Zamkati
- Chifukwa chiyani kutha kumakhala kovuta?
- Zomwe Zimayambitsa Kutha kwa Banja
- Kodi Kutha Kungayambitse Kukhumudwa?
- Zizindikiro Zokhumudwa Pambuyo Pakutha
- Magawo 7 Achisoni Atatha Kutha
- 1. Kufunafuna Mayankho
- 2. Kukana
- 3. Kukambirana
- 4. Kubwereranso
- 5. Mkwiyo
- 6. Kulandila Koyamba
- 7. Chiyembekezo Chosinthidwa
- Momwe Mungagonjetsere Kukhumudwa Mukatha Kusudzulana
- Khalani otanganidwa
- Yambani zolemba
- Fikirani
- Kumbukirani kudzisamalira
- Pezani nthawi yochita masewera olimbitsa thupi
- Nthawi Yoti Muthandizidwe Ndi akatswiri
- Njira 5 Zopewera Kukhumudwa Mukatha Kutha
- 1. Khalani Ogwirizana
- 2. Dzisamalire Nokha
- 3. Ganizirani za Mphamvu Zanu
- 4. Pezani Nthawi Yochita Olimbitsa Thupi
- 5. Zindikirani Maganizo Anu Koma Osakhazikika
- Kutenga: Mfundo Zazikulu Zokhudza Kusokonezeka Kwa Matenda
Kutha kwa chibwenzi kumatha kubweretsa nkhawa, kuphatikiza kutha kwa nkhawa. Si zachilendo kumva chisoni chibwenzi chitatha, makamaka ngati chibwenzicho chinali chachikulu komanso kutha sikunayembekezeredwe.
Chisoni chothetsa chibwenzi chimakhala chofewa ndipo chimapita pakapita nthawi, koma nthawi zina, chimatha kupita kuchipatala. Mulimonsemo, pali njira zamomwe mungathetsere kukhumudwa.
Chifukwa chiyani kutha kumakhala kovuta?
Monga akatswiri afotokozera, kutha kwa banja kumakhala kovuta chifukwa kumayambitsa kusintha kwakukulu m'moyo, monga mavuto azachuma kapena moyo watsopano. Ndikofunikanso kukumbukira kuti kutha kwa banja, mukumva chisoni kutayika kwa ubale wofunikira.
Ngakhale panali mavuto m'banjamo, kutha kwa banja kumakhalabe kutayika.
Kutsatira kutayika kwa chibwenzi, mutha kukhalanso osungulumwa. Zifukwa zina kutha ndi kovuta ndikuti mwina mumatha kudzidalira kapena kusintha zomwe muli.
Chibwenzi ndichinthu chofunikira kwambiri pakudziwika kwanu, ndipo kutaya izi kumatha kusintha momwe mumadzionera. Nthawi zina, kutha kwa chibwenzi kumatha kukupangitsani kumva kuti mulibe kanthu, ngati kuti simukudziwa kuti ndinu ndani.
Nthawi zina, kutha kwa banja kumatha kutanthauza kuti muyenera kukhala ndi ana a kholo limodzi ndi mnzanu wakale. Izi zitha kutanthauza kusiya nthawi ndi ana anu kuti mnzanu wakale azicheza nawo limodzi.
Muthanso kuvutika chifukwa cha kuchepa kwa anzanu ngati nonse awiri mukanakhala ndi anzanu omwe amakhala mbali ya wokondedwa wanu atatha. Mapeto ake, kutha kwa banja kumakhala kovuta chifukwa kumabweretsa kusintha kambiri nthawi imodzi.
Zomwe Zimayambitsa Kutha kwa Banja
Kukhumudwa pambuyo pa chibwenzi ndi chimodzi mwazovuta zomwe zimachitika chifukwa chothana ndi chibwenzi, ngakhale panali chifukwa chomveka chothetsera kutha kwa banja. Zina mwazomwe zimasokoneza banja zimaphatikizapo kusiyana kwa umunthu, kusakhala nthawi yokwanira limodzi, kapena kusasangalala ndi ubale wogonana.
Maanja atha kutha chifukwa mmodzi kapena onse anali osakhulupirika, kapena pakhoza kukhala mayanjano ambiri olakwika kapena kusakhutira ndi chiyanjanocho.
Kodi Kutha Kungayambitse Kukhumudwa?
Monga tafotokozera kale, kutha ndi kovuta. Amatha kusintha moyo wanu kwathunthu ndikukupangitsani kukhala osungulumwa. Ngakhale chisoni pambuyo poti chibwenzi chidatha ndipo chitha kupitilira pakapita nthawi, kupwetekedwa kumatha kubweretsa kukhumudwa kwa anthu ena.
