanzira kumverako ndikuchulukitsa ndi 10? Khalani ndi nthawi yopanga nyimbo zomwe mumakonda. Pangani mndandanda umodzi wa nyimbo zochedwa kuchepa ndikuwatcha "Nyimbo Zathu".
5. Zogulitsa zopanda malire
Chimodzi mwazodandaula zazikulu zomwe zimapezeka mu maubale chimayenda motere:
- “Sandimvera ine”
- “Amangokhalira kudandaula”
Mawuwa ndi chimodzi mwazifukwa zomwe kusungulumwa kumalowa. Ndipo kuwonjezera pakunyong'onyeka, kuthekera kokulirapo kwa malingaliro ena osakhala abwino monga kukwiya, kapena kukwiya. Freud bambo wa psychoanalysis amakhulupirira njira yotchedwa Free Association. Apa ndipomwe mumatuluka ndikutulutsa ndikulola malingaliro anu ndi malingaliro anu kuyenda momasuka ndikuwonetsedwa popanda kumva kuweruzidwa kapena kusokonezedwa. Pafupifupi foni ya aliyense imabwera ili ndi chojambulira mawu masiku ano. M'malo moimbira foni mnzanu, wachibale wanu kapena mnzanu pambuyo poti simunamuwone patapita nthawi yayitali, gwiritsani ntchito zojambulazo kuti mumve zomwe zili mumtima mwanu kutulutsa ndi kutulutsa zina. Ndipo pomwe chotulutsa chanu chimatulutsidwa, mudzawona kupumula, komwe kumakupatsani mwayi wochepa nkhawa, komanso kumasuka.
6. Mirror, Galasi pakhoma
Kutengera ndikudzimva kwathu, komanso zokumana nazo zam'mbuyomu ndi ntchito zina, timangokhalira kuchoka pagawo lakumverera kupita kumalo ozindikira. Mwanjira ina, nthawi zina timafuna kuti anzathu akhale achifundo ndikumangomvera, ndipo nthawi zina timafuna anzathu atithandizire kuthetsa mavuto. M'malo mongotuluka opanda cholinga, choyamba sankhani m'malingaliro mwanu kuti ndinu gawo liti musanabweretse mnzanuyo, potero mumapewa msampha wakumverera kuti simungamveke kapena kuganiza kuti wokondedwa wanu sangathe kukuthandizani.
7. Simoni akuti
Gawani komwe mutu wanu uli. Chiganizo chimodzi ndizofunika kwambiri. Ex. "Ndakhala ndi tsiku losangalatsa kwambiri ndipo ndikumva kukhala wamphamvu!" , "Ndakhala ndi tsiku lovuta kwambiri ndikudzimva wotopa!", "Ndakhala ndi vuto ndi mnzanga wakuntchito ndipo ndikwiya!", "" Mwana wathu wamkazi wakhala akungokhalira ola lomwelo ndipo ndikumva kutopa ". Etc. etc.
Njira yanzeru iyi imakwaniritsa zinthu ziwiri nthawi imodzi:
- Zimakupatsani kuvomereza malingaliro anu, ndipo
- Imadziwitsa mnzanu zomwe angayembekezere komanso zomwe mungayembekezere kwa iwo.
Khwerero iyi iyenera kuchitidwa mutatha kale # 3. Kenako, mumayamba ndi sentensi, funsani mzere wa nthawi wa 5. 10, kapena mphindi 15 za inu, kenako mumatha ndi chiganizo chimodzi chomwe chimafotokoza mwachidule momwe mumamvera / kuganiza monga tafotokozera mu # 4 ndikupereka izi kwa mnzanu .
Mwachitsanzo. Ndikumva kuti ndili pantchito ndikufunika thandizo lanu kuti muthe kuthana nalo. Kapena
Ndine wokwiya kwambiri ndi china chake chomwe chachitika lero, ndipo ndikugawana nanu izi kuti musaganize kuti ndi inuyo.
