Zamkati
- Kodi ubale wodalirana ndi chiyani?
- Kodi ubale wodalirana umawoneka bwanji?
- Kudzidalira komanso ubale wachikondi
- Ndiye, mungaleke bwanji kukhala odalira paubwenzi wanu?
- Kodi ndizotheka kuti anthu awiri odalirika akhale ndiubwenzi wabwino?
Tonsefe tikudziwa kuti chinsinsi cha maubwenzi osangalala ndikuyang'ana zokambirana zinthu zikavuta.
Koma chimachitika ndi chiyani mzanu akapeza kuti akunyengerera mopitirira muyeso? Nthawi zonse amadzipeza okha akudziyang'anira okha, maubwenzi, ngakhale kudziwika kumbuyo, akumalemekeza wokondedwa wawo kuposa iwo eni. Akatswiri amisala ali ndi dzina laubwenzi wamtunduwu: Ubale wodalirana.
Kodi ubale wodalirana ndi chiyani?
Dr. Shawn Burn, katswiri yemwe analemba za kudalirana, ndipo akufotokoza maubale ngati awa: "Muubwenzi wodalirana, munthu m'modzi ndiye amachita zambiri zosamalira ndipo nthawi zambiri amadzitayitsa."
Muubwenzi wathanzi, onse awiri amadzimva kuti ndi ofanana pankhani yosamalirana, ndipo onse amasunga chidziwitso chawo.
Kodi ubale wodalirana umawoneka bwanji?
Muubwenzi wodalirana, mnzake wodalitsika amadzifotokozera okha ndi chibwenzicho ndipo amachita chilichonse chomwe chingafunike kuti akhalebe, ngakhale atakhala owopsa.
Amatenga zonse "ntchito" za chiyanjano pofuna kukhala wofunikira kwa wokondedwa wawo. Amaganiza kuti posamalira onse, wokondedwa wawo azidalira pa iwo ndipo safuna kuwasiya.
Kodi muli pachibwenzi chodalira? Ngati mukuganiza kuti muli pachibwenzi, dzifunseni mafunso otsatirawa:
- Kodi mumadziderera?
- Kodi zimakuvutani kukhazikitsa malire ndikuwakakamiza?
- Kodi ndinu okondweretsa anthu, nthawi zonse oyamba kudzipereka pazinthu, nthawi zonse kunena Inde?
- Kodi zimakuvutani kuzindikira momwe mukumvera?
- Kodi mumalemekeza kuvomerezedwa ndi mnzanu kuposa kudzichitira nokha ulemu?
- Kodi muli ndi zovuta kulumikizana?
- Kodi momwe mukumvera mumtima mwanu, chisangalalo chanu komanso ngakhale chisoni chanu zimachitika chifukwa cha momwe mnzanu alili?
- Kodi mumathera nthawi yochulukirapo masana kuganizira za mnzanu?
- Kodi mumangokhalira kufunsa mnzanu ngati amakukondani?
- Kodi mumayesetsa kutsimikizira mnzanuyo kuti sadzakusiyani?
- Kodi mumayika wokondedwa wanu pachimake, ndikuwakwaniritsa?
- Kodi mumapereka zifukwa kwa wokondedwa wanu, ngati amaiwala kuchita zomwe mwawapempha kuti achite?
- Kodi mumakhala ndi nkhawa ngati mnzanu sayankha zomwe mumalemba kapena imelo nthawi yomweyo?
Kudzidalira komanso ubale wachikondi
Ngati muli pachibwenzi chodalira, ndikofunikira kuzindikira gawo lanu.
Mmodzi wa inu adzakhala wopereka, amene amasamalira onse — ndipo mmodzi, wotenga — amene akukwaniritsa zonsezo.
Ngati mukufuna kuyanjanitsa ubalewo kuti ukhale wathanzi komanso wofanana, kungakhale kofunika kugwira ntchito ndi othandizira maanja kuti musinthe mawonekedwe anu.