Kafukufuku wa 2018 adapeza kuti kupatukana ndi mnzanu kumalumikizidwa ndi kukhumudwa. Mwa amayi, kukhumudwa kwakutha kumalumikizidwa ndi mavuto azachuma omwe adakumana atasiyana. Kwa amuna, kukhumudwa pambuyo pa kutha kwa banja kunali chifukwa chakusiya kuthandizidwa ndi anzawo.
Kutengera ndi zomwe zapezedwa mu kafukufukuyu, ndizomveka kunena kuti kupsinjika ndi kusintha kwa moyo komwe kumadza chifukwa cha kutha kwa banja kumatha kuyambitsa vuto lakukhumudwa. Poterepa, kukhumudwa kutha kwa banja kumatha kusintha kukhumudwa pambuyo paubwenzi.
Zizindikiro Zokhumudwa Pambuyo Pakutha
Kupsinjika kwa pambuyo pakutha kumatha kukhala kovuta kuyambira nthawi yachisoni mpaka kukhumudwa kwathunthu kwachipatala.
Ndi zachilendo kumva kukhumudwa, kukwiya, komanso kuda nkhawa pambuyo pa kutha kwa banja. Komabe, ngati malingaliro awa akupitilira ndipo amatsogolera kukhumudwa kwakukulu, mutha kukhala mukuwonetsa zisonyezo zakusokonezeka mutasudzulana.
Malinga ndi akatswiri, kafukufuku wasonyeza kuti zomwe zimakhudzidwa banja litatha ndizofanana ndi zisonyezo zakukhumudwa kwamankhwala. Nthawi zina, wothandizira kapena wama psychology amatha kuzindikira vuto losintha, lomwe nthawi zina limatchedwa kusokonezeka kwa malingaliro, pomwe wina ali ndi vuto la kukhumudwa pambuyo paubwenzi.
Mwachitsanzo, munthu amene ali ndi vuto lokhumudwa atatha kutha msinkhu akhoza kukumana ndi vuto lakusintha ndi kukhumudwa. Zizindikiro zina za matendawa ndi izi:
- Kukumana ndi kusintha kwa malingaliro ndi machitidwe mkati mwa miyezi itatu kutha kwa banja
- Kuvutika ndi malingaliro pambuyo pa kutha komwe kumasokoneza moyo watsiku ndi tsiku
- Kumva chisoni
- Kugwetsa misozi
- Kulephera kusangalala ndi zinthu zomwe kale zidakusangalatsani
Ngakhale zizindikiro zakumwambazi zomwe zidatchulidwa pamwambapa zimalumikizidwa ndi vuto lakusintha, anthu ena omwe akumva kukhumudwa atatha amatha kukhala ndi vuto lachipatala. Zizindikiro za kukhumudwa kwamankhwala ndi monga:
- Kukhala wopanda chiyembekezo kapena wopanda thandizo
- Kusintha kwa njala, komanso kunenepa kapena kutaya
- Kugona mopitilira muyeso
- Kupanda zosangalatsa kuchokera kuzinthu zanthawi zonse
- Kukhala wachisoni kapena wopanda pake
- Kukhala ndi mphamvu zochepa
- Kuganiza zodzipha
Kuti mukwaniritse zomwe zimayambitsa matenda ovutika maganizo, muyenera kusonyeza zizindikiro zosachepera zisanu za kusokonezeka maganizo mutatha. Zizindikiro ziyeneranso kuchitika kwa nthawi yosachepera milungu iwiri.
Izi zikutanthauza kuti kukhumudwa kwakanthawi komwe kumatenga masiku ochepa kutha kwa banja sikumakhala kukhumudwa kwenikweni. Kumbali inayi, kuthetsa zizindikiro za kukhumudwa zomwe zimatha milungu ingapo kapena miyezi ingathe kuthana ndi vuto lakukhumudwa.
Ngati mwangoduka kumene ndipo mukuwona zina mwazizindikiro zomwe zatchulidwazi, mutha kukhala ndi vuto losintha kapena kukhumudwa kwamankhwala mutatha. Izi ndizizindikiro zakukhumudwa pambuyo poti kutha kwa banja kumatha kuchitika pang'onopang'ono.
Magawo 7 Achisoni Atatha Kutha
Kuphatikiza pa kuti kukhumudwa pambuyo pa kutha kumatha kufikira msinkhu wokhudzana ndi thanzi lamisala, pali magawo osiyanasiyana okhumudwa atatha. Malinga ndi akatswiri azamaubwenzi, izi ndi izi:
1. Kufunafuna Mayankho
Gawo ili limaphatikizapo kuyesa kudziwa zomwe zidasokonekera muubwenzi. Mutha kutembenukira kwa abwenzi ndi abale ndikuwatsimikizira chifukwa chomwe chibwenzicho sichinathere.
