Zamkati
Kampani ya wina,
awiri ndi gulu,
ndipo atatu achita phwando. ”
- Andy Warhol
Ubale nkhani. Ndipo amatenga ntchito.
Ndipo amafunika kukhala osangalala komanso kusewera kuti akhale opatsa thanzi, opindulitsa komanso odziyimira pawokha. Ndiwo kulakalaka kwathu kwakukulu ndi mantha athu oopsa kwambiri, malo athu opezera chakudya, chithandizo ndi chitetezo, komanso manyazi, nkhawa komanso manyazi.
Maubwenzi apamtima a anthu awiri amakhala osakhazikika. Mavuto akakhala pachiwopsezo, munthu wachitatu amafunsidwa kuti athetse nkhawa.
Guerin & Fogarty adalemba.
"Tikuwona izi, titha kuwona moyo osati njira zingapo zoti tisankhidwe, koma ngati njira yokhotakhota yamiyala itatu ndi miyala yomwe tiyenera kuyendamo."
Njira yolumikizirana yolumikizana ndi anthu atatu iyi, makona atatu osati utatu, imathandizira kuchepetsa nkhawa nthawi yomweyo zomwe zimatsimikizira kuti zovuta zoyanjana sizidzathetsedwa. Kupindula kwakanthawi kwakanthawi kwakanthawi kochepa. Choyipa chachikulu ndi chakuti, ma triangles nthawi zambiri amakulitsa kusokonezeka kwamalingaliro ndi:
- Kulimbikitsa kukula kwa zizindikiritso mwa munthu - mbali yolakwika ya kansalu kangokhala chizindikiro chazovuta zamabanja onse.
- Kusunga mikangano yamaubwenzi
- Kulepheretsa kapena kuletsa kuthana ndi zovuta kapena zotsutsana
- Kuletsa kusinthika kwa magwiridwe antchito a ubale pakapita nthawi
- Kupanga ndikupititsa patsogolo zochiritsira
- Kutaya mabanja pakusankha njira zothetsera mavuto
Ndikofunika kuganizira za ang'onoang'ono pakati pawo monga kukhala ndi ubale, ntchito komanso momwe amakhudzidwira.
Kapangidwe kamakona atatu ophatikizana amapangidwa ndi awiri mkati, omwe amaphatikizidwa komanso kutsekedwa mopitilira muyeso, ndipo wina kunja omwe ali kutali kwambiri ndimaganizo.
Ntchito ya kansalu kakang'ono ka ubale ndi pangani bata ndi:
1. Kuyang'ana china chake kunja kuti banja lithe kuthetsa mikangano yawo.
2. Izi zimathandiza kuthetsa kusamvana pakati pawo popanda kusintha kulikonse.
Maganizo amtundu wamtundu wamtundu wamtunduwu amakhala ndi mayendedwe amachitidwe azovuta zomwe mgwirizano umasintha ndikusintha pakapita nthawi.
Kupezeka kwa ma triangles pamavuto onse amgwirizano ndiimodzi mwazinthu zisanu ndi zitatu zofunika kulumikizana Chiphunzitso cha Bowen Family Systems (BFST).
"[Triangle] imawerengedwa kuti ndi chimangidwe kapena" mamolekyulu "azinthu zazikulu zamaganizidwe chifukwa kansalu kakang'ono ndi kachitidwe kakang'ono kwambiri ka ubale. Dongosolo la anthu awiri ndilosakhazikika chifukwa limalekerera kusamvana pang'ono musanaphatikizepo munthu wachitatu. Triangle imatha kukhala ndimavuto ambiri osakhudzana ndi munthu wina chifukwa mkangano ungasinthe mozungulira maubwenzi atatu. Ngati mavutowa ndi okwera kwambiri kuti patatu m'mbali mulibe, imafalikira mpaka pamakona atatu "olumikizana".
Tsopano bwanji ngati 'munthu wachitatu' uyu si munthu koma chinthu?
Magazini a Psychology Today a Julayi / Ogasiti aku 2016 akuwonetsa ngozi zowopsa za 'ménage à trois' za m'ma 2000, zochitika zathu zodziwika paliponse ndiukadaulo. Ndi nkhope yathu pafoni kapena piritsi lathu kapena wotchi yabwino kapena laputopu, tingakhale bwanji okondedwa kwa mnzathu?
Sherry Turkle adalemba mawu ake aposachedwa kwambiri pachikhalidwe chamakompyuta "Chifukwa Chiyani Timayembekezera Zambiri Kuchokera Kuukadaulo ndi Zochepa Kwambiri". Akuti ukadaulo umapanga "zolowa m'malo zomwe zimayika zenizeni". Kwa LOL, OMG ndi ena tsopano titha kuwonjezera IRL kutanthauza "Mu Moyo Weniweni" monga china chake chenicheni mosiyana ndi kulumikizana komanso kulumikizana pa intaneti kapena munthawi zopeka.
Tikamakambirana ndi anthu omwe mwina kulibe, ndipo pamene "timalankhula" ndi zala zathu zazikulu osati mawu athu, munthu yemwe ali patebulopo akuwona kumbuyo kwa iPhone yathu kapena atayang'ana pansi ndi zenera lawo, zingati kugawana koona ndi kukondana kwamaganizidwe kungakhalepo?
Ndimafotokoza nkhani kamodzi kokhudza chisangalalo changa chokhala ndi maola asanu ndi limodzi osasokonezedwa nkhope ndi wachibale wapafupi ndipo yankho linali "mukutanthauza pa iPhone yanu?" Mukuganiza kuti ndiyenera kuwonjezera IRL.
Chifukwa chake tembenuzirani kwa mnzanu m'malo mozembera. Ndipo kumbutsani aliyense, koposa zonse inu, kuti pazifukwa zina zachilendo komanso zachilendo, zamagetsi sizigwira ntchito m'chipinda chanu chogona.
Tonsefe timalimbana ndi kulinganiza kuyandikana kwamaganizidwe ndi mtunda. Chifukwa chake tonse titha kupindula ndi upangiri wa ubale ndi upangiri. Kotero “ngati tsiku lina lachilendo 'silikuwoneka bwino, ndani adzawaimbire?” Ndipo ngati mulibe Phukusi la Proton la bustin, 'lingalirani zokambirana ndi wophunzitsidwa bwino wa Bowen Family Systems Theory Coach and Relationship Consultant yemwe "saopa kapena ayi."
Zabwino zonse paulendo wanu wowonekera wamoyo wanu wonse.