Pansi pa chitsogozo chawo, muphunzira kugawana bwino maudindo anu, ndikupangitsa kuti ubalewo ukhale wopatsa komanso kutenga kuchokera kwa onse awiri.
Ndiye, mungaleke bwanji kukhala odalira paubwenzi wanu?
Choyambirira, zindikirani kuti kudalira ena sikutanthauza kuti ndinu munthu woipa.
Mukungokhala ndi mawonekedwe omwe mumaphunzira muli mwana. Muyenera kuti mwaphunzira malingaliro opanda chikondi, kuti chikondi chimatanthauza kusamalira kwathunthu munthu wina, apo ayi achokapo.
Kuti musiye kudalirana paubwenzi wanu, yesani izi:
- Tsatirani uphungu
- Tengani nthawi ya "ine", ndikuthandizira kukulitsa kudzikonda kwanu
- Phunzirani njira zolankhulirana zomwe zimakuthandizani kuyankhula zakukhosi kwanu ndi zokhumba zanu
- Yesetsani kukhala owona mtima kwathunthu ndi mnzanu
- Gwiritsani ntchito maubwenzi anu akunja; anzanu komanso mabanja
- Muzisankha nokha zochita osafunsa mnzanu kapena kufunsa kuti avomereze pazomwe mwasankha; lekani kuwafunsa. Ngakhale chinthu chophweka ngati "ndivala chiyani kuofesi yanu usiku uno?" Mutha kusankha nokha!
- Khalani olimba mtima. Dziwani zomwe mukufuna, ndipo pitirizani kutero
- Phunzirani kudzipanga nokha kukhala achimwemwe. Musayang'ane kwa mnzanu kuti mukhale osangalala; pangani izi nokha
- Dziwani kuti ndizosatheka kuyembekezera kuti wokondedwa wanu akhale chilichonse. Sangakhale amayi ako, abambo ako, mwana wako, mnzako wapamtima kapena m'busa wako. Ichi ndichifukwa chake ndikofunikira kukhala ndi anzanu akunja ndikulimbitsa ubale wanu ndi banja lanu komanso mdera lanu.
Mukamachira pakudalira anthu ena, ndikofunikira kudzisamalira.
Dzikondeni ndi mtundu wachikondi chomwe mukuyembekezera kuchokera kwa mnzanu. Dzichitireni zabwino, dzipatseni nokha ntchito zabwino.
Dziwani kuti ngati mnzanu wasankha kusiya chibwenzicho, mukhala bwino basi.
Dziko lapansi silisiya kuyendayenda ndipo mupitiliza kugwira ntchito pakukula kwanu.
Ili ndi gawo lofunikira pakuchira kwachinsinsi.
Kodi ndizotheka kuti anthu awiri odalirika akhale ndiubwenzi wabwino?
Poyamba, zitha kuwoneka ngati ubale wabwino kwambiri.
Kupatula apo, woperekayo amasangalala kusamalira mnzake, ndipo womutengayo amakonda kuti wina wake akuwayika pamiyendo.
Koma popita nthawi, woperekayo amakhumudwa chifukwa choti akuchita kukweza konse kolemera, polankhula.
Ndipo womutengayo angawone mnzake ngati wofooka komanso wofewa.
Umenewu sindiwo mkhalidwe wathanzi kwambiri wopezeka momwe muliri, ngakhale titha kupeza zitsanzo za maubale odalirana omwe akhala kwa zaka zotizungulira. Koma kumbukirani: chifukwa awa ndi maubale ataliatali, sizitanthauza kuti ali athanzi.
Kodi maubale odalirana amakhalapobe? Kodi anthu awiri odalirika akhoza kukhala ndiubwenzi wabwino?
Maubwenzi odalirana amatha kukhala mwamtendere, koma zikuwoneka kuti anthu onse omwe akutenga nawo mbali akusungabe mkwiyo wamkati pakusiyana kwa maudindo omwe munthu aliyense amakhala pachibwenzi.