2. Kukana
Munthawi imeneyi yakusokonekera kwa chibwenzi, mumayika nkhawa zanu pambali ndikupewa kukhumudwa m'malo moika mphamvu zanu zonse pakukhulupirira kuti ubalewo ukhoza kupulumutsidwa. Simungavomereze kuti chibwenzi chatha.
3. Kukambirana
Gawo lokambirana limachitika mukawona kuti muchita chilichonse chomwe chingafunike kuti muteteze ubalewo ndikubwezeretsanso mnzanuyo. Chifukwa chake, mulonjeza kuti mudzakhala bwenzi labwino ndikukonzekera zomwe zalakwika.
Kukambirana ndi chododometsa kuchokera kuzowawa zakusokonekera.
4. Kubwereranso
Chifukwa cha kutha kwa nkhawa, mutha kubwerera ku chibwenzi mwachidule, kenako nkuzindikira kuti chibwenzicho chikutha.
5. Mkwiyo
Mkwiyo pakutha kwa kupsinjika mtima ukhoza kulunjika kwa inu nokha kapena mnzanu wakale. Mutha kudzikwiyira nokha chifukwa cha zinthu zomwe munalakwitsa mu chibwenzi, kapena mungakhale ndi mkwiyo kwa mnzanu chifukwa cha udindo wawo pakulephera kwa chibwenzi.
Malinga ndi akatswiriwo, mkwiyo ukhoza kukupatsani mphamvu chifukwa ungakulimbikitseni kuyamba kuyenda ndikupeza ubale wabwino mtsogolo.
6. Kulandila Koyamba
Pakadali pano kukhumudwa mutasudzulana, mumayamba kuvomereza kuti chibwenzicho chatha, koma kuvomereza kumeneku kumachitika kokha chifukwa ndikofunikira osati chifukwa chofuna kuvomera.
Ndi munthawi imeneyi yakukhumudwa pambuyo paubwenzi pomwe mudzasiya kuyesa kupulumutsa chibwenzicho.
7. Chiyembekezo Chosinthidwa
Mchigawo chomaliza ichi cholimbana ndi kukhumudwa, chiyembekezo chanu chimasintha ndikukhulupirira kuti ubalewo utha kupulumutsidwa kuvomereza kuti tsogolo lopanda mnzanu wakale.
Izi zitha kubweretsa chisoni mukamapita kudera latsopano popanda chiyembekezo chodzapulumutsira chibwenzicho, komanso zitha kupanganso chiyembekezo chamtsogolo chatsopano.
Mu kanemayu pansipa, Alan Robarge, wothandizira za Attachment trauma, akukambirana momwe kupatukana kumakhudzira ubongo. Akuti lamulo lofunikira kwambiri ndiloti muyenera kudzikakamiza kuti mugwire ntchito ndikusunga chizolowezi chanu. Dziwani zambiri pansipa:
Momwe Mungagonjetsere Kukhumudwa Mukatha Kusudzulana
Ngati mukukumana ndi mavuto okhumudwa, mwina mukuganiza momwe mungathetsere kukhumudwa mutatha. Ngakhale zovuta zina pambuyo pa kutha kwa banja ndizabwinobwino, pali maupangiri amomwe mungapewere kukhala okhumudwa mutasudzulana.
Akatswiri amalangiza njira zotsatirazi zothanirana ndi kukhumudwa pambuyo paubwenzi:
Mwina poyamba mungakhale wachisoni kwambiri kuti musapindule kanthu, koma kugwira ntchito zina zapakhomo kapena kuchita zinthu zatsopano kungakulepheretseni kuti muzingoganiza za kutha kwa banja.
Malinga ndi akatswiri, kafukufuku akuwonetsa kuti kulemba zomwe mukumva ndi njira yothanirana ndi kutha kwa nkhawa.
Kukhala ndi anzanu kapena kupeza malo ochezera, monga magulu othandizira pa intaneti, kungakuthandizeni kuthana ndi kukhumudwa mutatha.
Kukhazikitsa kulumikizana kwamphamvu ndi anzanu kapena ndi ena omwe akukumana ndi zofananazi kungakuthandizeni kuti musamagwirizane mukataya chibwenzi. Izi zitha kupangitsa kuti kukhale kosavuta kuthana ndi vuto lakutha.