8. Roma sanamangidwe tsiku limodzi
Kukondana sikungokumbatirana komanso kupsompsona, maluwa ndi chokoleti. Ndizofala. Simuyenera kuchita kubisalira sabata lathunthu kapena mwezi wonse, chifukwa mukuyembekezera tchuthi, mwambowu, kapena kuyitanidwako. Khalani moyo wanu lero ndipo pangani zochitika za tsiku ndi tsiku limodzi. Pangani ndandanda yazinthu zatsiku ndi tsiku, malingaliro, malo, kapena zomwe mukudziwa zomwe mumakonda kupanga limodzi komanso kutengera ndandanda yanu, sankhani tsiku limodzi sabata kuti muzisinthana ndikuzichita limodzi.
9. Gogoda paki
Kwa masiku a sabata omwe mudakhala otanganidwa kwambiri, opanikizika komanso mwina okhumudwitsa tsiku logwirira ntchito, khalani ndi masewera olimbitsa thupi opanda bongo pomwe nonse mumatulutsa nthunzi kwinaku mukusangalala komanso mopusa. Inde, m'malo mwa chizolowezi "tiyeni tidye chakudya ndi ziweto patsogolo pa TV, nanga bwanji zina mwazinthu izi: kusewera masewera apakanema omwe mumakonda kuchokera mulaibulale yanu ya" Nyimbo Zathu "kuyambira # 2 pamwambapa, kuyenda mphindi 15 mutagwirana manja, kuwonera zokongola zomwe zakuzungulira osanenapo mawu amodzi, kusewera nyimbo zosangalatsa (kutengera mphamvu yanu) yophatikizidwa ndi kapu yabwino ya vinyo, chikho cha tiyi wotentha, kapena mkaka wofunda ndi uchi ndi ginger ndikuvina limodzi , etc.
10. Kudabwa, kudabwa
Mabanja ambiri, makamaka omwe ali ndi ana ang'onoang'ono amaganiza kuti ayenera kuchita chilichonse m'banja lawo asanapange zibwenzi. Cholakwika Chachikulu! Maloko, nyimbo ndi zochita ndi zomwe timanena! Kugonana zisanachitike chilichonse. Kusunga zabwino zomaliza nthawi zonse sindiwo njira yopita kwa anthu!
Kumbukirani zomwe zidachitika ku Pretty Woman, pomwe Richard Gere amabwerera ku hotelo ataweruka, ndipo a Julia Roberts kapena a Vivian momwe amamutchulira mufilimuyo amamupatsa moni ndi thupi lake lamaliseche, osavala china chilichonse, koma tayi yomwe adamugulira kale tsiku ndi Kenny G akusewera chapansipansi? Tsekani maso kwa mphindi imodzi ndikulingalira m'modzi wa inu pachitofu, ndipo winayo akuyenda pakhomo. Mumasinthana moni mwachangu ndikungoyang'ana pang'ono kenako ndikupita kukachita homuweki, kupeza chakudya patebulo, kenako kutsuka mbale ndikuyeretsa ndipo musanadziwe, ndi 8pm ndi nthawi yogona.
Pakadali pano, chilakolako chanu chasinthidwa ndi zipsera pa malaya anu kuyambira kuphika, mapazi otopa komanso kukondoweza chifukwa chotsatira zosowa za aliyense kupatula zanu komanso kugonana zikuwoneka ngati ntchito ina. Sinthani chosinthana ndikuyika zochitika zosangalatsa poyamba ndi zomwe muli nazo ndi chikondi chochuluka kukhitchini, mtendere ndi kupumula pakudya chamadzulo mozungulira ana, komanso kumwetulira.
Ndipo o inde, osabweretsa Tube m'chipinda chogona. Ndikubwereza musabweretse Tube m'chipinda chogona Izi zikuphatikiza, ma laputopu, ma Ipad, mafoni, ngakhale mabuku, inde ndanena ngakhale mabuku. Chipinda chanu chogona chiyenera kukhala malo anu opatulika ndi mphanga wobisalamo. Chokhacho chosangalatsa komanso chosangalatsa mmenemo muyenera kukhala nonse awiri.
“Musamachite ukwati wanu monga banja, koma ngati chinthu choti mulimepo.”Dinani kuti Tweet
Awo ndi malo a Confucianism motsutsana ndi malingaliro akumadzulo nawonso, omwe amakhulupirira kuti ukwati ndi chiyambi cha kukondana m'malo momangokhala chisangalalo cha chibwenzi.