Kudzisamalira ndi kugona mokwanira komanso chakudya choyenera kungapangitse kuti kuthana ndi kupsinjika mtima kukhale kosavuta. Mukasamalira thanzi lanu, mumakhala bwino, zomwe zimakulitsa mtima wanu.
Malinga ndi kafukufuku, kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi kumalimbikitsa mtima komanso mankhwala ena opewetsa kupsinjika, ndipo kumatha kukulitsa thanzi lanu. Kudzuka ndikusuntha, chifukwa chake, ikhoza kukhala njira yabwino kwambiri yothanirana ndi kukhumudwa.
Mwambiri, kusamalira thanzi lanu ndikupeza mwayi woyeserera zinthu zatsopano ndikulumikizana ndi anthu ena ndi njira zofunika kuthana ndi kukhumudwa mukatha.
Nthawi Yoti Muthandizidwe Ndi akatswiri
Ngakhale pali njira za momwe mungathanirane ndi kukhumudwa mutatha nokha, nthawi zina, kukhumudwa kumatha kukhala kovuta komanso kosalekeza, komwe kumafunikira akatswiri othandiza.
Zimakhala zachisoni pambuyo poti banja latha, koma kukhumudwa kumatha pakapita nthawi, makamaka ngati mumadzisamalira.
Kumbali inayi, ndi nthawi yoti mupeze thandizo la akatswiri kukhumudwa kwakanthawi kukuchitika, sikusintha pakapita nthawi, ndipo kumabweretsa mavuto akulu pakugwira ntchito tsiku ndi tsiku.
Mwachitsanzo, ngati muli okhumudwa kwambiri chifukwa chakutha kotero kuti simungathe kukwaniritsa ntchito kuntchito kapena kulipira ngongole kapena ntchito zapakhomo, thandizo la akatswiri ndilofunika.
Ngati kutha kwavutikaku kukupitilira ndipo sikukuyenda bwino munthawi yake ndi njira zothanirana ndi vuto, mwina mwakhala mukukumana ndi matenda azachipatala kapena matenda osintha. Ngati ndi choncho, kukhumudwa pambuyo poti banja latha kungafune chithandizo.
Malinga ndi akatswiri, ngati mukumvabe chisoni miyezi ingapo kutha kwa banja, muyenera kufunsa katswiri wa zamaganizidwe kapena wothandizira kuti akuthandizeni. Mitundu iwiri yamankhwala yotchedwa chidziwitso-chithandizo chamankhwala komanso chithandizo chamunthu ndi chothandiza kuthana ndi kukhumudwa.
Mwachitsanzo, chithandizo chamakhalidwe abwino chingakuthandizeni kusintha malingaliro okhudzana ndi zomwe zidasokonekera muubwenzi kuti mukhale ndi malingaliro abwino.
Ngakhale mankhwala pawokha atha kukhala othandiza, nthawi zina, mungafunikire kumwa mankhwala kuti athane ndi kutha kwa nkhawa.
Wothandizira kapena wama psychology atha kukutumizirani kwa dokotala, yemwe angakupatseni mankhwala ochepetsa nkhawa kuti akuthandizeni kusangalala komanso kukhala ndi zisonyezo zakukhumudwa, kusachita chidwi ndi zochitika, komanso kudzimva wopanda thandizo.
Ngati simukudziwa ngati mukusowa thandizo pakutha kwachisokonezo, zingakhale zothandiza kutenga mafunso kuti mudziwe ngati mukuvutika ndi matenda azachipatala kapena simukusangalala ndikutha.
Njira 5 Zopewera Kukhumudwa Mukatha Kutha
Ngakhale chithandizo cha kukhumudwa chingakhale chofunikira nthawi zina, pali njira zopewera kupsinjika kwakukulu komwe kumafunikira chithandizo. Nawa maupangiri asanu othandiza kupewa zizindikiro zakusokonekera kwa matenda:
1. Khalani Ogwirizana
Mutha kuyesedwa kuti mukhale panyumba ndikusungunuka mukamakumana ndi zachisoni mutatha, koma ndikofunikira kuti muzilumikizana ndi anthu ena.
Kudzipatula kumangokulitsa vuto. Pangani madeti a khofi ndi anzanu, pitani ku zochitika zanu zanthawi zonse, kapena pitani kwa ena pa intaneti kuti muwathandizire.
Kupanga ndi kusunga mayanjano ocheza nawo kumatha kukuthandizani kuti muzilumikizana ndi anthu ena ndikudzaza zina mwazomwe zimachitika kumapeto kwa chibwenzi.
2. Dzisamalire Nokha
Malingaliro ndi thupi ndizolumikizana, chifukwa chake pamene simukudzisamalira, thanzi lanu lamaganizidwe liyeneranso kudwala. Pofuna kupewa kukhumudwa mukamasiyana, kumbukirani kutsatira zakudya zopatsa thanzi, kugona mokwanira, ndikukhala ndi zizolowezi zabwino.
Zitha kuwoneka zokopa kumwa mowa kapena zakudya zopatsa thanzi kapena kunyalanyaza thanzi lanu mukakhala kuti muli ndi chisangalalo mutatha, koma zizolowezi zoyipa zimangokupangitsani kuti muzimva kuwawa mtsogolo.
3. Ganizirani za Mphamvu Zanu
Kutha kwa ubale kumatanthauza kusintha kwakukulu m'moyo, monga kusuntha kapena kukulitsa vuto lanu lazachuma. Kulekana kumatanthauzanso kutaya dzina lako chifukwa ambiri omwe tili omangirizidwa kuubwenzi wathu ndiwofunika wina.
Izi zitha kubweretsa kutayika kwa kudzidalira komanso kudziona kuti ndi wopanda pake. Pofuna kupewa kugwa mphwayi, kumbukirani kuganizira zomwe mumachita bwino. Mwachitsanzo, ikani mphamvu yanu kuzinthu zatsopano kapena zolinga pantchito.
Kapena, ngati muli ndi mphamvu munyimbo kapena kulimbitsa thupi, mutha kuyang'ana mpikisano kapena zochitika zomwe mungachite bwino. Izi zikuthandizani kuti mukhale ndi chidziwitso komanso kudzidalira kunja kwa ubale wakale.
4. Pezani Nthawi Yochita Olimbitsa Thupi
Sikuti kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi kumakulolani kuti muzisamalira nokha, kumathandizanso kuti mukhale ndi nkhawa komanso kupewa kupsinjika mutatha.
M'malo mwake, lipoti la kafukufuku munyuzipepala yasayansi Mapulasitiki a Ubongo Zikuwonetsa kuti kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi ndi njira yabwino yothetsera kusinthasintha kwamaganizidwe. Zimachepetsa osati zokhumudwitsa zokha komanso zimawonjezera chisangalalo chabwino, ndipo zotsatirapo zake zimachitika nthawi yomweyo mukangolimbitsa thupi.
Kupita nthawi zonse kumalo ochitira masewera olimbitsa thupi kapena kukachita masewera olimbitsa thupi kumatha kukulitsa chisangalalo ndikukulepheretsani kukhumudwa mutatha.
5. Zindikirani Maganizo Anu Koma Osakhazikika
Ndikofunika kukumbukira kuti nthawi zina chisoni chimatha. Mukusintha kwakukulu pamoyo wanu, ndipo kuvomereza kuti chisoni ndichabwinobwino kungakhale kothandiza.
Izi zanenedwa, ndikofunikira kuti musamangokhalira kukhumudwa kapena kuzisiya. Tengani nthawi yokambirana momwe mumamvera ndi mnzanu wapamtima, kapena lembani za iwo mu zolemba, koma dziloleni kuti mukhale ndi nthawi yosangalala.
Kutenga: Mfundo Zazikulu Zokhudza Kusokonezeka Kwa Matenda
Nthawi zambiri chisoni chimatha, koma nthawi zina chimatha kukhala kupsinjika kwa kutha. Pali njira zothanirana ndi chisoni pambuyo poti banja latha, monga kudzisamalira, kutenga nthawi yochita masewera olimbitsa thupi, ndikupeza thandizo kwa ena.
Kugwiritsa ntchito njirazi, kukhazikitsa zolinga, ndi kuchita zinthu zatsopano kungateteze kupsinjika kwakukulu kwa kutha kwa banja. Nthawi zina, ngakhale mutagwiritsa ntchito njira zothanirana ndi kukhumudwa mutasudzulana, chisoni chanu chitha kupitilirabe.
Kutha kwa mavuto sikukhala bwino pakapita nthawi, kumakulepheretsani kuchita bwino pamoyo watsiku ndi tsiku, ndikubwera ndi zizindikilo monga kutopa kwambiri, kusachita chidwi ndi zinthu zina, kusowa chiyembekezo kapena kudzipha, ndi nthawi yoti mupeze thandizo wa akatswiri.
Katswiri wazachipatala amatha kukupatsani chithandizo kuti akuthandizeni kuphunzira kuthana ndi kukhumudwa mutatha. Dokotala amatha kukupatsani mankhwala kuti mulimbikitse kusangalala kwanu. Ngati mukuganiza kuti mutha kukhala ndi vuto lachipatala mukatha, ndikofunikira kupeza chithandizo cha akatswiri.